Nathalie

I fixed the post... Sorry for the novel. *blush* Going to do something good for me.

Hi Sisters! I miss you all sooo very much. I have been swamped with work - the company, as I said, is being sold, and I've been traveling. I stepped on the scale yesterday morning and was down 6 pounds, so I'm really happy about that. I could tell my clothes were baggy, but I didn't know how much I'd lost. I've had an interesting life lately. I realized I was depressed, so I went back on anti-depressants for a while. They have brightened up my disposition quite a bit. As a result, I'm spring cleaning - throwing TONS of junk away, and getting myself in a better place. I'm exercising daily again, really trying to eat healthy foods (instead of chocolate eggs and sweet potatoes), and go back to basics. I'm journaling again, taking measurements and really focusing on me and my success. With everything that is going on around me, it was easy to fall out of touch with my goals. DS is doing well. He's busy as can be, and his room is next for "spring cleaning." He is the reason my post was cut off. His quick little fingers hit a key on the keyboard, and the screen changed. I thought he hit "backspace" and it took me to the previous screen - had no idea he'd posted. Thank goodness for mid-afternoon naps. The bar in my closet fell, and I got a California Closet put in. I am sorting through clothes that are too big or out of style, and they are getting donated. I'm also putting my smaller sized clothes in those under bed storage units to keep track of as I shrink out of these clothes. I'm still an 18 bottom, 14/16 top. But that should change soon. I look forward to the day when I'm a 16. And then a 14. And then a 12. HAHAH It'll happen. I know it'll happen. And I believe it'll happen before my 1 year anniversary. All things considered, we're only 4 months into this thing. And to have lost 30, 40, 50 pounds (or more) is absolutely astounding. I mean, over the past few weeks I was EATING like I had a hole in my neck, and never gained a pound. That's a NSV in and of itself. In the past I would have put on 10 or more pounds in that same time. I'm so glad to hear that everyone is doing well. I read most of the posts since the last time I was here (before easter!) - and I'm so proud of you all and of your successes. B'man - way to go, girlfriend! You look fabulous! You look happy from the inside. You're 5'7" - what is your goal weight? I'm 5'8" and am still not sure where I ought to end up. At 39, I'm just trying to make it one day at a time. LOL (P.S. I wanna see your friend, too. Being a groupie sounds like a blast!) Steph - you're killin it, girl! I love hearing that you love your body. Shake that size 14 booty, chile! You'll be a 12 in no time. I miss those post-surgery days when I wasn't thinking about food, too. KayDoll - thanks for the pm. Keep up the good work. I know how hard it is to balance everything that you have going on. I'm totally impressed that you're running! Oh man, that is phenomenal. I know I'd blow out my knees and burst a lung if I tried running right now. BooBoo - I'm praying for you and your DH. I wish you both health and speedy recovery. How's the book coming along? BK - happy belated anniversary. How are things going with you? How's your fill? Clau - have you been to Chicago yet? How was your party? What did you end up drinking? And yes, your cousin is a bitch. I would have wanted to punch her in the p*ssy for making such a rude comment. UGH. Reminds me of my mother. Jill - how is DD? OMG, I read your post, and honey, my heart ached for you. I hope you're not experiencing feelings of guilt over that. And I hope my mentioning it isn't making you feel bad. You're both in my prayers. VaB - $500 joining fee? My fat butt. I'm glad you found someone to help you who isn't smoking crack. $500? That made me mad. I hope you have success w/that doc, and I hope they treat you right. If not, ditch 'em. I'm still seeing my friend. It's going well for what it is. We've argued, we've fussed and still we're hanging in there. He's a sweet man, just has some personal issues to deal with, and I'm trying not to get too involved in that. Once I get to a point where I feel better about me, I'm looking to date a bit more, whether it's through match.com or someplace else. Steph - I feel more sexy lately. I certainly have my days. Last week, for instance, I wore red and black to work and felt like Beyonce. There are other days when I feel like Nell Carter. The mind is a powerful entity, for sure. I think once I really get back in my groove, things will feel better from the inside out. 240 is my next goal, and I better hit it by the end of April. No shit. So my Back to Basics campaign is tracking my food intake, going for the solid proteins first, taking my vitamins (which I haven't been doing) and not drinking any wine. I almost broke the no-wine rule the other night when I did my taxes and came up owing the G'vt $5,500. I ended up going to H&R Block and got a refund. It sucks though, because I have to pay state and city taxes. Piss me off. I was going to buy a bicycle this spring, but I can't afford it now. I'm just going to have to stick with the elliptical until I hit 225 and feel comfortable joining a gym. Guys at work have been trying to get me to join their gym. I just laugh, but in my mind I'm thinking "I'd rather die than have you see me work out." I'll get there sooner or later. Other NSV. I stood up to my mother. I feel so fabulous about it. She was coming to spend the night last week and I told her I'd love to have her, provided she was positive and supportive while she was here. I told her that meant not saying anything negative about me, my home, my parenting or my son. Long story short, she ended up crying and not coming. That was her choice. I felt better instantly. I'm really going to try and check in daily. Know that I'm thinking of you and wishing you all success even though I've been MIA. Hope you're all having a great Sunday! Nathalie

MISS you guys! Things are settling down and I'm feeling better. My company is getting bought out and everyone here is in panic mode because they think lay offs are coming down soon. I am kind of worried, but I can't focus on "I'm getting laid off." I totally believe in the power of positive thought. Anyhow, my fill has worked. Oh man has it. Yesterday as I was coming home from an out of town trip I ate dinner at Wolfgang Puck's restaurant in O'Hare. I had a cup of Soup and grilled salmon. After about 4 bites I had the boulder in my chest and my mouth started watering really bad. I had to get up and run to the bathroom (with my purse and laptop in tow) and ended up throwing up in my mouth on the way there. I stood in the stall puking for a good 6 or 7 minutes. I didn't eat anymore until I got home, and then it was cottage cheese with salsa. I'm on liquids today. I am trying not to weigh myself until next week Friday. I'm trying to do well eating only fish and vegetables for now, and drinking Water, water, water. The weather is nice and I'm walking outside more w/the baby. I'm also looking into buying a bicycle and a baby trailer to pull him - I think that will be a great thing to do this spring/summer/fall. Plus I love to ride the bike. NSV (as I haven't been on the scale since last 3/26) - a guy on my team asked if I have been working out. I said, "Yeah, I have." And he said, "I can tell, you look good." Then 2 more people chimed in and said, "Yeah, you do look good! I noticed too but didn't want to say anything cuz I know it can be a touchy subject." I said, "Why would it be a touchy subject? I know I'm fat." haaha Seriously though, I have been beaming since. And I fit into the seat on the airplane comfortably. Nothing was jammed in my hip or cutting off my air supply. I'm down to a 14/16 top and an 18/20 bottom. My goal for the week is to exercise every day - outside if at all possible. No more wine (after tonight HA!) and focus on eating well (protein and veggies). As for the hair LOSS issue, I went to the dermatologist, and HE said that they think the hair lost post WLS is due to Iron deficiencies. So he put me on an iron pill (which I forget to take most days). I am losing hair, too - but I think mine is change-of-season shedding. Anyhow, I'm heading out. When I put the baby in bed tonight (or tomorrow) I'll check in and read everything I've missed these past few weeks. I also have a DK update. And a few other amusing tales. Hope everyone is doing well. I am happy to report that I can see the silver lining! Love you guys more and more - thanks for supporting me even when I'm not around. I can feel the love, ladies, and I truly do love and appreciate you for it. Nathalie

Hi guys - Just checking in. Things are about the same as they were before. I'm totally struggling with life right now. It seems like everything has piled on me at once. I went in for my fill today. I have 9cc in my band. I've lost 1 pound since my last visit. I guess the silver lining is that I haven't gained any weight. I'm not going to meet my march goal. That sucks. Glad to see everyone is doing so well. Way to go ladies! Keep up the good work! Nat

I'm here. Thanks ladies. I'm feeling better, but not quite myself. My friend came over on Friday and I ended up telling him how I feel - and crying like a complete blubbering idiot. He called me last night to check on me, but haven't talked to him since. I'm sure he's running for the hills by now. I came to my Mom's house thinking it would make me feel better. She's helping with my little guy, which is nice. I was in the kitchen and she asked if I was losing weight. Before I could give an answer, she said, "Or is it because you're wearing black?" Then she came into the kitchen and poked at me, then rubbed my butt and said, "No you're a little thinner, your butt's not so big." And that was all she said. I FUCKING HATE THAT WOMAN SOMETIMES. I almost started to cry and go home. I just said, "Gee thanks mom. I'll take that as a compliment." I won't see her again until summer. My Mom's friend gave me a big pile of clothes, all work-friendly, most in sizes 14, 16 and 18. I mean, I CLEANED UP! A lot of the things she wanted to give me were too big, so I didn't take them. I'm going home in the morning to get myself to church. I feel like God is the only thing that's gonna get me through right now. I am completely, utterly overwhelmed by life right now. I feel so out of control it's scary. Tomorrow I'm back on my band-rules, exercise, etc. I have a month to the wedding, and I have to get down another size (or two). My goal is 235. Love you guys!

Just checking in. I'm in a bad place. I have been crying since last night - for no reason. There is nothing wrong, I am just exhausted from life right now. I'm 2 pounds lighter today, so something is working, but overall I feel overwhelmed by work and single motherhood. My eyes are leaking - just a steady little trickle. I'm not PMSing and I'm definitely not pregnant. Just feeling blue, I guess. TTYL.

At work. Daylight Savings Time has me ALL confused. Meetings are showing up at the wrong time, I'm behind on other things... UGH. I got a call from the surgeon's office. I wanted a fill on Friday, but can't do it cuz my surgeon does all his own fills, and he is out on Friday. That kind of sucks. I go in tomorrow morning at 8:30 for one. I gained 7 pounds! I need to update my ticket. Between my period, all the salt I ate, and the pounds I'm sure I put on, I earned it. I'll be back to "normal" within a week though. Just to be sure, I shouldn't be able to eat a Filet-o-Fish sammich, right? LOL VaB - sorry you're sick. What did you eat? UGH Get some rest. bk - supper slump? No fun. I like chicken-noodle casseroles, pasta bakes, salmon with potatoes, and other things. I also cook with my crock pot a lot - if you want recipes let me know and I'll email you some. Hope everyone else is having a great Monday! Nathalie

Hey Chicas - Chicago is fabulous. I have been eating like my old fat self and I'm miserable. Tomorrow (HA!) I'm back on the bandwagon. I still have an appoinment with chips and dip. We went to Uncle Julio's Hacienda yesterday for messican and gotdamn it was DELICIOUS! I washed everything down with 2 margaritas and was zooted. Then I ate cake for dinner. I can't tell if it's my period, the man-stress, my job-stress, obstinance, depression or just plain greed. But I don't think I'll have a problem going back to liquids and whips for a couple days and then get back on my "band plan." I bought a new stroller for DS yesterday - a Baby Jogger. The guy was so funny, telling me it was for light to moderate jogging. I said, "Ummm, I do about as much jogging as you do." HAHAH He was a tubby little man. He said, "Don't get fooled by my jelly. I run all the time!" We were cracking up. I bought it in red, and I bought it with the intension of running once the weather breaks. Maurdan, how tall are you? And way to go with your eating. I know it's hard to pull back, but way to go! Admittedly, I didn't read everyone's post, but only cuz the boy is fighting for my attention. I'll post when I get home and do personals for everyone. Hope you remembered to spring forward and that you're all having a great day! We're stopping in Michigan City on the way home - I need silverware and a new bedspread. Something bright and spring-timey. The one I have now is about 6 years old. I need a change. Love you ladies! Nathalie

Hey Ladies - I had 2 glasses of wine and a good cry for dinner. I have no idea what's wrong with me. I want to text my friend and tell him we need to talk - which he tried to do yesterday -but I know he won't answer me, plus that is a total bitch-move, so I turned off my phone. HAHAH I'm going to Chicago tomorrow. My job is hard, the people are crazy, and really, I've lost myself again. I was eating rotisserie chicken for dinner, I put some light Miracle Whip on it to "moisten" it and the bitch got stuck. I thought I was going to fucking DIE. I was puking into my kitchen sink. GROSS, I know. No more chicken. And no more mindless eating. Maybe we've hit the 3 month funk, ladies. We have to regain the eye of the tiger! KayDoll - I love you so much. You are not your father. I think I'm afraid of being thin as well, though I've always craved attention, I have a buffer around me that keeps people away. Work through it. I know you're busy but you have insurance - have you thought about therapy? I go every 2 weeks and it helps validate me. StephC - I love you so much! *hug* thanks for the kind words and your enduring support. VaB - Men. Can't live with 'em, can't chop 'em into tiny pieces and feed 'em to the dog. Seriously - fuck 'em. I'm so sick of wanting a man and being hurt by men and wondering what they're thinking and trying to figure 'em out, and being sad cuz I don't have one and then infuriated when I do. It's a trip, isn't it? Annie my love, I will never settle. NEVER. I can do bad all by myself. Thanks for believing in me, gal! And I believe that you will break out of your shell and embrace yourself as the goddess that you truly are. You have a bright and shining spirit, Annie Banannie. One day you'll believe it. Claudie - Sorry about the job. Where in IL are you trying to go? You'll make it there someday. May I ask (I hope this isn't rude) is English your first language? I love the way you write, and I hear a Russian accent in your posts. Could be Nat Psychosis, however. bk - how are you doing babygirl? Are you in need of a fill, or are you still puking? I go to the doc next Friday and am looking for one more 1cc fill (even though my chicken attacked me tonight). I think it would be good for me. How is the KID situation? I know you've been posting, but I miss you girlfriend! BBK - how are you doing? You've had a hard time of it lately. WHERE IS SWEETHOT?!!? Gotdamn gal, where you been? B'Man - I love you. Sorry to hear about your illness but I'm glad you're all better. Glad you got the title to your car. Sorry about your car troubles though - that sucks. Glad your Granny lent you her car, but damn her car troubles too! I hope things look up for you soon. Who am I forgetting? SexyTexan... wait, what's your handle? How are you doing? And Maurdan - what's shakin gal? I hope the rest of you are hanging in there. I haven't gotten my fat ass on the elliptical at all lately. I need to do just that, or I am really going to regret it in a few weeks. I am going to eat freely (though relatively in moderation ) through Sunday. Monday I'm back on it. I decided to go to Chicago at the last minute. I knew if I sat around here with NOTHING to do all weekend I'd be text messaging "my friend" and I need to stay strong. Nothing like a moment of weakness to have you texting and calling inappropriately. LOL I suck at that. He needs to come to me, though he called me last night and I TOTALLY ignored his punkass. ***laughing*** Love you guys! Truly truly I do! Nathalie

Hey Ladies - I'm here. I checked my journal and have only lost 2 pounds since 2/14. I am depressed. I decided to trick my metabolism and I'm eating high calorie, high fat foods for 3 days. Then I'll go back to 600 calories per day like I've been eating, and I'll increase my exercise. I'm hoping that I will drop like 35 pounds in a week that way. Okay, 35 is a *bit* excessive, but you know what I mean. Things with my "friend" have come to a screeching halt. I'm back to being single with no prospects. What a waste of time and energy. And that "jesus" routine is an act. I had no business fooling around with an employee to begin with. Lesson learned. I can't wait for Friday. I think I'm depressed again. *sigh* TTYL, Natty Bumppo

Stephanie - YOU MAKE ME SICK! Now I've got chips and dip on the brain. Ooooh, I love chips and dip. I'll have to email you and KayDoll... *giggle* Back at home. The trip home was uneventful. It was a beautiful day to fly, even though we came home to the freezing cold. I think there's more snow outside now than there was when I left. DS looked out the window from home *extremely* puzzled and said (what I took to be) "No Water... SNOW!" Ain't that the truth, kid?! I lost **are you ready girls?** 0.5 pounds last week. WTF? I knew I hadn't lost a lot, but half a damn pound? Shit, I'm at two fitty. So it's time for me to get serious about taking this weight off and do it. no more wine, no more margaritas... *sigh* NO more hummus. Lean meats, cottage cheese - maybe I'll go back to the whips for a while. Last night at 10pm I was standing in the kitchen scarfing down pizza. (Leftover from dinner) This morning I'm eating dried apricots, had a Protein drink and am planning to have chicken and spinach for dinner. I had to pull my hair into a bun today because it's sooooooo jacked up from the water and humidity. I'm going to get it done before work tomorrow. Who was it who mentioned a March goal? Can I join in? I know it's late, but I'd like to do my elliptical 16 times before March 31 and lose 10 pounds. Starting from my weight today: 250.0 *sigh* I hate being fat.

... wow So today is my last day in paradise. The expected high is 87. Guess where my flabby ass is gonna be? Yeah, laying by the pool! ALL. DAY. I got lots of sun yesterday, too. I am soooo happy to be here. I totally feel rejuvenated. We got another 6" of snow up home over the past 2 days, so I know I'm going back to some freezing cold BS. UGH I hope we don't get sick. Things are back on track with my friend. Being apart for 2 weeks at the start of a relationship has us both tilted. We talked things out, he felt disrespected, I felt he was being ridiculous. I think we'll be 100% ok when I see him again. We're supposed to get together tomorrow afternoon for a couple hours. He has his son, so there won't be much in the way of hanky panky. I have been eating my ass off since I've been here. Sabra makes hummus that i have been KILLING. Oh man, it is SO GOOD! I haven't exercised as much as I would have liked, but I am confident that my scale will say 24X. I have to pack tonight, and do a few loads of laundry. Also need to get cash for the trip home. DS just woke up, so let me jet. I need to get him cleaned up, fed and dressed so we can scoot out to the pool. I want to be out there by 10. Not much else to report. OH! Have any of you eaten sushi since being banded? Did I tell you about my sushi escapade? NOT CUTE. I was in the parking lot with a gigantic LUMP in my chest, spitting up and trying to puke. I think it was the seaweed wrap. Not cool. I hadn't had sushi since 12/04 - before I knew I was pregnant! It was so good, but ... no more, I guess. Steph - 199? CONGRATULATIONS YOU SKINNY BITCH! :eek: I am so jealous! At 199 I'd be walkin around like Beyonce, do you hear me? ahahah That is fabulous. And girl, you're never too harsh toward me. You know I appreciate "straight arrows." Love ya, girl! More personals later. XOXO, N.

nikki - I think you're human. Don't compare yourself to others. All of our bodies are different. I was damn near 300 pounds when I started, so maybe that's why I'm losing faster? I'm also forcing myself not to eat the foods I really want to eat. I just want all this fatness off of me, by any means necessary. B'man - work it girlfriend! Glad that there's a silver lining for you. Thank goodness for Grammas! (I miss mine sooo much!) Steph - sorry you have a cold, girl. Does the Actifed work? I've never heard of that. bk - how are you doing? Are you still tossing your cookies? KayDoll - good luck with your school stuff. Im' ready for you to get a break. BBK - glad you got unfilled. Did you even tell us you were getting filled? I think you're holding out on us, girlfriend! And yes, you are welcome to all my clothes when I'm too small to fit 'em. OMG speaking of which - siyah probably thinks I'm the worst liar! I boxed up all my clothes but haven't sent the boxes yet. I'll have to do that on Monday. I suck, utterly and completely. My friend and I are on the outs. He's not speaking to me right now. All over me spending time with my son's father. He thinks I'm going to sleep with the man, which I'm not, he's gotten jealous, got angry and then picked a fight. I didn't respond to him until last night when my ex left. I'm not having an argument via text message. When I called, he didn't answer and hasn't called me back yet. I should have lied when he asked if I was enjoying spending time with the ex, and if any old feelings were resurfacing. I really like him, but it seems too early in the relationship for me to be going through all these changes for him. We're not even dating. I think it's silly that he won't talk to me. It makes me sad though. I changed our reservations. We are now going home on Sunday instead of Saturday. I needed one more day on the beach. I am going home to lay in the sun today, lay in the sun all day tomorrow and lay in the sun all day Saturday. I am going to stop by Bariatric Eating for some of those sugar free mixers - I plan to get my drank on! I guess that's all for now. 45 more minutes in the office and my day is OVER! My boy, his dad and I are having a little picnic on the beach today. DS gets his first hotdog. Should be fun - we're going to take pictures today, too! I love the look of my "family unit." DS is the perfect blend of his dad and me. Nathalie

Yes, this is the youth pastor guy. He's also works with me, remember? I guess my fear is if I tell him and things don't work out, he'll tell other ppl at work. Maybe that's an irrational fear, I don't know. I ain't got no business getting naked with that man in the first place. He also pissed me off yesterday, so I am giving him some space. Or maybe I'm giving myself some space. I went to work out yesterday and ran for 10 minutes on the treadmill. Then I started smelling a "burning" smell, so I figured the treadmill was telling my fat ass to get off. So I did. I also did 10 minutes on the stairmaster (my butt is KILLING me today) and another 10 on the recumbent bike. I think today I will go home and run on the pavement. Would you believe I've been at work since 6am?! My office is only 2 blocks from Bariatric Eating. Imagine that. I'm thinking about swinging by there for some more of those yummy little cheese crackers. Man they are good! I'm doing fairly well with my eating, but am working on my water intake and increasing my exercise. I can't remember when my next appointment with the surgeon is, but I want another fill. 1CC, please, Doc. I think it's March 16. I think that is the end of my free fills, too. *sigh* Anyhow, I have 4 things to finish before I'm leaving. The sooner I'm done, the sooner I'm gone. Would you guys believe I haven't seen TAR at all this season? I hope TiVo still has all the episodes for me. I love that show, especially seeing how it's All Stars. I should go and check out who's gone so far. I was kind of pissed to see that 1 of the teams (guy/girl) wasn't an original team. That kind of sucked to let them on, especially since they could have cast my beloved Lynn and Alex. I LOVED THEM! Remember how they would hiss "bitches" at Romber? HA! Ooh, nearly 7am. Let me get busy. Have a great day, ladies! nathalie

StephC - No, Steve Carrell didn't win. It was Alan Arkin, the cussy, heroine abusing grandfather. I haven't seen the movie, but it looks hilarious. I love Greg Kinnear. I wanted Eddie to win, but oh well. I'm glad JHud did. I just had a thought. Things are ... progressing w/my friend. When he sees me belly scars and asked what happened, what do I tell him? EGADS! That's a huge decision! Do I just suck it up and tell him the truth? Is it too soon? Is it even his business? Can I say, "I needed a little work done" and leave it at that? He called today to tell me he misses me. Just sweet. I am going to work it out on the treadmill right now. For some reason I feel like running. If I can run for 20 minutes and do another 30 on the stairmaster I'm all good for the day! I'm having a protein shake for dinner. N.

BMan - I take it in the winter because the MI sky is so gray and cloudy and depressing. LIke prison. I hope my suggestion didn't offend you. I'm sorry. I have sold clothes on Ebay - mostly my pregnancy clothes. Made a killing. Glad to hear everyone is doing great. My work day is over - I am going to hit the beach! Nat

Bman - I take Wellbutrin. Girlfriend? IT HELPS! Maybe you'll want to look into something like that. VaB - Not love. Not yet. But extreme and significant like. He told me he could fall in love with me. I'm just trying to figure out what this is. I adore him, no doubt. Love? Not yet. There is definitely some LUST in there. Did I mention the man it 6'5"??! Oooh sweet LORD. With big feet, huge hands and thick wrists. Let me just say if he *ahem* measures up to my expectations, I may have a hard time letting go. Which is why I need to start training. HAHAHAH I'm going home to go running on the treadmill today. I need to get my wind up and start doing some stretching to improve my flexibility. HAHAH I want that man to bend me like a pretzel. Okay - I done stepped outside of myself. Seriously though - My son's father was the last: January 16, 2005. I need it bad. NGA

Okay Mommas! Guess who's back? Yeah, me. I'm actually in the remote office today, but things are great. I am in "skinny" clothes - and i have a LOT of NSV's to share with you! So I went to Macy's on Saturday. They were having a HUGE sale. I spent close to $800. I bought clothes in size 14 and 16 (planning ahead). I got this dress - it's a Nine West black and white sundress. Size 14. The bitch fits! I didn't even try it on in the store - just bought it knowing that eventually it would slip over my bulbous body. It fits now. Form fitted in the bodice, and a full skirt. I think that is what I'm going to wear to the wedding in April. I also bought 4 blazers, 4 blouses, 2 skirts, 5 pairs of slacks and some other little things. All Jones New York label - I love that designer. I am still in search of navy slacks. My son's father has been a gem. He's been by once already, is coming today and tomorrow, and is coming back on Wednesday night to stay over so I can get up in the morning to be at work bright and early. He gets off work at like 4am, so he's coming right over after work, and i'll leave the house at 6 or so. The funny thing about him, I used to be so enamored with him - from head to toe (especially the middle parts). He has gained weight - about 30 pounds since the last time I saw him. He looks so meaty and paunchy, less attractive than ever before. The first time I saw that man my heart stopped. I feel free. FREE! And I feel fabulous. He saw me and said, "You look really great." Uh huh, thanks Tubby. ((HAHHA j/k) My friend and I have been on the phone constantly - either text messaging or talking late at night. He misses me, wants to see me, can't wait til I get home. Last night he told me that he could fall in love with me; I'm the kind of woman he's wanted to be with his whole life. He asked me if he makes my life better... He is the sweetest man. I asked if he wanted to come to FL for a few days this week, but ticket prices are too damn high. (over $600) It's all very exciting and overwhelming. I wonder how much of the attraction is for the sake of feeling loved, and how much is for the person. (Know what I mean?) We were on the phone until 2am this morning. He's going to the wedding in April with me. We're talking about coming to FL in September (Labor Day). We're talking about taking the kids on outings. I am not kidding; I was blindsided by this. Stay tuned, ladies. I've not exercised since last week - I feel like a tubby little tuna. I went to Bariatric Eating and spent money I didn't have on things I didn't need. That Micellar Milk is DELICIOUS! I'm going to order it when I get home. I also want some of those sugar free syrups to put in my coffee, etc. I bought cheese crackers (which are delicious with hummus), snack bars (some are wafer bars and are frickin delicious!) and the Nectars. Tonight I need to hoist the jelly on the stairmaster or on the treadmill and work it out for an hour. I feel light enough to run. I need to be two-forty-something when I get back home. I feel so disconnected from you guys lately - I have been reading but not posting personals. With each passing day I feel more and more like myself - my old me. Slender, confident, beautiful (except my crazy poofy afro hair) and desireable. Glad to hear everyone is doing great! Steph put that scale away until the P-Rot is gone. BBK - glad you're still a free woman! Screw that judge, hateful little shriveled up dork. bk - how you doing, girl? Sassy - Yes, I feel that way too - gorgeous one day, jabba the hut the next. VAB - Sorry about the snow. (HA!) It's 80 degrees here. Not much else going on. I am smiling for no reason... I can't wait to get home. My friend said he would meet me at the airport to help with our bags, then he's coming over to visit for a while - dinner, etc. He has his son this weekend, so the kids are going to play together while we catch up. (ahem) Life is good. Nathalie

EVERYONE (especially my father) is on my last frickin nerves. LAST. NERVES. Went to the bariatric eating store today. Dropped $110. Probably will go back before I leave. We're having dinner with 2 boring as hell friends tonight. NOT looking forward to going. UGH. Just want to go home with my 'man' and snuggling in bed. I know... crazy. Hope you're all well! Nat

I am in Miami, well Pompano Beach. It was 82 here today. I didn't even make it to the pool. I was busy dealing with a sick kid (too much apple juice yesterday) and a needy father. We went to Target and to Publix (I LOVE THAT STORE!) and I spent $450. *sigh* My son's father flaked on me this morning. Something about a car accident and his sore back. Whatever, just pay the child support and bugger off. I have gotten many, many text messages from my friend. He misses me. Shhhh! I miss him, too. I invited him to Atlanta in April to attend a wedding with me. He readily accepted. LOVE IT. Kaydoll - thanks for posting that link! GIRL? I came on to find it, and here you are. Angel in action, I swear. I'll see what I can find souvenir wise, but if there are some products you want, but don't want to order, let me know and I'll get them for you. The same goes for the resta ya! (Don't go overboard though) I'm going to get myself together this week. I didn't exercise today, and I ate another sandwich. I haven't had a good poop in over a week. so I'm ready to take some MOM or something. And get to exercising! Love you guys! Nathalie

I'm still here - WORK has been kicking my AZZ this week. I am literally exhausted. Can't wait to head to FL. 5pm flight out of the tundra. We don't land until 10pm. I posted in group - lots going on w/me and my friend. I miss him tons. Haven't exercised all week - have been working from 7am - 10pm. My new mattress was delivered yesterday and I had a fabulous night's sleep. I can't wait to snuggle up with my friend in my new bed. *sigh* Gotta go pay attention though - I didn't want to leave without saying HI and i love you guys. OH! Tomorrow I am going to the bariatric store in Pompano. KayDoll ordered some protein samples from this place. What's the name of the store? It's located in Pompano. I am THERE. I am only eating that stuff all week while i'm there. Low carb, low fat, high protein. I want to lose 5 pounds this week. And get tanned and sunkissed. It's 80 degrees in FL. Love you guys! Nathalie

STEPHC! OMG! You look astounding! You're gorgeous, girl! Be proud of yourself! All of that cross country skiing and the treadmill, not to mention eating sensibly is paying off! I can really tell a difference. I know it's hard to tell when we look at our own pictures, but you really can. Way to go, girlfriend! My day has sucked so far. I dumped the baby off on an overnight sitter. I need a break. My friend is coming over soon to do dinner and to hang out. I can't stay out too late, it's a school night. But it should be fun for a few kisses and some heavy petting. (YAAAAAY!) I am going to clean up my bedroom... just in case. Hope everyone is having a great day!

(((Brandy))) don't feel bad. I know it's hard not to be discouraged when you buy something new because you feel slender and svelte and it doesn't fit. The clothiers size things different to screw with our brains, I swear. Look at how far you've come. Take 'em back when you have time and try on some blouses/shirts in the store. We all get down sometimes. I understand completely. pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get on with it, girlie! bk - I used to have a job where I traveled every week. I was on planes and in other cities more often than I was at home. I'm brave on flights, as long as we're not flying in thunderstorms. Just met my mother to get my shoes. First thing she said to me was "Why do you have on so much make up?" Then she asked "What did you do to the baby's hair?" Finally she asked "When's the last time you had your car washed?" Everything out of her mouth is so CRITICAL! I'm so glad I didn't tell her about my surgery! The next time I see her, I plan to be much skinnier. She exhausts me. What's everybody else doing today? N.

We went to church today. I think that after I get back from FL I am going to visit some other churches to see which one I like, and then we need to join one. Now that I've got the momentum to go, it's not hard to get up and participate in my own salvation. Yeah, I think I'll wait. I may even cancel tomorrow's date, just because I can. He hates being rejected, and it would be my pleasure to put him off for a while longer. Aside from that, I really may have to work tomorrow night. Big Wigs are coming into town and I'm in exec. mtgs Tues - Thurs. I forgot - NSV. On Friday I wore a pair of chinos and a fitted turtleneck to work. The nutso (lies to get attention) lady in the office said, "Nathalie, can I ask you a kind of personal question?" I nodded, and she goes, "Are you losing weight?" I smiled and said, "Just a little." She goes, "Yeah, I can tell." Then she launched into some lies about her husband having to fire some people and blah blah blah. But she did notice, and she's said more than anyone else in the office, except for the guy who interrupted me to say "Hey, you've lost weight. A LOTTA weight! WOW!" ahahah Like I was Jabba the Hut before. I just smiled and said "Thanks Rob." ahaha I wanted to kick him in his scrotum. I need to clean my room. *sigh* I also need to pack for my trip. I can't wait to go! We're flying, bk. That's a big ordeal in and of itself, thanks to my crazy baby boy. He doesn't like to sit still so we're going to be cramped onto that plane for a while. I hope he just sits there and STFU. bk why are you still throwing up? Call your doctor. Stay on liquids until you get that fixed. You should not be throwing up! VAB - good luck on your fill! I know you're ready for it! Sorry you're still feeling lousy. Being sick is absolutely no fun at all. Poor thing. I hope you feel better soon! Do what you need to do to make yourself feel better! Talk to yall later! Hope everyone is having a great day! Nat.

In case you all couldn't tell, I had a HARD DAY yesterday. CC was irritable and acting out. I wasn't in the mood. He spent a lot of his day playing in his crib. I am debating whether to go to church again today. I'd like to go, but I'd also like to stay here and veg. We don't have to leave until 10am, so I have time to decide. I talked to Big Man last night. And the conversation has either sunk to a new low or soared to a new height, depending on your point of view. I LOVE IT! Next time I see him I won't be able to keep my hands off him. WHEW. I can't wait. Monday evening we have a movie date. I hope we make it to the theatre. I'd like to "hold out" until after my FL trip just to drive him crazy. We'll see if I make it. Otherwise all I have to do is clean my room. Seeing how I may have company back there tomorrow, I need to nip and tuck all my junk. I can't wait for my new mattress to get here. What's goin on with you ladies? Anything fun? Nathalie