Napping4Beauty

I have been normal weight for my height most of my life.  In 1997, I entered an addition treatment program.  I weighed about 130 which was extremely underweight for my frame.  I was put on medication and feed very well during my 6 weeks of hospitalization and gained quite a few pounds, which was good.  After discharge, the medication, caused me to continue to gain weight at an alarming rate.  I was buying new under clothes every three weeks.  After 6 months I had gained a total of 100 pounds.  My skin was so tight, it looked and felt like a pin would pop it.  I had initially adjusted to the weight gain.  Being sober and starting my life over was a blessing.  I have never accepted the weight gain and would still try to fit into spaces I once could.  In my mind, I was not THAT big. As the years went by and my knees began to ache and I saw pictures of myself I tried to loose weight.  I had a co-worker who went out of the Country in 2004 to have a lap-band and thought about the procedure, but it was still new.  I was familiar with the gastric bypass and I did not want to be cut like that, I think she had a large cut also.  I do not handle pain well and was afraid of the recovery.  Over the last few years my weight increased to 285.  I had trouble breathing, it was hard for me to walk due to shortness of breath, I was in constant pain in my knees, and very depressed.  I continued to try to loose weight, however food was my friend and it was a comfort in the evenings to help get over a failed 6 year relationship.  Last year, enough was enough and I went on-line and discovered the procedure could be done laparoscopically.  I checked with my insurance and discussed the procedure with each doctor I went to.  I found my doctor on-line and God must have been waiting on me too.  The team I found was extremely friendly and told me the what was required before surgery could be performed.  I have to admit, I dragged my feet a bit, so we were unable to do it by the end of last year.  Early this year, the insurance needed additional information.  I went on liquid diet, I went off liquid diet, I ate correct, I ate badly of and on for the last year because it seemed like it would never happen.  When it seemed like we were close to the planning date, I went back on liquid diet and my weight at time of surgery was 265.  I had lost 20 pounds and did not realize it!  My surgery was scheduled for July 13, 2009.  A close friend of mine had started going to Food Addicts Anon and invited me to got to a few meeting with her.  I went and realized it will be a great support group to attend also.  She strongly suggested I postpone the surgery for a month and try that program.  She felt the surgery was too radical.  I prayed and felt such a sense of calm that I knew I was making the correct decision.  I was not fearful of the procedure or the recovery.  It was kind of eerie, very unlike me.  I know now that it was God giving me the courage to go forward with a procedure that was designed to help me regain control of my weight.  My sobriety date is January 26, 1997 and My recovery weight loss date is July 13, 2009.  I will celebrate 2 anniversaries, God has given me another way to start over!  I am at home still recovering and very happy I found this chat room tonight.  I have been looking for one.  My journey is just beginning and I have many questions and will be checking in often.  Best wishes to all and Yes We Can - Yes We Did - Yes We Will Keep Changing! October 16, 2009 - Had 2nd fill, lost 23 pounds since surgery.  Healed well without any complications.  I am fitting into clothes a whole lot easier and co-worker are giving me the thumbs up.  I am happy with my decision and choice of medical team.  However, I must admit God lead me to the physician.  I was a person seeking and he - God - lead the way, I followed the path.  I have had $$$$$ issues because I was not able/did not save enough to cover my household expenses w/o income for 30 days.  I thank God for my father, sister, friends, and co-workers who helped see me through.  It is a humbling experience to ask for $$ from people you would rather not.  However, we live in a round world.  The joy I feel from the benefit of taking the steps to better health is much greater.  I am still a baby in  the lapband journey.