libra

My surgeon told me pick up and carry around a 5 pound sack of potatoes every time I lose five pounds. Five pounds seems so piddly until it's put in perspective. Thanks for the motivation.

Sorry to jump in late. Yes the fills are in the same building now, in the radiology department. Fills run about $700 out of pocket. Dr. Nusbaum is so wonderful though. If you explain that your insurance won't cover and that you can't afford it , he'll work something out regarding his fee. He can't help with the lab and tech fees though as that's through St. Barnabas. He truly is a fantastic surgeon and a wonderful man. He's so kind and caring. My insurance is changing and I'm waiting to get a fill because I don't want to lose him. He hasn't been in my plan for the last 6 months and I can't afford the lab fees for the fills. Can't wait to get back there and get back on track.

Do they use a fluoroscope when you get filled? My surgeon uses one and it makes it much easier. He can tell my fill level without much problem and no guesswork. I would definitely agree that you need a fill. As for the sweets and junk food, unfortunately that's where your willpower needs to come in. It never fails that the junk food is the easiest to get down. There are a few places to get tickers, one is tickerfactory. Take the url (after you make the ticker) and go to your user cp. Go to "add signature" click on the "image" icon and paste the url in the space. Once you update the signature, it should be there. You've done great so far. I'm in need of a fill to but have to wait as our insurance is changing. I'm kinda stuck in limbo until that happens.

I would have to agree with the "counseling" It really helps with the communication gaps. Suggest to him that you go to a male counselor. It really helps my husband to feel like he wasn't going to get ambushed by a couple of women. Maybe if you explain that it would help with your communication he might agree to go. Sometimes guys need to be worked a little. Perhaps presenting it as "I need some help in understanding your needs and I think counseling will help me do that. Will you go with me?" may get him to go under the guise that he's helping you but he's perfectly fine. Once they get in there a few sessions, men tend to open up to it. You have to break through the testosterone first.

Oh I agree with that! Since I was about 14 I started "dieting" and I have to say that it sets you up for failure. Whenever I was about to start a "diet" I would start feeling miserable, figuring I would fail at it. I'd start dwelling on the foods that I couldn't eat and eventually "cheating" with them. It's not until I said "no" to dieting and accepting that I need to live a healthier lifestyle that I started to feel in control of my eating habits. I don't say "no" to chocolate, I just say "yes" less frequently and in smaller amounts. BTW, a Violet Crumble is a chocolate covered nougat thing except the nougat is really fluffy and crunchy. I can't compare it to anything in the US. It's like a cross between a butterfinger and a milky way. It's got the crunch of a butterfinger but the flavor of a milky way. YUMMY! My friend from Sydney occasionally sends me a few of them and some Pollywaffles (the names are hilarious, aren't they?) I found out you can order them on Amazon. I said I'd treat myself when I get to goal.

Oh, can you send a Violet Crumble my way? It's been a rough week and I LOVE Violet Crumbles!

I have a good friend that introduces herself to good looking men by saying..."I'm so and so and I have no gag reflex" LOL! She's joking, er at least I think she is. Anyway, I remember reading on an old forum what was in semen. If you swallow, don't read it...you may never do it again. I have no problem with it and actually enjoy making hubby happy and he's VERY good at reciprocating!!!!

EVERYONE!!!!! Please be aware that this thread is being thoroughly watched by the moderators of this forum. We are fully aware of the volatile nature of the thread and suggest you choose your words carefully if you choose to post here. We will not allow any posts that violate the rules of this forum. (Yes, there are rules in the R&R section) Remember, in the R&R section you can attack an idea but not the person. Let's keep that in mind when posting. BTW, We don't want to see any of the drama from this thread carry over into other threads on this board. In other words.... THE DRAMA ENDS NOW!!!!!! Those who continue with it can expect to be contacted by one of the mods. Peace!

Jacqui, Maybe you're the opposite because you're in the southern hemisphere. (LAME JOKE ALERT!!) Sorry for that, couldn't help it. I used to ask my friend in Sydney if her toilet flushed counterclockwise. I was told that as a child. She thought I was nuts!!! LOL!

It varies for me as well. I think it depends on how quickly I notice I'm stuck. If it's pretty early on, I can basically lean over the toilet and it comes out. Sometimes, it takes a little more work. If I'm an absolute idiot and eat something I know will get stuck...I pay the price. Usually a few trips back and forth to the bathroom. My husband says... "Round two, Angela vs. the toilet. Round three...etc." Smartass! LOL!

I think my snacks could be considered meals I suppose. I'll have a yogurt or some low fat cheese and grapes. Even the snacks are protein based. I prefer to call them snacks...it makes me happier. LOL!

I think relationship counseling may help. It really depends on you and your relationship to this point. My husband was ALWAYS loving and supportive and for some reason, my weight loss threw him for a loop. He's 16 years older and I think the dynamic of our relationship changed after I lost the weight. I guess he didn't know where he fit in, or IF he fit in any more. In counseling, it came out that he was afraid that I wanted a more exciting life than he could offer. (I was running a rock band website and talking regularly to a Hollywood Movie Director as part of it) I think he thought I was looking for someone more exciting. Counseling really helped me understand his fears and assured him that I wasn't settling for him, that I really love him. If you feel the relationship is worth it, you may want to suggest counseling to him.

Wasa hit the nail on the head here. We need to agree to disagree and move on. No one should feel their feelings are hurt. We are not close personal friends. No one is betraying anyone. This is a messageboard and really shouldn't mean that much on a personal level. Sometimes it's best to step back and re-evaluate what's important. And what's said on a messageboard, in the grand scheme of it all, is NOT that important. Move on people, nothing to see here!!!!!

3 meals and two snacks in between for me.

Small bites and CHEW CHEW CHEW!!! I noticed when I'm stressed or rushed that the same thing happens. I actually don't eat when I'm feeling rushed because I know what to anticipate.

FairyFacade is right. Chewing sugar free gum actually causes you to get hungry. Try to stay away from it. Not to mention the risk of accidentally swallowing it isn't worth the effort. Unfortunately, until you get proper restriction, it will be harder to fight those food demons. Try to get in a little more exercise to make up for some "not so great" food choices in the meantime. And yeah...why is healthy food so much more expensive??!! It's a conspiracy!!!!!!

For everyone it's different. I have to exercise or the weight just doesn't come off. When I'm being a good bandster, I work out for about an hour a day a few days a week, doing mostly cardio (treadmill or eliptical) Good restriction....really important. You need to get to a point of good restriction. Don't be stingy with fills. That's what makes the band work. (When I say "don't be stingy" that doesn't mean get filled to the point of being unable to eat. It means work toward good restriction.) Stay away from empty calories. Milk shakes and ice cream go down easy but are REALLY BAD!!! Fruit smoothies, fancy coffee drinks etc are all LOADED with empty calories and fat. Eat real food. If you're living on mushies, you're not letting the band work. Mushies slide down too easily and you end up eating too much. Concentrate on proteins. Make sure you eat your proteins first, fruits and veggies next and carbs last. Chew!!! Chew!!! Chew!!! When I first started band life, my surgeon said for me to count 30 chews before swallowing. It make me look a little OCD but it worked. I was a really fast eater before, now I'm usually the last one at the table. You want to make sure your food is chewed well so you don't get stuck as often. BTW...PB's are NOT scary! Everyone thinks they're like some sort of near death experience. They're not. Food gets stuck and needs to come up. Sometimes it may take a little more work than others but it's not THAT horrible. (To help avoid getting stuck...take small bites and chew well. Also once you first notice the "stuck" feeling, stop eating and take small sips of a warm liquid (hot tea, etc.) and sometimes it will work it's way down on it's own) Those are the major ones for me. Like I said, all are different and everyone has a wealth of knowledge from personal experience. Good Luck!

At one point, I was losing around 5 pounds a week. It was about 2 months after surgery and I was going with about 900 calories a day, high Protein and working out 1 hour of cardio a day for 6 days a week. It lasted for about 2 months until I hit my first plateau. Then I went to about 1-2 pounds a week, (same workout and diet) Now however I'm at a self-imposed 2 month plateau. (I'm being lazy and I know it.)

Personally, I hate the idea that those at goal are not appreciated for their advise and wisdom. You did it! You achieved what we all strive for. I'm not jealous because I know you worked your asses off to get to that point. Jachut, I would be thrilled to be as thin as you! Ugly, my ass! Your avatar should be a symbol to all of us of what we can accomplish. When coming to a forum, everyone has to keep in mind that it takes all kinds and personalities. You need a somewhat thick skin as you may not like what you're told. When you ask for advice on a forum, you'll get it. The point is to share thoughts and ideas. I think its important to remember that those at goal have a wealth of advice they can offer to those still on our journeys.

I think this discussion is interesting and for the most part, a positive method of understanding one another. I do have a concern though about this going (again) to a personal level of focusing on one or more members specifically. I think this thread would be better served if we focus on the "topic" of the thread rather than specific members that may fall into catergories of discussion.

You know, as a person that cried before surgery because I was afraid I was going to die on the table and leave my little boy without a mommy...(yeah, I have a vivid imagination) there was no way in hell I was going to attempt to cheat the band. Let's face it...it wasn't an easy decision to do it. Choosing weight loss surgery is pretty much the final hope and I wasn't going to screw that up. I really wonder what these people are thinking. Don't anyone flame me for saying it but I think there are a lot of banded people out there who really weren't ready for it.

You going through that too? That was me about six months ago. I guess it depends on how much the relationship means to you. I started to understand how my husband felt after being on the other side when I was over 300 pounds. I just started showing him the attention I always wanted to but felt too insecure to. Just little things to let him know that he's the man I want. I don't think you should feel obligated to do anything really. I think for me it was just about me opening up a little and letting my true feelings show.

Wow Kat...that was one WICKED sentence! LOL! My husband owns a psychiatry practice and I always find myself talking to the doctors about weight issues. Depression is a chemical imbalance. It can be worsened by events but basically a person has it or doesn't. Medication can treat the chemical imbalance if you choose that form of treatment (just in case Tom Cruise was interested....LOL) The psychiatrists I've spoken to often say that people may not be "clinically depressed" but instead not be emotionally equipped to handle stressors that others could. For example, some people could handle the loss of a job but someone else could fall into a major tailspin due to it. Technically, that alone doesn't mean "clinical depression" A person like that may get more benefit from counseling from a therapist as to how to handle the event rather than medication. I think too many people are jumping on the "I have depression." train. I have a lot of tough things in my life...a sick child, mentally ill step-children..etc, etc. I know that I'm not "clinically depressed" though. I get upset during specific "events" that happen, like my son being in the hospital, for example. But during the non-event periods, I'm okay. A "clinically depressed" person does not have those "okay" periods. I know I gained weight because I ate as a way of dealing with stress, but that doesn't mean I suffer from depression. It just means I deal with a lot of stress and chose the wrong method of dealing with it. It's so complicated because I have empathy for those who have been through a lot. And although I understand, the reality is that life changes need to be made to get through this. There needs to be enough inner strength to say "I'm not going to use this as an excuse any more. I'm stronger than that. I deserve better than that." Once I started accepting my own value and worth, the motivation followed.

This band journey has been one of the greatest, albeit challenging, experiences of my life. Losing 125 pounds has been life-changing. There are so many changes a person needs to adapt to and they're all not just physical. I think of the idea of being a mentor as a way of sharing all that I've learned in my almost two years of being banded. I'm a 36 year old woman, living in New Jersey. I have a four year old son, who thinks his mommy is beautiful....I LOVE THAT!!! I do work but as a moderator here...I am here almost daily so I promise I will be great support for anyone at the beginning stages of this journey. It's an incredible experience and an opportunity for you to prove to yourself that you CAN be successful at weight loss. Be proud of yourself...

I wrote this someplace before but I can't remember where! LOL!! So I'll say it again as it certainly applies to this thread. Most overweight people spend a good portion of their lives making excuses for why they are overweight. (I'm including myself in this...so no complaining by anyone!) "I eat because I'm stressed. I've experienced some sort of emotional trauma. I'm depressed, I'm angry...whatever" The point is, we can all come up with reasons why we're overweight but the truth is...WE CHOSE TO PUT THE food IN OUR MOUTHS!!! We made the decision not to exercise. This doesn't mean that our reasons may not have been valid, but we made the wrong choice in how to deal with whatever we were faced with. In my not so humble opinion, you can't be successful with the band until you own up to it. You need to say "I did this to myself and I can make the necessary changes." It's all about MY LIFE, MY CHOICES!!! Period. I am responsible for my positive choices, just as I'm responsible for my negative ones. No one made me fat. I did that all by myself. No one will make me thin. I need to do that myself too. There's really not much more to it than that.