123crod

I some times wonder what really is the amount of time to grief. Christmas will be a year since my bother passed away. It was unexpected and very shocking to me. I am really having trouble on having it in the back of my mind day after day. Not understanding why it does not seem to effect my mother and sister-in-law the same as me. Sister-in-law has moved on. Cheri

I think spanking should be the last resort in punishment. When it is done it should be explained why they are getting a spanking and spanked on the butt only with your hand. After spanking love and concern should be shown. Spanking should not be an everyday occurrence reserved for the worst offenses. A spanking should never be hard enough to leave bruises. Slapping in the face should never happen in my opinion only purpose of it is to break the child's spirit, that should never happen. Cheri

Over the last 16 months I went through stages where I could eat shredded lettuce and long periods of time when I would always get stuck. Right know I can. Cheri

Thanks for responding. Do you think it makes a difference that this time you are not doing it all alone. You have the band which tends to help some in ways. I also have lost weight only to slowly gain it back, but since the band I feel as though if I fail this time I really did not put in the effort since I have help with losing and keeping it off, whereas before I was always on my own. Plus I was self pay, and in my family that was a lot of money. I already have clinical depression and it it harder to deal with than the weight, so I told my husband I could not deal with both anymore so I am losing the weight with the knowledge that I have some help now meaning the band. I keep a tight eye on my weight have lost 80lbs so far and would like to lose more, at least 20 more to put me at 150 lbs. Which I have to battle with every pound and it is slow now and even with exercise every night still slow. If I find myself falling into the emotional eating I just return to liquids for a couple of days so I can just take my mind off of all food. But if my scale goes up to 2 lbs and stays there 2 days and I know I have been grazing. I just stop all food and use ready made Protein shakes until I am ready to do it again. I hope my body will let me lose the rest. I am now a year older 50 and feel beter than I have in years. My surgeon does not think I need to lose that I have already exceed the amount they say you could loss with the band. He deems me a success, but like I told him as a women my regular Dr is not going to be happy with 170.4 lbs So it must come of. I do not know why they think it will just stop when you get above 60% of you excess weight. I have seen other people and i am going to do it also. But knowing I spend $12999 I feel I have a resonsibilty that is diiferent this time around. So I could never see myself letting it get past a few pounds this time. Hope you are feeling better? Cheri

Drinking some hot coffee or Tea in the morning helps it loosen some. I have a cup or two before Itake all my pills for the day. Cheri

Drinking some hot coffee or Tea in the morning helps it loosen some. I have a cup or two before Itake all my pills for the day. Cheri

You do not need a butt kicking just a little direction like we all do. So stop being so hard on yourself. I vote we save the butt kicking for cakes and pies and mexican food what do you think? Cheri

I would be happy to talk to you! I am 16 months out and down 80 lbs. I am in Texas too down by Galveston. Feel free to private message me or e-mail me. Cheri

Try dropping your carbs some it helps me not no carb but lower carbs. Cheri

If someone asked me who is really interested and not just wants some more gossip I will tell them. I am not ashamed that I had the surgery but did not tell everybody just close friends and some of my family. Cheri

I agree with the above post very good advice. Try not to watch TV while you eat also. When you want to have a snack that is not on your list have 2 glasses of Water first and then if you can take it eat the cookie. You will not want it after the two glasses of water and if you do it will not be as good as before the water. I am 16 months out and return to liquids for a few days if I get out of control so I can refocus myself. I try to not keep things in my house that will set me off on a carb craze but I have a skinny husband who eats all the time and two grandbabies that need the stuff too, but like Peanut Butter is not allowed in my house at all because although it is good Protein a whole jar does not help at all. When I was first banded I made my husband keep his junk food in his car. I also consider a refrigerator with an alarm did not know they made those till a year ago. I also have been know to just throw stuff away (brand new) if I just can't take it better to lose a couple of dollars than gain a couple of pounds. Cheri

Only way you know is to ask? I have had to say I am sorry about the way I worded somethings along the way too. The only thing I do not say sorry on is my views on God and on drugs. I try not to force those views on others but it might have seen like it along the way. Sorry Cheri

Depression and grief is not that easy to control on your own. I take meds and see a therapists longturn. I spend a lot of time in prayer, and try to stay as close to God as I can. I do not sit around all day doing nothing feeling sorry for myself, I work a fulltime job and watch my two grandbabies twice a week for 8 hours at a time which pushes me to work into the night or on weekends to keep my hours up. I have read hundred of books on the subject some agree with and some I do not. Unless you live my life you do not know what it is like. You just do not wake up one morning and you are all happy and full of joy . . . wish it was that easy. I have a great church family that I am close to, right now I am helping with the little kids practice for Christmas eve service play. We go through seasons of time in our life like there is a time for everything and God has made a time for sadness and for grief as well as happiness and joy. I agree helping others helps you to help yourself. I do try to do that. The purpose of this thread was so people would share the sadness the holdays bring to them. To let it out and not carry it around. You would not have gotta the lapband if you could handle your issues with food. So please do not judge us if we have more than one issue, and count your blessings depression has not visted you and decided not to leave. I would not wish it on my worst enemy. Depression is not just a mental thing but also a chemical inbalance also. Please do not judge us and please people do not stop posting your sad times that hold you back from the holidays. It will help us all. And maybe we can all learn for each other. ansoninc : Sorry I read your post as a negative when it really was not ment that way. I am sorry to make you think I thought you were judging us when you were not. Thank you for your examples you gave us to help us get through this and help other people as well as ourselve. Cheri

I have the flu right now bet you do too. And yes your band can become too tight even after several months happened to me after 8 months and had to have a small unfill of .2ccs. Made all the diference. Keep us posted. Feel better soon. Cheri

May I please ask a question of the posters here how did you let your self gain so much back? I do not say this to be mean, but why did you not stop at 2 or 5 or even 10 lbs. I am asking for my own information as I do not want to fall into this also. It is a possiblity all of of us face. Any advice you can give us that might would have made you stop and get back on track sooner? I have gone up as much as 2 lbs and quickly return to liquids as I suffer from clinical depression and emotional eating is just one cookie away for me. I think the returning to liquids is how I have chosen to cope with the emotional eating. I saw a therapist for 3 years and then on and off since then. I did not see her for an eating disorder but for my depression mostly due to grief and learned hope to use coping skills. Behind every emotional eater is problem that needs to come out. Please do not be offended by my question I would really like to know for myself. I saw a sign today that said inside of me is a skinny person, but I can usually shut her up with a few Cookies. Cheri

Do not get ahead of yourself take it one step at a time. Do not worry what next week will bring just stick with it one day at a time and then one week at a time. No lies tht first month is no fun, (well . . . .mushies were kinda fun) but once you get that first fill so much will change. I really lost all hunger except that evil head and emotional hunger. You are going to do great Ross. A little hunger never kill any of us. You will survive! There are people in the world who would do anything for chicken broth and clean clear liquid everyday. Two days to go!! yahoo!! Cheri

I totally agree with the above post. You need help and that is nothing to be ashamed of. So many of us are emotional eaters but your problem seems even more than that. Like you want to punish yourself. I am no doctor but I have seen a therapist on and off for the past 6 years and think it will help you. Do you go to a support group? That is very important to be around people who are dealing with the things you are, you find out you are not alone. On-line support is great but not the same as in-person. We did not have a support group close to me so I met people on this site in the same area as me and we meet and talk on the phone on a regular basis. It helps so much. I aslo found when food controls me instead of me controlling it I return to protien shakes. I buy the ready made so I do not have to think about food at all for a few days. God bless you. I said a prayer for you. You are not alone. Cheri

I have been married for a little over 30 years and when I had my surgery 16 months ago, I told my skinny little donut eating man that I love that this is my surgery and I am in charge of it and not him unless he wants me to control his food intake too. All has been peaceful!! Cheri

Sometimes I have to go back to liquids for a few days or so to break my focus off of food. I know liquid is not the way of the band but it works for me to refocus when I start that emotional eating. Cheri

I say if you are not going to get the fills why get the band? My Doctor was very slow with fills none at the time of surgery and only ½ cc at each fill as I felt I needed them. I am 16 months out and only have 3.8 cc in a 10cc AP band. Last fill 9 months ago and one unfill of .02cc 4 months ago. So I have not been fill crazy, but needed those fills so lose the weight. The fills are part of the process otherwise why spend the money, just go on willpower? Cheri

So happy everything thing went well for you and that is behind you. You must have a very high tolerance for pain!! Rest and recover. Cheri

Powered Peanut Butter is great and only a few grams of fat but taste so good!! Well worth the price. My friend gave me some for my birthday!!! You can make it whatever thickness you want. Cheri