blustar82

Like so many others, my weight issue started in High School.  Although, looking back at pictures of myself now I'm not sure why they started.  I wasn't nearly as fat as I thought I was.  My self esteem was, of course, non-existent.  I began dating an older man that showed interest in me my junior year and from that point on he consumed me.  He was my first boyfriend, and even though it was a very explosive relationship, he was my first love.  We were together for 9 years, and in those 9 years there was a lot of mental & emotional abuse.  This led to a lot of eating on my part, as I am a very emotional eater.  In those 9 years I gained well over 100 lbs.  I tried leaving my boyfriend several times, but was just not strong enough to handle the threats and couldn't get the thought out of my head that I would never find anyone that would love me again.  Finally in August of last year we were done.  I spent a lot of time healing from that relationship, and yes a lot of eating came along with the healing resulting in additional weight gain.  Leaving me where I am today, obese, unhealthy, and unhappy with myself.  After seeing several TV ads for the lapband surgery I decided to research it to see if it was right for me.  I spent several months checking out different doctors and surgery centers, but none seemed to be right for me. I was discouraged by the lack of help and compassion from the staff at some of these doctors offices.  I had just about given up hope and was about to settle with being obese for the rest of my life, until one of my searches brought up the Bariatric Care Center at St. Joseph's hospital in Orange, CA.  My mom accompanied me to their community lecture in May and their program was by far more superior than the previous ones I had checked into.  The staff actually seemed to care about the patients and they had more in-depth information and help available.  Both my mom & I were very impressed.  I scheduled my first appointment with the surgeon, Dr. Eric Pham, that night.  After my surgical evaluation I felt as if my researching had finally been successful, I'd finally found the right doctor and the right center.  Following the surgical evaluation, my insurance required me to also have a dietary and psychological evaluation before they would approve me for surgery.  In addition to this the Bariatric Care Center also suggested submitting a weight loss attempt record and a personal letter stating why I want this surgery along with my struggles being obese.  Writing that letter was the most difficult task for me.  I had never verbalized or written down my personal problems with my weight, it was quite an emotional experience for me.  But, it felt so good to get it all out.  Once I completed all my evaluations and submitted the extra records and letter the office submitted my case to my insurance for approval.  I expected to wait a while for this, but to my pleasant surprise my approval came back in 2 weeks!  I was ready, finally.My surgery is scheduled for 8/27/09, and I have never been more excited for anything in my entire life like I am to have this surgery.  It is the first day of the rest of my life and I can't wait to get started with it.  I have started going to the support group meetings, which just increases the excitement.  Hearing all the success stories and thinking that soon it will be me telling my story of success.  I have not an ounce of apprehnsion, only excitement to begin this life altering journey.