STARSKY

Where do I start...........I suppose I am known for saying 'I've been fat all my life'.  I've never experienced being slim and have spent my whole life battling my weight and my unhealthy obsession with food.  There is no doubting it, I love food, I look forward to shopping for it, planning my next meal and looking forward to eating my next meal.I never need an excuse to eat !!!  I don't feel I'm unhealthy, as I generally only eat 3 good meals a day, which are low in fat.  I rarely eat crisps but treat myself to snack-size treats after my evening meal.  I suppose my meals are bigger than they are suppose to be and that's where I'm going wrong.  I exercise by playing golf most weekends and occasionally I go for walks but I know that this isn't enough.I tell myself I do not have a metabolism, that's why I'm big......but I know I could eat less and exercise more to help myself..... but cant most people ??I have always carried extra weight but to be honest, it didn't bother me that much when I was younger.  My problems started with my second serious relationship, I was very happy and contented and when I blinked I had gone from 12 stone to 16stone almost overnight.  This then made me unhappy but my boyfriend still loved me !!  Suffice to say that relationship didnt last.For years after I tried every diet on the market and although I managed to lose a stone or two, it always went back on.  Approx. 5 years ago, I thought enough was enough, I was at 17 stone and new I had to do something or I would continue to get bigger.  I was put on Zenical by the Doctor and followed the WW diet for 15 months.  Don't ask me where my will power came from (well it probably had something to do with a new relationship!) but I managed to lose 5.5 stone.  I got down to 12stone 7lbs and felt fantastic. BUT.......the relationship went sour and so did my weight.  So much so, I've put it all back on and some.  Today I weigh 18 stone and although I like my life, I am lonely and would like to be with someone.  I don't feel attractive and know that I need to take some serious action with my weight, if I want any chance of attracting someone.......Which brings to where I am today........For over a year I have thought about Gastric Banding but kept telling myself it's too expensive and the cowards way out !!  This year I have thought about it more and more, as I have found that I am nearly 40yrs old and finding it harder to lose weight.  I decided to start looking for the Internet for help and private doctors who carry out the operation.  I knew I couldn't afford to have it done in this country but I was sceptical about going abroad, as you hear of so many horror stories.I checked out the procedure, to see what it entailed and then looked up all the risks and then...... I stumbled across the LapBand talk forum by chance and I was astonished by the number of people that had had the operation in Belgium with great success.  This has inspired me to ask questions and eventually book my operation for 2nd October 2009. I cant wait to tell you how it all goes but until then, stayed tuned.