BandedMomof2

Hi all, I was banded in January 2009, I have lost nearly 40lbs since then. I feel wonderful and guilty. Here is my story... The band has given me the 40lb weight loss that has eluded me for years!! I have dieted, lost, dieted, gained, you get the picture. Well, I know exactly what I needed to do, but couldn't do it. I worked out 5 times a week for 1 1/2 each day but could only lose about 20lbs. Once I got my band I was SO excited and stuck to the program religiously (40lbs lost!). Then I got the fill to end all. It made me absolutely MISERABLE!! I couldn't get anything down and ate slider foods. I decided to get an unfill, what a relief! I have been afraid to get another fill since I've experienced the freedom of having it unfilled. I am scared I will be tight again and constantly throwing up and running to the bad slider foods. I've been unfilled for 2 months and LOVE the freedom of not fighting with my band (what will and won't go down, will I throw it back up, did I chew enough, etc). I haven't gained anything, in fact have lost one pound. But I want to lose more. I do FANTASTICALLY during the day, and follow my diet to a T (Protein shakes, Water, etc) and even go to the gym religiously still (4-5X a week). It's when I get home at night my demons come out. For some reason I get ravenously hungry and have some sort of "no-no" foods almost every night; and usually after 7:00pm. I have my fill scheduled for Friday, but I am scared to death of having stuck episodes and losing the freedom to eat how and when I want without fear. But I am looking forward to getting "back on track" with my weight loss. Basically, have I been avoiding the fill to keep eating like I used to? Do I really need this fill to kick start my weight loss again and get back on track, or can I do this without a fill and by changing my routine to quit the bad night eating. I'm so confused, please help! Thanks!

Thank you ALL SO MUCH for the great posts and advice, I cannot tell you how much they are appreciated!!!! UPDATE! Since I posted this, I realized that the power to change my bad night habits begin and end with ME! No amount of fill will stop me from eating foods I shouldn't, only my will power can do that. I've always known this, but actually focusing on it and changing the behavior is the hardest. I decided NOT to eat the wrong foods and stick to my LBS diet and GUESS WHAT?? Lost 3 lbs!! :thumbup: I continued going to the gym, drinking my Water and have been using "Slimquick" (LOVE IT by the way). Also eating my Protein and NO bad foods and no eating after 7:00. You guessed it, back to losing. I have also decided to keep my appointment for a fill tomorrow, and I'm going to get 2cc (10cc band). I want to start using the band as a tool, now that I know I CAN do it without it. I'm hoping, at the very least, the 2 day liquid diet will give me another 2-3lb loss and kick start the 2nd half of my weight loss journey. Thanks again all, I will let you know how this fill goes..wish me luck!!!