Carla79

I have struggled with my weight for most of my life.  I began getting chubby as a teen and continued to pack on the pounds every year following.  The birth of my first child got me going in the right direction but two years later and the birth of my TWINS has left me at my highest weight ever.  I started to consider Lapband after I was playing with my kids last fall...they asked me to jump in a pile of leaves...I realized I wanted to but was too embarrased if anyone saw me.  It was then that I realized how much my weight was holding me back from!  Playing with my kids, hiking with my husband, going out on a hot day...there are too many things to say.  So I started to check into it.  It has been an interesting journey .  I have learned a lot about myself.  I never realized how much I centered around food.  never thought of myself as addicted to food ( It's kinda hard just to right that)   I am now 2 1/2 weeks prior to surgery.. I am excited and scared hopefully yet timid.  I am finding it hard to imagine myself at my goal weight for fear that I will disappoint myself.  at the same time I am overjoyed that this will be the tool I need and give me better control .  I want so desperatly to LIVE!  I feel like there is another person inside of me waiting to get out!!!So on a side note...my silly goal...When I get down to my goal weight I want to audition for a community musical.  I know that may sound silly to most people But I haven't done any musicals in years for fear that they would not cast me due to how I look.