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Ok so this might be a bit lengthy, sorry but I really need some advice from those who are not close to the situation. I have been with my boyfriend for over two years. We moved to my hometown about a month ago. I (not we) bought a house, because we couldn’t afford rent. The main reason we moved was because there was more job opportunity for him. He even sold his house. He only has a HS Diploma so I thought that learning a trade or something of that nature would be good for him because he feels he is not college material. We were talking the other day and I finally realized he has no goals in life. He told me “to be alive” was his goal. My brain cannot process this. I have a Masters and have been working my butt off to make money. I have a min. wage job and I freelance graphic design on the side. Having a job in graphic design is a huge goal for me. I am even willing to move again to have it, but he isn’t. Every time I suggest any sort of job to him he says no or gives me some excuse. He even admits to the fact that he is lazy. His normal routine is to go to work, play his xbox until he falls asleep, and then go to work. Rinse and repeat. We have to get into huge arguments for him to take out the trash. The other problem or problems lies with me. I had my surgery at the end of August and have lost almost 60 pounds. So I am becoming happier with myself and really realizing the person I want to become. When me and my boyfriend got together, I was 318, the same as when I had my surgery. I never gained or lost any weight in the time we had been together. About 6 months in, he became very critical of my weight. The one time we had gone to the mall and he walked so far in front of me, I couldn’t keep up. When I asked him why, he said “Everyone was looking at me because I had a fat girlfriend. ” Mind you, my self esteem has been so shot that I just let him treat me that way. I grew up being treated that way and didn’t feel like I deserved anything different. He felt if he made me feel bad about my weight, I would do something about it. (I was having my surgery whether I was with him or not. Both my parents had it, so it left me more inclined to have to do the same) He has since apologized to me several times about our early time together, but I can’t seem to let it go. I feel like if you loved me, why would you treat me that way? I don’t know how to get over it. I do love him, but our goals just do not align, he is lazy and has absolutely no ambition. Lately I feel like I just want to be single and (slightly) relive my 20’s. I’m 26 now. I want a life do over to become the person I have always wanted to be. I am getting more attention from guys and I really want to act on it, but I don’t because I have my boyfriend. Am I just putting off the split that is going to come, or am I being selfish because I want to be single and do my own thing? I mean I really want the clothes I never got to wear and a pair of hooker boots. I want to go out and have fun, because I didn’t really do that in college.

Thank you all for your responses. I guess I just needed some reassurance that I am doing the right thing in getting out of this relationship. I guess I kind of knew the answer all along, just needed a push. As far as my job, I am a bartender, so I also make tips. It pays my bills at the moment. He also pays bills. When I got out of undergrad the economy was in the toilet and no one wanted to hire someone without experience, even if they had a degree. Graphic Design jobs for those without 3+ years experience are hard to find, especially where I live. About my house, rent is anywhere from 800 to 1500 dollars around here. Just rent. My house payment is 360. I can manage that. The only reason I do not have school loans and was able to put a down payment on my house is because my brother passed away a few years ago and I have savings. I would give every penny back in an instant, but it is what it is. I moved back to my hometown because my mother had back surgery. All of my father’s siblings died before the age of 55 and my dad is 60. I have been away for quite a while.

Well I have PEIA, which is one of the worst insurances to have for this surgery. They agreed to pay to take out my band, but would not pay for the revision. So I was self pay. But Dr. Quinlin did talk to them to try and get them to approve it. Honestly that meant a lot to me because no other doctor has tried to help like he did. I am still feeling a bit sore, but overall I feel good. The recovery with my band was easy compared to this. But I would never recommend the band to anyone because of all the problems I had with it.

I am from Clarksburg and Dr. Quinlin did my surgery on Monday (Aug. 26). He removed my band and revised me to gastric. I really like him as a surgeon/doctor. He was really the first doctor to try to help me with all the trouble I was having with my band. My original surgeon left WVU a year after I had my surgery, which left me on my own to find a new one. I then went to see one in Charleston and he didn’t seem very interested to help. Like I said, I really think he is a good doctor. And it makes me feel better that he trained under the doctor that did my parent’s surgeries in the late 90’s.

So far I just want a pair of American Eagle jeans, since I never got to wear them growing up. wore 18 in the 6th grade so I skipped all of the clothes everyone else was wearing. Just hoping I can get them. I am soo short so I am not sure how much I will have to lose to get there.

I just got banded on 8/11 and although I am only a few days out, I feel great. I can't really say I have had any bad days. I was up and walking right after I got out of recovery and didn't even fill the pain meds they gave me at discharge. My cuts still hurt a little but nothing major. I think it is different for everyone. Just go into your surgery with a good attitude and determination to change and everything will be great.

I am getting banded on Aug 11 a week after my 22nd Birthday!

While I do not have Fibromyalgia, I have have been taking Cymbalta for my depression. It is also used to treat Fibromyalgia. I have had depression for years but this is the first medicine I feel that has actually helped me feel better.I use to be constantly tired, but now I feel so much better. ...not sure if that helps at all.

August 11th!! just found out today

thanks everyone. So all of my pre-op stuff went well and I got my date today. I'm pretty excited now. Aug 11 is my surgery date.

yep all of your piercings will be fine. I use to take my tongue ring out for 8hrs for work. So no worries

I think the decision is different for each person and what your surgeon recommends. For me the band seem to be the best option because I am so young and was what my parents thought would be better. Both of my parents and three others in my family have had GBP and some of the problems that come with it were not what I wanted. My mother experienced the nutritional deficiencies and developed anemia as well as hair loss. I think if you can get the same weight loss results without the other problems that is the best option.

Just wanted to say hi. I am 21 and a senior at Concord University in WV. Majoring in Grapahic Design and Studio art. I am also soon to be banded!

I actually had my scope this morning. It is a really good thing to have done just to check that you don't have any ulcers or any other problems.

Hi, just thought I would post one here. I am from Clarksburg and I am hopefully being banded soon at WVU with Dr. Akkary. I have a pre-op appt the 22nd along with a psych eval and a scope. I am also self pay because my insurance is ridiculous.