nellie09

I'm 40 years old, newly divorced and onto a new chapter in my life.  I have two kids and have been the primary caregiver, even though I was married for many years.  I never focused on myself at all and with the new divorce and new chapter, it was time I paid some attention to me.  My journey began on New Year's eve.  I was at work talking to my friend who was banded two years prior.  There was no one there, being the day before New Year's and we were sitting and chatting.  I had many chats with her regarding her journey, but told her that I just couldn't do it.  I was scared of surgery and it wasn't for me.  She said one sentence to me that changed it all and that was that she was scared too, but she WANTED IT BAD ENOUGH.  I went home and thought about things.  I wanted it bad enough.  I sent her a text on New Year's day that said "I decided to take the plunge".  She had no idea what plunge it was, but when we spoke again I filled her in.  She said "baby steps" and not to think about the whole picture and don't let it overwhelm me.  She said take one thing at a time, as there's no rush in this.  I called the first week of January and made an appt for an informational seminar.  The week after the coordinator called to set up an appt with the doc and then for some testing.  I took my time, baby steps as she said.  I did it on my terms and didn't rush faster than was comfortable for me.  I put off the EGD until last, because I was most nervous about it, and she went with me for it which was much needed and appreciated.  My surgery date was made and panic started to set in.  July 8, 2009.  I had a report time of 615 with an O.R. time of 820.  I was the doc's first case.  She called to wish me well and said I would do fine.  I was SO nervous.  I remember getting wheeled in.  The anesthesia doc asked if I was centered on the O.R. table and if my feet were all the way at the bottom.  I replied yes and as I laid back, it's all I remember.  I awoke to a woman asking if I was ok.  Yes, I am just tired I replied.  My hospital stay after was a NIGHTMARE.  I was taken up to my room and the anesthesia wore off.  The nurse was busy and didn't get to me for over an hour and a half.  My mom went and got me ice to wet my mouth because I was so dry I couldn't talk.  I got morphine at 11am and then again at 2pm.  After 2pm I didn't see anyone until the night nurse came in.  I had to take myself to the bathroom which entailed reaching across the back of the bed to pull the plug out of my IV machine.  I was told to walk myself earlier, so I did.  She put a hat to measure my urine, but never came back to empy and it was full.  I received no care at all.  I called my boyfriend and cried.  Cried of pain, lack of care.  He was away and lended much support but unfortunately I had to do something about it.  I walked to the nurse's station and asked for pain meds.  I was told by my nurse she would be right down.  A half hour later I mashed my buzzer and was told she was doing paperwork and would be down shortly.  45 minutes after that (5 hours since my last dose of morphine) she was in.  She remarks immediately "I can't believe you're in this much pain...I should call your doctor".  I told her to go ahead, but give me the pain meds in the mean time.  The night nurse on duty freaked out that I was walking myself, unplugging the IV and such.  She said that's her job and I shouldn't be walking alone on morphine.  She said I can have morphine every hour if I needed, and no one should question when I'm in pain as everyone's pain tolerance is different.  I told her some other small things such as when she put my heart monitor on, she placed it over my largest incision and tapped it hard saying "there you go" as she sent me to the moon and also when she took my blood pressure on the arm that had the IV, forcing blood back into the line and splattering out of my hand, and of course no refill on that ice my mom got me at 11am.  The night nurse reported the goings on to the nurse manager, who came and spoke to me.  She stated no one should be denied pain meds for 5 hours.  I broke down and cried, wanting to go home so badly.  I was beyond neglected and stressed out about it.  I wasn't keen on surgery to begin with, then this.  I finally got sprung and came home the day after.  I'm now 4 days post op and I'm feeling better every day but am still in recovery.  I'm dizzy and lightheaded so I'm calling my doc in the morning.  My incisions are sore and I still have gas in my belly.  I'm up and around though, made dinner for the kids and straightened up a bit.  I'm still sleeping on my la-z-boy because it's most comfortable right now.  Pre-op was 279lbs, size 18 pants and xl top.  Today after the pre-op diet and post op clear liquids, I'm 258.  Goal is to feel healthier.  I consider it a bonus to be anything under 170 and would be thrilled at whatever I land at.