ebits1

I decided to have lapband surgery when my husband and I were having yet another tear-filled talk about my weight problem.  I was talking about the constant struggle I've had since I was 8 years old.  I hated being the biggest kid in my family.  I was always the chubby one, and though my parents intentions may have been good, they were always concerned about my extra weight.  I don't know why, but my sister and brother have both been skinny their whole lives and I got some different DNA.  My step-mom used to put me on diets everytime I stayed with them in the summers.  I would cry at the dinner table because my step-dad would allow everyone else to have seconds but he'd tell me no.  I would binge out on junk food whenever I stayed overnight at a friends house or got some money to go to the store.  Food was my best friend and it helped me feel better for a few minutes while I enjoyed the sweet and salty and savory tastes of my latest indulgence.  My husband can relate, he's always been a bigger person too, but he works physically hard at his job and that helps him keep trim.  He said that when he was a kid he always wished he was more average sized because all his relatives or friends' parents would talk about how he was such a "big" person.  He wasn't fat but he is very tall and broad.  In his teenage years he ate constantly and was always hungry for more.  I guess his dad would berate him for eating junk food too, he knows how much those words can hurt, especially coming from someone who is supposed to love you for you.  My loving husband has a friend who did the Lapband surgery.  He said that it had worked out really well for his friend and it seemed that it would be approved by our insurance.  My husband supported my choice to have it done, he's seen me go off and on so many diets and not see any long term results, I think he was beginning to feel just as frustrated as I was, on my behalf.  During our talk he reminded me of my dream to have children soon, and shared his concern that our pregnancies might not be healthy if I continued to carry the weight.  I just started bawling!  I didn't know that he even thought about kids, but I had a glimpse of what his dreams were for our lives, and it didn't include my health problems.  My weight has given me asthma and so it's really hard for me to exercise, or even walk up the stairs sometimes.  I get out of breath really easily.  The aches and pains in all my joints from head to toe are driving me crazy, I can't sleep because I am sore and can't breath.  We bought a new bed that cost nearly $2000 hoping it would help me sleep and it hasn't.  I am desperate to get this weight off and start living my life and I know that another diet isn't going to do the job.