ifyourstomachoffendsyou

modified Atkins works best for me, too. I'm probably pretty insulin resistant, in fact I am borderline diabetic. But it does get boring, so I'll have a day or two where I'll allow myself a treat. I need another fill. I tested how much meat I could eat before feeling restriction. I did it on purpose because denser Protein is supposed to sit in your pouch longer. Well, I had a half pound hamburger and felt no restriction. I had hoped to feel more after my first fill. So Monday I'll call the nutritionist and get in for another fill. Hopefully it won't take 4 weeks this time. I'd like to get it in next week before school starts. I feel like I'm basically dieting and not able to rely on my band at all.

Janet--OK GF, you win. My DH replaced my battery even though it had one more year on the warranty. Said it shouldn't have gone dead in just 2 hours with only the parking lights on. Bless him. He has also started keeping a calendar on his computer for all the meetings I have to attend that are starting up now that the school year is starting up. I am notorious for forgetting meetings or forgetting I have a conflict when scheduling something. You have every right to your feelings about a move that makes you feel like you're going backwards at your job. You have a routine and a comfort level that were already being disturbed and then car troubles came and food troubles came through no fault of your own (in fact you did what you should and others let you down) and destroyed your routine. I'm so glad you posted about the situation and that you're going to go work off a lot of the frustration. I'm glad you also have some real fun scheduled this weekend. You limited your food foray and stayed within 1800 calories. You threw the Rocky Road away! Wow! Good for you.

Welcome newbies. This is a great site.

Thursday, August 13, 2009 Another Ticket! ADHD Strikes Again. I am so sick of ADHD. All of a sudden I'm leaving my lights on in my car. I always drive with my lights on, day or night, and automatically turn them off when I park. I know people see me easier if my lights are on plus I got sick of forgetting to turn my lights on as it turned dusk while I was driving. Doing it all the time made it part of my routine. But this summer, the lapband thing (including this blog) has taken over my mind. So has Facebook. I haven't been driving as much because I'm not teaching, I can't go shopping or places that cost money because I have no money--at least no extra money. So I'm out of my routine, and have developed a new passion that appears to have hijacked my remaining brain cells--at least the ones that involve driving. So far I've been in an accident that got me a ticket, my grandson asked me why the lights were on after we exited the car, some kind neighbors of the school where I work knocked on the door to tell me my lights were on, and I didn't turn the lights all the way off when I went to Borders to read for an afternoon, and had to call my husband to come jump the car. Twice this week I found myself driving south down 394 to my daughter's when that wasn't where I was going. Today, I didn't notice the Do Not Park signs on the trees at work.They post these when the street cleaner is coming by and I got a parking ticket. Aargh! I'm going broke(er)! I need school to start to get me into a routine so my brain starts functioning again. So I'm cutting back on some of the sites I've been visiting. I've cut back on Facebook. I'm actually getting at this blog and finishing it at a reasonable time and going to bed at a reasonable time. Next week I'll be at school several days to get my room ready and attend inservices. The following week school starts on the 26th. I was at school today with my assistant working on the room as well. While I was there I met with a parent. School is slowly taking over my brain again. You'll probably start getting teaching stories from me now. But one thing remains formost--managing my eating disorder. Its not gone. Its lurking. The band makes it manageable. School will bring its own complications. But I will be back in a routine. Routines really help ADHD people. Till they forget their routines and forget to turn their lights off on their cars. I'm trying to establish a food routine. But I am very aware that it doesn't take much for a change in cirumstance to destroy a routine I've had for years--turning my lights on after I start the car, and turning them off immediately after shutting off the engine. But I can do all things, Through him who strengthens me. I'm in his hands, no matter what my lot, no matter what my circumstance. I can get through the good stuff, I can get through the bad stuff. I know the secret to being content is knowing he'll give me the strength to get through multiple ADHD moments, tickets, potential job loss, good food days, and bad food days. I got a ticket today. I didn't overeat.

Thursday, August 13, 2009 Another Ticket! ADHD Strikes Again. I am so sick of ADHD. All of a sudden I'm leaving my lights on in my car. I always drive with my lights on, day or night, and automatically turn them off when I park. I know people see me easier if my lights are on plus I got sick of forgetting to turn my lights on as it turned dusk while I was driving. Doing it all the time made it part of my routine. But this summer, the lapband thing (including this blog) has taken over my mind. So has Facebook. I haven't been driving as much because I'm not teaching, I can't go shopping or places that cost money because I have no money--at least no extra money. So I'm out of my routine, and have developed a new passion that appears to have hijacked my remaining brain cells--at least the ones that involve driving. So far I've been in an accident that got me a ticket, my grandson asked me why the lights were on after we exited the car, some kind neighbors of the school where I work knocked on the door to tell me my lights were on, and I didn't turn the lights all the way off when I went to Borders to read for an afternoon, and had to call my husband to come jump the car. Twice this week I found myself driving south down 394 to my daughter's when that wasn't where I was going. Today, I didn't notice the Do Not Park signs on the trees at work.They post these when the street cleaner is coming by and I got a parking ticket. Aargh! I'm going broke(er)! I need school to start to get me into a routine so my brain starts functioning again. So I'm cutting back on some of the sites I've been visiting. I've cut back on Facebook. I'm actually getting at this blog and finishing it at a reasonable time and going to bed at a reasonable time. Next week I'll be at school several days to get my room ready and attend inservices. The following week school starts on the 26th. I was at school today with my assistant working on the room as well. While I was there I met with a parent. School is slowly taking over my brain again. You'll probably start getting teaching stories from me now. But one thing remains formost--managing my eating disorder. Its not gone. Its lurking. The band makes it manageable. School will bring its own complications. But I will be back in a routine. Routines really help ADHD people. Till they forget their routines and forget to turn their lights off on their cars. I'm trying to establish a food routine. But I am very aware that it doesn't take much for a change in cirumstance to destroy a routine I've had for years--turning my lights on after I start the car, and turning them off immediately after shutting off the engine. But I can do all things, Through him who strengthens me. I'm in his hands, no matter what my lot, no matter what my circumstance. I can get through the good stuff, I can get through the bad stuff. I know the secret to being content is knowing he'll give me the strength to get through multiple ADHD moments, tickets, potential job loss, good food days, and bad food days. I got a ticket today. I didn't overeat.

You guys are not going to believe this. I already wrote about it in my blog so I'm copying part of it here http://ifyourstomachoffendsyoutieitoff.blogger.com Thursday, August 13, 2009 Another Ticket! ADHD Strikes Again. I am so sick of ADHD. All of a sudden I'm leaving my lights on in my car. I always drive with my lights on, day or night, and automatically turn them off when I park. I know people see me easier if my lights are on plus I got sick of forgetting to turn my lights on as it turned dusk while I was driving. Doing it all the time made it part of my routine. But this summer, the lapband thing (including this blog) has taken over my mind. So has Facebook. I haven't been driving as much because I'm not teaching, I can't go shopping or places that cost money because I have no money--at least no extra money. So I'm out of my routine, and have developed a new passion that appears to have hijacked my remaining brain cells--at least the ones that involve driving. So far I've been in an accident that got me a ticket, my grandson asked me why the lights were on after we exited the car, some kind neighbors of the school where I work knocked on the door to tell me my lights were on, and I didn't turn the lights all the way off when I went to Borders to read for an afternoon, and had to call my husband to come jump the car. Twice this week I found myself driving south down 394 to my daughter's when that wasn't where I was going. Today, I didn't notice the Do Not Park signs on the trees at work.They post these when the street cleaner is coming by and I got a parking ticket. Aargh! I'm going broke(er)! I need school to start to get me into a routine so my brain starts functioning again. LOL. I am not alone. But I think I win!

I had no more restriction and wasn't losing so I cut almost all carbs and ate high density protein (meat, mostly) and a protein shake. Only some veggies and flax seed and fish oil and vitamins to supplement. Lost 3 lbs in 3 days. Then went to family reunion, gained some back, went back on protein and immediately lost it. Still sticking to high protein and am continuing to lose. Not hungry eaither.

I am 5'9" starting weight 237. I'm down to 204 was banded June 18. I really watch what I eat since I don't yet have a lot of restriction. I stick to high protein before adding a few veggies and fruit and complex carbs. No crap hardly unless I plan for it if I know I'm going to a special event. You can check out my story at http://ifyourstomachoffendsyoutieitoff.blogger.com

Congrats Corliss on everything.

Great job Astera.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009 In His Time Today I had my lapband fill. It was a fascinating experience. All the people waiting for a fill chatted about their experiences in the waiting room. One by one we were called into a room where we laid down under a floroscope. When my turn came, the Dr. looked for my incision, swabbed the area, and felt for the port. He took this cool device invented by someone at UIC (waiting broader distribution) pressed it to my stomach. It let out a poof of air and injected lidocaine without needles and without pain over the area. Its so cool. Its used before IV's are inserted, before shots are given, before surface cuts are stitched. After the lidocaine the doctor inserts a needle through which the solution can be injected into the band. He had no trouble finding the port. I could feel the band puff up. Then I had to start drinking the barium drink. He watched the barium go through and adjusted the fill accordingly. When he was satisfied it was just right I was helped down and was done. Except the picture from the floroscope was still there. So I asked him to explain it. He showed me the esophagus with the new pouch at it's base, barely wider than the esophagus. He showed me the shadow of the band and how narrow the opening was to let the barium through to the old stomach. I could see the squirts of barium curling into the old stomach. Pretty actually. I was amazed at how small the opening between the stomachs was. Its obvious I'm not going to be able to get much through that narrow tunnel. I'm going to really have to take tiny bites and chew things to death. Today and tomorrow I'm just having liquids and then I'll be adding solids. This Dr. was not my surgeon. He handled patients from all the surgeons. This was his specialty and he was running an assembly line. Not everyone is so blessed. Some have surgeons who do the fill themselves and can't find the port and refuse to use floroscopes or don't have them available. That makes it hard to get the fill just right. So they inject minute amounts at a time so that it takes months and months before the patient begins to feel restriction. Its almost like torture for these desperate patients. I'm really blessed to have been sent by my HMO to a top notch facility and doctors. I'm glad I've found such a good support group on lapbandtalk. I"m glad I spent so many years learning about addiction, ADHD, and eating disorders. I'm glad for my experience in Alanon, and OA, and group and individual therapy. My chances of success with the lapband are pretty good because of the self-knowledge I gained as well as the great support I have from my providers and other bandsters. I really feel good about getting the band. I have this sense of peace about it, and this feeling that I'm being blessed through it--not just with weight loss. I've never before pulled all the threads of my disease out of the woven fabric they'd created in my life and examined them and the pattern they'd created all in one place. Getting the band, seeing all these threads, and recording how they're intertwined has given me enormous relief. I rejected shame and its power over me. The power to make me feel paralyzed to do anything about my eating disorder. I took a powerful step when I decided to get the band and jumped through all the hoops I needed to jump through to qualify for the band. I stuck to it for over a year. For an ADHD person, that was a major undertaking. I actually gained a few pounds in order to have a high enough BMI which, combined with my co-morbidities, qualified me for the surgery. Then I had to lose that weight and keep it off as part of my requirement. I had to attend eight months of nutrition classes where I knew more of the answers than anyone but the nutritionist. I had to deal with the insurance company and liase between them, my regular Dr. and clinic, and UIC. Details like that drive me pretty crazy, but I did it. I took back the power this disease took away from me. I think it all happened in God's time. All the other things I've been through and dealt with have led to this time when an effective tool has been made available at a time when I actually have the time to deal with the disease. Summer school was canceled freeing me up to have the June surgery with the rest of the summer to deal with recovery. I had the time to write this blog. I had the time to explore lapbandtalk. I had the time to start to heal some of my physical limitations, figuiring out how to use the incline board to relieve the pressure in my neck that was limiting my ability to walk any distance. (It was also making it more and more difficult to teach.) I can now swing my arms while I walk and do not experience burning neck pain while walking. I believe I was sent to the right doctor, at the right hospital, for the most helpful tool, at exactly the right time. I don't have any doubt who was behind all that.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009 Living With Uncertainty I am gearing myself up for a possible job change. I was hoping to be able to not have any changes in my job or the way I do things, but that may not be possible. My school is having financial difficulties, which, if they survive the next year or two, could be a turning point for the school. If they survive. My services as a supplemental instructor for reading and math are paid for by No Child Left Behind. I actually work for a vendor who is paid for by Chicago Public Schools. Next year the system will totally change. CPS is hiring a vendor to provide services to all the private and parochial schools. They do not have to hire me. My school will have to lobby hard to keep me but there's no guarantee. So, I'm going to have to polish up a resume, just in case. Even worse, I think I'm going to have to start taking more post graduate classes and get a reading specialist endorsement on my certificate or a master's degree. Neither of which will make me a better teacher. I'm not into titles or initials behind my name. I have no desire to take any more classes ever again in my life. I like seminars and training in things that interest me and I know will help me be a more effective teacher in an area in which I feel I need refreshing or am not accomplishing my goals. My ADHD makes the thought of having to focus my attention on a boring textbook, or a boring professor, or having to write in a formulaic style and deal with footnotes and bibliographies in this crazy information inflated technobabble world, a nightmare. I'm scared and I'm mad. I'm 57. Teaching is not easy. Especially at-risk kids with academic needs on the South Side of Chicago. This economy bites. My husband took early retirement when he could no longer get employment. I was hoping he would keep working and I would retire at 62. Ain't gonna happen. According to my brother in today's world we all have to think as if we were 10 years younger than what we are. Hard to do when R&R for me does not mean rest and relaxation, it means repairs and replacements. I've gone through major surgery on my neck to relieve pressure on two herniated discs and restore function to my right side. I still have considerable trouble with my neck. I've had shoulder repair, double knee replacements,, and a hysterectomy to stop me from bleeding to death. And now I've had lap-band surgery. Compared to my other surgeries it was relatively minor. But its impact is just a great. I thought my co-morbidities combined with my osteo-arthritis were going to force me to go on disability possibly even before the age of 62. Now, I think I may choose to go into another field rather than try to keep teaching till the age of 67 when I'll be able to collect Social Security. But I do think my body will be able to keep working (although I'm not so sure about my mind.) I don't know where God is leading me. So far he's taken very good care of me. I have to trust him to lead me in the right direction with my job. I am content no matter what my circumstance, I am content no matter what my lot I know what it means to live in want or have plenty, I know the the meaning of being content. Is I can do all things through him who strengthens me. Yes I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009 Living With Uncertainty I am gearing myself up for a possible job change. I was hoping to be able to not have any changes in my job or the way I do things, but that may not be possible. My school is having financial difficulties, which, if they survive the next year or two, could be a turning point for the school. If they survive. My services as a supplemental instructor for reading and math are paid for by No Child Left Behind. I actually work for a vendor who is paid for by Chicago Public Schools. Next year the system will totally change. CPS is hiring a vendor to provide services to all the private and parochial schools. They do not have to hire me. My school will have to lobby hard to keep me but there's no guarantee. So, I'm going to have to polish up a resume, just in case. Even worse, I think I'm going to have to start taking more post graduate classes and get a reading specialist endorsement on my certificate or a master's degree. Neither of which will make me a better teacher. I'm not into titles or initials behind my name. I have no desire to take any more classes ever again in my life. I like seminars and training in things that interest me and I know will help me be a more effective teacher in an area in which I feel I need refreshing or am not accomplishing my goals. My ADHD makes the thought of having to focus my attention on a boring textbook, or a boring professor, or having to write in a formulaic style and deal with footnotes and bibliographies in this crazy information inflated technobabble world, a nightmare. I'm scared and I'm mad. I'm 57. Teaching is not easy. Especially at-risk kids with academic needs on the South Side of Chicago. This economy bites. My husband took early retirement when he could no longer get employment. I was hoping he would keep working and I would retire at 62. Ain't gonna happen. According to my brother in today's world we all have to think as if we were 10 years younger than what we are. Hard to do when R&R for me does not mean rest and relaxation, it means repairs and replacements. I've gone through major surgery on my neck to relieve pressure on two herniated discs and restore function to my right side. I still have considerable trouble with my neck. I've had shoulder repair, double knee replacements,, and a hysterectomy to stop me from bleeding to death. And now I've had lap-band surgery. Compared to my other surgeries it was relatively minor. But its impact is just a great. I thought my co-morbidities combined with my osteo-arthritis were going to force me to go on disability possibly even before the age of 62. Now, I think I may choose to go into another field rather than try to keep teaching till the age of 67 when I'll be able to collect Social Security. But I do think my body will be able to keep working (although I'm not so sure about my mind.) I don't know where God is leading me. So far he's taken very good care of me. I have to trust him to lead me in the right direction with my job. I am content no matter what my circumstance, I am content no matter what my lot I know what it means to live in want or have plenty, I know the the meaning of being content. Is I can do all things through him who strengthens me. Yes I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Laura, so happy for your loss, (pun intended) but sorry about your dad. Hopefully, they'll get everything under control, and get your daddy back on his feet again. Julie, hope you get your strength back soon. Good on all of you who are getting your food on track and your butts in gear.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009 In His Time Today I had my lapband fill. It was a fascinating experience. All the people waiting for a fill chatted about their experiences in the waiting room. One by one we were called into a room where we laid down under a floroscope. When my turn came, the Dr. looked for my incision, swabbed the area, and felt for the port. He took this cool device invented by someone at UIC (waiting broader distribution) pressed it to my stomach. It let out a poof of air and injected lidocaine without needles and without pain over the area. Its so cool. Its used before IV's are inserted, before shots are given, before surface cuts are stitched. After the lidocaine the doctor inserts a needle through which the solution can be injected into the band. He had no trouble finding the port. I could feel the band puff up. Then I had to start drinking the barium drink. He watched the barium go through and adjusted the fill accordingly. When he was satisfied it was just right I was helped down and was done. Except the picture from the floroscope was still there. So I asked him to explain it. He showed me the esophagus with the new pouch at it's base, barely wider than the esophagus. He showed me the shadow of the band and how narrow the opening was to let the barium through to the old stomach. I could see the squirts of barium curling into the old stomach. Pretty actually. I was amazed at how small the opening between the stomachs was. Its obvious I'm not going to be able to get much through that narrow tunnel. I'm going to really have to take tiny bites and chew things to death. Today and tomorrow I'm just having liquids and then I'll be adding solids. This Dr. was not my surgeon. He handled patients from all the surgeons. This was his specialty and he was running an assembly line. Not everyone is so blessed. Some have surgeons who do the fill themselves and can't find the port and refuse to use floroscopes or don't have them available. That makes it hard to get the fill just right. So they inject minute amounts at a time so that it takes months and months before the patient begins to feel restriction. Its almost like torture for these desperate patients. I'm really blessed to have been sent by my HMO to a top notch facility and doctors. I'm glad I've found such a good support group on lapbandtalk. I"m glad I spent so many years learning about addiction, ADHD, and eating disorders. I'm glad for my experience in Alanon, and OA, and group and individual therapy. My chances of success with the lapband are pretty good because of the self-knowledge I gained as well as the great support I have from my providers and other bandsters. I really feel good about getting the band. I have this sense of peace about it, and this feeling that I'm being blessed through it--not just with weight loss. I've never before pulled all the threads of my disease out of the woven fabric they'd created in my life and examined them and the pattern they'd created all in one place. Getting the band, seeing all these threads, and recording how they're intertwined has given me enormous relief. I rejected shame and its power over me. The power to make me feel paralyzed to do anything about my eating disorder. I took a powerful step when I decided to get the band and jumped through all the hoops I needed to jump through to qualify for the band. I stuck to it for over a year. For an ADHD person, that was a major undertaking. I actually gained a few pounds in order to have a high enough BMI which, combined with my co-morbidities, qualified me for the surgery. Then I had to lose that weight and keep it off as part of my requirement. I had to attend eight months of nutrition classes where I knew more of the answers than anyone but the nutritionist. I had to deal with the insurance company and liase between them, my regular Dr. and clinic, and UIC. Details like that drive me pretty crazy, but I did it. I took back the power this disease took away from me. I think it all happened in God's time. All the other things I've been through and dealt with have led to this time when an effective tool has been made available at a time when I actually have the time to deal with the disease. Summer school was canceled freeing me up to have the June surgery with the rest of the summer to deal with recovery. I had the time to write this blog. I had the time to explore lapbandtalk. I had the time to start to heal some of my physical limitations, figuiring out how to use the incline board to relieve the pressure in my neck that was limiting my ability to walk any distance. (It was also making it more and more difficult to teach.) I can now swing my arms while I walk and do not experience burning neck pain while walking. I believe I was sent to the right doctor, at the right hospital, for the most helpful tool, at exactly the right time. I don't have any doubt who was behind all that.

You know, I have no idea how many Ccs my band is or how many were put in. I totally forgot to ask. I am at University of Illinois Chicago which is what my HMO requires, so everything is very up to the minute including my surgery only requiring 1 incision. My surgeon had just gotten started with that option. Apparantly, because of my lower BMI (I think) I qualified. Everybody at that hospital has the fill done the same way. There's no guesswork. We line up in the waiting room, go in, lay down under the floroscope, get lidocained, get the needle put in and start drinking the barium while he fiddles with the amount. None of the regular Drs. are there, this is a guy who specializes in just this one thing, all day long as far as I can tell.

My proteinfest paid off. I lost lbs before my family reunion on protein, gained some at the reunion (mostly water because because of salt content) and immediately lost it back on protein the last two days. I had my first fill this morning. Fascinating. Someone at UIC invented a device for injecting lidocaine without a needle. The Dr. presses the device against your stomach, it poufs, and the site is numb. I have only one incision and the port is only an inch below it. I could feel the band expanding, then I had to keep swallowing the barium while he made adjustments. Afterwards I looked at the picture of my stomach and he showed me the esophagus, the pouch-which wasn't much wider than the esophogus, then the extremely narrow opening between the pouch and the stomach, and the barium squirts into the old stomach. Very cool! I could really see how I'm going to have to go back to very small bites and chewing food to death. Liquids, of course, for the next day or two. I think the fill should make a difference right away.

Hi guys, I haven't had a lot of time to do more than read your posts. I appreciate each one of you. Everyone brings something to the table. Humor, honesty, healing, headaches (real and PIA types). My proteinfest paid off. I lost lbs before my family reunion on Protein, gained some at the reunion (mostly Water because because of salt content) and immediately lost it back on protein the last two days. I had my first fill this morning. Fascinating. Someone at UIC invented a device for injecting lidocaine without a needle. The Dr. presses the device against your stomach, it poufs, and the site is numb. I have only one incision and the port is only an inch below it. I could feel the band expanding, then I had to keep swallowing the barium while he made adjustments. Afterwards I looked at the picture of my stomach and he showed me the esophagus, the pouch-which wasn't much wider than the esophogus, then the extremely narrow opening between the pouch and the stomach, and the barium squirts into the old stomach. Very cool! I could really see how I'm going to have to go back to very small bites and chewing food to death. liquids, of course, for the next day or two. I think the fill should make a difference right away.

Phyll--I thought of one more exercise for the knees that I did before and after surgery. Stand holding on to counter or back of chair. Squat just a little. Bend your knees only a few inches and hold. Keep your back straight. Go down very slowly and come up very slowly. Gradually increase the amount of time you hold the squat. Do throughout the day.

This is what I did. It might or might not work for you. I had stopped losing while waiting for my first fill (which will be Tues.) I went back to a very high protein almost no carb diet. In 3 days I lost 3 lbs. I could actually feel my band again. High, denser proteins (solid meats) have a much harder time getting through the band. You feel full longer. The fewer carbs the less you store as fat. It can kick start your weight loss again. When you do add carbs make sure they are complex carbs with protein in them. Go with whole grain. Only tiny amounts of things like potatoes and bread, white rice, etc. This works but gets boring. If you do the high protein to lose a few lbs. then do maintenance variety then high protein, you may be able to lose weight while waiting for your next fill. A lot of people can't get a lot of exercise. About all I can do is walk. I don't go very fast. I have major spine problems and I have double knee replacements. My knees work much better than they used to. I can do a little swimming and water walking. I have to be very careful of my neck. I also sit on a little bench to garden or I sit or lay in the grass to weed. Getting up is the worst cause I have to roll onto my knees, and you know kneeling is very uncomfortable with fake knees. I, too, am 206 lbs. I've lost 31 lbs. I had to talk to my husband about what I needed from him. I was prepared to eat separately from him and to no longer be around him when he was snacking. He chose to give up snacking around me because he didn't want to spend his evenings alone. You can do this. Its not for wimps but it is doable. You can e-mail me at cherifl@comcast.net.

Sunday, August 9, 2009 Food, Fun and Family. Done Right. Had a great time with my relatives Friday and Saturday. I think two things keep my extended family relatively close. One is faith in God, even though we have some variances in worship style and Biblical interpretation. We choose to emphasize the oneness in faith rather than the differences. The other is our love of children. My youngest sister's kids are not yet grown, and my other siblings kids are almost grown or young singles, or married with very young children so our family reunions have never been without young children and young people. We are tall people and noisy. Especially when the adults (and semi-adults) are playing Mafia late at night, or multi-generational whiffle ball in the early evening. Without any prompting, whenever a little kid is up at bat, things never seem to go right in the infield. Balls get dropped, throws go the wrong way, and somehow that child always makes it to first base. Those in the bleachers supervise the children of the adults in the field. Competition among the adults, however, is cutthroat. Even my 80 year old father plays. Throughout the reunion little ones are swept off their feet and find themselves looking down on the world, often from much higher than six feet. They are loved on, tickled, played with, passed around, comforted and kept safe by many hands. We catch up on each other's lives--the good news and the bad news. We share our faith, how God is working in our lives. Food is a constant. We never ran out at this reunion, though we did have to run out for toilet paper. I lost three lbs. the three days before the reunion. I put 3 back on over the 2 days, some of which was from all the salt in the foods, but today I am right back on my proteinfest without any problems and am not hungry. A lot of the food was what bandsters call slider food--dips, condiments, high fat cookies and cakes with frosting and filling. These are foods that slide through the donut hole between the new pouch and the old stomach. I didn't pig out on them, but I ate them. I wasn't going to make myself miserable staring at food I couldn't have. After my fill on Tuesday it will become harder to eat these. I hope. There is a huge difference between Dr.s and how much they fill in the band at a time. There is a difference between how long they'll make the patient wait between fills as well. I read a post from a woman today whose Dr. fills only a little and makes her wait 2 months between fills. She was ready to give up. Her husband was also giving her a hard time about "eating so little." I'm hoping my Dr. is a little more aggressive than that and I'm grateful that my husband is much more cooperative and understanding. I look forward to our next reunion. The Lord willing, I think it'll be even easier. We only seem to do this about once a year, because we come from all over the USA. Maybe by then I'll have reached the sweet spot where the the band is just right to stop me from overeating and the lifestyle change has become automatic. Food, fun, and family. Done right. Two more weeks and school starts. More on that tomorrow. God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.

Sunday, August 9, 2009 Food, Fun and Family. Done Right. Had a great time with my relatives Friday and Saturday. I think two things keep my extended family relatively close. One is faith in God, even though we have some variances in worship style and Biblical interpretation. We choose to emphasize the oneness in faith rather than the differences. The other is our love of children. My youngest sister's kids are not yet grown, and my other siblings kids are almost grown or young singles, or married with very young children so our family reunions have never been without young children and young people. We are tall people and noisy. Especially when the adults (and semi-adults) are playing Mafia late at night, or multi-generational whiffle ball in the early evening. Without any prompting, whenever a little kid is up at bat, things never seem to go right in the infield. Balls get dropped, throws go the wrong way, and somehow that child always makes it to first base. Those in the bleachers supervise the children of the adults in the field. Competition among the adults, however, is cutthroat. Even my 80 year old father plays. Throughout the reunion little ones are swept off their feet and find themselves looking down on the world, often from much higher than six feet. They are loved on, tickled, played with, passed around, comforted and kept safe by many hands. We catch up on each other's lives--the good news and the bad news. We share our faith, how God is working in our lives. Food is a constant. We never ran out at this reunion, though we did have to run out for toilet paper. I lost three lbs. the three days before the reunion. I put 3 back on over the 2 days, some of which was from all the salt in the foods, but today I am right back on my proteinfest without any problems and am not hungry. A lot of the food was what bandsters call slider food--dips, condiments, high fat cookies and cakes with frosting and filling. These are foods that slide through the donut hole between the new pouch and the old stomach. I didn't pig out on them, but I ate them. I wasn't going to make myself miserable staring at food I couldn't have. After my fill on Tuesday it will become harder to eat these. I hope. There is a huge difference between Dr.s and how much they fill in the band at a time. There is a difference between how long they'll make the patient wait between fills as well. I read a post from a woman today whose Dr. fills only a little and makes her wait 2 months between fills. She was ready to give up. Her husband was also giving her a hard time about "eating so little." I'm hoping my Dr. is a little more aggressive than that and I'm grateful that my husband is much more cooperative and understanding. I look forward to our next reunion. The Lord willing, I think it'll be even easier. We only seem to do this about once a year, because we come from all over the USA. Maybe by then I'll have reached the sweet spot where the the band is just right to stop me from overeating and the lifestyle change has become automatic. Food, fun, and family. Done right. Two more weeks and school starts. More on that tomorrow. God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.

Glammaw, I want to add one thing to the response I made on another thread. You sound like you suffer from depression. Part of surrendering to God is admitting you have it and getting help and taking meds. I had to do it at various times in my life. The band was also a way to surrender to God. We Christian women often choose to be victims. God never intended that.

A girl needs to take care of herself. I suggest you read the book Codependent No More by Melodie Beattie or cruise the internet for articles and support on codependency. Your food issues as well as your relationship issues and ability to stand up to a surgeon or change Drs. will all improve when you learn to take care of yourself. Ask your DH if he wants you to die, or if he wants you totally dependent on him because of your disabilities. Ask yourself if you love yourself enough to do what you have to do to remove food as a barrier between yourself and God. Ask yourself if you really believe that God loves you so much that he wants the best for you. When I went through a really terrible time in my life I used to say to myself, "I am somebody, I am worthwhile, I am somebody, I am God's child." Believe it and receive it.