ifyourstomachoffendsyou

No way I can keep up with all the posts, but Laura I want to say you're really special and you need to be there for your mom even more than your dad. He's focused on himself right now and what he wants, quite understandably, but your mom is the one who needs the support. I'm glad you dropped everything to go. Your son will be fine and you're setting him a great example on the importance of family.

Charlene, don't know the details about band being removed other than that it was an emergency necessity. Hi everyone. Gotta go to bed.

My nutritionist told me to take lots of Calcium as well as my regular Vitamin to prevent hair and nail loss. She also stressed the Protein. Janet, sorry about the break-in. Great, I never heard of someone wearing a brace to bed after knee replacement. What reason did your Dr. give? I would think it would slow down recovery as you want to move it as much as possible.

Went to 125th Anniversary celebration of Roseland Christian School yesterday. Sang in the gospel choir and led the congregation in a song as an alto in a women's trio. Great speaker, great music. The 5th grade girls did a praise dance that was beautiful. I had to wear a black bottom and bright top for the choir. I wore form fitting low rise charcoal pants and a form fitting sweet-heart necked top. I couldn't believe it fit and I looked good. I had to wear an old strapless bra I never thought I'd fit in again. Then I went straight to my 40th class reunion. Fun in a different sort of way. However, hardly anybody I ever hung out with was there. I was not exactly Miss Popularity back in high school. However, three people I'm friends with on Facebook (though I never hung out with them in high school) did come up and mention how much they enjoy my blog. One of them is having LAP-BAND® himself in December. His wife had a band which had to be removed and now she has a sleeve. She looked great. Like me, it was only 70 lbs but it was killing her emotionally as well as physically. I did my 2 Protein shakes and nothing else so that I could eat normally at the banquet. By which I do not mean I ate the way I used to. But I ate some of everything served that I liked and went ahead and drank punch, Water, and coffee while I ate, took tiny bites, and thoroughly enjoyed my food. No weight gain this morning so I must have done well. However, I will walk again today (once it warms up, brrrr) and will really watch my food as well. I'm going to tell the Dr. on my next fill that I want it filled to point where the food squeaks on its way through. I have no desire to ever go back to the old me.

We've all been there. The band is not a miracle cure. Its a tool. It will work better if you follow the food protocol. For most of us that means don't drink for 1/2 hr. before, during, or after meals. Eat mostly protein--denser the better--and then add veggies, then small amount of carbs. In between fills we do end up dieting the old-fashioned way--willpower, which as we all know, lasts only for so long. I tried to just not gain until I got my fills. I allowed myself and still allow myself treats, but I plan for them and do without other stuff. It's tough but you can do it. Keep coming back for encouragement. No one here will beat you up when you get off track. We've all been there. We know this disease is powerful and cunning. Although I do not keep a food journal because of my ADHD, many people do. Until you get to your sweet spot, you may want to try that. I know that's what Janet recommends. I've lost 50 since my June 18 surgery and a lot of that was without much restriction. I have another fill scheduled Oct. 27. That might be my last fill as I only have 20 more lbs to go. I still have some restriction from my last fill as long as I follow the protocol. If I grease and sauce things up, eat high fat carbs, or drink with meals I can eat almost without restriction. I choose most of the time not to do that except on special occasions or special events. I also started a blog for me to deal with all the accompanying issues that surround food addiction. I think writing about all my issues really helped me deal with the addiction side, the head hunger. If you want to follow my journey you can check out IF YOUR STOMACH OFFENDS YOU, TIE IT OFF We talk about all kinds of issues on this thread, because life doesn't stop for us to deal with our food issues. Having a safe place to go can really help you deal with the food.

Laura, my heart goes out to you. This is going to be more than you can handle in many ways. God will carry you through it if you let him. Great, glad you're doing so well. Charlene, think twice before you loosen your band again. You may be craving comfort food to medicate your pain. I am on an anti-inflammatory twice a day because of my arthritis. Since my hiatal hernia was repaired when they put in the band, I have no trouble with the anti-inflammatory. Ask your Dr. Pain needs to be managed or it will drive you back into the food.

My surgeon automatically repairs hiatal hernias when he puts in the band. Gets permission to do it ahead of time. Totally eliminated my reflux. Personally, if I had that much trouble with the band, I would investigate something less dangerous for me.

50 lbs. 20 to go.

Hi everyone. I'm reading all your posts. Hard to keep up. Our lives are so busy. The needs of friends and family can be overwhelming. Especially when there are decisions to be made. I've lost 50 lbs. Got my high school reunion this weekend. Laura, sorry about your dad. Hope it isn't cancer. I have to tell you, I never regretted my hyst. I was maybe 47 when I had mine. My fibroid was the size of a grapefruit. My libido actually increased afterwards. Janet, glad you're back. Great pics. Apples, glad you're back. I like the part-time work idea. I would go crazy stuck on a farm 15 miles from anything. I love working and I love teaching. There's always parts of my job I hate, of course, and I'm working an extra period after school to get enough contacts with the kids to keep my program funded, so that's harder this year. I also cut my assistant to 2 days a week and there are no other teachers in the basement so its a little lonely when it comes to adults. Hope Greats doing well. Charlene, wierd with the weather thing. Julie, hugs. Phyll-raw oysters-eeuw. Not a shellfish person, but I have learned to like fish. I like it dusted with flour and pan-fried in olive oil spray with lots of seasonings and lemon sprinkled over it. Wall-eye, orange roughy, tilapia, salmon. I eat tuna straight from the can. Never been fond of tuna salad. We got the drain tile in the basement, now we have to get the furnace fixed. Next summer, the roof. By the time we have this house all repaired I'll be in so much debt I'll never be able to retire. If my teaching job falls apart, I don't know what I'll do. There's a glut of teachers on the Chicago market. There are schools where I could make pretty good money subbing, but I don't know what I'd do about insurance. The same with private tutoring. If my husband were more of a kid person I'd consider foster care. There's a huge need for good foster care in this area. I love writing. Wish I could make a decent living at it. I've loved writing my blog though I've only time for a couple of posts a week. Keep the faith everyone. Work the band.

Julie, I'm so sorry for your pain. Great--prayers on the surgery. I went dancing last Friday. Knees did not hurt afterward. When I know I'm going to be eating at a special event or in difficult situations, I give myself permission to eat more and make it part of my plan. I prepare for it by only having a Protein shake for two of my meals. I'm careful to stick rigidly to the band protocol the day or days after. That way I have nothing to feel guilty about or to overeat over. I have to do that a lot on weekends when most of my opportunities to overeat occur. By having a plan I'm able to relax and enjoy my food as well as the event. I did that Friday night when I went to a 50th celebration of my college that was held in the Grand Ballroom at Navy Pier in downtown Chicago. I sang in a mass choir, ate wonderful food, watched fireworks off the pier, and danced for an hour and a half. (I also factored all that excercise in as well). I ended up losing another lb. I've got a 40th high school reunion this Saturday. Held at the high school, not as fancy but still a special event. Cheri

Saturday, October 3, 2009 Dancing! I danced for an hour and a half last night and barely sat down! I didn't get winded either. I'm sore but my joints held together, my muscles had no problems, and I breathed easily. I'm 2 lbs away from a 50 lb weight loss. I've got 22 lbs to go. I'm amazed at how much the weight loss has already accomplished. Last night was great. I attended the 50th anniversary of Trinity Christian College held in the Grand Ballroom of Navy Pier in downtown Chicago--one of my favorite places in Chicago. I wore the designer winter pantsuit I got married in 10 years ago come February. Let's call it vintage. The suitcoat is very uniquely styled, very clean, modern, elegant, shoulder pads, nipped in at the waist, draped long over the hips, wide leg pants, and its a dusty pale rose or pink. Stood out like a sore thumb in a room of mostly black-clad middle-aged and elderly women. Lacy, subdued print, boxy jackets, or shawls, over black or dark dresses. Most of the college age girls wore shortened length, halter top, shiny, former(maybe) bridesmaids dresses in dark greens and golds and purples. But I felt great in my suit. I looked great in my suit. I sang in a combo alumni and student choir, I ate delicious food (for which I'd prepared by having only 2 protein shakes that day), I greeted a lot of people I hadn't seen for a while, I saw a great 10 minute fireworks display shivering outside on the pier in the unseasonably cold weather, and danced my heart out with my huband. This coming Saturday I'll be attending my 40th high school reunion. I don't think anyone I actually hung out with will be there but I'm going anyway. Can't say I really fit in in high school among any of the groups. So it should be interesting. I can't believe its been 40 years. I was only 17 years old, one of the youngest in my class. I was just coming into my own as a senior, but I really blossomed in college at Trinity. Being a little different was an asset. My off-beat way of looking at things gave me a perspective the professors appreciated. I was in top physical shape, my hair was down to my waist (like Cher who was big at the time). I performed in plays, enjoyed intramural sports, stayed up late in the dorm, went home weekends with my laundry, which my mother (bless her heart) did. Various boys were definitely showing an interest in me but my former husband had kind of cut me out of the crowd before I ever got to Trinity. We were not exclusive but he had a tendancy to be hanging around when other boys took me to informal events on campus. I had dated a little in high school when I became a lifeguard during the summers. Public school boys appreciated me a whole lot more than the boys from my own Christian high school. But I never did get much chance to experience the whole teenage dating thing. After my divorce, when I started going to a Christian "Helpmates" singles group, I had some of that experience but in my late 40's. I had a blast having men hanging around me and dancing with all of them. I had lost weight after the divorce and my hysterectomy and was looking quite good. In fact, I was down to my current goal weight. Then, once again, I got cut out of the crowd by my current husband, whom I met on the dance floor. Onc thing about being free from men. I seemed to better be able to ignore food and have fun and stay in shape. Something about being tied down, even willingly, by another human being--and I think that includes my children, is not healthy for me. I stop taking care of myself when I start taking care of others. I am mildly claustrophobic. I need physical space where I live. I love being outdoors walking where I want. I love dancing where I can physically release and shed all confinement. I suspect this is related to my ADHD. I work in a culture very different from the one I was raised in. I feel much more free to be myself there than when I'm with the more rigid, highly conservative, tradition based Dutch Christian community I was raised in. I attend a church that's multi-cultural that's much less rigid in its worship as well as its preaching and general attitude. I feel like I can breathe there. Sometimes I think I encased myself in fat in order to help me remain and survive in confining situations. It will be interesting to see how I do without the fat. My personality tends to leak out more strongly and I'm less likely to keep my opinions to myself. I get a little more boisterous and make people laugh but also step on more toes. Hopefully, maturity will take the place of fat in giving me judgement. I want the freedom to be myself but I don't want trouble either. I'll make mistakes, say the wrong thing, apologize and hope people don't hold grudges and give me the benefit of the doubt, since my intentions are never to hurt anyone. I think it was Abe Lincoln who said that most people are as happy as they want to be. I'm choosing happiness. Being myself makes me happy. Not letting other's ideas of who I should be dictate my behavior and cause me to eat makes me happy. I want to dance inside even when I can't dance outside. Bit by bit, I'm becoming more and more the person God meant me to be. Somedays more than others. I'm planning on having a good time at my reunion, just like I had at the Trinity event last night. I'm planning on being me, dancing on the inside.

Saturday, October 3, 2009 Dancing! I danced for an hour and a half last night and barely sat down! I didn't get winded either. I'm sore but my joints held together, my muscles had no problems, and I breathed easily. I'm 2 lbs away from a 50 lb weight loss. I've got 22 lbs to go. I'm amazed at how much the weight loss has already accomplished. Last night was great. I attended the 50th anniversary of Trinity Christian College held in the Grand Ballroom of Navy Pier in downtown Chicago--one of my favorite places in Chicago. I wore the designer winter pantsuit I got married in 10 years ago come February. Let's call it vintage. The suitcoat is very uniquely styled, very clean, modern, elegant, shoulder pads, nipped in at the waist, draped long over the hips, wide leg pants, and its a dusty pale rose or pink. Stood out like a sore thumb in a room of mostly black-clad middle-aged and elderly women. Lacy, subdued print, boxy jackets, or shawls, over black or dark dresses. Most of the college age girls wore shortened length, halter top, shiny, former(maybe) bridesmaids dresses in dark greens and golds and purples. But I felt great in my suit. I looked great in my suit. I sang in a combo alumni and student choir, I ate delicious food (for which I'd prepared by having only 2 protein shakes that day), I greeted a lot of people I hadn't seen for a while, I saw a great 10 minute fireworks display shivering outside on the pier in the unseasonably cold weather, and danced my heart out with my huband. This coming Saturday I'll be attending my 40th high school reunion. I don't think anyone I actually hung out with will be there but I'm going anyway. Can't say I really fit in in high school among any of the groups. So it should be interesting. I can't believe its been 40 years. I was only 17 years old, one of the youngest in my class. I was just coming into my own as a senior, but I really blossomed in college at Trinity. Being a little different was an asset. My off-beat way of looking at things gave me a perspective the professors appreciated. I was in top physical shape, my hair was down to my waist (like Cher who was big at the time). I performed in plays, enjoyed intramural sports, stayed up late in the dorm, went home weekends with my laundry, which my mother (bless her heart) did. Various boys were definitely showing an interest in me but my former husband had kind of cut me out of the crowd before I ever got to Trinity. We were not exclusive but he had a tendancy to be hanging around when other boys took me to informal events on campus. I had dated a little in high school when I became a lifeguard during the summers. Public school boys appreciated me a whole lot more than the boys from my own Christian high school. But I never did get much chance to experience the whole teenage dating thing. After my divorce, when I started going to a Christian "Helpmates" singles group, I had some of that experience but in my late 40's. I had a blast having men hanging around me and dancing with all of them. I had lost weight after the divorce and my hysterectomy and was looking quite good. In fact, I was down to my current goal weight. Then, once again, I got cut out of the crowd by my current husband, whom I met on the dance floor. Onc thing about being free from men. I seemed to better be able to ignore food and have fun and stay in shape. Something about being tied down, even willingly, by another human being--and I think that includes my children, is not healthy for me. I stop taking care of myself when I start taking care of others. I am mildly claustrophobic. I need physical space where I live. I love being outdoors walking where I want. I love dancing where I can physically release and shed all confinement. I suspect this is related to my ADHD. I work in a culture very different from the one I was raised in. I feel much more free to be myself there than when I'm with the more rigid, highly conservative, tradition based Dutch Christian community I was raised in. I attend a church that's multi-cultural that's much less rigid in its worship as well as its preaching and general attitude. I feel like I can breathe there. Sometimes I think I encased myself in fat in order to help me remain and survive in confining situations. It will be interesting to see how I do without the fat. My personality tends to leak out more strongly and I'm less likely to keep my opinions to myself. I get a little more boisterous and make people laugh but also step on more toes. Hopefully, maturity will take the place of fat in giving me judgement. I want the freedom to be myself but I don't want trouble either. I'll make mistakes, say the wrong thing, apologize and hope people don't hold grudges and give me the benefit of the doubt, since my intentions are never to hurt anyone. I think it was Abe Lincoln who said that most people are as happy as they want to be. I'm choosing happiness. Being myself makes me happy. Not letting other's ideas of who I should be dictate my behavior and cause me to eat makes me happy. I want to dance inside even when I can't dance outside. Bit by bit, I'm becoming more and more the person God meant me to be. Somedays more than others. I'm planning on having a good time at my reunion, just like I had at the Trinity event last night. I'm planning on being me, dancing on the inside.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009 I am really tied down teaching this year. By which I mean I have to stay in my seat period after period working intensively with some very needy kids who can't be left to work independantly. Many of my groups are smaller, but I only have an assistant two days a week, so I'm having to take the iron bladder option the other three days. This is where the limits of the NCLB program for my school become more obvious. I am supposed to be a supplemental program for reading and math, remedial not special ed. But many of my kids are probably special ed level though Chicago Public Schools would do their best to make sure they get no services. One child I have is actually from a special ed setting but was getting bullied in his school so the mother sent him to us, knowing we can't provide him with the intensive services he qualifies for, but also knowing that he won't make that much progress anyway. He's functioning at a first grade level though age-wise he's a fifth grader. I see him every chance I can get, but he's usually with a fairly large group of kids which makes the one on one teaching he needs impossible. I have a number of students who test below the 10th percentile, meaning they need intense remediation and close to one on one teaching. Especially since several are in the first and second grades and are not yet reading, they have to sound out almost every word of every work page out loud to me. Incredibly time consuming. Having two of these children together totally ties me down. My older groups have students who are also really low. It's hard to get to them and give them the extra time they need. I have one break period everyday except Tuesday but I'm working with kids before school and after school. So its straight sit-down-next-to-the-child teaching from 8 a.m. till 4 p.m. Since I see these kids year after year I do see progress over time. In fact, the average increase in test scores over the years I see the children is @15%. A number of the fourth graders I see are making great progress. Several have graduated from the reading program and are coming only for math. They are eager beavers and a pleasure to work with. They have sweet natures and are very loving. They absolutely love me and love to come to my classroom. All the fourth grade girls I see are in after school care and I made my after school class out of this group of girls. I figured they'd be the easiest and most rewarding group I could teach when I'm starting to run out of teaching gas. I was right. It is dfficult to come home and not eat a lot and get my excercise, too. I'm getting home later, I'm really hungry by then and mentally tired. Writing in this blog is becoming more difficult. Plus my son and his 3 year old have been coming over almost every night to shower and bathe respectively since their bathroom has been dismantled. I can't ignore my granddaughter. So the blog is taking a back seat for a while. I am still doing well with the food, though I can't exercise as much as during the summer. I've also got a few conventions to go to and a couple of reunions. Life is busy. Life is difficult. Life is good. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009 I am really tied down teaching this year. By which I mean I have to stay in my seat period after period working intensively with some very needy kids who can't be left to work independantly. Many of my groups are smaller, but I only have an assistant two days a week, so I'm having to take the iron bladder option the other three days. This is where the limits of the NCLB program for my school become more obvious. I am supposed to be a supplemental program for reading and math, remedial not special ed. But many of my kids are probably special ed level though Chicago Public Schools would do their best to make sure they get no services. One child I have is actually from a special ed setting but was getting bullied in his school so the mother sent him to us, knowing we can't provide him with the intensive services he qualifies for, but also knowing that he won't make that much progress anyway. He's functioning at a first grade level though age-wise he's a fifth grader. I see him every chance I can get, but he's usually with a fairly large group of kids which makes the one on one teaching he needs impossible. I have a number of students who test below the 10th percentile, meaning they need intense remediation and close to one on one teaching. Especially since several are in the first and second grades and are not yet reading, they have to sound out almost every word of every work page out loud to me. Incredibly time consuming. Having two of these children together totally ties me down. My older groups have students who are also really low. It's hard to get to them and give them the extra time they need. I have one break period everyday except Tuesday but I'm working with kids before school and after school. So its straight sit-down-next-to-the-child teaching from 8 a.m. till 4 p.m. Since I see these kids year after year I do see progress over time. In fact, the average increase in test scores over the years I see the children is @15%. A number of the fourth graders I see are making great progress. Several have graduated from the reading program and are coming only for math. They are eager beavers and a pleasure to work with. They have sweet natures and are very loving. They absolutely love me and love to come to my classroom. All the fourth grade girls I see are in after school care and I made my after school class out of this group of girls. I figured they'd be the easiest and most rewarding group I could teach when I'm starting to run out of teaching gas. I was right. It is dfficult to come home and not eat a lot and get my excercise, too. I'm getting home later, I'm really hungry by then and mentally tired. Writing in this blog is becoming more difficult. Plus my son and his 3 year old have been coming over almost every night to shower and bathe respectively since their bathroom has been dismantled. I can't ignore my granddaughter. So the blog is taking a back seat for a while. I am still doing well with the food, though I can't exercise as much as during the summer. I've also got a few conventions to go to and a couple of reunions. Life is busy. Life is difficult. Life is good. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Everyone's doing great with the excercise. Congratulations. 23 more lbs for me. I don't think I'll have trouble with reaching that by Dec. 30, my birthday. CBL CHeri

I guess I reward myself when I can wear clothes from thinner days that are in my closet or when I go to the thrift shop and pick up just a few things to tide me over to the next size. I get a real thrill every time I can drop another med. I'm astonished at how much easier I'm moving and keeping up with my grandchildren. Being with them and able to play with them and keep up with them is also a tremendous reward for me. By the way, I figured out what my BMI will be at goal. I was 237 which was a BMI of 35 which, with my co-morbidities made me eligible for surgery. My goal is 167 which is just under 25 which is perfect. My Dr. had eyeballed me and given me a goal of 170 which is exactly 25 BMI. I went for 167 because its an even 70 lb weight loss. I figure I'll try to stay in a range of 165-170. I'm loving 190. I'm finally looking good in clothes. (We won't talk about naked. That's just depressing.)

Gotta save up for a wii. Gotta be better than walking on a treadmill all the time.

By the way, several of my temporary clothese are from resale or thrift shops. The economy is making them boom.

I love 3/4 length sleeves, partly because of my long arms, partly because except when its 0 outside I tend to get warm--people keep things too hot when its cold outside. Since my hyst I can't stand that. I like my wrists free. Also, one arm is significantly longer than the other. My long-sleeved shirts always looked uneven and I didn't know why till I broke my elbow and had to have a screw put in it and have it casted for three weeks. Afterwards I did excercises to straighten it out and kept stretching it out in front of me and comparing it to the other arm. That's when I noticed one arm was much longer. Isn't as noticable with a 3/4 length sleeve. I have always hated my upper arms and most short sleeves cut me off in ways that make them look worse, so I was very happy for the 3/4 length. Like capris, cooler for summer, less confining, but still hides the worst.

I have a community center near me that allows people to walk free on its walking track. I also have a treadmill we picked up at a garage sale for $35. But I much prefer walking outside. I try to get home in time to walk at least 40 minutes. I try to walk longer on weekends. I was walking longer everyday but now I'm teaching school and I get home late and its getting darker earlier. I stay on main roads if I'm out at dusk but I'm in a fairly safe neighborhood. I'm not a very fearful person; I'm careful, but not paranoid. When the snow comes I'll do the treadmill and the walking track. 4

Hope knee surgery goes well. I love my new knees. Meredith--congrats on the 50lbs. Laura--hope your knee is improving Janet--glad you're doing better Julie--glad you're a little better. Are they going to do the MRI? Subject pants. This and last year pants are running longer because people are covering half boots with their pants. I'm 5'9". I'm getting away with wearing a regular length. Talls have always needed hemming. I always cold Water washed regulars because they always shrunk and then I had high waters. I did get a great pair of pants for $12 at Kohls. They're charcoal grey, low-rise, stretch, and actually fit my butt and thighs. First pair of pants in a long time that look good. School is really busy and I have a lot of commitments over the next few weeks. I'm keeping up with reading but not posting.

I think we all ought to sue Ayds. I think they still make it. It's probably responsible for our obesity. I couldn't stop eating them. And then I, too, ate my supper as well. That cleanse sounds awful. Don't like grapefruit so that diet was pretty awful. By the way I also tried laxatives but I was so naturally constipated it didn't work. It just made me normal. LOL. I tried throwing up but food just doesn't taste the same coming up as going down, though I had it from the horse's mouth that ice cream tastes the same. LOL. I've got my big shindig for my college at Navy Pier in downtown Chicago this Friday. I'm going to wear the suit I got married in 10 years ago. I was relatively thin at that time. 23 lbs to goal. Yeah! Love my band.

Did the Ayds and the Grapefruit.

Sunday, September 27, 2009 47 Lbs Down, 23 to Go My body has changed so much since the last time I weighed this much. I've totally lost my butt and now have the typical Dutch flat wide back end of a bus hind end.I also had a fat abdomen but not a tummy. Now I've got 2 rolls and the bigger one is on top My waist is thicker, my hips are thinner and so are my thighs. If it fits my waist it bags on my butt and thighs. So what suits me is not currently in the stores. LOL. But I still look better in clothes than before, and want more of them. A week ago I went shopping. I'm in between an XL and an L. Neither looked right. The mirrors and lighting in the fitting rooms are absolutely unforgiving. My body's fat distribution has changed so much from the last time I lost weight. My upper stomach sticks out more than my abdomen, but the abdomen has the hanging skin. My thighs are thinner but unbelievably flabby and flappy. My legs are full of varicose veins. My butt has become the typical Dutch butt--wide and flat like the back end of a bus. Once upon a time my figure was hourglass. That was depressing. I left the store and didn't buy anything. Makes me want plastic surgery but I'll never be able to afford it. And I'm scared of the pain. Sounds worse than my knee surgeries, neck surgery, and my hysterectomy combined..Gettin' old is a real bitch. My hysterectomy 10 years ago is partially responsible for the redistribution of my weight. Pregnancies, nursing, age and weight loss have warped the rest. I went back a few days later. Bought some XLs and hope they shrink a little when I wash them so they'll fit a while. Today I used my cash back bucks to buy a really great pair of pants. My guess is nobody my age except the very rich looks very good without their clothes. I feel like I'm starting to look good in my clothes. That's a good thing. My goal is to reach goal by my birthday, Dec. 30. Forty-seven lbs. down, 23 to go. In my quest to remain thin and fight my food addiction I used and did a lot of things. Weight Watchers Dexatrim Slimfast Atkins Jenny Craig Hypnosis Thyroid with an unknown appetite suppressant Overeaters Anonymous TOPS exercising like a maniac a religious group (lasted 2 meetings, too many rules, too much talk about gluttony, figured Jesus would not have attended either) various supplements which I believe had extreme amounts of caffeine and who knows what in them. I've lived 57 years. I don't even remember all the things I did and tried. But I'm looking much better. 47 lbs off, 23 to go. Whoo hoo! Not there yet. This is the weight I was at the end of my pregnancies. But my health is so much better. No more blood pressure meds or supplements. No more reflux meds since the Dr. fixed my hiatal hernia when he put in the lapband. I'm thinking soon no more cholesterol meds. I've discovered Miralax and am no longer eating fiber like a madwoman to counteract the constipation I've suffered since a baby. I walk 2-3 mi/day at least 5 days a week. Its the only exercise I can really do. Walk outside as much as possible to enjoy the view, fresh air and the sunshine when available. I do have a treadmill I picked up at a garage sale for $35 that I use when the weather gets bad. I can also go to the community center and walk for free on their walking track. I have a lot more energy, which I need to keep up with the kids I teach and my grandkids. I have some issues, but with the help of the band, they're not driving me into the food. God is good, all the time, All the time, God is good. And I can do all things, through him who strengthens me.

Sunday, September 27, 2009 47 Lbs Down, 23 to Go My body has changed so much since the last time I weighed this much. I've totally lost my butt and now have the typical Dutch flat wide back end of a bus hind end.I also had a fat abdomen but not a tummy. Now I've got 2 rolls and the bigger one is on top My waist is thicker, my hips are thinner and so are my thighs. If it fits my waist it bags on my butt and thighs. So what suits me is not currently in the stores. LOL. But I still look better in clothes than before, and want more of them. A week ago I went shopping. I'm in between an XL and an L. Neither looked right. The mirrors and lighting in the fitting rooms are absolutely unforgiving. My body's fat distribution has changed so much from the last time I lost weight. My upper stomach sticks out more than my abdomen, but the abdomen has the hanging skin. My thighs are thinner but unbelievably flabby and flappy. My legs are full of varicose veins. My butt has become the typical Dutch butt--wide and flat like the back end of a bus. Once upon a time my figure was hourglass. That was depressing. I left the store and didn't buy anything. Makes me want plastic surgery but I'll never be able to afford it. And I'm scared of the pain. Sounds worse than my knee surgeries, neck surgery, and my hysterectomy combined..Gettin' old is a real bitch. My hysterectomy 10 years ago is partially responsible for the redistribution of my weight. Pregnancies, nursing, age and weight loss have warped the rest. I went back a few days later. Bought some XLs and hope they shrink a little when I wash them so they'll fit a while. Today I used my cash back bucks to buy a really great pair of pants. My guess is nobody my age except the very rich looks very good without their clothes. I feel like I'm starting to look good in my clothes. That's a good thing. My goal is to reach goal by my birthday, Dec. 30. Forty-seven lbs. down, 23 to go. In my quest to remain thin and fight my food addiction I used and did a lot of things. Weight Watchers Dexatrim Slimfast Atkins Jenny Craig Hypnosis Thyroid with an unknown appetite suppressant Overeaters Anonymous TOPS exercising like a maniac a religious group (lasted 2 meetings, too many rules, too much talk about gluttony, figured Jesus would not have attended either) various supplements which I believe had extreme amounts of caffeine and who knows what in them. I've lived 57 years. I don't even remember all the things I did and tried. But I'm looking much better. 47 lbs off, 23 to go. Whoo hoo! Not there yet. This is the weight I was at the end of my pregnancies. But my health is so much better. No more blood pressure meds or supplements. No more reflux meds since the Dr. fixed my hiatal hernia when he put in the lapband. I'm thinking soon no more cholesterol meds. I've discovered Miralax and am no longer eating fiber like a madwoman to counteract the constipation I've suffered since a baby. I walk 2-3 mi/day at least 5 days a week. Its the only exercise I can really do. Walk outside as much as possible to enjoy the view, fresh air and the sunshine when available. I do have a treadmill I picked up at a garage sale for $35 that I use when the weather gets bad. I can also go to the community center and walk for free on their walking track. I have a lot more energy, which I need to keep up with the kids I teach and my grandkids. I have some issues, but with the help of the band, they're not driving me into the food. God is good, all the time, All the time, God is good. And I can do all things, through him who strengthens me.