ifyourstomachoffendsyou

Tuesday, November 3, 2009 Mixed Bag Came home from school and walked for over an hour today in the twilight. Had a good food day after a very Halloween chocolate weekend. But then I looked at Facebook and found my grandson Joshua had fallen on his head from a bunk bed and was in significant pain with his head and neck though the CT scans show nothing. He won't move his neck. I hope my daughter gets him to a specialist tomorrow. I don't trust small local rural hospitals. Josh would not lie still for the CT scans or the x-rays so something could have been missed. I love that little booger and he loves his grandma. Please pray for him. I'm seeing some great progress from some of my kids at work. I've also been able to increase the number of contacts with the kids so my program will hopefully bring in more funds. Next year is still very much up in the air as far as my employment is concerned. I've been working with the promotions committee to try to bring in more funds and more students. I'm just praying that these things will work out. People need to open their hearts and their pocketbooks. Three or four city blocks from the school a young man was killed a few weeks ago. You may have seen it on the news. It made national headlines and Obama sent representatives to the high school the young man and his attackers attended. He was killed with a two by four. Meanwhile the children attending our school were safe inside in our afterschool program. I believe Roseland Christian School saves lives. God uses us to give these kids hope and a future. Please pray for my future and for the future of RCS and its students. "For I know the plans I have for you, plans not to harm you but to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah.

55 lbs lost since June 18. 15 lbs to goal. October was difficult. Same 3 lbs off and on. Finally lost it for good and got another 2 off. Hoping for 7 or 8 off by the end of Nov. and then another 7 or 8 by my birthday, Dec. 30.

Apples, I like Mondays, too. I look forward to going to work. I am a problem solver and these kids and this school have many problems. Also, my personal motto is from Micah 6 and says, "Act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God." This place allows me to practice justice (equal education for students who wouldn't get it in the public schools and historically haven't ever gotten it), love mercy (everytime a student needs encouragement or a boundary enforced and then relationship restored), and I couldn't do this job without God. Anyone who lacks humility will not survive in this place. I am also a glass half full kind of person. I'm also an every crisis is an opportunity kind of person. When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade etc. The fact is, life is hard. When you accept that and don't whine about it, it gets a lot better. Doesn't mean we shouldn't vent once in a while. Doesn't mean we don't despair at times. But even in my toughest times, I was always aware that joy from the Lord lay just under the surface. Weeping may last for a day, but joy comes in the morning. (Ecclesiastes) One of my favorite old hymns is When peace like a river attendeth my way, when sorrows like sea billows roll. Whatever my lot Thou hast taught me to say, "It is well, it is well with my soul." A song that I wrote last spring goes like this (based on Phillipians 4) I could've been a superstar but that wouldn't take me very far I am content. I could've had a mansion and worn the latest fashion but I am content. I am content no matter what the circumstance. I am content no matter what my lot. I know what it means to live in want or have plenty. I know the meaning of being content... Is I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. Yes, I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. Cheri

All knee sufferers: Got scoped on my knees to remove torn up cartilage. That bought me a few years on my knees. Glucosamine, chondroitin are pretty much a waste of money as new studies have shown they have no effect. I did the Synvisc injections and they bought me some time but inevitably I needed the new knees. The only thing I can't do with them is kneel. Hip pain can also come from the lower back. After limping for years or favoring joints you can be quite crooked. The new knees straighten you out and the rest of you has to adjust. You're moving more and formerly babied joints are protesting. I'm hoping that I've bought myself time before also needing a hip replacement by losing so much weight and getting into good shape. Try water walking. It'll stress hips less while strengthening old and new knees and hips. I really strengthened my knees before I had double replacement surgery and I was on my feet and walking and climbing steps the next day. I hang from an inversion table a few times a week and it stretches out and relieves my disc compression all down my spine and seems to help my hip, too. Apples, congrats on the 30 yrs. Glad you weren't hurt. Got three light weight sweaters at a thrift shop. Sang in choir today and attended a great concert, then went to my community/Bible study group. Good discussion. Back to work tomorrow. I'm probably going to start finishing my Masters spring semester and start sending out resumes. Don't want to but I've no guarantees for a job next year. Newbies, keep coming back. I've got 15 lbs to go to goal. Cheri

Congratulations Phyll, welcome to onederland. Had too many dogs and cats when the kids were home. None of them were my idea, but I ended up taking care of them all. If something happpened to my husband I might get a dog--but not one that sheds or barks a lot. I never want to clean up hair again. I never want to deal with cat pb again. I remember paying my son 10 cents a pile to clean up all the poop from the yard after the snow finally melted in the spring. I believe he earned $7. We had two finicky Siamese who pb'd everything, and a big black cat who developed bladder problems, and a cat named Oreo who thought he was a dog and had to be let out to use the facilities. All the cats ended up sleeping with my youngest son. They replaced his stuffed animals. His bed was always a disaster. Our 125 lb Chessie lived in the back yard and had an insulated shelter in the garage. These dogs secrete a stinky oil that makes them waterproof but your hand reeks after you pet them. He was too big and stinky to live in the house. When he shed his hair would roll like tumbleweed around the back yard. He would stand with his paws on the window sill of the kitchen window and look in on us. He loved to sleep in my flower beds. And pee on certain plants that eventually died. He looked like a small bear, or a cow. My daughter brought home an insane dog who jumped straight up and down like he had springs on his feet but never figured out if he jumped forward he could jump the fence. He yapped continually. When I moved, a couple animals had died and I gave the rest away, or I made my kids do it. I had spent unbelievable amounts on dog food, cat food, and vet bills. I had ruined furniture I had to have recovered. I guess I never got to the member of the family stage with the animals. Raising my own kids was as much as I could handle. The animals were just part of raising my kids, but with the kids grown and gone I had no desire to deal with the three remaining cats. ( My daughter had taken her crazy dog when she got married.) It was a major stress reliever to no longer deal with the pets.

Grandson still in pain but a little less. I'm worried more about his neck than the top of his head. He may appear to recover but I'll bet he's got a good headstart on major neck problems as an adult. Walked an hour again. Have really picked up the pace and am covering much more ground on my walks. Food is good but I think I'm really slowing down on weight loss as I get closer to goal. People are starting to hint that I've lost enough weight. I know I really look pretty good and feel great. I'm 5'9", I weigh 183 lbs. My goal is 167 to make my weight loss and even 70#s. My skin is hanging, but my clothes hide it. Laura, it really is hard after a major sugar binge of several days to get the appetite back under control. Hard to stop the food cravings. I think it is the insulin that got jacked up by the sugar. I took off the 2 lbs gained, but I can't seem to get below this weight. Been up and down for weeks. Oh well! Happy posting!

Had a good day foodwise. Got out and walked over an hour. Then I got on Facebook and learned my grandson fell onto his head off the bunkbed. He's in a lot of pain and won't move his neck. Big lump on top of his head. He had 2 CT scans and is on ibuprofen and Tylenol. Nothing showed on the CT scans but I don't trust small local hospitals. They make notorious mistakes reading tests. Josh is only two and wouldn't hold still for the scans either. So keep him in your prayers. My daughter was so upset and tired when I called she could barely talk about it. She's probably blaming herself but Josh is a handful and fortunately built like a tank.

You have to be careful of many fibers after surgery because they expand and fill your pouch quickly and sometimes too much after surgery and after fills. Cheri

I am actually posting from school. I decided to stay because the kids left my room at 4:25 and i have a Promotions Committee meeting at 6:30. Over an hour's commute to get home and back so I walked around the gym and climbed stairs for 45 minutes. Just finished a sm. V8 and 3 oz. can of chicken for supper. I also have a small applesauce I can eat. This meal should help get me back into my food protocol after my high calorie Halloween weekend. I really enjoyed the chocolate but now it must go. At least my evening Kashi bar has some chocolate in it as does my morning protein shake. Laura you seem to be doing much better, though I'm sure you're still grieving and anxious. Nels and Mimi and Brooks were so cute for Halloween. Miss you Apples. Wish some of you were from Chicago area. Particularly the south side. It's cool the way some of you have connected. Actually saw the sun yesterday and today, tho today I was stuck indoors, my room was still lit up. I walked outdoors in front of the school for 10 minutes but I don't dare venture farther. Very bad neighborhood. The kid who was killed with a 2 by 4 (it made the national news, Obama sent a big shot) was only a few blocks from my school. Our kids were safe inside in afterschool care. Let's not talk about Christmas presents! Yet! Happy posting!

To Newbies, Some of us have blogged our journeys. I like to offer my blog as one person's journey that may help others go through it too. You can find it at IF YOUR STOMACH OFFENDS YOU, TIE IT OFF Start at the beginning. I talk a lot about the addiction side and dealing with it. I still post at least once a week, but last summer I posted everyday once I learned I'd been approved for surgery, so I posted through some of the most difficult This thread is also one of the best if not the best I've tried for getting support. Cheri

If you click on IF YOUR STOMACH OFFENDS YOU, TIE IT OFF You'll be able to read the blog if you click on this link. You can comment by clicking on comment at the bottom of any of my posts. Start at the beginning of my blog and work your way thru it. Please comment only on the most recent blog though. I don't go back and look for comments on old posts. Thanks for your interest.

I hate how early it gets dark. I'm upping my vitamin D to cope.

Saturday, October 31, 2009 October--Tricks and Treats Halloween. Tricks and treats. My daughter had a party for a few couples before they and their kids all went trick or treating. My husband and I also attended. I came early to take my grandson David to his indoor soccer game first. David has just turned 5 and just still makes this age group for soccer. He stands a head taller than everyone else. Hysterical. David kicking the ball the wrong way. David, laying down and refusing to get up. David wanting to leave to get a drink of water in the middle of the game--which I could tell by his cheeks he really needed. David refusing to leave the floor when it was his turn to sit out. David looking everywhere but at the ball. David pushing the other kids. David is mildly autistic and I'm sure most parents had no idea why this big tall kid was being such a pain. I had to walk out onto the floor several times to say to him quietly that he might not get to go trick or treating. Last year my daughter had the coaches permission to stay on the floor with him all the time. He needs the exposure to these situations and the exercise is good for him, but you could just see the processing delays on verbal instructions. Poor kid. However, when he got home his friends came over and then he got to be "Octopus Prime" (aka Optimus Prime from Transformers) and go trick or treating. He handled being with his friends and trick or treating just fine. But the number of people and the noise level and activity of the soccer game were too much for him. His "Octopus" Prime reminded me of a kindergartner I heard singing at school Friday (to the tune of Michael Jackson's Thriller) "Gorilla! Gorilla night!" Picture Gorillas dancing like the zombies in the video. I have to admit I ate several small chocolate candy bars at my daughter's. She had a lot of slider appetizers and I ate some of that without putting it on crackers or tortilla chips and didn't pig out. But I couldn't resist the chocolate bars. I haven't had chocolate bars in months. I'm glad Halloween is over. Next big temptation--Thanksgiving. I have several weeks to recover from October, which contained a 125th Anniversary celebration for Roseland Christian School where I teach, a 40th high school reunion, my college's 50th anniversary celebration at Navy Pier in downtown Chicago, 2 two-day conferences, 2 retreats, David's 5th birthday party at Chucky Cheese, and Halloween. I'm happy and consider it somewhat of a miracle to have lost 4 lbs this past month. My fill seems to work well to limit all foods except slider foods. So hopefully November will be mostly slider free.

Saturday, October 31, 2009 October--Tricks and Treats Halloween. Tricks and treats. My daughter had a party for a few couples before they and their kids all went trick or treating. My husband and I also attended. I came early to take my grandson David to his indoor soccer game first. David has just turned 5 and just still makes this age group for soccer. He stands a head taller than everyone else. Hysterical. David kicking the ball the wrong way. David, laying down and refusing to get up. David wanting to leave to get a drink of water in the middle of the game--which I could tell by his cheeks he really needed. David refusing to leave the floor when it was his turn to sit out. David looking everywhere but at the ball. David pushing the other kids. David is mildly autistic and I'm sure most parents had no idea why this big tall kid was being such a pain. I had to walk out onto the floor several times to say to him quietly that he might not get to go trick or treating. Last year my daughter had the coaches permission to stay on the floor with him all the time. He needs the exposure to these situations and the exercise is good for him, but you could just see the processing delays on verbal instructions. Poor kid. However, when he got home his friends came over and then he got to be "Octopus Prime" (aka Optimus Prime from Transformers) and go trick or treating. He handled being with his friends and trick or treating just fine. But the number of people and the noise level and activity of the soccer game were too much for him. His "Octopus" Prime reminded me of a kindergartner I heard singing at school Friday (to the tune of Michael Jackson's Thriller) "Gorilla! Gorilla night!" Picture Gorillas dancing like the zombies in the video. I have to admit I ate several small chocolate candy bars at my daughter's. She had a lot of slider appetizers and I ate some of that without putting it on crackers or tortilla chips and didn't pig out. But I couldn't resist the chocolate bars. I haven't had chocolate bars in months. I'm glad Halloween is over. Next big temptation--Thanksgiving. I have several weeks to recover from October, which contained a 125th Anniversary celebration for Roseland Christian School where I teach, a 40th high school reunion, my college's 50th anniversary celebration at Navy Pier in downtown Chicago, 2 two-day conferences, 2 retreats, David's 5th birthday party at Chucky Cheese, and Halloween. I'm happy and consider it somewhat of a miracle to have lost 4 lbs this past month. My fill seems to work well to limit all foods except slider foods. So hopefully November will be mostly slider free.

Thursday, October 29, 2009 Things That Make Me Feel Good. It was supposed to be 65 and sunny today. I was so looking forward to coming home and walking outside. Well, the sun never showed up and it never quite reached 65. I came home and got dressed for my walk, walked out the door and was met with a steady drizzle. This has been an incredibly wet autumn. So I changed coats, put on a hat, and went walking anyway. It was still light enough to see the golden colors of the remaining leaves. But I would have loved to have seen them lit by the sun. I think I do have a little more restriction. Which is good because I'm really craving food. Especially carbs. Ahh Vicodin. Used after surgeries and for all types of pain. Kept me up all night in addition to constipating me. Puts some people to sleep. Me, it kept awake. Made my heart race. Hated it. Don't understand how people get addicted to it. Love Miralax. Its my friend. Veggies and salads have never helped with my constipation. Took tons of fiber. Worked, but gave me gas. Course, so does the band. Or the Miralax. Or the protein shakes. Or the Kashi bar. Or all the protein. After the band I made up a new saying, "Feel free to fart frequently." Lot of Dr.s telling people to take Vitamin D. Sometimes put them on megadoses to get their levels up. But some people don't feel well on the megadoses. You know, I take over the counter Vitamin D with no side effects. No megadoses. I probably get about 2-4000 IU per day. I'm increasing it because of the lack of sunshine this fall. I think its really helped with my Seasonal Affective Disorder. I need to share a tidbit about the cerebellum and exercise. It used to be thought that the cerebellum, at the bottom back of your brain, only controlled movement. Now it is known that it is the source of sequencing which is the basis of logic, higher level thinking skills and math. When you excercise you burn neural pathways that increase your sequencing skills, thereby making you smarter. A school whose students ran for half an hour before school every morning not only saw obesity almost eliminated, they saw dramatic increases in test scores. So, get moving ladies. Maybe we should make all politicians, business leaders, insurance CEOs, and pundits go out and run every morning. They could use some logic skills. I also read yesterday that 30 minutes of aerobic exercise increases one's sense of well-being for up to 12 hours. I walked over an hour today. In the rain. And I felt good. God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.

Thursday, October 29, 2009 Things That Make Me Feel Good. It was supposed to be 65 and sunny today. I was so looking forward to coming home and walking outside. Well, the sun never showed up and it never quite reached 65. I came home and got dressed for my walk, walked out the door and was met with a steady drizzle. This has been an incredibly wet autumn. So I changed coats, put on a hat, and went walking anyway. It was still light enough to see the golden colors of the remaining leaves. But I would have loved to have seen them lit by the sun. I think I do have a little more restriction. Which is good because I'm really craving food. Especially carbs. Ahh Vicodin. Used after surgeries and for all types of pain. Kept me up all night in addition to constipating me. Puts some people to sleep. Me, it kept awake. Made my heart race. Hated it. Don't understand how people get addicted to it. Love Miralax. Its my friend. Veggies and salads have never helped with my constipation. Took tons of fiber. Worked, but gave me gas. Course, so does the band. Or the Miralax. Or the protein shakes. Or the Kashi bar. Or all the protein. After the band I made up a new saying, "Feel free to fart frequently." Lot of Dr.s telling people to take Vitamin D. Sometimes put them on megadoses to get their levels up. But some people don't feel well on the megadoses. You know, I take over the counter Vitamin D with no side effects. No megadoses. I probably get about 2-4000 IU per day. I'm increasing it because of the lack of sunshine this fall. I think its really helped with my Seasonal Affective Disorder. I need to share a tidbit about the cerebellum and exercise. It used to be thought that the cerebellum, at the bottom back of your brain, only controlled movement. Now it is known that it is the source of sequencing which is the basis of logic, higher level thinking skills and math. When you excercise you burn neural pathways that increase your sequencing skills, thereby making you smarter. A school whose students ran for half an hour before school every morning not only saw obesity almost eliminated, they saw dramatic increases in test scores. So, get moving ladies. Maybe we should make all politicians, business leaders, insurance CEOs, and pundits go out and run every morning. They could use some logic skills. I also read yesterday that 30 minutes of aerobic exercise increases one's sense of well-being for up to 12 hours. I walked over an hour today. In the rain. And I felt good. God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.

Halloween. Tricks and treats. My daughter had a party for a few couples before they and their kids all went trick or treating. My husband and I also attended. I came early to take my grandson David to his indoor soccer game first. David has just turned 5 and just still makes this age group for soccer. He stands a head taller than everyone else. Hysterical. David kicking the ball the wrong way. David, laying down and refusing to get up. David wanting to leave to get a drink of Water in the middle of the game--which I could tell by his cheeks he really needed. David refusing to leave the floor when it was his turn to sit out. David looking everywhere but at the ball. David pushing the other kids. David is mildly autistic and I'm sure most parents had no idea why this big tall kid was being such a pain. I had to walk out onto the floor several times to say to him quietly that he might not get to go trick or treating. Last year my daughter had the coaches permission to stay on the floor with him all the time. He needs the exposure to these situations and the exercise is good for him, but you could just see the processing delays on verbal instructions. Poor kid. However, when he got home his friends came over and then he got to be "Octopus Prime" (aka Optimus Prime from Transformers) and go trick or treating. He handled being with his friends and trick or treating just fine. But the number of people and the noise level and activity of the soccer game were too much for him. His "Octopus" Prime reminded me of a kindergartner I heard singing at school Friday (to the tune of Michael Jackson's Thriller) "Gorilla! Gorilla night!" Picture Gorillas dancing like the zombies in the video. I have to admit I ate several small chocolate candy bars at my daughter's. She had a lot of slider appetizers and I ate some of that without putting it on crackers or tortilla chips and didn't pig out. But I couldn't resist the chocolate bars. I haven't had chocolate bars in months. I'm glad Halloween is over. Next big temptation--Thanksgiving. I have several weeks to recover from October, which contained a 125th Anniversary celebration for Roseland Christian School where I teach, a 40th high school reunion, my college's 50th anniversary celebration at Navy Pier in downtown Chicago, 2 two-day conferences, 2 retreats, David's 5th birthday party at Chucky cheese, and Halloween. I'm happy and consider it somewhat of a miracle to have lost 4 lbs this past month. My fill seems to work well to limit all foods except slider foods. So hopefully November will be mostly slider free.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009 Retreats, Conferences, and Food Been in recovery this week from a retreat last Wednesday from which I drove a couple hours to a hotel for a 2 night stay while attending the Christian Educators Association convention. When done I drove to another overnight retreat for my church. This time I stayed in my sister's cottage on the grounds where the retreat was held. That was great because the previous 2 nights I'd been in a hotel room with 2 other women. We had a great time, but 3 women and one bathroom and sharing a bed with someone not my husband does not lend itself to great sleep. I tried using a roll-away. Made every joint hurt. So I basically retreated into myself after the first session and slept like a log all by myself in a very comfortable bed. Had a washroom to myself. Those who slept in the dorm complained of extreme heat. I actually did not gain on the retreat. I lost 1 lb and another one the day after I got back. I didn't eat perfectly. Had some treats. But I must have really limited my amounts, so I survived quite well. I was really not looking forward to all the sectionals and main speakers, but everything I attended was very good. Don't remember much but it was all good. Some of its coming back to me. I attended a sectional about the brain-friendly classroom. One of the most interesting things to me was the importance of the cerebellum. It used to be thought that the cerebellum only coordinated movement. But its been found that it controls sequencing which is the basis for logic, math, and all higher level thinking skills. A study was done where all the students at a school ran before school and charted their physical progress with blood pressure, heart rate, mileage and all that. At the end of the year only one child remained obese. But amazingly, test scores soared. Excercise stimulates the cerebellum, stimulating sequencing skills. I also read today that excercising for a half an hour creates psychological benefits for up to 12 hours. I wish I could excercise in the morning. There's just not enough time. I think it would help me concentrate more throughout the day. Without my food to medicate my ADHD, I really could use the exercise to help with focus and concentration throughout the day. I do exercise at night but I feel really unfocused lately during the day. 17 lbs to go. I look pretty much within the normal range for my age now, but I'm hoping these last lbs will come off my stomach. I'll have a BMI of 25 which is what I'm supposed to have. My blood sugar was 101 on my last test, down from 126. I'd like it around 90. Then I know I won't have to worry about it anymore. I'm on lapbandtalk with a lot of women who are single and working or who are married and stay at home. Its not that they don't work but they sure seem to have time to post a lot more than me. I think I really need to finish my masters. If my job doesn't make it to next year, it'll give me more options. Not just in teaching but it will also give me as possible consultant or presenter for some of the educational programs I believe in. Or it would give me the credentials to start my own tutoring business. Whatever I do I'd have to make up for losing health insurance. That's the down side. Sure hope the government comes up with a plan soon. What we have now is so unjust and government should be about promoting justice. Not insuring us themselves necessarily, but making insurance companies provide equal coverage without penalties for pre-existings and keeping premiums reasonable both for individuals and businesses and for the unemployed and unemployable. If it weren't for Jesus telling me not to worry about what I will eat, or what I will wear, or any of those things, I might be going crazy. At least I'll be going into my future much more healthy, the Lord willing. So, I am content, no matter what my circumstance. I am content, no matter what my lot. I know what it means to live in want or have plenty. I know the meaning of being content Is I can do all things, through him who strengthens me. Yes. I can do all things. Through him who strengthens me.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009 Retreats, Conferences, and Food Been in recovery this week from a retreat last Wednesday from which I drove a couple hours to a hotel for a 2 night stay while attending the Christian Educators Association convention. When done I drove to another overnight retreat for my church. This time I stayed in my sister's cottage on the grounds where the retreat was held. That was great because the previous 2 nights I'd been in a hotel room with 2 other women. We had a great time, but 3 women and one bathroom and sharing a bed with someone not my husband does not lend itself to great sleep. I tried using a roll-away. Made every joint hurt. So I basically retreated into myself after the first session and slept like a log all by myself in a very comfortable bed. Had a washroom to myself. Those who slept in the dorm complained of extreme heat. I actually did not gain on the retreat. I lost 1 lb and another one the day after I got back. I didn't eat perfectly. Had some treats. But I must have really limited my amounts, so I survived quite well. I was really not looking forward to all the sectionals and main speakers, but everything I attended was very good. Don't remember much but it was all good. Some of its coming back to me. I attended a sectional about the brain-friendly classroom. One of the most interesting things to me was the importance of the cerebellum. It used to be thought that the cerebellum only coordinated movement. But its been found that it controls sequencing which is the basis for logic, math, and all higher level thinking skills. A study was done where all the students at a school ran before school and charted their physical progress with blood pressure, heart rate, mileage and all that. At the end of the year only one child remained obese. But amazingly, test scores soared. Excercise stimulates the cerebellum, stimulating sequencing skills. I also read today that excercising for a half an hour creates psychological benefits for up to 12 hours. I wish I could excercise in the morning. There's just not enough time. I think it would help me concentrate more throughout the day. Without my food to medicate my ADHD, I really could use the exercise to help with focus and concentration throughout the day. I do exercise at night but I feel really unfocused lately during the day. 17 lbs to go. I look pretty much within the normal range for my age now, but I'm hoping these last lbs will come off my stomach. I'll have a BMI of 25 which is what I'm supposed to have. My blood sugar was 101 on my last test, down from 126. I'd like it around 90. Then I know I won't have to worry about it anymore. I'm on lapbandtalk with a lot of women who are single and working or who are married and stay at home. Its not that they don't work but they sure seem to have time to post a lot more than me. I think I really need to finish my masters. If my job doesn't make it to next year, it'll give me more options. Not just in teaching but it will also give me as possible consultant or presenter for some of the educational programs I believe in. Or it would give me the credentials to start my own tutoring business. Whatever I do I'd have to make up for losing health insurance. That's the down side. Sure hope the government comes up with a plan soon. What we have now is so unjust and government should be about promoting justice. Not insuring us themselves necessarily, but making insurance companies provide equal coverage without penalties for pre-existings and keeping premiums reasonable both for individuals and businesses and for the unemployed and unemployable. If it weren't for Jesus telling me not to worry about what I will eat, or what I will wear, or any of those things, I might be going crazy. At least I'll be going into my future much more healthy, the Lord willing. So, I am content, no matter what my circumstance. I am content, no matter what my lot. I know what it means to live in want or have plenty. I know the meaning of being content Is I can do all things, through him who strengthens me. Yes. I can do all things. Through him who strengthens me.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009 Taking a Break, Getting Back on Track. Catch up post. I'm going to be gone for four days at 2 retreats as well as 2 days of conferences. I was at conferences 2 days last week and I've already been at one long meeting after school this week. My food was off last week but I'm getting it back on track. Almost a month of gray skies, cold weather and off and on rain do not help me cope with food. I still managed to get out and excercise but it was hard. I made it through to my reunions and the 125th anniversary celebration for Roseland Christian School at the weight I wanted to reach, but then it was like I needed a break. If I can get back on track, that will make a change from past periods of weight loss. Also trying to velcro my butt to the seat at those conferences was really hard, too. Food usually helps me do that. Candy all over, difficult meals to deal with, Halloween candy at home. However, I'm getting some extraordinary compliments. Fifty pounds off and long hair flipped up in a new style had my stepdaughter, one of my pastors, and some co-workers telling me I looked incredible. My stepdaughter kept repeating, "You're beautiful. Just Beautiful." Good incentive to get back on track with the food.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009 Taking a Break, Getting Back on Track. Catch up post. I'm going to be gone for four days at 2 retreats as well as 2 days of conferences. I was at conferences 2 days last week and I've already been at one long meeting after school this week. My food was off last week but I'm getting it back on track. Almost a month of gray skies, cold weather and off and on rain do not help me cope with food. I still managed to get out and excercise but it was hard. I made it through to my reunions and the 125th anniversary celebration for Roseland Christian School at the weight I wanted to reach, but then it was like I needed a break. If I can get back on track, that will make a change from past periods of weight loss. Also trying to velcro my butt to the seat at those conferences was really hard, too. Food usually helps me do that. Candy all over, difficult meals to deal with, Halloween candy at home. However, I'm getting some extraordinary compliments. Fifty pounds off and long hair flipped up in a new style had my stepdaughter, one of my pastors, and some co-workers telling me I looked incredible. My stepdaughter kept repeating, "You're beautiful. Just Beautiful." Good incentive to get back on track with the food.

Conferences, Retreats, ADHD, and Food Sun broke out when I got home tonight and its warmer so I had a nice walk. But I'm aching. I really prefer walking in the morning, I don't hurt nearly as much as I do when I walk after work. Gotta do my laundry. Didn't get to it last night and I need it for my retreat tomorrow, my conferences Thurs. and Fri., and my retreat Friday night and Saturday.Aargh. Sleeping in hotels, sitting through long presentations. I'm going to have to velcro my butt to the seat to get thru some of this. I get a fill next Tues. I can really tell I need one again. I can eat dense meats in much larger quantities and no trouble eating anything else except bread. I need more clothes but am in between a 16 and a 14. Don't want to spend till I'm down. Shopping--I'm a Kohls and thrift store shopper. I know Kohls well and they've always got deals going. I don't like thrift store shopping but I can afford it. I pretty much dislike shopping. I also hate manicures and purses. I never get my hair done. I cut and style it myself. I dislike shopping for Christmas, too. Shopping overwhelms me. Online seems like an unbelievable hassle to me. Everytime I've ever ordered something from a catelog I've ended up returning it. That's more work than I care to do. I buy one practical leather purse, as small as I can get away with, and use it till it falls apart. I only wear the most comfortable shoes, stuff like sketchers. I've never been fond of heels, pointed toes, or boots (unless they're for walking thru snow). I think it has a lot to do with ADHD. I have no patience for shopping, or watching a hairdresser butcher my hair while I'm stuck in a seat, or not doing anything for hours while waiting for a manicure that will only be good for a day to dry. Forget pedicures. Not relaxing. Make me unbelievably tense. I feel totally trapped with all those things. Feeling trapped makes me want to eat. I am also no domestic goddess. I avoid crafts like the plague. My closets overflow. I seldom cook, or entertain, or clean. I crave being outdoors. Teaching is a great occupation for me because I don't have to sit still and I'm constantly changing what I'm doing. Food helps me sit and get through stuff. It quite literally drugs me. I've got 4 days of sitting ahead of me and I've got to try to do it without food. My band is no longer providing much restriction. So this will not be easy--4 days of sitting. I'd actually rather be teaching.

Conferences, Retreats, ADHD, and Food Sun broke out when I got home tonight and its warmer so I had a nice walk. But I'm aching. I really prefer walking in the morning, I don't hurt nearly as much as I do when I walk after work. Gotta do my laundry. Didn't get to it last night and I need it for my retreat tomorrow, my conferences Thurs. and Fri., and my retreat Friday night and Saturday.Aargh. Sleeping in hotels, sitting through long presentations. I'm going to have to velcro my butt to the seat to get thru some of this. I get a fill next Tues. I can really tell I need one again. I can eat dense meats in much larger quantities and no trouble eating anything else except bread. I need more clothes but am in between a 16 and a 14. Don't want to spend till I'm down. Shopping--I'm a Kohls and thrift store shopper. I know Kohls well and they've always got deals going. I don't like thrift store shopping but I can afford it. I pretty much dislike shopping. I also hate manicures and purses. I never get my hair done. I cut and style it myself. I dislike shopping for Christmas, too. Shopping overwhelms me. Online seems like an unbelievable hassle to me. Everytime I've ever ordered something from a catelog I've ended up returning it. That's more work than I care to do. I buy one practical leather purse, as small as I can get away with, and use it till it falls apart. I only wear the most comfortable shoes, stuff like sketchers. I've never been fond of heels, pointed toes, or boots (unless they're for walking thru snow). I think it has a lot to do with ADHD. I have no patience for shopping, or watching a hairdresser butcher my hair while I'm stuck in a seat, or not doing anything for hours while waiting for a manicure that will only be good for a day to dry. Forget pedicures. Not relaxing. Make me unbelievably tense. I feel totally trapped with all those things. Feeling trapped makes me want to eat. I am also no domestic goddess. I avoid crafts like the plague. My closets overflow. I seldom cook, or entertain, or clean. I crave being outdoors. Teaching is a great occupation for me because I don't have to sit still and I'm constantly changing what I'm doing. Food helps me sit and get through stuff. It quite literally drugs me. I've got 4 days of sitting ahead of me and I've got to try to do it without food. My band is no longer providing much restriction. So this will not be easy--4 days of sitting. I'd actually rather be teaching.

My nutritionist allowed snacks. It helps me get thru. Especially now that my band is tighter and I can't always eat enough at meals. I do get first bite syndrome sometimes. Or it may take a few more bites, but I'll get pain and and some pbing unless I take very, very small bites and chew thoroughly and swallow only a little at a time. I think I'm pretty close to my sweet spot. However, the sweet spot changes as you lose weight because the band loosens. I have 17 more lbs to go and that might require another fill if the band loosens again.