ifyourstomachoffendsyou

Eva, Very touching story about your MIL. Very few people make it out of their addictions. The ones that do usually have a good support group of others with the same addictions. And most follow the 12 steps to do it. Good for your MIL. I've noticed that many of us on this thread have some acquaintance with the 12 steps. I myself have attended many Alanon, OA, and open AA meetings where non-alcoholics can listen to an AA member tell their story. Sharing your story is a huge part of recovery. We try to be open and honest in our sharing on this thread, not just about our food slips and successes, but about those things happening in our lives that could drive us into the food. We also trust each other with our emotions which makes us very vulnerable. Yet sometimes we need to carefront each other and hold each other accountable. That's where it gets tricky. We don't want to come off judgemental but to sensitive people, we just might. We offer advice or options but we need to know that the other person might feel like they're being controlled. I always try to remember "take what you like and leave the rest." Cheri

Oh good! I was afraid I'd have to do a Janet on you. Whip you with a wet noodle. LOL Cheri

Laura, Congrats on the tooth. Isn't it amazing how as food addict mothers we transfer our addiction to our kids? He probably lost part of that weight with all the walking and playing he did in Paris. Arlene, even though that white chocolate pudding is SF the fruit is not. You're getting a lot of carbs if you're using that much fruit. As low as your metabolism is I would think you really need to limit your carbs. Where's the protein? Do you add it to your shakes? Talking about protein, my daughter is trying to up her protein and limit her carbs but so many protein drinks and mixes have fake sugar in them and she doesn't want any of that. What protein mixes have no sugar and no fake sugar? Well we finally had rain--two nights in a row. It absolutely poured. Flash floods and standing water! It's finally cooler today. Lower 80's. We have our Reconciliation Celebration this evening featuring all kinds of ethnic foods and then a music celebration with Hispanic, Chinese, African/American, and Comtemporary(white) Christian music featured. I'm doing some back-up singing and just found out I'm taking my almost 4 yr old GD with. There's outdoor jump and slide blow-up play things for her. She makes friends easily so I'll find some kid for her to sit with when I have to sing. Cheri

Julie, your recap was really helpful to me. I'd just skimmed 7 pp and didn't know as much as you. LOL. I agree with Laura about why your Dr. might have dropped you. You always have to see a Dr. before getting a script for a controlled substance, you can't just call in for it, and it may have looked to her like you were playing her when you called in and said your pain Dr. hadn't prescribed a refill. Has she also given you advice that you haven't followed? It could be a combo of little things, but Drs. get hurt feelings just like the rest of us humans. I think I'd send her a Thank You note for all the things she's done for you and an apology for whatever you might have done that caused her to terminate the relationship. Keep it that simple. I call it the "heaping burning coals of fire on their head" approach to dealing with people who've hurt you. Take the high road and they will feel shame for taking the low road. I learned in Alanon that I should apologize for my part in things (even if I'm not sure what that part is) and not expect the other person to apologize back or forgive me. I now have a clear conscience and am free to forgive them (whether they ask for it or not). I forgive for my own sake just as I apologized for my own sake. The ball is then in the other person's court as to whether they want to repair the relationship or not. I've done everything I can and can walk away without obsessing over it. To the newbie getting new knees. I had double knee replacement 5 or 6 yrs. ago and am doing fantastically. Totally worth it. Get in the water and strengthen those knees with water walking forward and backward and with kicking. The better shape your muscles are in, the faster you will rebound from surgery. We've been hot and humid without much needed rain for a couple of weeks. 95 at least today. No clouds or haze, but a strong hot wind. A sprinkle this evening and hopefully storms tomorrow morning will bring some relief to the scorched earth. I've been teaching mornings and taking care of grandkids afternoons and evenings. I'm beat! Stayed up late tonight so I can sleep in tomorrow morning. I'll probably still only sleep 7 or 8 hours but it will still feel luxurious to not be up and at 'em by 6 a.m. Think I'll soak in a hot bubble bath tomorrow too, despite the heat outside. I need to relax my muscles and joints and let them heal. Cheri

Phyll, congrats on bandiversary. Gotta go to bed. Cheri

Laura K, congrats on bandiversary. You're doing great Welcome newbies. Don't play with the band. You should not suddenly after 6 wks start pbing unless you've changed what and how you're eating and are gaining weight, or you need a Dr. to assess things. Go for the unfill. Welcome back Apples. Eva, sprinklers were not installed in this older home's yard in an old town famous for being one of Al Capone's hangouts. My yard's not really big enough to justify it. Love the doggie stories but sorry for your loss Jodi. Love your all. Sorry I can't respond to everyone. Cheri

Hi all. Waiting for rain. Really dry after a very wet June. Overcast finally but no rain. I hate watering. Laura, am so jealous about Paris. Great pics. You look like such a neat family. Genuinely happy and relaxed. Melissa, keep on hangin on. Gotta go move the sprinkler. Cheri

Hip hip hooray, Hip hip hooray, Hip hip hooray. Two years for our fearless leader. Whoo-hoo! Students at my school use the term "haters" for people who put others down. And you're right, you don't need them in your life. Atta girl. I just bought a size 12 long swimsuit. I hate that my saggy baggy arms show and my saggy baggy thighs and all my varicose veins (who needs tatoo's? I've already got plenty of blue and red ink). I love swimming and was a lifeguard and certified water safety instructor. I taught swimming for years. I actually went public yesterday and swam a little. I have to be cautious because swimming can irritate my fragile neck, but it went pretty well and I felt pretty good. May get a gym membership so I can swim in the evenings during the winter when I can't always walk. They do have a walking track there but that's free. However, I need to vary my exercise a little. I don't like the fact that their pool is on the cold side. Not good for my arthritis or muscles. But its only 2 mi. from my house. I just have to not care about my looks in a suit and be satisfied with a 20 minute workout. Any longer than that and I get too chilled. And that was before I lost 75 lbs. Laura, glad you're having such a great time. And thanks for the info. I was getting my information second hand and couldn't imagine how amniotic fluid was gettting into her system and lungs. I believe the amniotic fluid was considered the cause of her seizures and her lungs filling with amniotic fluid. I'm glad to know it had a name and that it wasn't a medical error. She was at Northwestern Hospital which is a topnotch hospital. Cheri

Julie I think you're staying with Joyce and me. I get in on frontier mid-morning on Friday, I think. Janet must have put her yorkie on FB cause I haven't read about it on here. So Phyll and Janet's furbabies can be friends too. Busy day, had a funeral to go to this morning after teaching. Former aide at Roseland who also coached cheerleading died. She was 29. She was 6 months pregnant and went for an ultrasound because she could tell something was wrong. The baby was in distress and it was discovered that the brain was outside the skull and the frontal lobe was missing. It was decided to deliver the fetus. Somehow she had a seizure possibly before the delivery of the child and then again after. Somehow, amniotic fluid was getting into her system. She died. Huge funeral today. There'd also been a problem with her family of origin who didn't show up despite numerous phone calls until after she died. They hadn't been there for her for a long time and she'd "adopted a mom," also connected with Roseland Christian, with whom she'd been staying for a number of years and who was helping her raise her 2 yr old baby. Well, the baby got removed by the police from this adopted mom's home after a phone call from a "concerned" relative. Totally unnecessary. The relatives excluded the "adopted" mom and her family from any meaningful participation in the service. The pastor started the service and repeated an admonition that we were there to honor Tatiana and there would be peace or we would be dishonoring her. So the funeral went well and the family had their own repast at a restaurant and the "adopted" mom had a repast at Roseland Christian which she catered herself, because that's one of the way's she supports herself. The whole situation was just horrible, but the service was wonderful. They never did have the wake ahead of time because when the family viewed the remains before the public was let in they were horrified by her appearance and fell apart and cancelled the viewing. They hadn't seen her for months and she'd been through a lot. So there was confusion at the church and the service was delayed a half an hour. After the service, with only the family present, the dead baby was put in the casket with his mother. Just tragic, and messed up. Hopefully, the beautiful service and the admonitions of Tatiana's pastor will start the healing process. People were not allowed to come to the pulpit and reminisce about Tatiana. Resolutions were read from the church, her former church, the social club to which she belonged, and from Roseland Christian School. That kept everything dignified and eliminated all the high drama that had been going on. My brother-in-law is getting very close to dieing. I expect to get a phone call within a month or two. Maybe not even that long. I'm so glad that to the best of their ability my sister and her husband tried to live in peace and with love to all members of their respective families. There will be no high drama with his death. Just an assurance that Jim is now with God and our sorrow is not for him but for the hole he has left in our lives. My sister has been under enormous strain as she is a physician and her partner was on vacation and her PA went through a bunch of tests and is waiting to have her aneurysm treated. So she's had no one to back her up in the office or take her calls. Her RA is acting up again as are her eyes. Right now, I can really see that I'd rather be on my side of the grass. Cheri

Wow! Very few or very short posts today! Booster seats in the back seat for Grandma. Love it. Eva, isn't the work issue because another company's taking over? I'm 58 and thinking I'm never going to be able to retire. Can't live on Soc. Sec. and you get less if you retire at 62 and no medicare. Don't get full amount until 66. The little we had in retirement accounts got shredded by the economy. With teachers getting laid off all over Chicagoland in the public schools and private schools I might have to go to N Dakota to get a job. I hear they're thriving there. But I'd rather go someplace warm. I really am seriously thinking about the RV thing and staying all over the country or going back and forth like Phyll. Phyll are you in your RV or in a house now that you're back in the great NW? I'd pay my kids to keep a room in their house for Ken and I to visit, but they all live in small houses. Oh well. Who knows what the future holds? Only God. What's that saying? "The past is history, tomorrow's a mystery, but today is a present" so I better enjoy it while I have it. Cheri

Nice Janet. I like that. It's a systems overhaul. Thanks, everyone, for the support. I expect some situations with my Dad are going to be funny. Like the time he was talking to the wife of my former DH for 20 minutes and didn't realize who she was and didn't recognize my ex sitting right next to her. Or the time he was watching a basketball game and started expressing to my BIL that there really ought to be a rule against long hair in the NBA and my BIL glanced over to see what he was watching and said, " Well, Dad, that's a girl's team you're watching."

JB--No bf! Fo shuh! My mom's 77. My Dad's 81. They both drive super slow and overly cautious. And some of their worst traits are coming back as their brains deteriorate. Actually, my Dad is diagnosed with early Alzheimer's and told my mother not to tell anyone so she kept the secret for a year until the Dr.s said he needed to restrict his driving and she needed to start watching him more closely. I'm totally exasperated with her suffering victim mentality and I'm really going to have to keep a lid on my own anger when he makes judgemental or bossy statements. I live the closest of the siblings and I'm the least able to deal with them. We've (my siblings and I) got an e-mail chain going with my mom on the various issues. My brother Scott's going to come out from Michigan and sit down with my dad and tell him we all know (officially anyway, we've known for some time that his memory is going so my mother's handwringing tearful announcement was no shock) and he's also going to talk to him and reinforce the Dr.'s driving restrictions. Scott's the only one who's ever been able to tell my dad anything and get through to him. That's because he's a male and a Dr. and he doesn't get mad. He just laughs at my Dad and makes a joke. Once he tells Dad we all know (which will, hopefully, keep Dad from getting mad at Mom) then I'm going to tell my children because they're all in the area and can help with phone calls and drop ins for wellness checks. My dad loves little kids and is at his best with them, so I'll ask them to start dropping in with my grandchildren. The Dr (my Dad's) said arguing with my Dad was useless as he won't remember anyway, and, he'll get angry because his cognitive skills are declining and he won't be able to hold his own in an argument and will turn to anger. So like my brother Scott commented, "It took four specialists and a ton of testing to let us know it doesn't do any good to argue with Dad." LOL. Snorted when I read that. We could have told them that. Cheri

Janet, figured you and Karen would get a kick out of the good cop/bad cop thing. Couldn't say that to anyone overly sensitive. But I threw in guardian angels so you'd know I was teasing you. llkb4me, be careful. Sometimes I wish I'd never gotten married again. When you love someone you give them enormous power to hurt you. I really have to practice detachment--love them but don't idolize them, care about them but don't take care of them, at least not stuff they should be responsible for themselves (like trying to fix their feelings). When they act like an idiot or say stupid things walk away and go do something you like to do. If they meant harm, let them see they have no power over you to hurt you. Then they have to sit there in their own shame. If they didn't mean harm then you haven't created a mountain out of a molehill with your reaction. If they continue the behavior then you have to carefront them and it takes practice to carefront rather than confront. I'm not so good at it. But living in denial that they're trying to hurt you-usually in order to control you in some way-isn't healthy. There's such a fine line between carefronting and confronting, but if its important, then I have to take the risk. Letting someone know that this is how you felt when they did that or said this is important. Not for them, but for you. Otherwise its stuff your feelings, stuff your face. The same with forgiveness. You do it for yourself, not for the other person because if you don't, you're only hurting yourself and the pain will drive you into the food. Cheri

Hi Apples! Glad you're back. Now that's two of you. Apples and Janet, together again. Good cop/bad cop. Carrot/stick. It's the Dynamic Duo. Our guardian angels have returned. Cheri

Phyll, got a contact high from mj once. Newly married at 19, went to a Joan Baez concert. Very smokey. Don't remember much of the concert. Just wanted to sleep. My husband told me later that all the smoke was mj. Never understood the attraction. I'm enough of a space cadet without the addition of drugs and alcohol. Cheri

Just get me to the plane in time for my ride home. Actually, I did get sick from drinking 1 time. My first husband and I were at my uncle and aunt's house in Milwaukee (both of whom turned out to be confirmed alcoholics-they divorced after she tried to set the bed on fire-with him in it). We hadn't had lunch and they took us to a brewery where we sampled the beer. Then we went to their house and sipped on wine well into the evening before they grilled some brats soaked in beer. I think I had one Southern Comfort Manhatten thrown in there too. Next morning, bright and early, with the sun shining in through uncovered windows, I finally gave up trying to sleep and went in the bathroom and stuck my fingers down my throat. The brats hadn't digested-just pickled. TMI I know, but funny. I actually told that story at my uncle's intervention. My husband, who ended up with an alcohol problem himself, started drinking Southern Comfort a lot after that. I had a five month old baby with me and I decided I'd never again drink that much. I don't think she liked the taste of my breast milk the next day either. So that's my drunk story. Once in a while I don't mind getting a nice buzz if I'm not driving anywhere. But I am not at all fond of headaches and throwing up. Cheri

jb, LOL. I can understand your temporary insanity. Food is one of life's main pleasures. We get the lapband partly to prolong our lives but if we knew we weren't going to live anyway? I think I'd gorge on chocolate. Don't need an unfill for that. Would you also go for mind-blowing sex? I've never been really plastered in my life, just a little buzzed, maybe I'd want to experience that. Or maybe I'd spend the day praying for healing and more time. I think I'd want to talk to my whole family, though, and love on them and be loved on--while eating chocolate. LOL Cheri

Lori, Congrats on the grandparent thing. My kids call me Gramma Cheri to distinguish me from other grandparents. I like Gramma. Got to see 4 grandchildren yesterday. Two boys during the afternoon and 2 girls at night. Totally different play. The boys played and fought over cars and loved water balloons and squirt guns. The 3 yr. old kept saying "poopy pants" to the 5 yr old while we were in the car and they kept laughing uproariously. The girls played dress up and we did go out on gd's new swingset, and they played cooking meals with gd's "kitchen". Both girls would come and tell me very nicely when the other one wouldn't share or take turns. The boys were much more likely to duke it out. LOL. My DIL called this morning to thank me for babysitting and to tell me that my GD cried this morning when she realized that I wasn't still there. She fell asleep in my arms last night. I don't get to see that GD all that often so that was really special. Got a wedding of a co-worker to go to this afternoon. Gotta shower and give myself a pedi. As far as gray hair, I know some women around my age with beautiful gray hair or salt and pepper hair. They are gorgeous and I don't think it makes them look older, just elegant. I think it depends on the color of the gray, and the features and skin tone etc. of the person. I don't like the way permanant dye damages my hair. I'm wearing it really long and I apply a glaze after shampooing that puts a little yellow into my gray. Under most lights, my hair looks like its been heavily hi-lighted with ash-blonde. I never have roots. Sometimes it looks more gray, especially when I wear gray and silver, but my glasses are silver and when I put on silver jewelry, my hair is becomes another accessory. When I put it up it looks grayer; when I let it down it looks more blonde. Actually its kind of fun. It's multi-colored which is a very natural look which I like better than the all-one color that you tend to get when you dye your hair. So its a personal choice. Cheri

So, Wednesday night the promotions committee was supposed to have a conference call at 7:30 p.m. I told them I was likely to forget and I did. I was home, but I was totally engrossed in a book. Who does conference calls at 7:30 at night? I'm lucky to remember to attend meetings at night. If something's part of my weekly schedule I'll remember it but stuff that happens once a month? At night? After work? Aargh! Fortunately, this is a volunteer committee and they're quite capable of making decisions without me. This was after my hard first morning doing Interactive Metronome. It went a little better today. Back at it on Monday. Got a call from someone else who wants tutoring for their son. Not quite sure where to fit him in since he lives near me and doesn't go to Roseland Christian. I go in to Roseland to tutor my students but he'd come to my house and my husband sleeps most days. Today, after 3 Interactive Metronome sessions (my grandson being the last one), I took both my grandson's so my daughter could get some work done. That's our arrangement. She comes out to Lansing IL. to drop David off, gets some nearby shopping done, then drops Josh off, too, and I keep both boys with me and take them home with me. The lawyer she works for is fairly close and the police officers and witnesses she needs to interview are also in nearby Hammond and sometimes Calumet City as many crimes are committed on State Line and can go back and forth. Her lawyer defends Hammond police officers from nuisance suits from those they've arrested. As a former Hammond police officer and with a husband still on the force, my daughter serves as an investigator for him with these suits. At first my daughter didn't want to come out here (she lives 45 minutes south of Thornton, Lansing, Hammond, Calumet City, but I made it a win/win for David who needs the therapy by offering to take her boys while she gets some work done when I'm done training David. I had fun with them today. McDonald's play place, then the park by my house, then water balloons and squirt guns, then the DQ. Now I'm off to pick up a granddaughter and take her to my other granddaughter's house to babysit this evening. They are so cute together. They're about a year apart. Skylar will be 4 in August and Leah will be 3 in September. I am reading all your posts. Great you are a great shopper for sure. Glad about the grass. Joyce, can't wait to meet you, also. Julie, can't wait for you to get to Mayo. Charlene, when you eat real food don't just limit the quantity. Check the salt content. Your apparant weight gain could be from water retention. Also, if you're combining carbs with meat protein, you'll store the fat. If you don't have the carbs, the fat gets metabolized and used up. That's why its protein first then veggies and maybe a little fruit when you're in the weight loss phase. You even have to limit your whole grains because they still do break down into sugar, often have salt in them, and they're often combined with things that have fat, which you then store as well as the water. Cheri

Honesty. Had a huge chocolate binge yesterday. Was feeling overwhelmed by all the commitments I've made and by the Interactive Metronome training. Technology can make me feel incompetent and I've a lot of technology with the training I'm doing. Met 2 of my students and their mothers for the first time. I almost feel like I'm practicing on them and they really shouldn't be charged for the first week. Wish I'd had access to the equipment earlier and had been able to practice on a few children. Now I've got homework for tomorrow's session with these kids. Everyday I do this is different from the last session as we progress through the program, so I'm going to be out of my comfort zone for 4 to 5 weeks. Being ADHD but also very school smart has led to a lot of feelings of incompetence in my life. I mean, how can I be so smart and still drive away with my purse on top of my car? How can I get "A's" and have my locker stuff fall out on top of me? Etc. I try to focus on the gifts of ADHD, like the creativity and flexibility and lack of rigidity that goes with my form of ADHD, but doing the Interactive Metronome yesterday brought out all those old feelings of incompetence. Getting back on track today. Writing helped me figure out what made me eat. Sharing makes me feel like I'm not alone. I have people who understand--and maybe even laugh with me and not at me. Cheri

Janet, we're all dieing to know, "How cold was it?" Parkas! Blankets! Gloves! in July? Were you just all desert rats out of your element? I'm expecting Vegas to still be hot Oct. 1. They wear white all year round? I have an all white outfit that I really like. First day of teaching Interactive Metronome. Only kids who's going to be a problem is my grandson, David, the autistic 5 yr. old. I'm going to have to modify all the execises to only 30 seconds long. And have a dollar store reward for every exercise completed. I'll have to have him clapping on a different object of interest with every game. But he's worth it. Cheri

Las Vegas counts as a foreign country, doesn't it?

You want to hear God laugh? Tell him your plans. I went outside to move the sprinkler and go for a walk but the sky started sprinkling, I heard distant thunder, and then the heavens were opened and poured more rain in 15 minutes than I sprinkled all afternoon. LOL. So, no walk tonight. I don't sleep well if I walk too late in the evening. So I continued doing my training on the IM. I think I'm ready for tomorrow. I'll get up early and go through everything I have to do on the computer as a final run through. First student at 8 a.m., then another at 9 a.m. and another at 10--my grandson. Great food today. Being busy all day and all evening really helps. I also haven't been around food. My house has no treats. Really helps. Cheri

Linda, We're the same age and that would be my 8 yr. plan also. Except my husband is 5 yrs. older than me so we'll have to see where we're at when I'm 62 whether I can take early retirement or not. We might keep a permanant lot here where the kids live which would allow us to work part-time and travel when we felt like it. Man proposes, God disposes, or The best laid plans of mice and men have all gone agley (haywire). One never knows. Having a plan is good as long as its not set in concrete. Another really hot day with humidity. But windy. Clouding over. May have a storm. I'm watering my grass today because of the week of high temps and no rain. I can't believe I'm going to be working every day of the week into August. I won't have much time off before the next school year starts. But I like to be busy and I like being out of the house. Actually helps keep me from eating. Boredom is a huge hunger trigger for me. And I do love tutoring and during the summer I do more one on one stuff which I really enjoy. My groups during the school year tend to range from 6-12 students which makes giving the kids the individual instruction they need a lot harder. THink I'll walk and then get back on learning the Interactive Metronome for tomorrow's first session of tutoring on it. I'm beginning to feel more competent on it and confident I can handle it. Cheri

Pam, do please follow through with the Dr.s apptmt. Persistant pain can lead to over-eating and the throwing up can't be too good for your band. Melissa, I know you are a woman of faith, so I suggest that you pray first for the Lord's guidance, and that you trust that he will provide for all your needs no matter what happens. I know its scary to stand up for yourself when you need the income so badly and are afraid you'll lose your job if you speak up. But it is not God's will for your life for you to be miserable nor does he want you to be a doormat. Quite the contrary. He wants you to be the best Melissa you can be. To that end, you probably need to do something. If you're afraid to speak out, how about writing down what you need to say? Perhaps the best way is to just leave when you've done your 8 hrs no matter what is left undone. I'm sure a lot of what you do is not a priority. Get the most important and the most urgent things done. Then, if there's time, work on the less important or not urgent things.If your boss questions you about it just say there was no time and you'll get at it when there is-or when they pay you overtime to do it. Some people keep a log of everything they did and how much time they spent doing it. When your boss demands to know why you didn't get at something, show her the log. If you got interrupted to do another task, make sure your note that in your log. Give the log to HR and to your boss everyday if need be. You may need to sit down with HR and your boss to list all the things you're responsible for and ask your boss to prioritize what actually needs to be done that day and in what order. Treat it as a problem you need to resolve together. If you get your boss' input, she'll more likely cooperate. I had a great weekend. I cancelled all tutoring Monday because that's my husband's day off. We went to see "Knight and Day." It was good. I like action flicks and this one was funny, too. But with the new technology and people's faces magnified in sharp detail, you could really see every pore, pimple, and wrinkle. I feel sorry for today's actresses. We also ate dinner at a restaurant on a lakefront and spent some time reading at Border's. I don't like to buy books that are expensive, but I'll "visit" them while having a cup of coffee. I went to my daughter on Saturday and kept her 3 and 5 yr. old sons occupied while she got some work done. We finished that evening by going to my sister's cottage which is less than a mile away and we went out on their boat onto the lake to see fireworks. I also took in a parade on Sunday afternoon (hotter than blazes out) with them and then after Josh's nap we all went to the local Cedar Lake mini-fest. It was wrist band day (unlimited rides for $15) and she took one kid and I took the other on age-appropriate rides. It was a nice 4th and very, very hot which is pretty much the case this time of the year. Linda, I can't wait till our Illinois sweet corn comes in. I love the bi-colored. Nothing like home-grown eaten the same day its picked. Yum! The corn was more than knee-high by the 4th of July with all the rain we've had and now the heat.