ifyourstomachoffendsyou

Wow, Linda, Does that mean you have a grand-daughter you don't know? Its amazing how so many kids who, when they have a parent who basically abandons them for alcohol and/or drugs, grow up to repeat that pattern, leaving the people who actually loved them and raised them and did not abandon them heartbroken. Something inside them is broken and doesn't seem fixable. Dieing needlessly is another form of abandonment. Let's pray that your daughter not only recovers, but that this becomes a life-changing experience for her and the wake-up call she needs to break the generational chains that bind her. God bless you and keep you and your loved ones safe. It's a testament to the love you've shown Aylah and the time you've invested in her that she's so contented in your home. Cheri

Oh man! Thank God Aylah has you! How old is you DSD? Children are growing up later and later. Some of it is our fault, we don't give them enough responsibility and give them too many of the things they want instead of making them work hard to earn it. Some of it is society and their friends whose parents may give them way more than we do and our kids are angry because they think they should have the same. It's this sense of entitlement. And now scientists are telling us kids brains don't mature until they're at least 25 and they don't fully have the ability to foresee the consequences of their actions. Now they have an excuse. But I was married at the age of 19 and pregnant by the end of my college career. So I had my education in place and loved having my 3 babies. I felt grown up. My kids were my job. I was married and my husband made enough that we did fine. But our 2 income economy just to make ends meet, or to have all our wants instead of just meeting our needs, huge increase in divorce, and so many women having to raise kids by themselves while working their a$$ off just to keep their heads above Water, have made it so difficult to give our kids what they need. Out of guilt we overcompensate by giving them what they want and not making them earn the things we give them. At least, I know I did, to a certain extent. So now I try to be there for my grandchildren. Sometimes I feel like I'm trying to make up for what I've done wrong with my own kids. Fortunately, although they all have issues, they all took responsibility for their lives, are married, have children, hold down a living wage, and are raising their children in the church. I know better than to look to them for affirmation. I tend to be the target of their humor if they're all together at once, so family reunions are not my favorite things. My daughter is not my best friend. She still pops off at me too much for me to ever feel safe around her. Actually, except for my youngest son, my two older kids make me feel the way I did around their father. Just when I let down my guard and think things are going well, bam! I realize I'll never be able to really let down my guard with them. My youngest is more easy going and less likely to attack me verbally or criticize my decisions and choices. He may not agree with me but he's more like me in hating conflict and drama and choosing not to create it. But compared to many of your kids issues and the responsibilities you've been left with, I actually have it very good. Charlene, meat is a big part of the Protein I get. eggs make me pb and I get tired of whey protein. I only drink one Protein Drink a day. Vegetable Proteins like soy are not complete proteins and don't give you enough of the nutrients you need. Protein stops me from being hungry and keeps my cravings at bay. I make sure that some of my protein is meat, usually chicken or tuna, some red meat. I've also really found that I need to vary the amount I eat. I can eat over 1200 calories one or two days including more carbs, and then drop to 1000 or less for a few sticking to protein and I either maintain or lose even more. I really believe that long periods of time where we eat under 1200 calories a day screws up our metabolism and no matter how little we eat and how much we exercise we can't lose. I really hear you on the getting off the floor thing. I have two fake knees which makes it even harder. It'll never be easy for me but I can turn from sitting on my butt to get my foot under me with my hands on the floor and lift myself up from that position without grabbing onto anything. NSV. I seldom drink. It just doesnt' occur to me. But because I've cut back to almost no anti-inflammatories, my muscles and joints tend to be in a lot of pain by the end of work, especially my neck from doing paperwork and bending over kids. Tonight we went out to eat right after work and I had two flavored vodka martinis laced with some really luscious liqueurs. They were called Stress Busters. After the first drink, my muscles in my neck and shoulders relaxed and the pain was gone. So I had another one. They trulyl lived up to their name. Made my husband drive home. LOL. Can't do that often but after a week revising my schedule daily, planning a Meet and Greet, and suffering from 90+ humidity and 90+ heat all week, it felt really good. Wish drugs worked on my pain and muscles the way that alcohol did without any side effects. Easy to see how chronic pain can make us turn to whatever will alleviate it, from food to drugs to alcohol. Well--big weekend. I'm going to my son's cottage in MI this Sunday. Never been, two and a half hour drive by myself. Might take my granddaughter Skylar to play with my granddaughter Leah. Then home again Monday morning. Tomorrow, my Dh and I might go to Navy Pier and walk to the Gold Coast and back to Navy Pier for some dancing. Last Hurrah before school begins in earnest. Looking forward to our Oct. 1 meeting. Cheri

Janet, the whole Andrew thing has me laughing. He so wants you to be sad and upset and miss him. When I was getting remarried and my DS had one more year of college I basically paid him to leave. Gave him enough to help him make the financial transition. He had a job but not enough to go to school and live on his own. He hated my fiancee and would have tried to rule the roost as he is definitely an alpha male. Not going to happen. I still remember the relief I felt when he was out of my house. It was worth every penny I paid him! We had our Meet and Greet open house tonight. I'm beat. I was on the committee and had to address the parents about my program and I'd also had an idea about blessing the children. I asked the parents, teachers, and pastors we'd recruited to form two lines and create an archway with their arms for the children to pass through. As they did people laid hands on them and blessed them. People broke into spontaneous clapping as the last of the children finished passing by them. A couple of kids went through twice. LOL. And a graduate went through as well. I believe these children are pawns in a spiritual battle between the forces of evil, a street culture that wants to devour them, and the community trying to keep them from being devoured. I wanted them protected in that battle with a shield of blessing and prayer. This is the bedtime prayer I taught my children. As we go to sleep this night, keep us safe till morning light. Forgive the sins we did today. Help us be good is what we pray. Amen God bless, Cheri

[ TE=ljv52;1518394] Having more drama with family -- won't go into detail but I'm having a very tough time Please keep me in your thoughts (prayers) I need all the help I can get right now. Thanks, Linda Will do, Linda. Jessica, sounds like you're going to be a great nurse. If anti-anxiety meds help you--go for it. Much better day today. Extremely humid but not as hot. At the end of the day a former student saw me and gave me the best hug. She told me she wished she could pack me up and take me to high school with her. When we said our good-byes she told me she loved me. I helped her a lot when she'd been raped by her uncle and I helped her move back up a grade. She'd been held back twice at other schools. I should get her to write up what RCS meant to her. It was so great to see her. My niece Olivia's seizures start from all over her brain. There is no one specific starting point, so brain surgery is not an option. They've started her on new meds and she went to her new school today for the first time. No seizures. She's in a small classroom with individualized lesson plans. She has an aide with her at all times to insure her safety. This is my gratitude post for the day. Got my schedule finally manageable. Phew! I am about the only teacher who is seeing almost as many kids as I did last year each day. I gotta go Water my flowers before they croak from the drought. Gonna be cooler, hope we get some rain. Cheri

Those few helpful people could be your higher power to whom you turn for inspiration and advice. Part of the reason the 12 step program is so successful is because people come to the point where they realize they can't do it themselves. They've done everything they can and failed. Willpower and determination failed them over and over because this is an addiction. By ourselves we couldn't and can't do it. Having the humility to admit that is the first step to restoring our sanity. Ironically, its submission of our will, not willpower, that leads to freedom. Freedom from self, freedom from out pasts, freedom from our issues, freedom from our cravings. That doesn't absolve us from responsibility. We do the footwork, we leave the results in our higher power's hands. We trust that by working the steps, change will come. The steps are work. We have to come to believe that a higher power can restore us to sanity. We have to become ready to let our Higher Power restore us to sanity. We clean house, admitting to our Higher Power and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. Admitting it only to ourselves doesn't get rid of it. You have to have the vulnerability to open up. If that's not for you, then you're right. OA will not work for you. However, scientists have been working on creating drugs that target the addiction center of the brain. That may become a tool, which, like the band, can help us in that battle. I choose to believe that humankind, created in the image of God and inspired by him, come up with tools that can help free us from addiction. The 12 steps are some of the best, most proven tools God ever inspired men to create.

Hi all! Very excited. Just found out I get to be Grandma again! My DS just called to tell me. I knew a few weeks ago that they were trying for a second. She's due around April 20-23. That'll make number 8. Cheri

Gratitude: I am now home and in my air-conditioned house. Vent: I taught all day in 90+ heat and Illinois humidity. My hair looks like a brillo pad, my nose is shiny with oil, my hands and feet are finally drying off (not to mention a few other places.)We're supposed to get some relief tomorrow. Also, the school is down to 111 students of whom I'm trying to see almost 60. We are getting the new roof and playground and let's hope that this year we can find the magic formula to bring in more students. We have to reduce tuition, but that means bringing in more donations to cover the difference in costs. I'm having a terrible time scheduling my students because I usually pull from the "specials" classes, but we've eliminated art, band, and library, and reduced the number of Spanish classes for the lower grades. I'm getting to school by 7 a.m. and leaving at 5 p.m. Its too hot to go out to exercise and I'm already getting up at 5:30 just to get to school early and I still can't get to my lesson plans because of interruptions and newly discovered problems with the schedule. So that's my vent. However, I did sing for 2 1/2 hours last night and the music was beautiful. I actually hit a high "A" last night. Only once, but still! Melissa, I'm glad you went to the ER. High blood sugar can make your heart pound and make you feel like you can't catch your breath. Apples, welcome back. Janet, hugs on work situation. Eva, glad you had a good time. LadyK, hope you get all computer issues resolved ASAP. LauraK, good to see you posting. Jessica, hugs on the teacher issues. You might also want to spend some time quietly observing the class. Might take some time before Jake relaxes and quits being aware of you. Ask the teacher to explain her discipline system and reward system. Remember, the behavior you see at home may be totally different than what Jake does in class. If he has attention or sensory issues, being in a classroom with a lot of other kids is going to make him act out and be unable to sit still and focus. Ask to have him tested by the school. Fill out the forms and make sure you sign the official form requesting testing. The school then has 60 school days to get the testing done and an IEP put together. However, it may take longer as the teacher has to show evidence of intervention strategies that failed before testing will get done. Cheri Cheri

Phyll, the wedding photos were great, and much nicer for the bride to walk down the aisle after getting her waist back than to hurry up and get married while pregnant. I have to tell you I took my cell phone down to the lake at my sister's house in TN. It's a very steep hill and my 70+ mother is not always stable on her feet so I took the cell in case we needed rescue. I tucked it between the boobs in my swimsuit. When I got down to the dock I jumped into the Water without removing it. I would probably have to wear it around my neck like you do. My sister who is always on call has her phone near her at all times. She was telling me about being on the cell talking while wondering why she couldn't find her cell. I mislay or misplace things constantly, especially my coffee cup. When I was downsized out of a job, my co-workers took me out for dinner and presented me with a coffee mug---and a pair of handcuffs and cuffed it to my wrist! Melissa, hang in there. If you really can't breathe you need to get to the Dr. or ER--stat. Julie, it would be fun to sing a duet with you. I much more powerful in my alto voice. Cheri

JB, I think last Thanksgiving I got a gratitude thing going on here. How about we just start now? At least we could state one thing we are grateful for before we go off on other topics. I would hate to deny someone who really needs to vent the opportunity to do so. Virtual hugs from our friends on here can really be helpful. Today, I am grateful for air-conditioning. That I have it and that I can pay for it. Did I tell you guys that I joined another choir? It does more traditional classical Christian music (think Handel's Messiah) but some is actually African-American (Elijah Rock), some is contemporary (Rutter's God be in my Head), some is like Gregorian chant. Lots of parts and harmonies playing with each other. Difficult music to read. It's been a long time since I've sight read music that complex, and very challenging. I normally sing alto but I wanted to challenge myself and stretch my voice and my range and sing in my upper register so I'm doing soprano. Can't hit that high A yet but I can do a G once I'm warmed up. The choir is supposed to tour Austria, Germany and Czechoslovakia in late June early July. Taking a close look at our finances to see if we can swing it, but expenses are around $3500. Still, it might be the only chance I'll ever get to go to even part of Europe. Still doctoring. Trying to find out why my Calcium is high. Had to collect my urine for 24 hrs. That was fun. Kids start with me tomorrow. Gotta get to school extra early to make sure I've got something to do with each group as they come. I've also got parents wanting to schedule after school private tutoring with me. I've gotta make sure I don't schedule too much and burn myself out. So, don't know how much you'll hear from me this week. Too hot to go outside. Might just take a little nap. Cheri

Phyll, love the hair. You're beautiful. Your dog was smiling--is that possible? Linda, Merry looks terrific. So bright-eyed and alert. Looks like she lives up to her name. Saw my Tennesse Dr. sister today for several hours. She leaves early in the a.m. to go back to TN. I'm going to have to take up texting. And IMing. And checking my e-mail on my phone. My sister was texting my other sister and getting updates on Olivia. She was texting her daughter and son and so on. If Phyll can handle all this technology, maybe I can too. I just think I'll probably constantly misplace my phone like I do my coffee. Anyway, I'm tired and need to go to sleep. Have a colorfull day tomorrow and enjoy your day of rest and re-creation. Cheri

I can only dream of any plastic surgery. No dollars. Only lost 80 lbs. Could never lose enough for insurance to pay for anything. I'm at goal. Under my maximum BMI. So, I tuck extra skin into my bra, wear 3/4 length sleeves, use a bra with a good lifter on the bottom, and buy clothes that drape the stomach and hide the flap. But if that's what you want, go for it. Cheri

Janet, you look Maaaahvelous Dahling. You were also beautiful at 250 lbs. and I love your clothes. You always were a clothes horse. I'm with you on the longer sleeves. I love 3/4 length. I've always had heavier upper arms, muscular from swimming but the big kind of muscle, not the well-defined muscles on wiry women. But I've never been afraid of color. 240 lbs doesn't look any thinner in solid dark colors than it does in bright colorful clothes that play up your face and coloring and reflect a cheerful, positive outlook on life. So Melissa, don't be afraid of the color or the patterns. Look at Janet's pictures, She looks great in colors and patterns. I love the all the colorful things that are out now. But I've always been a person who avoided beige, taupe, sand, olive, mauve, etc. Some people think those are classy colors. They look OK on a few women with the right skin and hair tones but mostly they make Dutch and other Northern European people look like they belong in a casket. So many "mother-of-the-bride" dresses used to come in those colors. I remember thinking I'd never wear colors like that because as fancy as those dresses were, they did nothing for most of the wearers. I'm a "winter" if you remember having your colors done, so I look good in black and dark brown and white, and bright, primary red, blue, and yellow, and I can do soft, sherbet summer colors and more intense versions of those colors for fall because my hair is ash (grey) blonde at the crown and sides with dark brown in the back. I have the pale, blue undertoned rather than yellow skin with a lot of pink in my skin and dark blue/grey eyes that can look teal or aqua or a lighter blue when I wear those colors. I look horrible in olive, tans, and many orange and gold shades. I can wear the peach/tangerine/coral shades of orange, sherbet greens, most pinks (not mauve) and the buttery shades of yellow. I look good in all purple and pink shades that range between red and blue. I love color and delight in it. When people wear colors that flatter them, that make them "pop," I really notice and appreciate them,no matter what their weight. Clothes are like wearable art. They tell a lot about who you are and what you think about yourself. Laura K. Loved the "if you were perfect, you'd be God." Being able to forgive yourself and not guilt yourself for sometimes eating things that aren't the healthiest choice is one of the things that keeps us from feeling shame, and feeling shame tends to lead to binge eating. Which makes us feel ashamed. Which makes us eat more food. Which makes us feel depressed. Which makes us eat more food. Etc., etc., etc. Cheri

Linda, you said everything I would say. It will be fun to see you all in Vegas and deal with body image. I have been busy and too tired to post at night, though I've kept up with the reading. I've been doing the scheduling-no kids yet. I have to look at each teacher's schedule and all the special's schedules and talk to the teachers to find the best times to take the kids. I have to check the kids who enrolled against the list I prepared last spring of kids who were eligible for NCLB and also find out which ones didn't show up who we thought were showing up. I also have to check on any new students who enrolled and check their test scores to see if they qualify. Then I check if they need reading, math, or both. I have to make sure each student receives at least 2 contacts per week for each subject for which they qualify. The lower their scores the more time I try to schedule them for, up to 5 contacts for reading and 5 for math. I do this for over 50 children ranging in grade from kindergarten to 8th. My assistant is only there on Tues and THurs so on those days I have kids from two grade levels for several of the periods. I can make that work because she's there and can take one of the groups. After I put together the schedule, considering all the variables, I then type it all into a form I designed several years ago that I give to all the teachers. It's color-coded and its easy for them to see which kids have to come to me at which time. Took me three days to put it together. So my neck has been really wretched by the end of the day. My niece Olivia came home from the hospital yesterday still hooked up to the EEG. My sister went outside on the trampoline with her and jumped a long time with her. Then they went in and Olivia had a seizure about 15 minutes after and they finally, hopefully, got a good picture of the path of the seizure through the brain. They brought her back to the hospital today to have the electrodes removed and as soon as they got back home, she had another seizure. No warning, she just drops like a stone and has the bruises and cuts to prove it. Doesn't look like she'll be able to go to school at this rate. However, since she is now enrolled in a public school, they are required to provide home tutoring for her, and that will be a load off my sister's mind. Just keep Olivia and my sister and her family in your prayers. She really is a sweet, gentle kid. It's very hard to see her like this. She came so close to drowning with the seizure she had in the Water. Thank God, the life jacket she had on kept her on the surface, and that Kristi turned around and saw her, and that her big sister, McKenzie heard her mother shouting, turned around, saw her sister, and flipped her over onto her back. Poor McKenzie blamed herself for turning her back on her sister but her mother assured her she'd saved her sister's life. It was McKenzie's big 16th birthday party, and all her friends were at the lake. Then Olivia had two more seizures and ended up in the hospital. What a birthday present for McKenzie! My sister drove out from TN. Her grown kids are staying with their Dad who is much improved and her PA is covering for her so she could come out and help Kris with Olivia and with laundry and cooking. Unfortunately, with school starting for me on Wednesday, I haven't been able to help. Well, I'd better get to bed. Hey Karen, I remember another name besides attending Bedside Baptist-- attending the Church of the Inner Spring. Hey guys, I'm a size 10/12 also. At 5' 9" I forget how much I tower over many women. I caught sight of myself in a mirror in a public washroom in downtown Chicago and was startled by how large I am. I'm proportionate and didn't look fat--just statuesque. Dutch people tend to come rather large and so do many African-Americans and those are the people I'm around. Heck, my daughter's 5'11" as is my one sister, and my baby sister, Kris, will only admit to 6". My sister's are finer boned than me, and less curvy. But in a major metropolitan area, I had a multi-ethnic group around me and I really stood out. For a second, I still felt fat, but reminded myself that I'm proportionate to my height. Cheri Cheri

Wow! PMS and the Repair Man! You know, I didn't think that 119 seemed right. But when I'm reading a lot of pp I miss things so after a few people mentioned it I assumed they must be right. Ha! Assume makes an ASS out of U and ME. The teacher may have realized she over-reacted and thus wrote something nice to repair the damage. We do get overwhelmed with a bunch of wild little kids (or big kids). Jake seems to have learned his lesson well. As far as the beach, don't worry about your in-laws. Concentrate on Jake and making sure its a fun day for him. Become a little kid right along side him. It's so fun to throw and catch a ball or football in the water. You can dive for the ball and not get hurt. Build sand castles, dig the biggest holes you can. Skip stones. Look for shells. Go on a treasure hunt. If he's playing with in-laws, just have fun in the water by yourself. Cheri

Sherri, I think of getting the band as symbol of humility. I couldn't beat this addiction by myself and God provided me with the tool I needed. Believe me, its not a cure-all. You will need God's help every step of the way. The band is his gift, his grace to us in our helplessness. We still have to do the work. Cheri

I'm sure you looked great-and 119 lbs, way to go. The Lord bless and keep your friend Jacqui. By the way, we used to call skipping church attending Bedside Baptist. Melissa, so glad you went to Dr.. Hope the drugs work. Be well.] Gotta go to bed. Love to all. Cheri

Went to visit Olivia at the hospital today, give my sis some moral support. Went with my parents by two sets of trains. It is so easy to get to Chicago and around Chicago. Walked one block from one train station to the other. Olivia looked good. She's on Valium to stop the seizures and I think she slept a lot. Today they had her jumping up and down trying to get her to have a seizure. She has never had a seizure in the hospital and they've never registered on an EKG, ergo, they can't pinpoint the source of her seizures. So, back to school tomorrow. Not really looking forward to it. My assistant is thinking of quitting. There's a position at the college she lives next to working in their bookstore. It's right next to where she lives and her husband is the head of development at the college. Without her I'd have to do all the paperwork. Don't know if I'll have enough students to justify hiring another assistant. School needs more students. So many wait till the last second to enroll and some are actually a week or two late because we start before many of the public schools. Tomorrow, I won't be able to see any of the kids, I'll spend the time scheduling the ones who show up. I'll have to get a copy of each teacher's schedule. My brother from CA had an interesting possibility for the future that would involve a possible win/win situation for my parents and for me and my husband. As you know, my dad has early Alzheimers. He's 82. My mom is 77. They are both living in their fully paid for home about 5-10 minutes from me. They aren't wealthy but manage quite well on their social security and small retirement account because their bills are minimal, they're very frugal, and they have major tax deductions on their house. I, on the other hand, took out a loan on my fully paid for house in order to remodel the basement so my son and his wife and baby could live there and to make other improvements on the property. Then we got flooded and a huge part of my loan got washed away. I'm using what's left of the loan to refinish the basement and Ken's part-time work to pay off perma-seal. Plus part of Ken's retirement since he seemed to have lost most of it on the market anyway. I'll never be able to sell the house if I don't get this fixed. So, retiring at 62 (I'll be 59 on Dec. 30), is pretty much an impossibility, but continuing teaching at the level I am gives me the willies. So my brother's proposal is that Ken and I move in with my parents. We would receive the house and any other assets that are left over. The other kids don't want that money. And they don't need that money. And we would probably be paid as their caretakers. The advantages are that my parents would be able to stay in their own home. For my dad, staying somewhere where he's very familiar with everything (He was raised a block away) would help keep him from the disorientation a new setting would bring. My mom loves her home and her biggest fear is being put in a retirement village or assisted living with a bunch of gossipy old people (especially from her own religious background. And most of the good retirement and assisted living homes around here are filled with Dutch people from a Reformed (Calvinist) background) Her home has always been the social center of the family with kids and grandkids returning there regularly from all over the country. However, she can't handle my dad, who has retained all of his bossiness but is losing his cognitive reasoning abilities. She's a nervous wreck, he follows her everywhere making 'suggestions' for her improvement. He's incredibly stubborn and has never really respected women. Sees himself as the patriarch and can't stand that others (especially woment) don't have the same opinion as himself. She has never been successful at standing up to him and his badgering. So with Ken and I there, she wouldn't be stuck with him. We'd be able to handle Dad for her, get him out of the house so she could have her space, get her out of the house so she could have adventures and new experiences which she loves and would give her something to talk about other than my dad and how hard it is to live with him. As they continue aging we'd be able to coordinate their care in their own home, supervising homecare nursing as needed and eventually hospice care if necessary. We'd be able to protect them from the dangers of con men and home invasion that happens all to often to the elderly. This would be our retirement job. The main problem for me would be a paradigm shift in dealing with both parents. My dad makes me angry. He has never respected me because I'm female. I need to see him the same way I see the children I teach. With compassion. My mother's victim mentality does not inspire patience in me. I was with them all day today, ran a little interference for my mother with my dad, listened to her with patience, saved them from getting lost and getting on the wrong train at one point. This whole process would take a couple of years to implement. My brother, who is very persuasive(he's a pastor and now a chaplain), is going to bring up this scenario with my other siblings. We'll see what happens. I live the closest to them and the other close sibling is the mother of Olivia who is overwhelmed with taking care of her and her other 2 children as well as having a husband whose MS is currently in remission but could come roaring back. Gotta think and pray about this. My husband is on board, after initially being repulsed by the idea. Once he understood it as a job, his manhood at not being able to support us. He has a hard time handling me being the chief wage earner. Unfortunately, this is now common as so many men hit their late 50's and early 60's and get an expiration date stamped on them. Hope that was all clear and understandable. Sorry that was all about me and I'm not real responsive to the rest of you today. Writing it all out, pros and cons, is a good exercise for sorting things out. I value your input. Cheri

You could try the 5 day pouch test to see if you need a fill but also to jump start your weight loss. (Basically go back to your food plan when you first got the band. Liquids and then mushies.) When I lost the weight I made a vow never to gain more than 2 lbs. That's my warning sign that I need to cut back. I immediately go back to high protein, no carbs. I don't keep bad-for-me carbs in the house. I stay in contact with other lap-banders daily. I post about the things that might otherwise drive me into the food. You can do this. The band is merely a tool. Respect it and it will help you, one day at a time, one meal at a time. Cheri

Julie, I'm worried about you going off the Cymbalta. Your symptoms seem minor compared to you crying all the time like you did the last 2 times you went off your anti-depressants. I have dry mouth and eyes from my Sjogren's Sydrome. I can live with that. I couldn't live with crying all the time. You talked about how you didn't want to even live anymore. Wait until Mayo evaluates your meds, and decides what you should go off of. This new NP doesn't know your history. You don't want to be all messed up for your daughter's wedding. If Mayo can find the source of your pain and alleviate it, then it'll be time to come off the Cymbalta. That's just my opinion and, as always, take what you like and leave the rest. Cheri

Michsha, I'm 58, got my band at 57, and I'm doing great. Maybe you should stop reading the negative stories and start reading the positive ones. I'm 80 lbs down, at goal, under top of BMI, feeling great, and I can even dance again. I just went off my anti-inflammatories. My blood sugar is greatly improved. A Dr. who'd never met me before told me I looked fantastic. My brother who hadn't seen me for a year said I looked sexy. I feel great and look great. I've got 8 months now of maintenance. I've actually lost 5 more lbs. But you do have to be prepared mentally, and emotionally. I think you have to have a 12-step approach and admit that food addiction has made your life unmanageable. You have to believe in a power greater than yourself that can restore you to sanity. The band is just a tool, but it shows your humility. You know you can't do it yourself. But with God, the support of other lapbanders, and the band, you can do it. One day at a time, one meal at a time. When Indio gets on the thread she'll let you know more. The band is just a tool, you have a lot of work to do. Take some meds to lift your depression if that's what's holding you back. Get your therapy. Change your attitude. Go for it.

My niece is just 13 yrs old and is supposed to be starting 8th grade at a new school because her old school felt they couldn't provide what she needs. She'd been at that school all her life so the stress of the move may be a triggering factor. Plus she's hitting puberty and seizures can get worse at that time. Cheri

Jessica/Jewel, I meant to send that medal to you but it went to Julie instead (not that she doesn't deserve one). These Js do get confusing. Hope your son's first day went well, too. Beautiful day. I need to get out into it. CBL CHeri

Trazola, bread is no-no for most of us. It makes you pb because it expands in your pouch, plus its a carb that fills the stomach leaving less room for the Protein you need to get into you. And as a carb, it just plain isn't very good for you and will keep you from losing weight. Hopefully your nutritionist will helps you pick band-friendly, weight-loss promoting food. Also, remember, small bites and chew things well. You'll have a lot less getting stuck and pbing. Cheri

A medal to you Laura. And Julie you'll be getting one too. My grandson, David, started kindergarten this week. So far, so good. Rachel had used a little gel to spike up his white-blond hair. So cute. Two other grandkids are starting pre-school this week. I'm back to school on Weds. My niece, Olivia, had three seizures yesterday. She is currently at Children's Memorial in Chicago. My sister is beside herself. They've never been able to pinpoint the cause of her seizures and she's already on a cocktail of meds to control them. Has anyone ever heard of the Cleveland Clinic? It's supposed to be the new Mayo--just as good. I have two reports to get out to parents today. Went for my hours walk so now I need to get to work so the rest of my day is free. Can't go far though. I've got another 24 hour urine collection thing going on so they can try to pin-point the cause of my slightly high blood Calcium. 98% of the time its parathyroid, but, so far, those tests have been clean. I am still not taking as much "D" and am off my laxative and limiting my calcium intake. The Dr. is sure it isn't any of my supplements or milk drinking. And if it were cancer, they'd know it because it doesn't happen until cancer is advanced. So, she thinks I have a family trait for slightly high calcium but she has to rule out everything else. I've started taking the medicine for my Sjogren's Sydrome. I've taken myself off my anti-inflammatory so I'm stiffer and more sore, but I've increased my fish oil since its an anti-inflammatory. Sjogren's is an autoimmune disease and those are inflammatory diseases so by treating it with the Plaquinelle and fish oil it may reduce my pain in my muscles and joints without the anti-inflammatories which raise my blood pressure. But let me tell you, without my laxative I'm back to my old, highly constipated self, even with adding ground flax seed and a salad with some fruit in it everyday and enough Water to float a boat. Plus, calcium can contribute to constipation and I've cut that back. Very exasperating and uncomfortable. Cheri

Welcome. This is an exciting, roller coaster ride. Getting the band signaled my humility in knowing I couldn't do this by myself. Getting the band was my surrender to God. Staying on track and telling others my story is how I'm paying him back for all he's done for me. Trust him and listen to those he's put in your life who know what they're talking about when it comes to dealing with the band. Cheri