Chooky

Oncekids are back at schol could try and organise a meet up if you like,,, jamaica blue baldivas??/

ahts a great idea Jo

Know exactly what you mean, I got to goaland now am really sabotaging myself and dont know why? good luck

O.K I have not posted for some time now and have to say I hope this helps as it has done in the past for me. Oh god i need some help right now. Am really struggling with a lot of things going on in my life at the moment and my one truest and oldest friend of all has come knocking, actually both of them have. Depression and my bestest buddy in the whole wide world FOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDD. What is wrong with me???? This moodsettles over me like a big dark cloud and nothing shakes it,well something must cos it comes and goes but this time it's bad. I have a fill tomorrow but for what???? Igotto goaldid the ttuck, got the cthes holiday and all the other stuff but the peace withmyself??? no. I dont thinkI ever will, my head is just whirringall the time, non stop and it is exhausting. I actually feel like ihave absolutly nothing, nothing at all worth doing at the moment, work , kids house nothing, would just like to stay inbed and wait this out insteadof carrying on outwardly while falling apart slowly inwardly, Is it the best bit or the worst bit that nobody even knows??? The thought of work, school run,footy, dancing getting up is exhaustingand i dont think i can keep this up, i would love a few days by myself i thinkjust to get through the next few days of this and then i'll beright agian, Sposed to be going to a concert saturday night but its caouple of hours drive there and then back again, soo I am sposed to start work early sat arrange baby sitters got to work sunday, act as if i am married to hubsand of the year and go but the thought of it all is horrendous all i can think of is icould be inbed. Just go to bed cause another huge row over what is sposed to bea thoughtful gift but in reality is dreaded, and 2 hours in the car there and then back and work and I cant do it. I really just want all the responsibility taken away for a couple of days and all i want is the bed and to sleep. chooky

I haven't blogged for a while,, wow this site has changed a bit. I have had one of the worst days here in a while and I know as I write this that in the grand scheme of things it is nothing absolutly nothing but I need to write it somewhere so it leaves me for a minute. Hubby has been away working since August and not really that contactable as phones drop out and coverage and ..... Kids are beginning to drive me nuts and little things with them that generally get piffiled away are getting yelled at, my family are, to be fair not all of them.. have said some pretty unforgivable things to me with other members saying don't worry about it. Well you do don't you. being trodden all over and still expected to be all smiley and accomodating, Walked out of job this morning, after being treated like crap all week, and am so tired i could lay down and not bother to get up again and allthis crap has made the band so tight nothing for me tonite.... The silver lining is.... Ayear ago I would of put up with all the sh**$t. But Laying in bed going over everything again and agian as you do I realised , I dont have to take it, I am deserve better than that, and for the first time ever I mean it, I actually believe it. How to deal with it all , who knows????????????????????????????? Right now i don't think i even care. AND it feels better just to put it out there Cheers Chooky

Hi, I am also in perth & have had band since may 28 09, have never regretted it, had tummy tuck april this year and have lost 65 kgs in that time. I went through Dr Padovan for both surguries and highly recommend his team , very friendly and fantastic support before during and ongoing. good luck to you on your journey. Chooky

:cool:How come whenever a fat photo or v.unflattering photoof me ispassed around my mother in law wants a copy??? well 70kg and a tummy tuck and all prettied up for a friends bday photos getting passed around, and let me tell you no copies required thankyou very much:angry: In fact only comment made was what a good photo of my husband it was and he is nearly filling the whole thing (thats a different issue entirely) ok dad in law didn't know it was me and thats ok cos I still look at it and don't connect, but come on would it kill her to at least say "nice watch" or "Hey i dont really think your good enough for the family and being fat was the only thing I could really use against you now your thin I'm screwed so...... stick your photo's????" or ????? Well ....:laugh::tt2::w00t: to you mother in law, go climb a tree, oh your grandaughter thinks I,m pretty and lots of fun and i am her mum so that what matter's... The best bit is and I know itspathetic I have framed a copy and put it on their dresser as a gift, lmao:lol: Cheers Chooky

:cursing:yeh but your cheating youve got a band , oh p**s off. I have slogged it at the gym and swam so many laps i feel sea sick, spent so much moneyon all the other wieght loss stuff that it probably paid for the band twice over. I m proud of my band and the life I have chosen because I use it correctly. These judgmental people make me so:cursing: whatever works works , I dont go around saying oh you do w.watchers you cheat do I???? AGHHHHH Cheers Chooky

exactly!!!!!!!!!! chooky

:smile2:Well its been ages since I blogged, but a fair bit has happened in that time. I past all the goals I set for myself and had the tummy tuck done on the 13 April so it was all before my one year bandaversary. How do I feel now????? Well thats the strange thing , instead of jumping up and down alday everyday I still find myself in that fat head space:confused:It takes a lot to see the changes we make and the fact that this is it forever is huge. Dont get me wrong its great and I now wiegh 72kg and have a great time at parties and go out because I have stuff to wear and the kids think this is great too. But....... I am still the same person on the inside and an awful lot of peopledont seem to get that at all, I am a lot less defensive and on edge and a lot more tolerant , but in sdaying that people are of me now that the fat has gone, so I wont take all the blame for that one. It must be the weather, it's cold and rainy here:thumbdown:But good luck to you all and to those at the beginning of the road keep walking down it because it is worth it. Cheers Chooky:smile2:

4 me it was low blood pressure and low iron. Cheers Chooky

Comming to the end of my wieght loss with the band I am beginnig to realise just how all consumming my food issue's were. They just filled the days and nights with little or no room left over for anything else, this is where the big now problem is... There is this huge void in my life, if anybody had told me at hte beginning that I would feel this way I would of laughed and said no way, but after a life time of having this constant wheel running in my head for it to be gone has actually left me depressed and I need to fill it some other way, but with what. Sadly I come to realise that I have no real interests, the main one was food, then diets then food, then lapband, but at the end of the journey, I have found I have the blah's big time, cos now I should be getting on with just living but I don't think I actually know how to do that after a life time of living for food. Pathetic but it is as if a friend has died or something, and it's no good trying to explain this to people cos they think your nuts Cheers Chooky