shadowiq

Well, I know it sounds cliche, but I have been overweight or obese most of young adult and adult life. I had been researching bariatric surgery for the last few years, but never really followed through on it. This was for three reasons and three people I believe. First, myself, I was fearful of the surgery and the change it would force upon me. Second, my wife, she is fearful of many things, and any surgery seems to scare her quite a bit. Plus, she got very hung up on the idea that I didn't have to do this, there is another way, surgery is too drastric. But she, like many people, relates to weight and weight loss from her point of view. Meaning, she wants to lose 20 to 30 pounds so she can look and feel better, but her life is "normal." She gets to do normal things, wear normal clothes, sit in regular furniture and feel normal, and feel like you fit into the normal world. Obese people don't feel that way, we are always on the outside looking in, dreaming of what it would be like to feel normal. So you have two people looking at the surgery from two very different life experiences. One says this surgery can't really be worth it, and from her perspective, of course not. The other says, you have no idea how bad this really is, you bet your life it's worth it. The last person standing in my way was my primary care doctor. Everytime I brought it up he would just say it was too drastic and try to change the subject. He did admit once that I was entitled to it if I wanted it, but said to give it more time. So I did, I came back a few months later and said I still wanted it, and again he put me off. So once I had decided to face my fear, and I was ready to accept the change, I then had to deal with the two people left standing in my way. The first one was the easy one, the doctor, called up my insurance company, requested a new doctor. Done. Second person, not so easy, my wife. We had a great many arguments about it, these were not happy times. But throughout the process I had to just keep believing that I was worth it, and that is easier said than done. Again, as obese people I think we are taught by society and others to de-value ourselves. Think about it, just the process to get approved for any of the surgeries is a demoralizing experience. You have to prove that you would benefit from it and it takes six months to do it. Can you imagine waiting six months to have your broken arm fixed and having to prove that your fixed arm would function better than a broken one?  So she came to a point where she said would accept it, but not like it, and never forgive me for doing it. Harsh words, but again, I had to keep believing I was worth it. And that means accepting everything was bad about the decision as well as good, and that means everything.So 11/18/08 I started a medically supervised fast, I needed to lose 38 pounds to qualify for the surgery. I thought I would stay on the medical fast as long as I could however, and lose as much I could. I lasted three months and lost 58 pounds. My surgery was eventually approved and scheduled for 7/30/09. So I am proud to say that for the entire 5 1/2 month period from when the fast ended and surgery happened. I kept all the 58 lbs off.  That was just one more piece of evidence to me that I was ready for this change. So I was banded on 7/30/09 and my recovery has gone well for the most part. I am down another 12 lbs as of 10/5/09, making the total 70. However, I should point out that I just had my third adjustment and I think this one is the "green zone" one. I have a feeling that while a pound a week of steady loss was not bad, that it's going to get kicked up a notch now. So we will see.
The reasons I chose the lap-band surgery over the gastric bypass surgery are probably the same reasons as other people; certain deal breakers. First, I didn't like the idea of an irreversible procedure. With my wife on my case so much about what could go wrong, I just couldn't make that leap of faith. Second, that changing of your intestinal track, I just couldn't get used to the idea. Lastly, the dumping syndrome. This one is a toss up I guess because lap-band patients get food stuck, which also is not fun. So really, I could probably live with the dumping syndrome if it were not for the other two deal breakers. I chose the surgery that seemed best for me, I am not saying it's the best surgery. Really, I think the gastric sleeve is the best one, but my insurance wouldn't cover it, and most still won't at this point.