First, take a deeeep breath!
I too am sorry you're having a difficult time.
However, I'm not sure a psych exam would have prevented you from getting this surgery. And I'm not sure it would have been able to determain how you would have reacted once the band was put in. I think we react differently when things are in real time happening to us as opposed to what we daydream will happen. I'm sure you had high hopes before going in. And never thought this reaction would happen. (I know I sure didn't see it coming for me)
I am only 5 weeks into this whole thing and I also wanted to rip mine out thinking I had made the worst decision of my life. I even had a panick attack from the stress. Right now I have a loss of appetite because I'm still really scared about my decision. But I'm now on medicine (anti-anxiety) to help settle my mind and soul and to help me keep things in perspective. This anxiety is not something you have to deal with yourself. I've never been on med's for depression, but I wasn't able to overcome the fear and anxiety so I finally called for help (gulp)!!
Here's what I'm learning about this band being in my body....
It's about you, it's about life coping skills, it's about making life choices and taking responsibility for it, it's about getting rid of the guilt and shame that's hung onto us for so long that makes us think we're not worthy of making such big (healthy) choices for ourselves and mostly it's about loving and respecting yourself and your body.
I don't think (just like me) that we will be completely at peace with our decision unless we are at peace with ourselves. Again, this is where therapy comes into play.
Trust me....it's takin' months of therapy and I still have a VERY long way to go.
I think for some of us this surgery comes very naturally and for some of us we have to struggle, control & question our decision. Again, these are issues within yourself that you need to work on and figure out your fears.
Change is a very real and scary thing. But sometimes (when we look back) change can also be very positive!
There was a quote at my church that was very profound and hit VERY close to home with me. I wrote it in my Bible..... "Step out of your comfort zone and you will grow in your knowledge as a person!"
Wow! Just think about that statement for awhile. Our comfort zones are hard to leave, but trust me most times it better to leave them behind and never look back.
Good luck to you. I will keep you in my prayers.
K. Borch