cathgr8

Hey Regina, We're here for you. I've been fighting my own depression, though thankfully my anxiety has improved a lot, which just might have coincided with my daughter going away to northern Cal for 5 weeks. Now she's home packing up to move there, because she's found the love of her life, and they'll be getting married within the year. Of course, if you ask me tomorrow, she may have a whole new plan. She may be the most unstable person in the world, but she's an adult and she didn't ask my opinion. At least he's nice and he's gainfully employed. I don't know whether to thank him or warn him. Have a fill scheduled for November 29. In the meantime, it's TOM, and I've gained 2 lbs. Need to count on walking and willpower for the next three weeks.

Hi all, Well after several months of intentionally staying a bit loose so I can enjoy life, I have decided to break down and get a small fill. I am still losing ever so slowly (2-3 lbs. a month), but with the holidays approaching, and starting to feel hungry sooner after a meal, and able to eat quite a bit at a sitting, I think I'll just head off two months of plateau, and hopefully avoid temptation like I did so successfully this time last year. My BF has put on 20 lbs in the year since we met (mostly finishing off my restaurant dinners!) and he's ready to get serious now, too, so we can support each other. I've got 30 more pounds to goal, and April 1 is my target date. Time for a jump start. How are the rest of you doing? Seems awful quiet lately. Are we all slowing down as we inch closer to goal? How are you going to get through the holidays? Who is too tight and who is too loose?

I'm a year and a half out from surgery, and I notice that after certain amorous sessions, depending on the intensity or the position, my port area gets tender, and I think it's because I pull on the area so the scar tissue gets inflamed and it feels harder than usual too. No worries, it's well worth the minor discomfort!

All that preparation, I just can't do it. If you are looking for drive through that isn't too bad, I recommend Taco Bell, Tacos Fresca style (that way it has no cheese, comes with salsa) are around 150 calories, or Del Taco, tacos al carbon (they come with two corn tortillas, I remove one) chicken, around 150 calories, steak around 190 with one tortilla. Plenty of protein. Also, Jack in the Box Chicken Fajita Pita, kinda messy if you don't eat the pita (ask for a fork) but only around 300 calories even if you do, and I order it without cheese.

Pinky, I guess what I'm asking is have you considered having just some of the fill taken out as opposed to all of it? Did you ever have a time where you felt restriction but didn't PB much? You gals are looking good!

Pinky, How much do you have in your band? As you can see, I only have 1.6 ccs and haven't had a fill since March. My doctor warned me against getting too tight, he says if your quality of life is not good, with too many food restrictions or PB/golfballs, you will not be successful. I have slowed down in my weight loss, but I'd rather kick up the exercise first than risk being too tight. I can eat almost anything, but not in large quantities. When you were first banded did you feel any restriction at all, or was it not until you had a fill? That should give you some indication of whether a partial or total unfill is the way to go. Good luck, I think it might be worth trying.

Good morning Junebies. Regina, I'm totally pulling for you to reach that goal. You can do it! I had a telephone session with my long time therapist (On and off for 16 years). He honed right in on my issues, and of course, most of them are tied to my daughter, permeating my BF issues, my son issues and my anxiety. He also told me I am one of the most resilient people he knows (He's been through a lot with me) and that he will help make sure I get through this crisis too. He did think the self medication with food over the years was a huge coping mechnism, and that this is making my current feelings seem magnified and more overwhelming. I don't know, but just talking about it with him made me feel better than I have in weeks. Now maybe I can get back to exercising! Have a good day everyone.

Happy Birthday Barbaras! I am having my usual anxiety/depression filled day. I went to Taco Bell and they screwed up my order, so I used that as an excuse to go to Starbucks and buy cookies with my latte. I can't remember when I last did this. My 22 YO DD, who is, for all intents and purposes, disabled from depression, anxiety and BPD (she's adopted, so the only connection to my disorder is environmental), and has recently taken up permanent residence on the couch, has taken my cousin up on an offer to visit her in northern california for a few weeks. It's a relief, but I'm very torn too. Guilt, love and regret, fear she'll come back the same or worse. How do I go from that to getting up and exercising?

Thanks for that tip Pinky, I don't know if I can get fish in four times a week, but I'll try to add some, anyway. I take the supplement because my skin and nails are so dry. I'll boost that too, it couldn't hurt. And Trader Joe's has some crackers and chips with flax seed, though I don't know how much Omega 3 is in those and I probably should take it easy on the carbs. Glad your stress has gone down!

Socal: I have had very big effects on my cycle from the surgery/weight loss. I have endometriosis (big time cramps) and was close to menopause, but the estrogen surge turned the faucets right back on, cramps increased, etc. Now it seems to be spacing out again, and last month it was nine days long, but I had not even one cramp (that's never happened). Very unpredictable. Try four Aleve. That almost always keeps me from resorting to codeine. Leecee and Socal: No I haven't tried meditation or deep breathing, but I am trying never to miss my walks. Leecee if you don't mind my asking, what do you take for anxiety? You can make the response private if you like. I don't remember seeing you in SF, but I sure did get some nookie thank you!

Hey Leecee, I spent the weekend with my BF from San Jose, and we were in San Francisco also for an entire day, walking those hills, and riding the cable cars. I wonder if we passed each other and didn't even know. I was thrilled to weigh in this morning and learn I am .2 pounds from onederland. That motivated me to get out on a walk this morning. My anxiety levels are through the roof though. Shouldn't that increase my metabolism? Anyone have any ideas for relieving that panicky feeling without eating or drinking alcohol? I used to be on anti-depressants, which can help, but the ones that work also mess up your sex drive, and I'd like to avoid that.

Congratulations, Pinky! I was relieved to get rid of the financial burden but not happy about losing $5,000.00 when I sold my house in April, but in the paper today, sales prices in that zip code were down 10-20% last month compared to last year. I think you probably got out in the nick of time.

Thanks for the kind words, socal gal. I was on antidepressants before the surgery, but stopped soon after. I did well yesterday on food. Cottage Cheese, turkey and crackers, a nectarine, beef taquitos from Taco Bell (no cheese) and some chicken for diner. Sugar free pudding for dessert. I walked this morning again. It helped that the scale showed a half pound loss this morning. Still pretty depressed but think I'm starting to identify some of the issues now. Just have to get the energy to work on them!

For me it's dry, brittle nails. I'm taking fish oil and Vitamin E in additon to my regular vitamins, but my manicurist is still commenting on how bad they've gotten and says it must be the change in nutrition.

I'm not doing very well. No loss in three weeks, and very depressed for reasons I'm still not sure I totally understand, but it's the first time in years I can't eat my way through it. I've now resolved to get up early and walk every morning, since I run out of gas in the evening now that I work later, and did at least do that this morning. My eating schedule is all messed up now too. I had it perfectly worked out when I was working 9-5:30, but now I'm working til 6:30 or later, so not having lunch til 1:30. I used to have a latte first thing (the milk tends to hold my hunger off), then eat breakfast when I got to work. Now, I have to have breakfast and a snack to make it to lunch, so I'm having to cut down at other meals. Not easy when I'm depressed and craving sweets. So far I'm keeping the sweets to 100 calorie packs (or 2 or 3) and sugar free pudding, but it's been enough to keep the weight steady. I gotta get out of this funk and start losing again.

That's an old Oingo Boingo song. I am an aging punkster who used to see them perform when I was in college at USC in the 70's. Thanks for bringing back some memories. Oingo Boingo - On The Outside Lyrics They laugh at me aloud They say I'm just a clown That I ain't got no pride I'm on the outside The girls look really cute They really make it work They think I'm just a jerk I'm on the outside I never could sit still I never was too hip I never caught the ride I'm on the outside I'm on the outside, I'm on the outside now This is where it all begins right here On the outside lookin' in, I'm on the outside I never was a punk I never shot junk I never even tried counter Culture passed me right by (I'm on the outside) Don't talk to debutantes Don't eat in restaurants The patrons sit and stare The waiters make wise cracks behind my back (I'm on the outside) Teachers there in school They flunked me by the rule They say I had no motivation, brains or dedication I guess the imbeciles were right I'm on the outside I'm on the outside, I'm on the outside now This is where it all begins on the outside looking in Looking in At you I'm just an alien through and through Tryin' to make believe I'm you Tryin' to fit Just a stranger on the outside looking in The disco makes me sick I Wear the wrong clothes I say the wrong things You know I can't dance My feet are much too wide (I'm on the outside) You think you set the trends You wear your hair just right Your clothes are out-a-sight Your house is modern really kitch You get so macho when you're with your bitch (I'm on the outside) I see them go to work I see them go to sleep I see them on T.V. I see them laugh and cry I'm on the outside. I'm on the outside. I'm on the outside (Repeat chorus) I'm on the outside. I'm on the outside now I'm on the outside I'm on the outside now

I had a great weekend with BF, and Barbara, you must be right because I'm feeling very relaxed! I think sex is good exercise too, which is good because it was 110 degrees here all weekend. I ate too much and sat around in cool places too much. My BF left me some resistance bands to start working my upper body some more. Tomorrow it's back to walking 2 miles a day and using the bands. And eating right, darn it. Summer vacation is officially over.

I am huge sugar junkie, I used to live for Valentine's Day and Easter because of all the bagged candy I could set next to my computer and munch on while I surfed the Internet. My day was not complete without dessert and sweet snacks. But when I went into this surgery, I did the head work. I committed to following the band rules, and then, if I had eaten my protein, then veggies, and was still hungry, I would allow myself a carb, which could be a sweet. I'd say that 90% of the time, my "sweet" for the day has been a sugar free, fat free pudding cup, sometimes a 100 calorie snack bag of cookies, rarely a true dessert (cake, candy, ice cream or pie). The fact that I'm usually not only not hungry, but actually full, really keeps me from being preoccupied with where my next snack is coming from. So I haven't eliminated the need for sweets, but it seems very manageable.

Ok, I'm here too. I've been doing only OK on my eating and drinking, but I have walked two miles five times this week. I've been afraid to get back on the scale after my cruise, since I just hit the -100 lb mark right before I left. I feel your pain Pinky. When I sold my house in April, it started me on a big time anxiety attack that still hasn't really gone away. Getting two new jobs in a month only made it worse, and frankly, I'm thinking that in addition to my hormones, the fact that I'm not able to self-medicate with food anymore like I used to has only made it worse. I've even been resorting to taking some of my daughter's Ativan. Can't sleep, and I've all but given up caffeine. I guess this is what it's like to really feel emotional distress. It's worth it...I guess . I seem to only be calm when my BF is visiting. He has that effect on me. He didn't come down during the first two weeks of my new job (which I am liking at least), which meant I was a jittery mess most of the time. Luckily, he arrived last night. Have a wonderful Labor Day weekend everyone.

My BF and I spent weeks putting together a playlist we call ""Music to _ By". It has songs that mean a lot to one or the other or both of us, as well as songs that just make you feel like doin it. The one he introduced me to and I love for setting the mood is "Come on Closer" by Jem.

I'm back from my day at Disneyland and cruise to Baja. Must have walked ten miles. Starting my new job this morning too. Hope all is well with the Junebies.

Pinky, Congrats on selling the house. It's got to be a weight off your shoulders. I'm enjoying my first unemployed day in 12 years, so what if it only lasts a week? My sweetheart arrives at the airport at 2:30, and then the vacation begins! Hope you all have a great week.

Good morning Junebies. As of today, my last day at my old crappy job, I am down 100 pounds. Only two more pounds to onederland too. I'm going to Disneyland Thursday, then a three day cruise on Friday, so it will be a challenge to keep it there, but I'm up for that. I told you I had a new job 5 minutes from home. While waiting to start, I found an even better job, with a 20% pay raise, only 12 minutes from home, no traffic. Woo hoo! I did start walking a week ago, and I attribute getting over this hump finally to that. My loss has slowed down for sure, but I have no doubt I will reach goal sooner or later. For those of you having problems, I think my success has been partly due to never being too tight. I've only had a couple of PB's, both since my March fill, but I am not getting any more in the near future. It's all about the hard protein, and not drinking for an hour after eating for me. Hope you all have a wonderful day!

Thanks for the input everyone. I now have one answer, from Blue Cross of CA (my current group insurer). No coverage for two years after banding, then coverage if you pass a physical and blood tests, and your weight has stabilized. Premium surcharge is 25%. Checking others, but suspect it's similar. I'll end up on COBRA until the two year mark then see if I can get a lower premium than that.

I know I've seen references to this in other threads, but of course I can't find them now. I'm going to be looking for new health insurance, individual plan. What is the general rule as far as whether I am insurable, bumps in premiums, and what exclusions to expect having had the surgery?