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knrpick

LAP-BAND Patients
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Blog Entries posted by knrpick

  1. knrpick
    I THINK you guys were right, it was water weight! I woke up this morning and lost 4 lbs! :yikes: I guess I didn't do too bad. I definatly didn't eat 3500 caleries. I'm still kinda pissed at the nurse, but what do you expect from the beampole! They can't think fat!
     
    ARB and I were talking today. I find it really interesting what different docs call "mushies". Our mushies, we both go to the same doc, is actually soft foods. We can have deli meat, tuna, soft and moist chicken, veggies that are super soft. I find this stage is much easier because we have lots of choices. I hate the no choices like the pre-diet.
     
    I've been doing a lot of soul searching after this weekend. (that's all I've thought about)I have lived most of my life on bad choices. This weekend, I did eat too much, but they were good choices, for the most part. I have also learned that I need to listen to my body, that is the hardest part! I've never done this before. This isn't like a diet that you screw up and your done! I'm making my life better along with my family. I want to see my kids when they get old. I want to see my grandkids, when they come.
     
    Thanks to friends, I think, no I know I can do it!:hurray: There are people on here who are mean and cruel, but for the most part every person I've met here are amazing and funny.
     
    The funniest thing I've heard is from Stacy. She said one day that her brother rubbed ehr belly. I was like shit your a budda! She laughed and said maybe she should not have the surgery and charge for people to rub her belly for goodluck! LMAO! It's great attitudes like this that I need!
     
    I'm changing my life!!!!!!:smilielol5:
  2. knrpick
    OMG! I decided to call my doc and ask if there was anything I could do. While over the weekend, I was really good, but I ate real food. I freaking gained 5 lbs!!!!!!!!!!! Can you believe that? Anyway, the nurse said, this is her exact wording, "You need the just have some self control! We won't do a fill before a month anyway!" She gave no ideas, no help at all!!!!!:cursing::thumbup:
     
    I feel so dejected! This is how every diet went for me. I lose and lose and feel great, then one day I screw up and it's hard to go back. That's the end!
     
    I have been sooooooo good! I got more than I needed of my water in, I had grits for breakfast, my 2 shakes, soup for lunch and then chicken and rice for dinner. :ohmy:
     
    We bathed all 12 puppies today. It was a line up, I washed and the kids each took puppies to dry. It was so funny to see who liked the water and who hated it. We took Iluq and swam with him today! It was so funny. He jumped and screamed at first then after awhile he would just come in on his own. So cute!
    :w00t:
  3. knrpick
    Yesterday, Saturday, we, my husband and I, drove down to Texas to come see a new puppy that I want. It was an 8 hr drive. We had so much fun talking, listening to music and just dream talking. I love going for drives with him, I have his undevided attention.
     
    This morning, we went and saw my sweetheart! OMG is he absolutly beautiful. He's silver and white with bi-eyes. He is totally the love of my life! We left him with her and since we have never been to Texas before and we were so close to Dallas, we decided to spend the day there. We went to the Dallas World Aquarium. It was so amazing! We even got to meet Nigel what's his butt from animal planet. He's from australia. Anyway, we had lunch in the same place and my husband got his picture taken with him. The aquarium was amazing. We spent 4 hrs there!
     
    Tomorrow we are going to pick up my baby and head home.
     
    Food has been a problem. I have tried to be good. I have eaten protein first, but the portions are bad. I have no restriction, so I can eat anything. I will be glad to get a fill ASAP! Guess we will find out tomorrow what the damage is! :thumbup::confused:
     
    I miss talking to everyone! It will be good to get home and back to normal, but the time away with hubby was priceless!
     
    Oh, another yucky topic. Ok, so I have been pooping, not as much, but still. Anyway, it's almost like my poop is acid. My butt burns even after i wipe, then my butt hurts all day till I bathe and soak my butt. Don't know what to do about it. Gross I know, but you all should know by now that pooping and farting are one of my favorite topics!
     
    love to all!!!
  4. knrpick
    Ok, so I've basically started already. But officially I'm going on soft food, yay for me!
     
    My swelling is down, so I have zero restriction, and I can eat ANYTHING! Which is really really really bad!
     
    I'm going to call and see if I can get an early fill or something. I'm even pooping on regular intervals, which isn't a bad thing, just odd because everyone else has problems.
     
    Farting is GREAT! I just keep blaming my surgery and the kids buy it!:cursing: Isn't it great to blame something like that on surgery? I think so!
     
    I finally broke down and told my mom that I had surgery. I was shocked, and I mean shocked at what she said. :cursing::eek::cursing:
    She said she was proud of me for doing something good for me! She was so happy! She is one who I was scared to tell. She never approves of anything I do. When I went and started breeding huskies, all she and dad said is, "I'm glad your husband loves you.....he's a saint". So, as you can tell, I didn't want to tell them. Well mom called and told me dad wasn't doing well. She is planning his 80th birthday and wants all 7 kids there as a suprise. So we are flying out Aug 6th-9th. I will still be on mushies so I wanted to warn her. I'm glad that's over with!
     
    Anyway, love to all and Stacy, I hope you all the best and you feel better real soon! Rhonda...... you rock! I'm proud of you for not throwing up your hands and saying, just take it out already!!!!!!
     
    love you!
  5. knrpick
    I spent half the day talking, well texting, to Kevin while at work. He finally conceeded and we got a baby girl puppy. This weekend, we will get a male! We are going to sell our black and white female.
     
    He agreed to try breeding one more time with puppies this time. Ha no not breeding till they are older. Puppies are just a lot of work! That's why we have been getting older huskies.
     
    My weight is the same today. I did nothing most of the day. I woke up feeling under the weather, so I have THE best kids and the older ones watched the babies till noon! :cursing:
     
    We decided to pay the 2 older kids 10% of puppy sales and the babies 5% of the sales because they help and this will give insentive to keep helping.
     
    Stacy had surgery today! I look forward to hearing from her. Rhonda had her bandiversary today! Thank goodness she is alive and well. I was worried about her all wk. I THANK GOD I felt better than that! Sorry Rhonda!:cursing:
     
    Have a good night everyone!
     
    Oh wait! Found a new food!!!! Panera Bread FF Black Bean soup! Yummmmmmoooooooo!
  6. knrpick
    I'm so furious with my husband! i love him so much, he's just so infuriating! I have wanted a palm pre so bad! He said that when I had enough cash I could have one! I have $300 in cash from puppies and he said no! I sound like a kid I know, but I'm freaking furious! We fight all the time about breeding the huskies. I'm so tired of it! I think I'm going to sell both my females and all the puppies so we just have our min. pom and call it good! Having puppies, which has been a life long dream.... isn't worth having when all me and Kevin do it fight fight fight!:cursing:
     
    I just want to buy SOMETHING without having to ask! I know we are trying to get out of debt! I understand that we have over $80,000 of student loans to pay off. I understand that we have a budget! But this is exactly why I wanted to breed huskies, so I could have the cash to do with what I want. Granted, they cost money too, kennel, male dog, food, vet....on and on! We will make over $3800 on all our 11 puppies. You would think he could spare $300 for a phone! He said puppy money was mine. Then he renegs when I want something. He figures all that money will go back into account for all I have spent on dogs. I just want to scream, shout, and bitch, bitch, bitch:cursing::cursing::cursing::cursing::cursing:
     
    I want my own life at times! I want somethings for me! Why do I have to put my family first ALL the time!???????? I'm tired of being an adult! I love my family and tomorrow i will feel different, but right now i just want to scream and vent! :cursing::cursing::cursing:
     
    Oh, side note..... I've lost 2 more lbs!:tongue:
  7. knrpick
    One week ago today I did something that changed my life! I have had my ups and downs, ins and thank goodness outs, but I'm so thrilled I did it. It's a dream come true to lose 17 lbs in 3 wks. 2 wks of liquids and 1 after surgery.
     
    Yes, I can sleep on my sides, and it's a dream come true!
     
    I'm sooooo bad, so don't tell anyone, but I celebrated my bandiversary by eating an egg. Yup! I did it and no I don't regret it!
     
    My healing is going great! My only site that hurts in my port site. And I think it still hurts because my pants are right on that stupid incision! My only problem now, is like yesterday I sat up at the movie theater, Harry Potter of course, and when I scrunch down it feels like I'm bending my belly in half, so I had to switch positions a lot! Oh well, prices to pay to see a great movie!
     
    Oh, poop alert! Yup, I pooped again! Kinda weird to look forward to pooping. Feel like I'm potty training my kids again. I came out of the bath room and raised my hands up and said to everyone, "Congratulate me, I freaking pooped!" My 2 teenagers were rolling on the ground, thank goodness no friends were over, and my 2 little ones just rolled their eyes! I even texted Kevin, my Sweetheart, and told him. He was so proud! :thumbup:
     
    I sold another puppy tonight. My goodness can't believe how fast I'm selling them and i haven't even started advertising them yet. This one was only 3 wks old, so they will have to come back, but they were thrilled! I think I attached a picture of him. Guess we will wait and see!
     
    Sleep well, one and all!
  8. knrpick
    Wow, today is Sunday, well Monday but I'm posting for yesterday. Today I had to go to church, so I wore a bra allllll day! My incisions are high, one is under my breast. Bras hurt like HELLLLL! I finally came and and threw that puppy OFF! I am free and happy!
     
    I got in all my water, and food and protein. Ummmm......weird but I have no funny anicdotes. It was just a good day. My gas is coming out constantly. My son is jealous! I can fart louder than he can! I'm so proud!
    I think what has helped is we have 2 female siberian huskies who both gave birth a week apart. I am up and down with them all day. Pups are worth it because they are freaking hillarious, but I definatly get my exercise in. .
     
    Happy farting one and all!:tt1::thumbup:
  9. knrpick
    Yup, I went there! I am proud to say that 5 days post op I pooped! I never felt so much relief in my life!
     
    Last night I was drinking my soup, and I got up and passed out! I'm so pissed at myself! I felt kinda crummy all day, so I spent the day in bed. I didn't drink or eat much yesterday, so that's why.
     
    I am having such a hard time figuring out if I'm full. I know that sounds so weird, but I drink my 4 oz and I can't tell if I'm full or not. Have I stretched out my pouch? What if I did something wrong when I ate that dreaded chicken? :smile2:
     
    I don't know if what I'm doing is right!!!!!
  10. knrpick
    Wow, 2 days in a row are monumental! Here's my strategy for the day and it worked.
     
    Breakfast: 8 AM- grits watered down with milk and splenda....mmmmmmmm
     
    drink 16.9 oz of water in 2 hours
     
    10 AM Protein Shake
     
    drink 16.9 oz of water
     
    Noon: Lunch 4 oz cup of SF pudding
     
    drink 16.9 oz of water
     
    I was so full of water I didn't have my shake till 3 PM
     
    5 PM: dinner-- tomato soup with milk YUM!
     
    drink 16.9 oz of water---I had Crystal light this time.
     
    At 7:30 is when I always get my munchies, old habits die hard! Well I found my new Savior food! SF FUDGECYCLES! uh huh, yup. I eat atleast 3 a day!:tt1::thumbup:
     
    Anyway, that's my schedule, and it actually worked! I'm going to try that every day. I'm not shaky like I was last night because I got all my water in. I also ordered Unjure? is that right? Anyway, you guys told me to add the unflavored into stuff so i get more protein in. So I'm looking forward to getting those samples:thumbup:
  11. knrpick
    This morning I woke up feeling so much better. I was able to get up without too much discomfort and I only had to get up once during the night. So funny, I forgot to add that I came home from surgery and gained 9 lbs. My sweet husband, who is a nurse anesthetist, reminded me that I had 4 bags of IV during the day so I had a lot of water weight on me. I'm down a couple pounds, so I'm not worried.
     
    I'm extremely worried by my hunger today! Yikes! My doc has me on 4 oz of full liquids ex: pudding, soup, milk, etc. Then snack 4 oz of protein shake. Lunch 4 oz full liquids, snack 4 oz protein shake. Dinner 4 oz full liquids. Holy crap, I'm freaking starving!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:blushing:
     
    I did find people who had my problem, so I guess it's normal, but, I THOUGHT the band was supposed to supress hunger!!!! oh well, this too shall pass...... right?
     
    Rhonda(Arb) is out of hospital and doing fine. She had surgery today.
  12. knrpick
    Wow, I woke up today and felt great! Gas is still there, but I'm walking straighter. I got up and had some grits. I then walked 15 min on the treadmill. Not like normal, I usually walk a mile in 18 min. I walked 1/2 mile in 15 min. 2 miles per hour. Ouch! Guess I still have a ways to go, but atleast I walked! Tried doing the elliptical, nope, not yet. Too much movement in the arms, hurts my stomach.
     
    I'm so glad I see a difference every day! I think I have actually lost all my water weight from surgery, too! Now we will wait and see how my hunger does for today!:smile2:
     
    It's evening now and I did a stupid thing. I had chicken, very moist, and only a couple bites and mashed potatoes. No nothing hurt, but talking to you all, I've learned my lesson and let my body heal.
     
    I have found a savior food!!!! sugar free fudgecycles! OMG I think I will live!!!!!
     
    I drove for the first time today, didn't remember how much ab muscles you use when you drive.
     
    OVER ALL, I feel great today. Now, like my c-sections, I need to remember not to do too much too soon. I just want life to get back to normal and I want to take care of my family not the other way around.
     
    Thanks for everyones posts on the site, it helped me a lot today when I screwed up!
  13. knrpick
    I don't know if I will be able to sleep tonight. I have to be there at 7:15, but we have to leave at 5:30 to get there on time.
     
    I have been on clear liquids all day today and I can't stand watching food commercials! I'm STARVING!!!!!!!!
     
    The biggest thing I'm scared about is food! Can I know when I'm full? Can I stop eating when I am full? Can I actually lose weight AND keep it off? I have failed at every diet I've ever been on because i reverted back to bad habits. Will I revert? I want so desperately to succeed at this. I'm self pay and $12,500 is a butt load to come out on my own. I don't want to dissapoint my kids or worse, my husband!:cursing:
     
    Wish me luck! I will post ASAP!
     
    Thanks also for everyones comments!
  14. knrpick
    Today is my first day of my blog. There are a lot of feelings going on right now. I feel good that I have lost 11 lbs on this protein diet thing and my surgery is Monday the 13th. I hate the constant thought of food, food, food. :biggrin:
     
    We have 2 female siberian huskies who had pups 1 wk apart. No, it wasn't planned! My re/white husky just killed another of Spirits pups last night. I'm so depressed and over-whelmed and don't know what to do. Poor Spirit is still looking for her pup! I have Sasha shut away with her pups in the garage, so I pray nothing else happens.
     
    I know this 10 day pre diet is worth it, but I'm so tired of worrying about what my family is eating, or can I cook for them. I did make one nice meal for them and spent the entire dinner torturing myself by sitting with them as a family. I finally got up, took my shake upstairs and watched tv in my room. I didn't want to smell or look at the food. Since then, I have make them do their own dinners, which I feel horrible over!!!! My kids are 15, 14, 9, 8 so they still need their mommy!
  15. knrpick
    It's not huge, and it's not as big as it should be, but I hit a new low since......omg, uh probably after my 1st child in 1994. I realized that i have been obese for 16 yrs! YIKES! Well I now am at 246! 1 more lb and my husband will get me an all day inclusive massage! NOW THAT'S WORTH IT! I don't know why I just can't get it together. I do know that I'm tight in the morning, so I have a protein shake every morning. For lunch, hmmmm yesterday I had nothing because I ahve been sick. Dinner, I had hamburger helper, veggies and augrautin potatos. I can't seem to get my amounts right. I can eat and eat, which sucks. But if I eat the wrong things.... boy I throw up, and it takes forever to do that, I lean over the sink and it comes up little bits at a time, or mostly just foam and therefore don't feel relief or not feel like throwing up for about 1/2 an hour
     
    For the last 2 wks, I have had a cold, and now when ever I eat, my stomach hurts and I mean hurts. I wake up fine, but as soon as i eat something, WHAM, i want to die! I wonder if it's a bug, but it's been going on forever, I just don't know what to do:confused
     
    The kids.....they are OK. Bug is learning to deal with stress, therapy is helping. On the other hand, Logan, therapy is a total joke to him and he is just saying what he's supposed to say. He is doing breathe therapy and hypnotherapy, and he seems to do better than just talk. (I LOVE OUR THERAPIST) But even Steve, the therapist, said he is so self centered, and narcasistic that nothing fazes him. Heres a new one for him.......
     
    I get an email from his spanish teacher...which happens quit frequently, the problem usually is that he can open the book and he has learned it instantly. Therefore he disrups the class. Anyway, she did say, thank you for talking to him, he is SLIGHTLY more respectful, but on a different note she said that she provides pens for her students to use and then return at the end of the hour. It obviously comes out of her own budget or she wouldn't be getting mad, but Logan consistantly does not return his pens. She saw his backpack one day and he had aobut 20 of her pens! So.....we sit him down and ask him why the hell he is doing something so stupid, but in a nicer way. And he point blank said, "I hate her". That simple! He said that he was going to return them at the end of the year and he;s doing it to just piss her off. I was just dumbfounded that he would confess and say such blatant things. What a dork. So, the therapist said, make the punishment fit the crime. Well, I told him that there will be consequenses because he is stealing. He said it's not stealing if I return it by the end of the year! UH.....NO! It's still stealing. He just doesn't get it. Oh so i told him he would be punished, the audacity of that child he just said, "bring it on". WHAT A PRICK! Ok i sound like I don't love my son, I do, but his actions, WOW! Ok, so he leaves and Kevin and I start laughing once we figure out what to do. We decided to take his backpack away until he returns the pens. Seems small, but his backpack weighs a good 40 lbs with books and crap! The next morning he says, where is my backpack. Kevin said, this is your punishment, you will get it back when you return the pens. So he goes up to his room to get another bag.....smart kid..... but Kevin laughed and said, nope, that includes no other bags. Boy that just about did him in! So he takes all his books, papers AND the huge handfull of pens and walked to the car. He looked furious and uterlly rediculous. It was funny to see. He carries most of his books wherever he goes because his locker is so far away from his classes, so he carried all that around for the whole day. Spanish is last.....:rolleyes2::confused: I smile just thinnking about it. AM I A BAD MOTHER FOR BEING HAPPY OVER HIM BEING MISERABLE? I honestly don't care right now. Anyway, he comes home sullen and tired, with his head down, he said "*SIGH* i returned the pens" I just said, i'm proud of you, and I returned his backpack. The end! He definatly learned his lesson and hasn't done it again. It's just such a stupid and BLATANT defiance that I just don't know why he does these things. Well I do know this one because he actually verbalized for once why he was doing it, because he hated her, but WOW, what a jerk. He is soooooo into himself that he doesn't see beyond the end of his nose. The counselor said he IS making progress, but he said he can't fix narsasism. Logan has to want to fix that! YEAH, like that's going to happen, but we will see!
     
    Tori has cheer tryouts today, so pray for her. She needs this for her self esteem. On the other hand, Logan has drum major tryouts, and he has a huge upper hand because my degree was music conducting, so he does it perfect. I shouldn't have shown him, because now he says that he has it in the bag. I know this sounds bad, but I hope he doesn't make it, just to put him in his place and show that there are better people than him. Though...... as a mother, he IS an amazing conductor. He has worked so hard and I have given him hints and watched and watched till the cows come home and he just soaks it all in. When it comes to music, we NEVER disagree because we have that one thing in common. He knows I know what I'm doing, therfore he will listen. Funny story.....they are starting up a fall city band, which I'm helping to coordinate. Anyway, me and Logan are playing in it, we both play clarinet. I said, I will be first chair because I'm the best they have......I was so not being uppity, but I teach all the clarinets in Rolla, so..... yeah, well you know what I mean. Well, logan says, I play more than you do, so I will be first. Oh really! Ok then, can you play all the scales including all the minors, natural, harmonic, and melodic? HE just looks down and smiles and says no. I said, see? I actually still know more than you do! He just rolled his eyes. But it was hillarious to say something like that and know that I'm right and I finally put him in his place. Kevin, my hubby was right there, and he says, "Logan, when it comes to playing the clarinet, you just won't win with your mother". AWWWWWW , now THAT is support! I love that man! Overall we were just playing, but his playing tends to turn hurtful for me, and it felt so good to stand up to him and put him in his place. I have been working with Steve and he says I do need to stand up to him more, because Logan is abusive to me, verbally, not calling me names, but just talking down to me! So, it felt soooo empowering to do that! I'M WONDER WOMAN!

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