Rviewgal

I just had my 1 day orientation at the hospital yesterday. There was so much to think about, and to be honest one minute I am thrilled, and the next I am filled with doubts.

Can't figure out why I am holding on to all the failures, all the eating to cope, and all the loss of "normal" life because I am afraid I don't know how to live without food.

I remember after my heart attack I woke up ready to change my life, and I stuck with that diet and 30 lbs weight loss, and I was so committed. So why am I only lukewarm right now? Afraid of another failure? Of disappointment?

I have a big decision, do I embrace a new lease on life or do I stay afraid? Tonight I would say I still don't know.