I Can and I Will

I was blessed to have people who supported (and paided) for me to get this tool...gastric sleeve in August 2009. I want to say it here and now, do not step away from this forum when you are feeling good and that all is done. Do not let the embarrassment, shame or even despair keep you away AND if you are new to the forum, please be aware it can happen and always, ALWAYS come back. So here is my deal, I have gained 57 lb. back...totally walked away thinking I've got this and then life continues to happen. I would occasionally come back to the forum; however, was embarrassed because there were discussions about putting 5 or even 10 lbs. back on which made me feel that I really really messed up and feeling like a major failure. So, this is my way of overcoming my first obstacle...my pride AND we all need to talk about the reality WHEN it happens. Now, I'm not saying it is going to happen to everyone...truly, I am only saying WHEN so for those of us it does happen to we have a place to come back and not be humiliated or called out. Does that make sense??? I use food to deal with stress, anxiety and all that other junk...LOL. I want to put a caution out there...I had the food sort of under control and then have come to the realization that alcohol was now my new friend and over a period of the last 3 years the weight started coming back on and then guess what, I noticed one day my eating habits were right back where I started. I am grateful for the ability to have an area to come and begin again. It is my hopes to not scare anyone, I'm not a negative nelly either! Most of my friends see me as being a very positive person and yes, that is pressure as well....LOL. Today, I am behaving like I had my surgery yesterday. I'm scared, cautious and freaked out about what I will put in my body...LOL. The beauty is I know I can do this...one sip at a time. Okay...enough for now, have tears streaming down my face, laughing and glad to be back here....

Hey Roo...I just came back to the forum after being MIA I returned 50lbs up AND know the struggle. I decided to go back to the week after my surgery...all liquids????. First day golden...today...WOW! Been a hard day and I ate...now here is my kicker...I tracked everything and on a whole didn't do bad with my intake. So what's my point? Don't beat yourself up and get lost with the crazy cycle we all get...look at what you did RIGHT for the day...track your food and try to get creative. Tell yourself that every time you acknowledge (not look) that table (the little voice in your head that starts the trouble) you have to get up and walk away. I'm the same...LOL. The carbs are just brutal AND if you can get paste that first week it gets easier???????????????????????? Some one here said it...it's an addiction and you have been successful...you know how to do this to get back on track so do it sweet friend and don't beat yourself up. There is another great book called Untethering the Soul...it's about the self talk we do and how to let it pass;-) So, I did not fail today...I had a good day because I did something different that was still healthy. You've got this Roo!!!!

LOL...i totally can relate to recovery...I too use to work in the field many years ago and remember people kinda laughed a food addiction????. I absolutely have been saying today...GOD, GRANT THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THING I CAN NOT CHANGE, THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE! Thank you for the friendly share...we know this;-) it works if ya work it????????????????????????

Watch your own head games... You are first and make a great decision that will be so worth it...you are building strength with each little test. The one thing I wish I knew when I first got my surgery was the importance of BREATHING!!!! When you feel discouraged, anxious, angry...what ever...take three deep breaths and just breath...it negative energy will go????????????????????????. Healthy weight feels so much better and longer than a fast food meal????????????

Hey nugirl402.....remember the tortoise and the hare????. Please don't let your confidence and comfort get in the way. I'm back and 50lbs up. Didn't follow the guidelines and being realistic that there are reasons why I ended up back up????????????. Either way...glad you are here and for this forum!!!

Yeah????????????????...so my plan of attack...may be drastic; however, following the plan I did right after my surgery with a few additions. Clear liquids and walking each day. Just got back from my first mile walk....OMG! My hips are stressed...it's amazing how you begin to be aware of aches and pains after not paying attention???? Additionally, the day has gone over all really smooth...it's funny how I'm not hungry (as they told me originally) and how that little voice in my head is silent...LOL. I appreciate the welcome back for sure....nice to not be alone????????

I'm almost 3 years out my dear...you are mourning the relationship you had with food;-). I discovered (and still struggle) that I can turn to food and instantly escape from what ever I'm feeling at the time. Most of it for me is a distraction...acknowledge your feelings for sure and try to use it as a tool to identify "why" you turn to food. I fell off the wagon...you'll absolutely find ways to re-establish the relationship and before you know it, you are putting weight back on. Please don't be offended or scared by what I'm sharing...I'm back on these boards because I stepped away. We'll concern the unhealthy relationship and replace it with something much more meaningful....

Well...like everything else, moderation;-). I've been sleeved since August 2010 and have been putting on weight due to solid food eating habits. I hate the protein shakes so started to juice today. Amazing how you identify bad habits...wasn't hungry at all today; however, miss the eating...so, behavior modification starts over again on how to use my sleeve as a tool. Good luck everyone and stay focused...

Hey Ladies...work with your docs:-). You maybe deficient in some Vitamins. From my perspective some of the mood swings and emotions are normal; however can be compounded if you are low in vitamins B, D and one called DHEA. It took me going and getting blood workmtomidentify. I'm going on 3 years and not as good as I should from nutritional value of foods. I'm on Vitamin supplements and can definitely tell when. Be patient as the surgery....I'm an emotional eater and when I got my surgery the transition was really a challenge because I couldn't go to my old friend food which absolutely made me moody and depressed. IT WILL GET BETTER;-)

Need some moral support and feedback from some of the older slivers:-). I'm 18 months out and have put on five lbs (coming out of the holidays). Trying to get my head back in the game; however this is bribing up old junk!!! How many calories a day are folks eating and what is the Quality of food? Alcohol? Just need some reality checks so I can refocus...Thanks

Thanks Coop! Lesson learned for today.... Hungry or not hungry...that is the question? Today was my first day of really being focused about what I'm putting in my body. Very interesting as I had a "feeling" in my stomach that one could possibly mistake for hunger; HOWEVER! I drank liquids all day and did not suffer at all...as a matter of fact, I am trying focus on "being in the moment" and truly assessing if it's hunger, thurst or JUST MY IMAGINATION RUNNING AWAY WITH ME! I can absolutely tell you that I'm an emotional eater...happy, sad, borded.... So, accomplishments for the day: - walked one mile this morning - drank all my Water - at all my Protein - didn't get on my pity pot! Thanks for a good day God! Good night folks and may all of you continue in your own successful personal journeys...difficulties and all! Caro

Well I'm a total of 12lbs. up...in the past week God has put some little "reminders" in front of me. I'm realizing I do a lot of "mindless" eating or grazing. In addition, I'm eating like a use to. Since coming out of the Holidays have had additional challenges over the past 6 months and my husband of all people finally confronted me about "not taking care of myself". I can ABSOLUTELY tell you that I am spiraling back into old habits and now the real work is getting ready to take place. I haven't been on this site because of fear and not reading a lot about the "challenges". How many people have stopped coming because they are back in that dark place. Any and all moral support is graciously appreciated...I'm going to go back on liquids and start the pre and post op diet to see if I can gradually get back in the game. Thanks everyone....just needed to be accountable to people who understand versus people who are watching everything I do... Caro

Glad you are okay! Congratulations on the loss:tongue_smilie:

Obesity is another area of diversity and discrimination as well folks:tongue_smilie: It's obvious for some when it comes to relationships...pay attention to professional relationships as well. It may be me; however, I'm still the same professional fat or thin and I've noticed differences in how people approach me and include me in work related decisions. End result, people are people and we all have biases...it's funny how I have to be careful about not becoming "frustrated" with people who make fat jokes or disrespectful comments...what do they know, they've never walked in my shoes yet, I've never walked in theirs either. Enjoy the change and don't over think it:blushing: Let people notice the person you are both inside and out...don't be mad or upset about the past, you are moving forward so don't let our old "stinkin thinkin' and hurt feelings" take us back when we've worked so hard to move forward. I'm still in discovery mode and hope to be until I die...makes the ride a beautiful thing you know:biggrin0:

Well folks, today was officially my one year anniversary! I went for my one year check up today and I can not believe how fast this past year has gone by! There have been many changes in my life (generally, life happening) and I can't tell you that it hasn't been without some sorrow because I couldn't rely on my "good friend" food; HOWEVER, I will tell you it is a journey and YOU ALL CAN DO IT! I am amazed at how long it took me to make the decision compared to how long it has taken to get down. I still have about 15 lbs to go; however, the journey is not over...it's a bench mark and celebration for success! Now the remaining 15 is exercise and diet (according to my doctor). You all continue to be in my prayers and please be good to yourself and HAVE NO FEAR! LET GO AND JUST DO IT! It will be scarey for a small period of time; however, you will survive and adjust. :thumbup1::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:

Work with your doctors:scared0: I had challenges with the vitiamins and like a silly person, stopped taking them. Four months later...not thinking it has anything to do with my WLS & diet (thought it was stress from work and life in general) was feeling depressed and not sleeping. Got some additional blood work and I was low in Vit. D, B and another called DHEA all resulting in mood/depression and potential bone issues! It's been two weeks taking suppliments and I'm feeling WAY WAY WAY better. Each of us has a different reaction/chemistry and because of our diet behaviors I bodies react differently....please work with your doctors so you aren't doing any hidden long-term damage. okay...I'm off my little rant Ladies...just want everyone to be successful and healthy:001_smile:

You are all feeling NORMAL:tongue_smilie: The key is chewing your food really good and slowing down! I continually think...how slow can you eat 5 bites! Yes, 4-5 bites:001_rolleyes: I had my surgery in August of 2009 and continually hit new types of adjustments...however, for the first time in a long time, I'm feeling better. Please my dear friends...remember this is a tool...we still have to deal with the behaviors we need to change:blushing: One thing to try that may help is take your food and cut it up into the size that you would give a child who is being introduced to solid foods. It makes it easier to chew (actually making sure it's chewed enough). We still take "normal bites" and "chew it normal" and then "swallow normal" into a stomach that is now much much smaller. Silly way to think of it; however, break it down. For the first time in my life I'm having to eat CONSCIOUSLY all the time...I have to think of every bite and this is a MAJOR change for me because when I don't eat consciously, I always take that 5th or 6th bite and it's to late. I miss eating unconsciously; however, I remember how big I got and the trade off... You all are in my thoughts and prayers...it will get better as time goes on:thumbup:

I'm there with you:-) I had surgery in August 2009...down 90lbs and haven't lost any weight in the last two months...old behaviors are creeping back just in smaller portions:crying:. Kind of scarey...stress related I"m sure. I just bought a book called Women, God and food in an attempt to try and learn more about what's going on;-) The good part of the situation is you are aware of the behavior so now make a plan. Bottom line is don't loose faith. This is a tool to help in our journey...it doesn't solve what got us here in the first place;-) We'll get there friend...:thumbup: