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ShannieJD

LAP-BAND Patients
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Everything posted by ShannieJD

  1. I got the Lapband in July 2009. Before I got the band I had a severe mental block with "calorie counting," making healthy choices, exercise, etc. Like many people who get weight loss surgery, I felt like I needed to take drastic measures to protect me from myself. No matter how much I wanted to be thin, no matter how depressed my fat made me feel, I could not stop eating. I thought the Lapband was the thing that was going to protect me from myself. And it did, for a while. From the time I got my band I lost about 10 pounds per month. I felt like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders because no matter what food I chose to eat, I could not over eat. I could eat cake if I wanted, but just a little. I could go out to a restaurant and order anything I wanted without feeling scrutiny from the crowd. And I did not have to worry about whether I was making a bad choice or not because I knew I was still going to lose weight. The band was my ever present friend, protecting me from myself. It was wonderful, and effortless. The world around me began to treat me differently. I had been thin before, so I knew what it felt like to get positive attention from others regarding my looks. It felt good. It also felt good for my boyfriend who was now the object of envy, whereas before he was the object of curiousity. "Why is he with her? He is so cute, she has gained so much weight," etc. I went from a 242 starting weight to 220, 210, 200, 190, 180, 170, 160, 150, 140, 135 ---- It was amazing. Every time I stepped on the scale I had lost weight. Then, in November 2010, I kept losing and couldn't stop. I went from 135 to 125 then 118....which is too thin for my height. I looked like a skeleton. I thought that my band was too tight and needed to be loosened. However, when I couldn't get an appointment with my band doctor soon enough, I went to the emergency room. They did some blood work and found that my potassium was dangerously low and I was at risk for a heart attack. The doctor also did an x-ray and told me that my band had slipped down and was strangling my stomach. They told me that they had to do emergency surgery that day to remove it. But first they had to get my potassium high enough so that I would survive the surgery. NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!. Don't take away my security blanket! Don't take away my insurance policy and leave me to my own devices! Especially, don't take it away from me today without any warning. I cried. The doctor took out the lapband. He was NOT a fan of the lap band claiming that he had to take out about 4-6 per week that slipped. The moment they took out the lapband a sheet of anxiety hit me like a ton of bricks. I began to think that I was going to gain weight uncontrollably. The anxiety about about food and gaining weight caused me to eat. I felt anxious about eating, so I began to eat. I tried in vain to take some preventative measures, like join weight watchers. But my uncontrollable will to eat was stronger than my willpower to stop it. I immediately began gaining weight. Which was 'ok' at first because I was underweight to begin with.But then I began to gain more and more. I went from underweight, to normal weight, to overweight. Now I think I am on the brink of obese again, If I have not already reached that point. This all happened in a span of 7 months. I am now at 210 and don't know where I am going to go from here. The doctor told me that I had to wait for one full year for my stomach to heal enough to have any other kind of surgery. I can never have the band again because of what it did to my stomach. Now my option is the sleeve. At first I just wished they could put me in a coma and wake me when it was time to have the surgery. I did not feel that I could sustain the horrors of weight gain. At about 192 I started therapy for my disordered eating and began really learning a lot. I had been in therapy before, but never with someone who specialized in disordered eating. I am learning that I am not truly alone. Many, many people use food as the mechanism to deal with any emotion they may feel (or may try not to feel). I am learning that for myself, and for other people, food is a constant in my life. It is always there for me when I need it, It never lets me down. I eat when I feel happy, eat when I feel sad, eat when I feel anxious, eat as a response to almost any emotion. At this point I believe that when I am able to have the sleeve in October 2011, I will still want it as my back up plan to protect me from myself. But I hope at that point to have a different perspective and possibly the ability to show different responses to feelings and emotions other than eating.
  2. ShannieJD

    Popcorn???

    I can't eat popcorn, if I do I PB. I ate popcorn at the movies and had to make sure I had an extra cup to throw up in. But I was by myself and no one noticed. If you're with a friend, I wouldn't advise it unless you know how your band will tolerate the popcorn ahead of time.
  3. ShannieJD

    About time!!!

    That stinks that you had to wait so long. I got my band on 7/21 and have had two fills already. It is kind of bitter sweet though. Going from being able to eat food one minute, then having to go to liquids/protein the next. Good luck with your fill.
  4. I had a fill on 9/21 and was just like you. I really couldn't keep any "real" food down. However, I decided to wait it out, and now a few weeks later it seems to have calmed down and I have pretty good restriction. However, I just got by band in July, and this was only my second fill. My Dr. told me there would be a lot of fluctuation in the beginning. If you have had your band for a while, I'd say you are probably too tight.
  5. No one but my boyfriend knows I have the lap-band. I was banded on 7/21/09 and have lost about 25 pounds. No one has noticed. But I have and I feel better. And sometimes, I think people just aren't that observant. My cousin was telling me that she ran into a lady the other day that she hadn't seen for a while and told the lady that she looked nice, and did she get a new hat? And the lady told her 'no' she had lost 100 pounds! Can you believe it, that lady was probably so mad! My cousin really didn't notice a 100 pound weight loss.
  6. ShannieJD

    Called off the surgery - anyone feeling this way?

    I think that you need to go with your gut feeling on what decision feels right to you. I wanted to call of the surgery as the nurse was putting the IV in my arm, but I didn't. Then, after the surgery was over, I wished I had had the guts to walk out when it didn't feel right. Now I am 10 days post op, and I am adjusting ok at this point, but I am not sure I actually "needed" the surgery. I have lost weight with the protein shakes, which I could have done without the band. I am just hoping that as time goes on it will help me to maintain the weight loss and not regain. Only time will tell if it was the right decision or not. But if I were to do it again, I probably would have canceled at this point.
  7. I have had a lot of surgeries. I find that baby oil is the best to remove the glue residue.

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