LittleBird

I was reading that "dopamine" is the brain trigger in the "reward center" of our brains. Now I don't really know what the heck that means except that it happens when I eat - its only common sense - I enjoy eating therefore my brain puts out "dopamine" when I do. So, I got to thinking, I just need to have that happen in some other way - besides food especially when I get banded. So I told my husband that sex also triggers dopamine. He smiled. I didn't use the treadmill last night - traded that excercise for *ahem* something else....I'm not a big sex fiend, but hey if it keeps me out of the fridge...why not! Speaking of the fridge, I have this "middle of the night" eating thing I do. :hungry: I'm worried about how that is going to be impacted with the band. I get up, I eat, and go back to bed. I guess I'll have to put a lock on the kitchen area or something! As I feel asleep :notagree last night I was "on the table" being put under for surgery, but I wasn't all they way out - I was terrified the Dr. was going to cut me and I'd still feel it.....My subconsious trying to tell me something.....hmmm.

I got my loan docs today. I realize I paid a deposit and purchased airline tickets, but in the back of my head, I keep saying - if I change my mind, it'll be ok - not too much money on the line....with these loan docs I'm commiting 100%. Signing and going to get copies of everything to fax then overnight to them. Not having the highest credit score (which I still don't understand! I've worked so hard the last 4 years and its still low!) my finance options were limited. The rate is not the greatest and there is a loan fee that is ludicrus, but even if I don't pay it off early, I'll still be paying much less than having a US surgery I'm thinking of it like a car loan....besides I'm going to save money every month on food and not buying cigarettes! I haven't quit smoking yet. August 1st is the day.... I'm down another pound. Could be more, but my scale is screwy so I'm being conservative. I know the Atkins induction doesn't include fruit, but my DH stopped at the produce stand and got fresh peaches - I had one for breakfast. There is nothing like the taste of that juicy fruit as it drips down your chin - it was so refreshing.... Walked again last night - 1.25 miles at about 3 MPH. Slow I know, but I don't have anyone to impress. I just want to build on a regime I know I'll stick to and keep progressing.

It's good to realize WHY you are scared of success (you mentioned if you lose those 15 lbs what people will expect from you...)- so you can face that fear, realize its not the way it has to be and accoplish your goal in spite of the fear.

I got my loan docs today. I realize I paid a deposit and purchased airline tickets, but in the back of my head, I keep saying - if I change my mind, it'll be ok - not too much money on the line....with these loan docs I'm commiting 100%. Signing and going to get copies of everything to fax then overnight to them. Not having the highest credit score (which I still don't understand! I've worked so hard the last 4 years and its still low!) my finance options were limited. The rate is not the greatest and there is a loan fee that is ludicrus, but even if I don't pay it off early, I'll still be paying much less than having a US surgery I'm thinking of it like a car loan....besides I'm going to save money every month on food and not buying cigarettes! I haven't quit smoking yet. August 1st is the day.... I'm down another pound. Could be more, but my scale is screwy so I'm being conservative. I know the Atkins induction doesn't include fruit, but my DH stopped at the produce stand and got fresh peaches - I had one for breakfast. There is nothing like the taste of that juicy fruit as it drips down your chin - it was so refreshing.... Walked again last night - 1.25 miles at about 3 MPH. Slow I know, but I don't have anyone to impress. I just want to build on a regime I know I'll stick to and keep progressing.

I've been having headaches every day for a week now! I can't tell what its from - I do get migranes, but not daily - maybe 1-2 times a month. Ever since Atkins this last week I have a headaches all day. Anyone else? I was told no tylenol or ibuprophen before surgery so I hope it stops!

Everyone I've talked to says "Walk, Walk, Walk" and "walk some more" to get that pain to subside....

I totally hear you on this - I'm thinking if I can do low carb and lose--- ahhh, but then I've said that HOW many times over the last several years?

Apparently you have the same problem as in my area - I found out about a support group - and posted it (I live in Arlington) but I got no replies online....I'm with you in spirit! I think getting together is a great way to stay connecting, have fun, meet new people and support each other in our common journey.

We'll I must be the only one on here who lives in Arlington....I was suprised to get no replies! I went that night and it was great. I needed to meet people in person and talk over my questions. I thought it was funny we met in a restaurant - but I had Soup and salad while everyone else had tea! I'm looking forward to participating more in the support group and would love to see more people attend - perhaps getting to meet more than one time a month for an activity or something.....

I tried to get my DH to let me go buy an AirConditioner during the heat - he said it was only a few days and wouldn't agree. :huggie: I spent time in the kids' pool the EZ Set and stayed in my car as much as I could! sleeping when its hot like that is a real bear!

Wow - I didn't get that information about the balloons...I wonder if cardio workouts count toward increasing the 'lunch" capaicity? (funny slip!)

My surgery is August 16th. My journal tells all about how I've been feeling....I'm glad to be a part of the August Bandsters! I can't wait till the day comes.

I'm a smoker - I read that I can't smoke 2 weeks before surgery...why do you ask? If I go that far, I'm just going to quit all together.

I have 21 days to surgery and I'm scared. Fear is the body's way to keep change at bay - we get comfortable in every sense of the word and change is a threat. I know this. I'm not going to give in to fear. Some one said having LapBand is like "freedom" and thats what I'm going to believe. Having already lost some weight - I think "I can just do this on my own" but then I remember how many times I've been down that road and it all comes back. I went to AA last night - haven't been in a while. Someone suggested I should tell my sponsor my plans, so I went with that in mind. I was pushed away - for real, not just my perception. I was told "don't let life get in the way of AA". Wow. That was the last place I expected to be judged for not meeting someone elses expectations. It's ok. I'll get my support elsewhere. On another note - they had cake - very moist yummy cake - I thought "I can't eat that!!", but then I had a celebration of sorts. I decided this may very well be the last cake I ever eat. I took the smallest piece and savored every bite - cream cheese frosting and rasperries with chocolate....I told myself to feel no guilt and just enjoy the flavor knowing it was the last for a very long time. So I did. I feel strong in my decision (in spite of fear) and every time I think about it - it comes in flashes of excitement and anticipation throughout the day - I get that little jolt of adreneline...you know the one??

I'm just doing the low carb Atkins diet for my preop diet to lose weight. (I'm down 5lbs) but I wonder if I should be going low fat as well based on this conversation.....I was told one week before to just do protien shakes and green lettuce....Are you guys talking about something altogether different?

I have 21 days to surgery and I'm scared. Fear is the body's way to keep change at bay - we get comfortable in every sense of the word and change is a threat. I know this. I'm not going to give in to fear. Some one said having LapBand is like "freedom" and thats what I'm going to believe. Having already lost some weight - I think "I can just do this on my own" but then I remember how many times I've been down that road and it all comes back. I went to AA last night - haven't been in a while. Someone suggested I should tell my sponsor my plans, so I went with that in mind. I was pushed away - for real, not just my perception. I was told "don't let life get in the way of AA". Wow. That was the last place I expected to be judged for not meeting someone elses expectations. It's ok. I'll get my support elsewhere. On another note - they had cake - very moist yummy cake - I thought "I can't eat that!!", but then I had a celebration of sorts. I decided this may very well be the last cake I ever eat. I took the smallest piece and savored every bite - cream cheese frosting and rasperries with chocolate....I told myself to feel no guilt and just enjoy the flavor knowing it was the last for a very long time. So I did. I feel strong in my decision (in spite of fear) and every time I think about it - it comes in flashes of excitement and anticipation throughout the day - I get that little jolt of adreneline...you know the one??

I feel "overlooked" because of my size but its not where I WANT to be. I want to be noticed for the me thats inside - the same me that will be here when I lose the weight - The men are in for a surprise! I'm glad you enjoyed the poem.

I work with a lot of men overall - but only about 12 in the sales department. Most of them are very nice - but they are just "guys" (sorry). I've been in auto sales for just over 3 years. I do love it too....

I've been faithfully doing the low carb diet - the one I love - for a week or two anyway - until anything green makes me want to run and hide! The good news is I've lost 5 lbs in the few days I've been doing it. Considering that is the first time the scale has moved THAT direction in about 6 months, thats a real high for me. Taking in less carbs I feel my energy slowing coming back...Enought that I dusted off my treadmill and took a "walk" last night. Did just over a mile - slowly so as not to overdo it - overall with warm up and warm down I walked about 27 minutes. Now the trick is to keep that up -every day! My dad is having a breakdown about the surgery. He is sending me some article from USA today. I looked it up online. It's an article primarly about Gastric Bypass surgery that is based on old data and stats. I don't need his approval, but his attitude is frustrating. If I had cancer would he tell me not to do chemo?? I don't think he realizes LapBand and Gastric Bypass are totally different things.

I agree with you - it goes both ways. doesn't even have to be the opposite sex, woman treat women poorly or pre-judge all the time.

Me too! My dad used to drink milk out of the jug, look at me and say "don't ever do this..." Now I say the same to my kids! My favorite thing is seeing green fields being watered by irrigation sprinklers. Reminds me of home!

I had the wonderful opportunity to go to a very local support group yesterday - just a couple of miles from the house! I called my primary Dr. today to make sure I'm "good to go". She's on vacation, wouldn't you know it, but the RN is going to have her call me when she gets back next week. The RN at the support group said it was a good idea to rule out anything that might present complications BEFORE going to Mexico. It's good advice and something I wouldn't have thought of on my own. I'm very excited to have a support group of real live and in person people to ask questions of, meet, and talk to. Hubby went with me as well and I think it helped put him at ease. I started the low carb yummy Atkins diet (I'm being a little sarcastic as I was on the diet for a year and I am no longer fond of all those greens daily) for real yesterday to help with my pre-op weight loss. I'd like to lose 12 lbs as that is 5% of my total body weight. I figure anything I lose now will just get me that much closer to my goal after the surgery. I talked to my step mom yesterday - who is a nurse - and she didn't give me the ration of shit my dad did. I know they are both just worried about me and want me to be "ok" but they aren't in my flesh and I hate feeling like I have to justify my decision to them. The conversation went ok - she said half of her coworkers (at the hospital) have had the surgery. She also said she thinks the ones who have the best success use high end liquid multi vitamins including B. I'll have to check that out.

Yes - My husband loves me - regardless of my size and for that I'm very grateful. It just frustrates me that some people literally 'overlook' people who are heavy. I think the words in this latest creation really say EXACTLY what I feel.... Since I've decided on the lap band -- I've noticed I have different feelings toward all builds right now - I appreciate the women with thin, beautiful, healthy bods and I feel connected with women who have a larger build too - like me! I guess its like when you think you might be pregnant, you start seeing pregnant woman everywhere....:confused:

I was reading this yesterday: http://www.azcentral.com/health/diet/articles/0718wsj-addiction-transfer18-ON.html They are talking primarly about "gastric bypass" which effects the digestion of the alcohol, but I think they bring a point that is worth looking at. As a recovering alcoholic myself, I relize I need to find my "healthy addiction" before I have my surgery. Tony Robbins says if something meets 3 of 6 human needs, it will become an addiction: certainty, uncertainty, significance, connection/love, growth (not physical), and contribution. For me - I'm thinking besides finding a new "excersise" addiction, it might be helpful to do so in a group/support way to create the accountability and "contribution" and "connection" factor - helping others while helping myself too. I do feel that I've isolated myself - since I quit drinking especially and don't want to make that mistake with the band.

I'm with you! This is what I do too! I used to work in an adult care facility and actually got good at folding sheets, including fitted, but why do it if you don't have to!