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Thank you, all, this was very helpful! I will let you know what the doctor suggests, hopefully he can shed some light on things. :biggrin: Thanks again! Shannon

Hi all! I have chatted with a few people and attended a meeting about the band. From what I have heard those places it sounded like the general rule was that one's "goal weight" was 80% of the weight that they should lose. So, if one weighs 200lbs and should weigh 150lbs, their goal weight would be 160lbs. I have noticed on this board, though, that people's goals seem low sometimes. Did you all use this method for ideal weight or some other? Thanks, in advance! Shannon

Hi again all! I have a question about how long the pre-op. process has taken most folks. My insurance has a $1,000 deductable so I am nervous that I will have to pay that twice, if I start right now and don't get surgery by 12/31/10, (which I doubt is possible anyway but I thought I'd ask, in case anyone was able to get the process set up more quickly than 6 months). I have Blue Cross Blue Shield and the surgery will be covered 90%, if I use an in-network surgeon. So, how long was your journey from first bariatric doctor's appointment to surgery? Thanks, in advance! Shannon

Hi all! I have a few friends that have had bypass surgery and one who's had the band. My friends that got the gastric bypass all dropped a lot of weight but many of them had issues, (1 didn't heal properly and had to keep going back in, 1 became an alcoholic, 1 is losing muscle mass due to the rapid weight loss and gets dizzy spells etc.). My friend that got the lap band had no ill effects, (beside the normal food restriction adjustments), but she feels like she hasn't lost much and her band is almost full. I am really torn because I definitely need to lose. I have been heavy my whole life, (literally, for as long as I can remember), so I relish the thought of losing weight but, at the same time, gastric bypass makes me very nervous. My mother knows a woman that can't *stop* losing and is skin and bones now. Have any of you had problems losing with the band, (while following the basic instructions and food program)? What made you choose the band over bypass? What has been the key to your success? Have you had any loose skin issues? (I have heard that lap banders have better skin "snap back" because of the slower loss... have you noticed this)? I am not a sweet eater, usually. My issues are late night snacking, a love of all things starch, (especially bread, bagels etc.) and a sedentary lifestyle, (both for work and hobbies). Any insight you can give would be GREATLY appreciated! I don't mind losing a little less if the surgery is safer, (and I feel Lap Band IS a less invasive and, therefor, safer options on the whole), but I don't want to go through the whole process only to feel hungry 24-7 or lose only a small amount of weight. I have looked to impartial studies comparing the 2 processes but most of them are by one or the other school of thought, thus making one wonder if they aren't skewed. If you know of any recent, accurate, comparisons please let me know. Thank you, in advance! Shannon

Thanks, cwm812, I was curious about that. I am trying to start becoming more active now, and getting better habits, before the band... to "set myself up for success", so to speak. I like Wii sports and wii fit, just need the kick in the pants to use them more regularly! thanks again everyone! Shannon

Wow, thanks so much everyone! I have BCBS of NJ, (even though I am in NH), and they require a 6 month nutritional support and a lot more, (in the way of other requirements). They suggested, today, that a note from my Dr. might be able to lessen that a bit but that there were no guarantees. My BMI is 50 and I'd like to get this done before the end of the year, (so that I don't have to pay the copay twice... of $1,000 each year), and I am hoping that will help to encourage them to put it through. I was raised by a very health-conscious Mom and Dad so, knock on wood, that might help a little also...? Thanks again for your help, I will let folks know if I hear anything else. Shannon

Congrats on your success and kudos to you, for your hard work! Shannon

Thanks very much, all! Sugary drinks and candy aren't my issue, so hopefully the band will be better for me. I will keep researching but am still leaning toward the band, having my insides cut apart and reassembled makes me very nervous! Thanks again for your input, please feel free to add more if you think of it, any suggestions and thoughts are helpful. Do you all exercise a lot more then pre-op.? Have any of you had issues with punctures? I just saw a few videos about that, (I hadn't even heard of it being an issue). Does anyone know if that's a common thing or a rare case? Talk to you soon! Congrats to all of you for working so hard and making such giant leaps! 171lbs is probably going to be the minimum that I'll have to lose, (I am not sure the the doctor's goal is based on their sheet, my own personal comfort level or a mix of the two...?). Shannon Shannon

Wonderful topic, all, thanks for the multiple well thought responses. I didn't start the post but have enjoyed reading the comments! I personally feel similarly to others about the sexual attention nervousness. I am hoping, now that I have been married for almost 13 years, that those fears will be lessened as I don't feel that I *need* the attention. I like people finding me beautiful or even attractive but that look with objectification within it has always made my skin crawl. Could be because I am fairly femministic. :frown: I met my husband on a BBW website, (big, beautiful women), so I had that distance/safety level before meeting him in person. I have MUCH better luck with dating when I met the guys online, as silly as that sounds. I could make my profile as "tough" as I wanted it to be, to keep the abusers at bay. It worked. I got 3 great guys and had a blast with each of them. Due to this "pre-emptive screeening", (between e-mailing and hone calls), I knew the guys fairly well and got that awkward state of, "does he like me?" out of the way. I know online dating ins't for all and it can be VERY dangerous, if not handled cautiously, but I am so glad that I tried it. I was at my heaviest, to that date, when I joined. The down side is that I got a husband that is SO acceptable of my weight that I have gained without remorse or fear of losing him. That is why I want to remedy this. I want my children to feel proud of their mother, when their friends meet me. I want to be able to keep up with their athletic activities. I want my husband to be a tiny bit jealous once in a while, (as horrible as that sounds). Being a work-at-home Mom and being 15 feet from the kitchen 24-7 has not been a good option for me but I have done it, for a long time now. I am ready to be done with that, though, and either shift into a new space or shift my time somehow. I have to be away from food, even if I get the band, the temptation is too great. Business is good but I just don't know if it's good *enough* to warrant renting a space or building an addition or shed etc.. Thanks again for the discussion and ideas! Shannon

I, personally, feel like counseling can only do good, (if it's a good counselor). So, if you're questioning needing counseling, seeing one is probably a good thing... even if they are just a sounding board to your own fears. Sometimes just getting things off of your chest helps. I have a friend that was not ready to be happy. She had been very heavy since the age of 11 and finally got a gastric bypass. She had been in counseling for years but never shifted, she was always doom and gloom and verging on hypochondria. She dropped weight, after the bypass, in no time but is now an alcoholic. The moral of this story is that everyone deserves to be happy and, if you're not, counseling will help *if* you're receptive to it and READY to heal. She still isn't ready, and maybe never will be, but I hope she will at some point. (I always recommend the "Dance of Intimacy" to anyone that is feeling badly, especially if family, or relationship, issues are part of the problem. It's by Harriet Goldher Lerner, I believe, and it is AWESOME!) I hope you also will feel like you deserve to be happy and healthy and that you can work through this and be pleased with yourself. For starters, maybe focus on the fact that you have lost weight and kept it off, that's awesome! :thumbup: If you focus on what you HAVE done and what you CAN be proud of things will shift and pessimism will slowly be blocked by positive reinforcement. Focusing on how poorly you have done and what you still haven't accomplished, though, is definitely a self defeating cycle. I hope this helps and isn't "preachy". I come from a family of counselors so this type of discussion is a norm at family gathering. :wink: My husband was floored when he moved up and saw what dinner was like at our house! LOL Keep up the great work, of sustaining your weight, even if the positive thinking and counseling just help you become less stressed that should help you break the barrier. Best of luck with this wonderful tool and being happy, I am sure you can do it. Shannon

Hi all! I have been talking to my husband about him getting the band at the same time as me, so we begin this journey together and can keep up with one another. He is receptive but fears not being able to "stick" to the food plan once the procedure is done. He is 6' 5" and eats very quickly and in decent/large quantity. He is heavy but has a fast metabolism. My husband is not a sweet tooth kind of guy. He likes the occasional treat but if given a choice between pitas with hummus and ice cream, he'd probably choose the pitas. He *does* love soda, and regular soda, not diet. I had gotten him to quit a while back but he fell off the wagon. I am slowly trying to gently nudge him back on. He also LOVES meat! Especially steak and red meat, though he likes almost any meat on the planet. LOL He doesn't tend to snack a lot during the day, (except on weekends occasionally). So, the recap, he LOVES: meat, regular soda, salty snacks and, occasionally, sweets like ice cream etc.. He CAN CONTROL easily his consumption of: most sweets, (candy, cake, pie, chocolates etc.), starches etc.. He likes rice and potatoes etc. but also enjoys salads and high protein items. So, any words of wisdom from folks that have a similar pattern? He has *never* dieted, per se, just increased his activity levels. He has lowered his salt intake and has gone lower caffeine and diet soda for a long stint, however, which is a big thing for him. I am sure, given his metabolism that, even if all that he gets out of the band is a slightly smaller stomach, he will still lose a substantial amount of weight and that may become addictive, this making him want to stick to the program even more... in theory. So, I hope that some of you have had similar loves and cravings and can set his mind at ease. Thanks, in advance! Shannon

Thanks so much everyone, that really helps. I'll send him your thoughts and see what he thinks. I was hoping that he'd join the forum but he is taking baby steps. Maybe in a few weeks, one never knows. LOL Thanks again! Shannon

Hi all! I have been talking to my husband about him getting the band at the same time as me, so we begin this journey together and can keep up with one another. He is receptive but fears not being able to "stick" to the food plan once the procedure is done. He is 6' 5" and eats very quickly and in decent/large quantity. He is heavy but has a fast metabolism. My husband is not a sweet tooth kind of guy. He likes the occasional treat but if given a choice between pitas with hummus and ice cream, he'd probably choose the pitas. He *does* love soda, and regular soda, not diet. I had gotten him to quit a while back but he fell off the wagon. I am slowly trying to gently nudge him back on. He also LOVES meat! Especially steak and red meat, though he likes almost any meat on the planet. LOL He doesn't tend to snack a lot during the day, (except on weekends occasionally). So, the recap, he LOVES: meat, regular soda, salty snacks and, occasionally, sweets like ice cream etc.. He CAN CONTROL easily his consumption of: most sweets, (candy, cake, pie, chocolates etc.), starches etc.. He likes rice and potatoes etc. but also enjoys salads and high protein items. So, any words of wisdom from folks that have a similar pattern? He has *never* dieted, per se, just increased his activity levels. He has lowered his salt intake and has gone lower caffeine and diet soda for a long stint, however, which is a big thing for him. I am sure, given his metabolism that, even if all that he gets out of the band is a slightly smaller stomach, he will still lose a substantial amount of weight and that may become addictive, this making him want to stick to the program even more... in theory. So, I hope that some of you have had similar loves and cravings and can set his mind at ease. Thanks, in advance! Shannon

Hi all! I have been considering getting a lap band for a while now. I couldn't before because of my insurance but it looks like my husband's new insurance *might* actually cover it... knock on wood. I went to a meeting a while back and the doctors were saying that, in order to succeed with a lap band, one must have a lot of self control and, if not, one should opt for the bypass instead. Personally, I could probably keep myself in check if I was single but I have 2 children and a husband that ALWAYS attempts to sabotage my weight loss attempts. I don't think it's conscious but he is not willing to get the lap band with me and I fear that if I get it he will only encourage me to push it to it's limits. I don't like the idea of rearranging my organs, (at all), but I don't want to get a lap band and then not be able to keep myself in check, with him taunting me along the way. Has anyone had a similar situation and, if so, what came of it and your weight loss decision? Please, no "no one can sabotage you, you can only sabotage yourself" kind of comments. I have heard them all and have learned one thing over the years: if it's in front of me, I will probably eat it, (and like it). Thank you, in advance, for your experience! Shannon