vessa

I got pregnant right after I had my band put in, and I developed hypertension/borderline preeclampsia in my 8th month. Now, I had 1 fill, but never any restriction, including when I was swollen like someone stuck a hose in my mouth and forgot to turn it off! I gained 10 pounds in the first 8 months and 30 the last month! Within 6 weeks I had lost all Water weight and the 10 pounds too. I had restriction for the first time 6 weeks after baby, when I had my second fill.

I finally did, although it took me forever an I still have some size 3x pregnancy pants. Perhaps it is because they cost a lot and I am poor, or that i can't really afford more clothes right now. But I think it is because it took me SO LONG to find clothes that I thought looked decent on me when I was over 300, that a part of me is terrified to go through that again, even though i know I won't.

That's incrediable! I didn't sleep for two weeks waiting for my approval, and i know there are others that have waited far longer. I had to go through 8 months of medical crap and a psychotherapist even before they would submit a letter to insurance. If you go for it, lucky lucky you.

My license says 180, but when I got it I weighed over 100 more than that. I was in a accident and had a cop come and take a report from me, he looked at my license, and wrote my weight down. When I had a chance to look at it later, I was all pissed because he wrote 250, even though I weighed at least 50 pounds more. Haha it makes me laugh now.

I think it is so neat,what you are doing, I dream of becoming an LPN, possibly RN for a nursing home some day (I love the elderly). I have a record with marijuana convictions on it, plus I am hopelessly in debt and have a horrible work history. It's not always age that makes someone scared to live their dreams. I hope some day I have the guts to overcome my past and do what you have done.

I lost 110 pounds in a year, only to gain back 183 pounds two years later... I held my grandma's hand while she died... I once figured out the universe with my friend while on acid only to forget everything the next morning... I saved my husband's life... Meadowlark Lemon sang the words of the Globetrotter song to me in a church...

geez, are you getting sick of me yet? haha, i rerea you post again, and seen about the head hunger. You know, i tell myself, "there are only 24 hours in a day, if I can make it through this one day, it will be tomorrow, and I will be stronger then." It works sometimes. Not to get into too much detail, but there was a time in my life, years ago when I spent a year in rehab (yeah, guess what, eating wasn't my only addiction). It was more a jail than anything. I di that there, I cried myself to sleep (behind bars) i wasn't able to watch tv or read newspapers (this happened during 9/11) and worst, I wasn't able to see my family (I wasn't married, but i was young, an I missed my mom terribly) an I did that for a whole year! Everyday I woke up an did what I was told to do all day long, couln't pick my own clothes or make my own food or set my own schedule. I'm not saying I shouldn't have been there, I paid the dues for my transgression, but it was hell everyday, so much harder than what i deal with now. And I have an ol budy serving 10 years in prison for vehicular homicide while drinking, I think of him everyday. So when I am having one of thse starving days, when even when I am completely full, i am ravenous, I think back to then. The hunger passes, an you learn how to live differently, and on the "rainy days", remember, you can make it through, an be stronger tomorrow.

p.s. my "D" button on my computer rarely works and it drives me crazy!!!

Hey, AZQueen, i totally 100% agree with you about "how many times can you say..." I think when I am with family that I am being stared at (being the biggest person there, eating the smallest amount) but then again, I always thought I was being stared at when I was eating normal too. My relationship with my body in relation to food has always been an abusive one, an no matter how much pyschotherapy you go through before banding, the real challenge is after, but if you can be real with yourself, you can do it. If you're going in to get one soon, congradulations! It is so exciting,and the pain, blah, it hurt me worse to get a tooth pulled, but that's me. My number 1 suggestion will be that if you are one of the lucky ones, you will have restriction immediatly, if you are like me (and 80% of the other people here), you will be totally freaked out that you have the same hunger, until you get your fill, which makes the ban work, kinda like gas in a car. (the car is the important expensive part, but without the gas, it on't work, right?) Anyways it happens, and when it does YOU KNOW you have restriction, but everyone is different, so take that with a grain of salt. Ok, for all my rambling, this is what i really wanted to say, haha. The realness of it, is that eventually I will weigh alot less, and people will want to know, and probably already suspect, so what will I do? I do not know, I would have liked to tell them, but I'm sure you have met, as I have met, that 120 pound exercise fanatic that loudly proclaims in front of everyone, "OH THATS NOT HEALTHY AND IF YOU JUST TRIED HARDER AND BLAH BLAH BLAH" ANd the worst, "A QUICK FIX" i hate that! It is so NOT quick and it is so not easy or a fix! It is so hard! I exercise like crazy, I lead a normal life like anyone else. I needed help to overcome hunger an obeslty physically, but I still overcome it mentally everyday. It is ALOT easier to be fat! That brings me to Star Jones, at first I wanted to hate on her for denying her surgery, but then I looked at her and seen myself...that's really all I have to say, we each make the choice to tell or not to tell and we each live with the consequences. And losing the weight I have so far hasn't made my life any easier, I just feel like I am not dying anymore, but living. Good luck and go easy on yourself after surgery, you have (like all of us)been through alot and have a lot of craziness ahea of you. (but it's all worth it)hee hee

It would be the fact that I can no longer celebrate with food. No going out to dinner (who wants a whole plate of food for $10 and eat 3 bites?), no having a cookout with family without ducking out to eat small amout or getting the funny looks about eating only liquids or mushies (my choice not to tell the inlaws, still awkward situations at parties). On the weekend, no cutting loose with the husband to eat a grilled steak (oh, my favorite!) No quick bites after my daughter FINALLY falls asleep! Anyways, I have spent my entire life rewarding and punishing myself with food, for every occasion, good or bad, it was food, and that is why I was in the predicament I was and choose the band. I was drowning out all the great happenings of life with food and I needed a reality check. Yeah, I miss eating "normal" (if that's what you want to call it) an it can and has cause a few awkward situations, and or questions. BUT one day when I was really complaining to my husband about never getting to eat what I want anymore (oh, poor me, I ate a lifetime of food in 25 years) some small brave part of my brain jumped in and said, "hey what if insurance hadn't approved and your broke ass never would have gotten the surgery???!" And I realized I would have been devestated, and that my ban is doing exactly what it should and what I want it to do, it is helping me get my life back, before food became the center of it. It is a hell of a symptom, like getting over an addiction, a part of me has died and I miss it, it is a loss that I am learning to live with out my crutch, and learning how to deal WITH emotion, rather than stuff it. Evertime now that I want to curse my band, I remember being that crazed girl, eating my husband's entire birthday cake, or an entire box of cereal in 1/2 hour, etc., And I appreciate how lucky I am to have this chance.

<p>hey, I know what that is like, I was so confused until I finally had restriction, I was sure I i something wrong! And when I went to nutritionist a month after surgery an told her I had no restriction, she basically told me I was a liar (!) an didn't deserve band! (She was used to doing gastric bypass people, but screw her anyways!) It woul have been nice if the octor had even casually mentione that restriction might not come until after a fill or two. And I always feel bad when I see a posting from someone that is like, "what does restriction feel like? I feel like a loser, I can eat whatever i want, blah blah blah..." and I came to the conclusion that once you have restriction, you no longer wonder what it is, it is quite obvious, haha. Oh, and after my pregnancy, I went in for my first floro fill (my doc always does floro) and my port was flipped, and they couln't fill and had to do revision, well, I still got a bill for $370 !!! They bent 3 needles before they realized it was flipped, so for that hour of misery I paid them!!! But hey, I got great restriction now, so i'm not complaining (or, oh yes, I am!) and my weight is steadily dropping, but if I could redo anything, I would have chosen a team of doctors who specified in lap band, not bypass and lap band, as they assume they are the same often, and when I disagree with what they are saying about my body I get that, "oh yeah, who went to medical school for years and years?...look" If you know what I mean...</p>

thanks hamster, how totally helpful of you! I appreciate the input, an have my husband on it right now!

I wake up, "Oh! its an awesome beautiful day! I have a great band and i'm losing weight and I'm exercising and in love with the world." Eat great all day, take care of new baby...husband works third, leaves at 9:30, baby is asleep for the night by 10. I think, "Now I can relax, piss around on the internet, wind down." And then I fall into this thing where at least 3 days out of the week I will go binging. And of course, it leads to nothing but puking and feeling like crap and finally falling asleep disappointed in myself...etc. It seems so simple, I know I shouldn't, I know I'm tired after being up with the baby all day, I know i'm bored and probably should go to sleep, an I know this behavior is wrong and could lead to trouble if not rectified. BUT KNOWING ISN'T DOING! So, if anyone has some tips on what they do to wind down, rather than falling into old habits late at night, please share.:ranger:

Thanks everyone for all the great help, good ideas, and thoughts to chew as well. :hungry: The plus side, in its weird way, is hearing that other people had to deal with :heh:FAMILY:paranoid too. And all that craziness. I think sometimes that I wish when I was a kid, mine wouldn't have been so concerned about my weight, perhaps things would have been different...but, I've also come to terms with all that, I know I could sit back and blame them, but I'd NEVER get well, besides others have suffered far worse injustices than I. And as kooky as my family is and was, I know they have always loved me, even if they were a bit misguided. I pray every night I can do my daughter better. Oh, and as far as cake was, before the band, I had to stop making desserts, even my husband's birthday cake, because he'd have a piece or two, and I'd eat the rest! Thanks again.

Wow! i never thought of it that way, but you hit the nail on the head! Thanks for the "diagnosis"! I never had that insight from my psych, probably because he's never been there. It can definitely help me to realize why and work from there instead of getting down about it. As far as the sneaking and whatnot, true, true, I used to keep frosting and a bowl of sugar mixed with lemonade in my top dresser drawer when I was a kid, right next to my diet pills! My dad (bless his heart) had his own weight issues and trying to "help" had me run for miles when I was 10, and promised me $250 if I lost 50 pounds before I went back to school. (in 3 months? i was a kid!) Anyways, I have always hated eating in front of others and only within the past 2 years have been ok with it in front of my husband. He is SO supportive with the band, but I know it deeply concerns him (as it should)when I throw up because I eat too much and am in terrible pain. You have helped me open a door and given me alot to think about! Thanks for all your help, and for sharing, the injustices alot of us have faced as kids can either help or hinder us (if we let them).

Hey, when i fell on this thread, i was really interested in your posts, and was bummed to see you not post for a while, and then, there is was, today! Im so happy for you, you are having great success, I know I was majorly frustrated when I first got surgery, and for a month starved and regretted because I had no restriction...then i got pregnant! Talk about bumps in the road! I stayed the same weight thru the whole pregnancy, and gained about 10 pounds at the end, then 2 weeks after Nadia was born, I was down to the weight I was when I went in for surgery!...10 months later! Haha, now I can laugh because I got my fill, got great restriction, and have been steadily losing. I refused to exercise for a while, but then found it dramatically increased my weight loss, and helps me de-stress and deal with the day. I walk anywhere from a 1/2 hour to 2 hours a day, in my house with the baby in her stroller, its lame but it works for me, an I don't think of it as exercise (otherwise I wouln't do it!) I just think of it as fun for me and her. I would miss it if I din't o it because its not so much for the weight loss, as it helps my huge mood swings and stress from losing weight so quickly and having a new baby. Anyways, great to see your new post, and how is your restriction?

ok, so maybe I'm not going to be very helpful because I am relatively new in this as I have had my band for a year, but only started getting restriction 2 months ago. BUT, I will tell you my experience with this same thing. When I first got my restriction, I was eating liquids and DIP an cream of this and that soup and anything solid I could ground up into mush to eat. Well, obviously, I was eating a lot of calories because you can ground up just about anything, and stuff like dip and ice cream is not what we are suppose to eat. I refuse to eat anything solid too, because of the uncomfortable lump in my throat when i'd eat even 1/2 cup of food. Well, after talking to my octor and researching on here, I have come to the conclusion that my "lump" was my full feeling. And that I was eating WAY too much mush, an when I started eating solids, I could only eat a little tiny bit (like I'm suppose to, duh), see, when I was mushing it all up, I could eat just as much as i did before band, maybe more. Mentally, it was a lot harer for me to eat 1/4 to 1/2 cup of food a couple times a day then a big bowl of mush-whatever-it-was. BUT, I have dramatically cut back on the amount of food I was eating and have started losing weight again. I still get frustrated with being starving, eating little, and my "lump" of fullness but I'm getting used to it, and eating no longer is ruling my life. It is hard, it was a strong addiction for me, and I have sadness because I feel like a part of me has died (i've had other addictions , so I know the feeling well) Anyways, my point is, when I started doing the band "right" by eating solid things like fish and eggs, and waiting an hour then drinking water (so as not to rush food quickly thru the band) believe it or not, it started working! I do not severly salivate, I'm slimey when I eat more than 1/2 cup, so I am not trying to give you direction, I just wanted to share, because I wasn't having much success either, and then I did what I was suppose to and it worked. Good luck, I hope I have helped.

I hate any exercise other than walking, like I have to force myself, and then I usually quit shortly afterward. I was attempting a curves-like place for a while, but after I had my baby, and with my husband working 3rd shift, there was just no time to go (excuses excuses, right?) Anyways, it may sound silly, but I live in a small apartment, just big enough to put my 2 month old in a small stroller, and I push her from my living room down the hallway in the bedroom and back out. I started at a half hour, and sometimes work my way up to 2 hours. I may look silly, but why it works for me (an exercise-hater) is that, for me, mentally, i don't look at it as exercise. It is something fun to do with my daughter an she loves it, an now it is a part of our every day, an i look forward to it, hate to miss it. Crazy huh? It is what works for me. I cannot wait until the temp goes down a bit, and I can bring her outside and do our walk. Perhaps for some of us, exercise is a dirty word, an doing something else actively is the key. I know when I am outside with my daughter, my biggest fear is some jerk is going to look at me funny or say something because of me exercising "in public" (like its a bad thing, but I know alot of people are scared of this besides me). So to relax about this I just think, "I'm not doing it for me, a-hole, I'm doing it for her," (the walking, but also the weight loss). For me it is what works. She's my "reason" and since it works, I'm not going to second guess it.

So, I eat about 1/2 cup or so of food 5 to 6 times a day. Perhaps it is silly, but seeing that small measly amount on a big ol' plate looks pitiful! I have started using my baby's bowls and spoons, is that seem perculiar? It's not that I am not thankful for the fullness I have from the small amount of food, I would just like to enjoy what I do get to eat - mentally I guess. How do other people make their little tiny portions "look" satisfying?

I desperately love Aerosmith too. I was 15 and my mom and dad got me the greatest hits cd to go with my new cd player (was a big deal 10 years ago). Steven Tyler spoke to me and I've been in this love affair ever since, can I say it was one particular song? I doubt it, as soon as I type one in, I will think of another. I have lost boyfriends because they couldn't handle my devotion for Aerosmith (it's a five-guy band, intimidating for a lesser man, i suppose). Anyways, my now-husband was a then-supporter of my infatuation. Since I have been married, my love for Aerosmith has evolved enough to allow other bands and men in, Johnny Cash, anyone? But it took a good manly husband's "whatever floats your boat" attitude. I love Eric with all my heart now, but Steven will always be my first crush.

"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them. " Henry David Thoreau

I got pregnant 2 weeks after i got my band! I lost about 5 pounds! I was bummed but really happy, it was hard because it was my first (and only baby) that my husband and I wanted so bad, but I just got banded. My surgeons nurse wanted to take out my meager fill, but since i really had no restriction, i refused, and I never had a problem with it. My suggestion is get a really great obstetrition with experience with "high risk", she thought nothing bad of my band, and even suggested it would help me control the inevitable weight gain of pregnancy, she also said i was lucky to have the band, as though it was adjustable. She was a gorgeous little 100 pound thing, but she never judged me, and did a great great job. I only gained 10 pounds in the first 8 months, and 30 the last (i got gestational hypertension, it was all water weight). Nadia came by c-section (little breech brat) an was absolutely perfect. Doctor even took extra care not to disturb my port. My altime high was 324 a day after she was born (swelled up even worse because of c-section) but by my 6 week check up, I was down to 280 with relatively little effort (recovering and all, you know) and now 2 months out, and a good fill, I have lost another 15 pounds. The band was GREAT with my pregnancy, but having an understanding support team with my care was what made it that way. I hope you all the luck, and I strongly suggest you get a good baby doctor, as to be honest, my doc never thought of the band as an inconvienience, but rather, a helpful tool. Good luck.

<p> </p> <p> </p> <p>"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them." </p> <p>Henry David Thoreau -(this is a favorite of mine)</p> <p> </p> <p>p.s. i wish someone had told me that there was the chance that i would not have had restriction until i got my first fill. When I came out of surgery and was ravenous a week later, I so thought i had failed and made a big mistake. Now I have had two fills, and I finally get what the restriction is that everyone else is talking about. Just don't give up, and don't worry about expecting too much from the band, i would rather expect to much and fail then expect too little and win.</p>