BeachBish

I’ve been wanting to do a blog entry, but then the website went all wonky. I’m going to try this today, and decide if I want to continue blogging or not. So far I’m not a real huge fan of the new site. I chose VST over the “other” WLS websites because it was specifically for VSG people; now bariatricpal mixes us all together again. Yes there is a certain amount of segregation, but now I find it difficult to navigate. I don’t really like the name even! I know people do not like change & I am one of them. I find myself less involved in the message boards because of the change. I am grateful that the change to the site took place when I was 5+ months out. I can’t imagine having gotten to where I am without the old board. Perhaps I’m ready to fly on my own now anyway.
 
I am down 85 lbs since the start of 2 week preop diet, and down 75 since surgery. I am wearing clothes from the back of my closet, and people are finally really starting to notice I’ve changed. Amazing to me that it’s taken this long for them to see! BUT in a way, I would rather not draw attention to myself in this way. I am ready to be at goal weight and having people just know me as a girl of a healthy weight so that they don’t feel the need to compliment me on my loss.
 
Some days are easier than others with the weight loss. I KNOW at this point that I could eat whatever I want. I have been very diligent thus far, and I am averaging a loss per week of 1.24%. I am occasionally tempted by the wrong stuff (i.e. “treats”) but I haven’t given in, and it is SO much easier since surgery to stick to a healthy plan I’ve devised for myself. I contribute this largely to having gone through detox in the time immediately after surgery. I’ve never been able to eat this clean for this long, and it feels good! I don’t look at it like a diet – that’s so cliché, but I have always WANTED to have a healthy lifestyle I just never had the control before. Now I know I have the control if I work it right.
 
If I am hungry, I just have to make sure I eat dense protein first so that I can feel restriction. If I do not do that always, I will have a hard time getting to goal. I can’t say that I track my food anymore regularly, and I don’t count calories, etc. I stay away from bread, rice, pasta, except for one or two days per week. I have for the most part foregone sugar and processed food. I don’t stress over things being low fat. My breakfasts are coffee and protein drinks, then I have a green shake (spinach, fruit, protein, avocado, almonds) mid morning, then some lean protein for lunch, then a chike protein drink mid afternoon, and a “lean & green” dinner – but it’s mostly lean protein and just a spot of green vegetable. I feel my green drinks keep my veggie intake up. Routine is key for me. I take my vitamins daily, and drink as much water as I can. I enjoy sugarfree popsicles in the evenings. More than one. Sometimes I wonder if that’s a problem. They are essentially frozen crystal light, but am I playing into old behaviors by going back for several per evening? Yes I am still seeing weight loss but I want to change 40 years of bad habits, so I wonder about eating several of ANYTHING. I will ask my NUT tomorrow when I talk to her.
 
I had bloodwork done and saw my endocrinologist yesterday. He said my iron is slightly high and my blood pressure is slightly low. The episodes of feeling worn out can be blamed on the low blood pressure. Even when I was 85 lbs heavier my blood pressure was on the low side, so you can imagine how it is now. I’m a bit of an anomaly in that way. So I get to indulge my salt cravings, and I need to make sure I stay hydrated even that much more!
 
I fully intend to get to goal. I have yo-yo’d in the obese range for several years now. I’m now beginning to enter territory weight-wise where I haven’t been in 10 years, so I am really beginning to feel different. It’s fun and exciting and a bit scary. But I want to do it anyway – I want to lose about 59 more lbs.! And, 2 lbs from now and I will be merely overweight and no longer obese. That’s cool!
 
I never lost hair, and I figure I’m in the clear. I’ll say it again: I never had hair loss! I will be at the 6 month mark in a week, so I pretty much figure I’m in the clear!! Yay! I had accepted that as a side effect long ago, but lo and behold it didn’t happen to me. I am thankful, but I would have dealt with it. I just didn’t want to cut my hair, because I’ve been growing it out for years. I got my claories up to 900 to 1000 fairly early after starting real foods, and I think this helped me hang on to my hair. I have half a small avocado in my green shake every day, as well as almonds. These things are high calorie but are “good fat”. And good fat is good for the hair and skin. So far excess skin isn’t horrible, but I know I won’t know until I get there how much of an issue it will be. I won’t get plastics though – it just looks too painful! And I hope that after years at a healthy goal weight perhaps the skin will go back to a reasonable shape.
 
All in all I am very happy with how this is turning out! I knew immediately after surgery that I just needed to get on with living a new lifestyle and that as time passed I would see results. And I am!
Onward!

Can you hear your band?
 
My band I think is bipolar. One day he yells at me, the next quite as a mouse, then the next firm but forgiving. Ok- what does this mean. One day I get stuck no matter how well I chew, the next day I can eat anything I want with no issue whatsoever, then the next after two meatball George's stop, now that is enough. What is up with that, why can't he be consistant???
 
For many of you, as it is for me over eating was the biggest cause of my weight- rather than just what I ate. I mean I love veggies, but even to much of a good thing can be bad. My portions is what I must watch and control. I know everyone says because you can eat more doesn't mean you should- this is exactly right, but when it taste so heavenly you want just one more bite. Some day George D. Band allows one more bite, some days he slaps me up side the head and says nope, I am going to make you pay for that. Then on occassion is clamly say, slow it down girlfriend it's time to stop. I enjoy the calm days, we get along really well those days.
 
For instance today- breakfast: Light & Fit Greek Yogurt 2X protien with two tablespoons of granola on top- snack 5 snowpeas with ranch dip (greek yogurt dip)- lunch 2 meat balls a little larger than a quarter. Each meal George said stop and I did. Days like today, he makes it easy, but there are others where I wonder what sector of hell he came from.
 
At 13 months out I have only lost 60 lbs . There are so many out there doing so much better than me, and I lament. I have 45 lbs more I want to lose. I know, I eat what I want, I don't feel I sacrifice, should I sacrifice. What more do I need to do? Gotta do something?

The one thing I can say that is different about my food thinking is- I am a great deal more concious of what I eat and drink. Before I take something in, I often times will ask is it worth the calorie cost. The answer on many things is NOPE. This morning I was craving an Iced Mocha Latte from McDonalds- well the calorie cost isn't that high for the one I order (around 250), but to me it still was not worth it.
 
There was a day a day when if it tasted good I ate it, heck sometimes if it didn't taste good I'd eat it anyway. How sad is that? Now if I eat one bite and it's not appealing I am done- why waste the calories on something that isn't good. I would eat at meals like I'd never eat again, with the thought that the next meal I'd take it easy on- did I- no. Sometimes even now I find those old thoughts creaping up in my brain and I have to shake it off.
 
Now I am in a quest to find food that taste amazing and cost less in the calorie department. This isn't always easy to do. Last night I fixed homemade Chicken Alfredo with brocollini. For the pasta- spagetti squah, which is amazing, if you like paste I challenge you to try this- it is so easy to cook in the microwave. I made my own alfredo sauce that had no butter and was made with 2% milk rather than heavy cream. The chicken was boneless skinless chicken breast cut into bite size peices. Tossed a little brocolini florets in for color and add texture. It was awesome- so didn't feel like I was giving up anything. Just savored each bite.
 
I believe that if we were as concious with our calorie cost as we are with money cost there would be a lot less fat folk- I know I would be. So I try each day to look at my calorie count that way- is it worth the cost or not. Is it worth that extra pound I will see on the scale. You know what, there are times when it is worth it- but most of the time it isn't. If we live in this mind set it makes letting go of those calorie bombs not so difficult. For me sometimes, it makes thing taste less awesome, if I know it is loaded.
 
So, a challenge to us all- equate calories to dollars- is a milkshake worth $1000- NOPE

I was reading the forum today and read a reply to a post about snacking that said “It’s okay to be hungry.”
 
This got me thinking (I know scary, huh?!)
 
Do I really know what true physical hunger feels like? Hunger where you don’t know if or when you will eat again….. Pain and discomfort from malnutrition and dehydration.
 
I have never experienced true physical hunger.
 
But, I’m the first to say I am sooooo hungry. Why? Was it the way I was raised? Society? Or what?
 
Before my band food was everything. I would plan every meal to the tee and as soon as the meal was over I was talking/planning the next meal. Breakfast at 8am, lunch at noon, afternoon snacks/cocktails at 5pm and dinner at 7pm. My belly alarm would go off at each time and I would say I’m hungry. I was obsessed with my meals and eating. Food had all the control.
 
Fast forward 18 months and I have the control back (for the most part). Yes I still eat on the same schedule. This is a personality flaw for me, very organized and schedule oriented. It drives some people crazy. The difference is that I know this is a trigger for my head hunger and I don’t let that “I’m hungry” feeling take over. I know when I’m going to eat, I know how much I’m going to eat and I know what types of foods I’m going to eat.
 
So, yes it’s okay to be hungry. But, my head hunger will not control me, I will control it!

just hopped on this website a few days ago, didn't realize that it existed ! i'm looking to hear other people's stories about life after band my name is annemarie. i am 7 months and 9 days post op today i was banded on 1/10/11. since then, i have lost around 97 pounds. hoping to hit the big 100 soon ! i am finally NOT considered obese which is amazing ! i would just like to meet some new people on here and hear their stories and see their pictures to gain some inspiration/motivation. these last 30 pounds are killing me ! school is about to start on 8/29 and i am not looking forward to it /: i am also interested in talking to younger members with the band (since i am young myself, 20 years old), i would love to hear what their journey has been like hope everybody has been having a great day !

Tomorrow I get to add Chicken, turkey, pasta, bread, rice, nuts, raw fruits and veggies. I feel like things are going back to normal but I am scared. So what happen to my momentum? It still here but my fear has taken over for a bit. So why am I afraid now? I know I was going great and follow my post op diet to a T but now I want to stay in the post op diet zone? Is this my new default? My old default was me drinking a bottles of wine and eating at Jack in the box. But now I just want to eat mashed potatoes and sea food forever. What happens if I can’t handle chicken or turkey? My biggest fear is me getting stuck or throwing up. I hate being sick because it sucks. I especially hate getting sick when it’s my fault. Its like waking up with a hangover so you avoid getting wasted like that again. I know I can do this but my plan is to add new foods in slowly. Trust me I am not planning on over doing it but I will educate myself.
Thanks for reading.