Shmoopy

I'm hoping someone else out there understands how I feel. Since my banding, I went from a size 18 to a size 10 (still have flab up top so maybe went from XLtop to L). Anyway...I'm feeling very good about being a size 10 jeans. I mean, I dont remember the last time I was a 10...I'm not kidding. I remember ten years ago when my sister got married I was a 14. So anyway, I've always had issues with self esteem. And I've been feeling good recently...taking care of myself and my looks. But still cannot get guys interested in me. And then I started thinking...ok so I might feel skinnier but in reality, I'm still "fat" by society's standards. You know? And I know, I shouldn't care about society, but it is weird, losing 70lbs and still being "fat." I dont think I'll ever be "thin", I'm just not built that way. But I wish I could feel better about myself. Anyone else?

I'm also a refried beans eater. I'll have a 1/2 cup with low fat shredded cheese and some fat free sour cream. Love 'em. So happy I can have them. The funniest thing, I looked at the nutrition value of the Fat Free and the Regular and honestly, there isn't TOO much of a difference. So I don't sweat it if the store doesn't have the Fat Free. The regular can is okay too.

Oh yeah, I know my self esteem is an issue. I kinda didn't want to make it one in my post, so I apologize for that. I just wanted to shed light on the ridiculousness we women have to deal with when it comes to body image etc. Overall, I think I look and feel great. I never thought I would be a size 10 again. My observation was, isn't it weird that I lost all that weight and yet I'm still "fat". So ironic. I know not all men are obsessed with weight etc when it comes to their women. I know I'll meet my Mr. Right (after dealing with a few Mr. Wrongs). I'm super frustrated with my spare tire that has gotten smaller but is still there. I'm so tired of the muffin top. haha.

I still think about food all the time too. I'm always "head hungry" but I try very hard to listen to my body and eat appropriate foods when I really am hungry. I miss Coke the most (the soda!). Also, someone else mentioned this...but I also have more facial hair than before the surgery. Luckily I'm light haired and light skinned to the hair is blonde...but I feel like it's a fuzzy forrest on my face. And my stomach area. Oh well. I doubt I'll lose 120 pounds by my one year anniversary (I'm at 7 months) BUt I congratulate you. and wish you the very best. We all lose at different levels and speeds. I'm just so happy that I got the surgery and that I've been this successful so far

Hey Tamra! What you are feeling is absolutely normal. I was totally freaked out the day of my surgery. (And the day before etc). And while there are some folks who maybe had a bad experience, I can tell you that there are THOUSANDS of people on this message board that had a successful, run of the mill procedure (I was barely in the OR for 35 minutes) and then went on to have a wonderful life with the band inside of us. Granted there may be bumps along the way, but we'll deal with those when we come with them. The matter at hand is your surgery date, and it's totally fine to be scared. But don't let it consume you, you know? Be brave. We've all done it (and here I am speaking for all of y'all) and probably would do it again in a heart beat. As for the folks who say you dont need to do this...Its hard to lose weight and keep it off. The band is a tool to help you take it off and KEEP IT OFF. For me, I'm amazed at how I'm not hungry after eating a small amount of food. But I gotta tell ya, it's really important to know when you (and your tummy) are really hungry, and when your head is hungry. Head hunger is the hardest thing for me to overcome (well that and giving up Coca-Cola. :mad: ) So if you can read the signs your body is giving you, you'll be all set. Eat for health and to keep your body moving. Not because a cheeseburger would taste good right about now. But I'm getting ahead of myself! You'll be fine. Please come back on and let us know how it went!! Congrats on starting this new journey!!

I need to get down there. I have a lot of 16 and 18 size pants/jeans I would like to try and sell instead of giving to Goodwill. I wish we could all get together and do a swap or something!!

Agreed! Boy did I think I was going to have to give up everything! And honestly...nope. I can still eat a wide variety of things...but in smaller portions. But bagels...I can tell you that we aren't friends!! haha. There are things you won't be able to eat because it'll get stuck and hurt. i.e. bagels. Also, I was told by my surgeon, very clearly, that I should expect to lose 40% of my excess weight (I've lost more than that). and she even told me that some people don't lose anything at all. I knew all the pros and cons before going in. My recovery after the surgery was painful. But its different for everyone. I guess I wish that someone told me how normal I would be after getting the surgery. It's less about being on a diet. And more about eating healthy and living with my band. I'm at 7cc's right now (Realize band) and I think my restriction is good. My weight loss has slowed, but its' still coming off. I can't go run and get another fill just because my weight loss has slowed. A lot of this is about perserverance and will power. Remember that. It's just a tool. It's not a magic wand!!

Sweetie, I'm going to say something that might sting, and I'm not saying this to be mean...but something is not adding up. And that usually means that's becuse something is missing. And that could be another woman? If he wont even TRY at counseling...c'mon!! I 100% understand that he is your world. I get it. I do!!! And this is what's going to make a separation/divorce even harder. You need to tell your family and friends. You need support. Do you see how he's worrying about himself, and doing what he wants to do? This is the first sign that he's not interested in helping you. So guess what? You have to help you!!! I know you want him to come home one days and say "hey you know what, I do love you, lets stay married." And could that happen? Sure. Anything can happen. But there's a very good chance that is not going to happen. So you need to be strong!!!!!!!!!! Do not beg him (I tried that. Didnt work). You are so young. You WILL get over him. I know that doesn't seem remotely plausible right now. But you will. The sooner you start, the sooner you'll stop crying and move on. It could take a while, I'm not going to lie. But it will happen. Focus on you!!

I was married only 8 months before I found out my husband was having an affair with his boss. Then I found out she was pregnant. And then I found out they were going to Disneyworld during the week of what would've been our first anniversary (and oh, btw, we went to Disneyworld on our honeymoon). I know EXACTLY what you are going through. And I have to be honest...it was not easy. And it was scary. I would suggest seeing a therapist immediately. Maybe go on some sort of anti-anxiety medication. I got really really really depressed. And every day it was a struggle to get out of bed. Set very tiny small goals for yourself, whether it is for losing weight or just simply going to work all day, and reward yourself. NOW is the time for you to care about you! I'm really really sorry. Even though it's been years for me, it's still hard. I never had an anniversary. And I too married my husband thinking I would be with him forever and I loved him so much. But he was not worth it. And over time you'll work through this. But please get help. Don't get so overwhelmed that you crack under the pressure. Please feel free to email me at shmoopy32@yahoo.com if you want to talk about it. I absolutely know how you feel. Its really corny and cliche but it's a marathon, not a race. And you just have to put one foot in front of the other, and EVENTUALLY, you will get over him. You need to mourn the loss of your husband and marriage. Don't beat yourself up. Please go talk to someone. It can only help!

Congratulations!! It's such a great feeling! Before you know it, those 14s will feel loose on you too!!

How exactly am I going to get myself into trouble? Are the Forum thugs going to come to my house and break my knees? All I was trying to say is, if you can't follow a strict diet now, how are you going to do it two years into your banding? I really am sorry if someone cannot handle my truthful, albeit hurtful words. I wasn't trying to make anyone cry, but this is real life, and I'm just giving real advice. Again, I wish everyone would let this go, but after getting almost "threatened" I don't appreciate it. I know what works for me and I've lost 63 pounds since June 22nd and I'm not drinking wine or eating desserts. Sorry!

I have to agree - you do look great!! I hope you feel great too. Congratulations!!!

Hey congrats!! You've made it this far, and yes, it has been rough. The most important thing is that you allow yourself to feel rotten for a few days. Even a couple of weeks. Don't rush anything. Your body has been through a lot. But you will feel like yourself again. We've all been there. Good luck and take care!! I'm sure we'll see you around the boards! :biggrin:

ok. Now I know what restriction feels like. haha. I went in for my third fill and got 1cc. To bring me up to 7cc;s and I feel completely different when I eat. I mean, I usually do measure stuff out etc, but I never felt "super full" or anything. and if I were ever anyplace where I wasn't measuring I could definitely eat more than I should. NOT anymore!! I'm so glad we didn't go with 2cc's like she wanted. I only wanted 1 cc and now I'm definitely feeling the restriction. Whoa.

So far no one has mentioned the protein shake I use. It's Labrada Lean Body for Her. it has 35g of protein. And the flavors are pretty good. They are called "soft serve" flavors. Now, dont get me wrong, I dont think they taste exactly like soft serve ice cream but they aren't bad. I especially like the chocolate, but they have vanilla and strawberry too. Again I like it because no after taste and GREAT protein...I Mean 35g...can't go wrong!

I know so many others have said it already, but I don't think it can be said enough: How you are feeling is normal! Believe me when I tell you, during the two weeks after my surgery I was soooo depressed. I missed food and continually questioned myself, "What did I do??? Take this thing out of me!!" I cried a lot. But I stuck it out. And I mourned "the loss" of food. When you get off of the liquid diet, and start to eat food...real food...you'll feel better. I spent 33 years eating whatever I wanted and it didn't make me happy. So why did I think running out and eating pizza and Wendy's was going to make me happy now (watching TV while recurperating didn't help. Every other commercial is for fast food!!)? It wasn't. I was and still am soooo curious as to how much weight I'll lose with this tool. It's been four months for me and I've lost 55 pounds. What you are feeling now will lessen in time, and you'll learn to eat in a whole new way. and learn to eat healthy!! And I'll be honest, I've eaten a McDonald's cheeseburger since my surgery. And I've still been able to lose weight. But it was one cheeseburger, not a Big Mac meal with a Coke and chicken mcnuggets too. I ate horribly and way too much pre-band. I can't even imagine the calorie intake before my surgery. It's like night and day now. I just know how you feel and I am so sorry. I wish I could show you a few months, no WEEKS even, into the future and you will see that you will make it! Will power - you have it, believe it or not! And like somenoe else said, you just kinda stop thinking of food. And THAT is awesome. I'm not saying you don't get hungry, but when you do, you eat your Protein and get filled up. And then you should be good for a bit. Instead of eating lunch and immediately afterwards, start thinking "What am I going to have for dinner?" I know this sounds lame, but if I can do it, anyone can do it!! It's so true. I was addicted to food. And probably always will be. But I'm in recovery if you will, and am taking back my life.

I am going to be honest with you, at first I was into cardio. I have a stationary bike at home (got it in the divorce. Thank you!). But then I started a weight training regimen and the cardio is nearly extinct at this point (not really doing it). I find that I do the free weights (some machines, but mostly free weights) three times a week. Alternating, so lets say upper body on M and F, and legs on W. The next week, legs on M and F and then upper body on W. I've been doing that for 12 weeks now. And I have to give a lot of credit to that. I heard that building the muscle burns calories more or faster or something. So I had a guy friend who lifted, and I had him help me put together a schedule for me. Nothing crazy!! But 8-10 different things for upper body and three for legs, and I force myself to go. I have a gym I can go to at work, so its so easy for me to pop in there right after work. I think eventually, once the weight loss starts to slow down or stop, I'll have to pick up with the cardio again,but as of right now, I'm steadily losing 1-3lbs a week. So I'm not complaining. I eat very well and do the free weights. and it's worked for me!! I never experienced the "bandster hell" that everyone talks about. I mean, the first two weeks after surgery sucked majorly but I've done pretty good so far.

When I was thinking about getting the band I didn't know anyone either. And the only reason I do now is because of the programs at my hospital, and through the folks on here. So consider yourself friends with a lot of folks who have a band!!! Don't feel discouraged. I hate to hear that. I had a horrible first two weeks so I can totally relate. But it will get better!!! I found this board to be sooooo helpful. Not everyone's story is the same. But along the way, you will get the info you need and you can chart your course. Good luck!! And stay focused. We're here for you!

congrats martom. it's an exciting journey!! :thumbup: I'm not a big fan of needles so to me it "hurts" even when she "numbed" it the first time. But having said that, it hurts for like a nano-second. I just put on my big-girl pants (no pun intended) and get it done. I'm due for my third fill next week. I'm doing pretty good with the two I already have, so I'm curious to see how I feel after a third!

I have the Realize-C band and my first fill was 4cc's. My second was 2cc's. I'm actually going in tomorrow morning for another fill. Although I have been losing pretty steadily and I'm wondering if I "need" another fill. I don't think I've hit my sweet spot just yet, but I'm afraid that if I put too much in, I'll get sick (vomit) when I eat. We'll see.

All or nothing attitude? Look, I'm completely sorry if you think I came across as rude or insensitive. And this will not be the first time someone has accused someone else of being rude because they don't like the things the read. So I apologize if I hurt your feelings. But perhaps you need to hear something like that for you to get on the right path. Before my surgery I was told (by my surgeon) that some people, for whatever reason, don't lose weight after getting the band. I asked "because they aren't eating correctly or exercising?" And she said "no. Just because. We dont know why they can't lose weight." Whoa. Obviously I went through with the surgery. I'm four months out. I was told very clearly...no alcohol for six months. Have you ever bothered to look at the nutritional value of wine? Look, all I'm saying is...now more than ever in your whole entire life, it is imperative that you eat healthy. I'm not saying "don't have a small piece of birthday cake when your (enter friend/relative here) has a party". What I'm saying is...not even two months out and you're "cheating?" You still need to train yourself. That's all I'm saying. I haven't had it easy either. But I was given a pretty good guideline/diet book before my surgery. And I've prety much stuck with it. I spent 33 years eating whatever the hell I wanted, and you're right...I didn't get this very expensive surgery to mess it all up. So I really do apologize if you think I'm rude. I'm really sorry. But join a support group. talk to your surgeon, or better yet, your nutritionist. Go over your food diary (are you keeping one of those?) And hopefully they can help steer you in the right direction. I'm just guessing (and I'm no professional) that if you aren't losing weight, the nutritionist isn't going to OK the sweets and wine. That's all I'm saying! Saline in your band isn't going to fix what's going in your mouth.

Not even two months and you are eating dessert and drinking wine? I'm not surprised you are not losing. The band can only do so much. It's your job to watch what goes into your mouth. Is more restriction going to keep you away from sugars? I dont think so.

The first two weeks were the hardest. I think by the second week I was eating Egg Beaters. Which was great, because it was easy to chew and it was warm. I missed warm food so badly. I couldnt deal with creamed Soup after the first time I ate it. The following four weeks after that were hard too because I still couldn't eat fruits and veggies yet. All I wanted was green grapes. The minute the nutritionist cleared me for fruits and veggies and ran and bought grapes. Its so funny how your outlook changes about food when you are restricted. Having said that, I was also dying for pizza. But that wasn't on my diet. So I secretly bought (I mean I live alone, how secret did I have to be?? but I never told anyone this) mini pizza bagels and I think i made one or two in my toaster oven. And cut it up real small and chewed chewed chewed!! And look, I didnt explode! It helped with the craving, to just have SOMETHING but not binge on it, you know? My surgery was in June and I'm down 52lbs so I must be doing something right. I hate the term "cheating" mostly because I doubt there are folks that do everything exactly like they are supposed to. I mean, I've had birthday cake when my nephew turned 5. It wasn't a huge piece like I used to eat. And I didnt go back for seconds. But it was a treat. And I made sure I ate good otherwise and exercised. And again, I'm still able to lose weight. So don't torture yourself. BUT having said that...you need to hang in there....It's early yet. The first two weeks sucked. Hell the first month sucked. (I must've asked "WHY didi I do this?" a hundred million times) But now I'm so glad I did. This is how I should've been eating all along. I went 33 years eating whatever I wanted when I wanted. And the only place that got me was fat. So...now I'm eating heatlhy. And by no means am I starving.