wannabeskinnyb

Bamboozle! Ha! I prefer hood-winked, myself....however, bamboozle is a good word. So, let me share with you my story. I had my procedure on May 15th (2009). Two weeks later (June 5th) I went to the doc's ofice to let me check out my cut and paste incisions he had performed because I was leaving to Youngstown (yawnnnnn) for a wedding, and I didn't want to look like a hem on a skirt from the Goodwill once I got there (meaning I come undone on the dancefloor.) Having said that, while I was at the office, the love of my new life (Dr. Alhorr), informs me he is going to give me a surprise and give me my first fill (4ccs!!!) His assistant gave it to me....did my cup of water test...couldn't swallow well....she sucked out 1 cc, and I left the office with 3cc filled tank. The result: I gained a pound in a week! Sooooo, yesterday I showed up at the office unannounced and told them I was out of control and wanted my 1cc back! They gave me 2ccs instead, leaving me with a total of 5ccs. I don't feel a ton of restriction, but I do get uncomfortable sooner while eating than I would have prior to the surgery. I'm still waiting for the pounds to melt off though. I was 226 (I think) at surgery, and I'm 211 now. I'd love to be 199 by my third fill. Who knows. I started my period today so I'm attributing 100 pounds to bloating. Apparently I've been bloated for the past 15 years. Let me know how you feel now after your second fill.

Je crois que le peuple de France l'amour des gens maigre, oui? French is rusty...sorry.

I know, right!?! LOL!

Okay, so I stole from the teen horror flick "I Know What You Did Last Summer," but I was looking for a catchy title. It means absolutely nothing, other than the fact I had my procedure in May 2009. So, I was driving in my radioless car (don't ask) and began day dreaming as I often do. I had this picture of me at the beach, wearing a bikini, looking fierce (can you picture it?) Then out of no where, a boat load of people were around me - all with their stomachs exposed...all with four tiny scars and one bigger scar on their abs. It was like a beach for former fatasses (I'm not even a "former" yet! How sick am I?) We were all comparing incisions, and talking about fills and restrictions. Having said that, I think I'm spending way too much energy thinking about this. I'm just saying....

Okay, so I stole from the teen horror flick "I Know What You Did Last Summer," but I was looking for a catchy title. It means absolutely nothing, other than the fact I had my procedure in May 2009. So, I was driving in my radioless car (don't ask) and began day dreaming as I often do. I had this picture of me at the beach, wearing a bikini, looking fierce (can you picture it?) Then out of no where, a boat load of people were around me - all with their stomachs exposed...all with four tiny scars and one bigger scar on their abs. It was like a beach for former fatasses (I'm not even a "former" yet! How sick am I?) We were all comparing incisions, and talking about fills and restrictions. Having said that, I think I'm spending way too much energy thinking about this. I'm just saying....

I suppose I should introduce myself before really writing something. I'm a wanna-be skinny "b" (I'll assume you all are adults here and know what I mean by "b".) I used to be skinny. Well, I was thinner....for about 5 minutes during my teens and early 20s. You know the story: First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in a baby carriage - attached to 60 pounds of body mass that has had severe seraration anxiety since 1994! Four children later my relationship with my fat has grown to become very unhealthy. I tried to beak up with fat on several occassions, but it doesn't seem to take rejection very well (very Fatal Attraction, if you know what I mean.) To be honest, I'm not even sure how I am fat. I really don't eat like a fat person (don't we all say this?) Maybe if I just worked out a little I could lose it all (ohhhhh I've heard this before too!) Truthfully, I eat all the wrong foods! It doesn't have to be large proportions to make an impact. Seriously though, I curse the day I was introduced to the Quarter Pounder with Cheese (make that super size please!) Skinny "b's" think they will always be skinny and never have to worry about gaining excessive weight. Boy, was I shocked when my body turned it's back on me! I felt so betrayed, like I was cheated on, you know? Well, enough is enough, I say! Change is on the horizon, people. May 15, 2009, is my new birth date (a far stretch from my original birthday of May 13th!) May 15th was the day that I allowed my sexy doctor to strangle the enemy (obviously this is a metaphor explaining the band and my stomach...) Now if only I could get a lobotomy to "unremember" how I like things in my mouth. (I have an oral fixation....but that's a whole other blog in itself!) Meanwhile, not to be too graphic, but I know no other way to life...I finally had a bowel movement yesterday!!!! Okay, seriously, my ass felt like it was about to fall out!!! (I have these Ally McBeal moments when I allow my imagination to overtake my normal thoughts, so when I say I thought my ass was about to fall out, I mean I really pictured my ass, sphincter and all, falling into the toilet!!!!) It was horribely painful. But, it's a small price to pay for living la vida skinny! Having said that, I hope I didn't offend anyone. I suppose I'll leave on that note. Until another day.....Salut! (P.S., I realize there is no climactic end to this blog, but it's 1:50 am here in Michigan, and I....(sigh)...I've got nothing....nothing witty....nothing clever....just an ass story about my shit. Hope you weren't dissappointed.)

Hey! So sorry I haven't checked my blog for comments. I would've responded to you earlier. Actually, Three weeks out of surgery my doctor decided to give me my first fill. It was 4cc's. The I did the water test and I couldn't really swallow that well (although it did go down.) He took out 1CC. Ever since then I can honestly say I feel nothing! No restriction at all. So, today I called him and requested another fill. He's seeing me on Monday. I'm eating regular foods now. Haven't gained any weight, but haven't lost either. I was told it would take a couple of fills before I really started to feel the restriction. Ohhhh how wonderful it will be when food and I break up for good!

Bravo! Very straight to the point. I've only been banded recently, but I have to say I've been a bit annoyed reading some posts of people complaining about the things you've mentioned in your blog. Enough is enough...it's time to get serious about the bodies we were given to take care of!

You are one funny lady!

Wait a minute, wait a minute! Let me get this right.... Your doctor didn't put you on a liquid diet for two weeks post procedure....and you get a fill next week???? Whoa! Doesn't your insides feel swollen, girlfriend???? Maybe I should get mine checked cause the area where my port is feels swollen, and I had my procedure last week on the 15th. You are one strong cookie to have been able to drive yourself home from the hospital. I wish you all the luck in the world. We're all in this together. Forget about the whispers behind your back, love. In a few months they will be whispering even more anyway because you will be looking way more fly than they ever could. Salut!

I suppose I should introduce myself before really writing something. I'm a wanna-be skinny "b" (I'll assume you all are adults here and know what I mean by "b".) I used to be skinny. Well, I was thinner....for about 5 minutes during my teens and early 20s. You know the story: First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in a baby carriage - attached to 60 pounds of body mass that has had severe seraration anxiety since 1994! Four children later my relationship with my fat has grown to become very unhealthy. I tried to beak up with fat on several occassions, but it doesn't seem to take rejection very well (very Fatal Attraction, if you know what I mean.) To be honest, I'm not even sure how I am fat. I really don't eat like a fat person (don't we all say this?) Maybe if I just worked out a little I could lose it all (ohhhhh I've heard this before too!) Truthfully, I eat all the wrong foods! It doesn't have to be large proportions to make an impact. Seriously though, I curse the day I was introduced to the Quarter Pounder with Cheese (make that super size please!) Skinny "b's" think they will always be skinny and never have to worry about gaining excessive weight. Boy, was I shocked when my body turned it's back on me! I felt so betrayed, like I was cheated on, you know? Well, enough is enough, I say! Change is on the horizon, people. May 15, 2009, is my new birth date (a far stretch from my original birthday of May 13th!) May 15th was the day that I allowed my sexy doctor to strangle the enemy (obviously this is a metaphor explaining the band and my stomach...) Now if only I could get a lobotomy to "unremember" how I like things in my mouth. (I have an oral fixation....but that's a whole other blog in itself!) Meanwhile, not to be too graphic, but I know no other way to life...I finally had a bowel movement yesterday!!!! Okay, seriously, my ass felt like it was about to fall out!!! (I have these Ally McBeal moments when I allow my imagination to overtake my normal thoughts, so when I say I thought my ass was about to fall out, I mean I really pictured my ass, sphincter and all, falling into the toilet!!!!) It was horribely painful. But, it's a small price to pay for living la vida skinny! Having said that, I hope I didn't offend anyone. I suppose I'll leave on that note. Until another day.....Salut! (P.S., I realize there is no climactic end to this blog, but it's 1:50 am here in Michigan, and I....(sigh)...I've got nothing....nothing witty....nothing clever....just an ass story about my shit. Hope you weren't dissappointed.)

I am still new at this whole "binding" experience, so I have yet to have any fills. Although I often think of what I will say to my doctor when I go in for my first fill. I want it to be witty, but the overload of liquids and lack of solids has left me, empty, so to speak. I wonder if my doctor has heard of "filler up"...or "unleaded please." I could always go with my usual, "ohhh, this reminds me of my heroine days..." but I fear he will take me seriously and have me admitted to the Betty Ford Clinic against my will (I swore that 28 days back in the 90s was my limit!) Anyhoo, thanks for the internal organ visual. I am now imagining my appendix (which I apparently have no need for) nestled snuggly against a cushion of fat. How sad that they will soon have to do there job suspended internally without the warmth of lard. Yeah, I know, I have way too much time on my hand.

10 pounds in three weeks??? That's fabulous, don't you think?!! I'm four days out of surgery and it appears I have gone down four pounds. I'm sure it's all water weight. The real test is when I can get on mushies (or solids.)

Hey there! I was also banded on Friday, May 15th. I get lots of pain in my left shoulder, and kinda feel like a jumbo jet 747 hit me...but other than that, I'm alright. I have no hunger, and sip liquids all day. I did start my period today, though, so the pain from cramps are lumped into the other pain. I plan on going back to work on Wednesday, so hopefully by then all will be close to normal again. (I may be overly optimistic here.) How do you feel?