TracyinKS

Well the upside to all this is that I've had coffee w/sf creamer 3 bites of cottage cheese 1 sbd Protein bar (that took most of the day to eat) 7 all bran garlic crackers (damn crackers go down too easily) 1 pudding cup around 60 oz's of Water................. so actually besides upping my protien It looks like a pretty good food day to me.......... as for SHREK........... He makes me so angry...... the kind of angry that you just want to punch him in the head (never have I felt such a deep dislike for someone) If I really looked deep into myself it would be partly because I allowed myself to be in a bad situation with him for two years... and that he is SUCH a good liar... .... my guess is that he is doing all of this out of spite, (for going to jail) and that is what makes me the MOST angry.. what happens when the novelty wears off and he disappears for another year or two...... YUP, Tracy as a momma grizzley isn't a very pretty site...... Time to get out of here............ Df is making spaghetti tonight so that means I will try to eat some meat sauce for dinner.

warning story ahead.. feel free to skip......... Married to HS sweetheart together for 17 years... He cheated and left on New Years eve....... 2 weeks later I meet Sons Bio (he was the bouncer at the bar) BAD BAD BAD time in my life.... but for some reason his sperm was strong enough to get this formerly infertile girl preggers... also he was only #2 on the sex partner list..... He has 4 kids, 4 women, all of us formerly infertile... go figure... HE IS 6'7" and was around 350-400 lbs... big bully... sadly, this strong independant woman that I am was at a low point and became a victim of both physical and mental abuse... ME the woman who helped build TWO homes didn't have the self esteem enough to paint a wall..... pathetic..... I found out who my true friends were during this time... the ones who loved me in spite of the crazy acting Tracy that I had turned into...... It was bad..... anyway a year into it... I turned up preggers.. everything changed.... I had a reason for living again and slowly as the months went on I regained my TRACY... He always told me that as soon as I became pregnant I turned into a major bitch.. I just explained to him that NO.. I was just turning back into Tracy and that he needed to get out... he said he'd NEVER LEAVE and that there was NO ONE who could make him leave....... so, I started planning for a way to get rid of shrek...... but was also torn about the biological factor...... HE IS BAD NEWS...... but he gave me my son and he begged me to let him be the dad he couldn't be to the others so I tried.. I really did... to put it midly it flopped..... big time.. I made his visitation during the week so it wouldn't interfere with his party lifestyle... but he wouldn't leave ME alone.... driving by my house reving up his engine, being in my driveway when I got home from work with empty whiskey bottles and then leaving before the cops got there...a wheel on my car came flying off while driving down the interstate.. neighbors telling me that he would pull down at the end of the block with his lights off and look around my windows..Hell he even tracked me down while on a date and scared the bejesus out of a poor guy that I was meeting for dinner! He had his entire family believing that I didn't want my son.. (he is THE BEST LIAR you will ever meet).... In 2006.. Feb-April, we had even tried court ordered supervised visitation.. twice a week I took my son to a place where he was allowed to spend an hour with him totally supervised..... he HATED it.. said it was BS...(he is even on a first name basis with the judge) UNBELIEVABLE.. (He had tried to get my son to only call me Tracy or say the F word, or momma's a bitch) very immature stuff....... anyway.. he finished the 12 weeks of CASA and showed up to court... he and I got into it and he started crying telling me to f off and that I had won........ at the time I went even MORE off the deep end telling him that it wasn't about he or I WINNING it was about him stepping UP to be a man.. I even made his big ass come back INTO the court room to tell him to sit his ass down and that he needed to go through the proper steps because I knew he did LOVE his son..... He just said he didn't have "it" in him and he left before the judge even got into the courtroom......... and that was a year ago April. I yelled at him that he was making the choice then and there to be IN his life or OUT. (he has another son who is now close to 12... that son has a screwed up head due to shrek constantly being let in and out) and that mother has always left the door open... Cody used to cry hysterically if I wasn't there by 5:15 to pick him up because he would freak out that "dad had forgotten him again" I told Shrek that MY SON WOULD NOT BE LIKE CODY! He WOULD have a better life!............ So now my son is 4 years old, he doesn't ask about him... I do have things that I have saved for his baby book when he gets older... but mainly Robby says.. "remember that one big guy?" I say "yes bubba I do." He says "He gave me that orange motorcycle".. I say "yes.. he did and no you can't play with it til your older." He says, "Mom you know what?" I say, "what?" He says... "I have two dads isn't that cool?" I say "That is WAY cool bubba!" The last time this happened was about a year ago......... We don't talk about him at all............... SO ANYWAY.. What has happened is that he got put in jail for a child support arrest warrant, and the way to bond out of jail is to pay $500 or whatever and a portion of that bond money goes to the child support case that was responsible for the warrant........ while in front of the judge he asked for parenting time, and because of that ORAL request, I am now called to court. He did it on the states dime, and I have to hire a lawyer to fight it........... The ass is so freaking smooth in front of the judge..... what will most likely happen is that he will have to go back through 12 weeks of CASA again..... Lets see... how Jerry Springer is this? in MO he is on 3 years supervised probation for non payment of child support. In my county he has 1 case, where warrants get served every 30 days for non payment In a neighboring county he has 2 cases, same issue.......... and HE NEVER GETS CAUGHT! and when he does he pays his way out of jail and disappears. He lives with a woman who is MARRIED and her husband is in JAIL..... they are constantly getting evicted from where ever they stay....... the last time I saw him in passing he was painting and looked like he had dropped a good 100 lbs...... DF jokingly said... "Hey maybe he got banded?" More like crackwatchers...... and to top it off... In august I did recieve $200 in child support....... and the older kids have been burning up my cell phone trying to talk to my son........ drama drama white trash drama.... I've been keeping it all at bay until now.... no wonder my band is swollen up so tight I don't even feel thirsty! I am in momma grizzley mode right now.

Checking in......... had a great weekend at the rally... but as soon as I got home and checked my mail.. I've been in the dumper. Short story..... son's bio is resurfacing. Got a letter over the weekend from my lawyer with a copy of a court order....... seeing my lawyer later this week...... (he has 4 kids, none of which he sees.. why us?) pain in the ass, deadbeat ass, imature, no job, no residence.... etc.... I want to eat, but can't (due to stress I'm sure).......... busy day at work.. gotta go.

TGIF! I just dropped my son off at grandmas and I snuck in here to peek.. I'm at her desk... Have a great weekend.... I will answer the goal question on Monday.

I projectile puked in our truck and it was NOT pretty!!!!!!!! I told DF, whatEVER you do........... DON'T LOOK (The man can pick up guts off the street but puke will have him passed out in seconds)....... I am really suprised it wasn't a chain reaction...... oh lord luckily I had "supplies"....... NO HAMBURGER HELPER!!! and I was even careful to pick out the pasta....... I was hungry and ate too fast obviously tooo much and BAMMO...... yet another bandlesson learned! Denise: Watchout........ here I come! I will try and sneak a peek in the morning before we pull out.. (gates don't open til noon but I know all the people working it so my plan is to be setting up camp by 11:00 a.m.) DF is NOT a drinker at all............ compared to him I'm a lush.... so dont worry Terry.. Neither one of us believe in drinking and driving let alone RIDING.....we take our ear plugs when ready for bed.. although this year we we will be in a camper instead of a tent........ I will be catching LOTS of grief but I don't care! AC and COFFEE in the am! Have a great evening............ there is no friggen way those jeans will fit by tomorrow with TOM here, but 2 weeks and they will be MINE!

Michelle: HUGS!!!!!!!!!!! You are too wound up.. you need a good soaking in a hot tub full of bubbles! Congrats on the no points on your ticket... I've entered the land of the bloggers.. its now in my signature. I will be out of town starting tomorrow for the weekend........ DF and I are going to a Rally with our camper and a generator! We live close enough that we can pull the camper out first and then come back and get the bikes..... We will be kid free W/AC.............. and wouldn't you freaking know it............ TOM started Today! So much for Tracy getting any.... (I even bought condoms out of my FSA account) I WILL be indulging in a few adult cocktails while sitting around the camper! Glugalug Crystal light and Parrot Bay Glugalug Have a glorious weekend

Don't beat yourself up.. you are now entering the first level of Bandster Hell! The time after surgery and before your first fill.. where you are getting hungry and CAN eat. Settle in for the ride, because you are on the banded side of life now... Congrats on your band!

CONgRATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Maybe you could link up with someone else around here to go with you

CONGRATS to all who've made it to the elusive ONEderland this week!

Onederland by Christmas is my goal!

check out posts from BabyGotBAck...

Waiting for an update!!!

Diane: I will be watching this thread INTENTLY... especially because I'm in the KC area as well. What ps are you using? and if you don't mind me asking.. how much is he charging you?

Good luck Michelle Jennifur: YOU HAVE IT TOO??? weird I was editing my weight log (that I've had going since 2003 thought it would be funny to post the LAST time I was trying to get into the 14's I still have those OLD navy slim fits too 7/23/2004, 224 trying to make 199 by Labor day 7/30/2004 222 cycle day 4 8/6/2004 219.5 got the 14 buttoned and zipped! 9/29/2004 208 got into the old navy slim fit 16's! 11/26/2004 212 ok.. Cheating is OVER! 12/6/2004 208.5 yeah back to it. Funny

GOOD MORNING! Laura: Totally know what you mean about jeckyl and hyde syndrome!!!!!!!! Glad that the scale dropped for you though! Judy: If your still around............ HAVE A GREAT TRIP! Christy: Glad to see you post!!!!!!!!! Denise: How was last night, any dd news? Terry: How is the unfill working for you? TracyK: WELL ............. are we getting nipped and tucked?????? Pam: How is your eating going???? When is your next fill? Is your closet full yet? My scale dropped this morning! I really hope this restriction stays put, because I'm not hungry hardly at all.......... but I CAN eat. Also... kind of an NSV........ weird but ... OK so the last couple times I lost a bunch of weight 70-80lbs my belly gets this weird dent in it.... imagine looking down at your belly and seeing a lopsided bulge, almost like you lost half the fat out of the front..... so this morning I noticed the same damn dent appearing........ so it IS an NSV because it means that I am losing belly fat... I had remembered when I no longer noticed the dent (on the way UP the scale) also historically 224 is where I plateau......... one of those body "memory" points I guess.... so getting past it into the teens will be a BIG Scale Victory. I am wearing a fitted stretch size 16w blouse and stretch 14/16 pants today........ Yeah me!

Kat:I am thinking when I go next week to get my Drivers License renewed, I may go braless---let the weight of them pull all the wrinkles out of my face for the close up picture!!! Then again, I'd hate to embarass myself by tripping on one and falling! I am laughing so hard at this I actually snorted!!!! Then I read it aloud to DF and he laughed and said we were just WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!! Terry: Glad the unfill is working sad that you are hungrier

My 4 year old was at the hospital with us and he just knew that mommy was seeing the doctor and that she would have Owies on her belly. He didn't like me in the bed but after I was out of recovery and he got to hug me he was ready to go off with grandpa. The step son's 7, 10, 12....... think I had the same surgery as their mother did (gallbladder)......... we didn't tell them because I didn't want them blabbing it to their entire town....... I have pb'd infront of them and they just think it was something that didn't set well.. since my stomach is now finicky..... really they don't think anything about it because thats the way kids are.. self absorbed...... when we go to buffets they don't notice that I'm not eating some of the things i used to eat... not a big deal at all.

Well Put Wendall!

LOL! Mine just keep getting longer and longer!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've NEVER had perky boobs... I developed early (started my period at 9) so I've started a new website where people can make donations.... getracynewboobs.com ............ :girl_hug: Just kidding....... Kinda :girl_hug:

I haven't noticed mine shrinking... but if they get totally deflated I may perk them back up when I get a breast lift! :girl_hug:

Jennifer: QUIT BEATING YOURSELF UP!!!!!!!! You are on the fast track to ONEderland. Drink that water and don't sweat the small stuff. The xfriend is a waste of air space...... I realized a long time ago that fake people and fair weather friends were NOT worth the energy to even THINK about them. QUIT giving her the POWER to hurt you. Change how you react to her and she will change the way she treats you.... same with other dead weight in your life.. they are zapping your energy... go buy or (try ON a new bra or something)

Michelle: call the prosecuting attorney and ask them to move it to a non moving violation... (they will double the ticket and it won't show on your insurance)....... You don't need a lawyer.

HOLY crap TERRY LOST 1.2lbs!!!! congrats :girl_hug:

Thank you for starting this thread!

Thanks for the compliment Michievious! SoOverIt: I'm not sure where you live but you could self pay in Denver for around 10K and even here in KS (Topeka) for around 11K. The stories I have read about the dreaded 6 month diet plans is that the insurance companies are setting you up for failure.. Every 4 weeks to the day, and if you miss an appointment you have to start over... then if you DO lose too much your BMI might fall under 35 and then they would say you don't qualify. That said it IS YOUR MONEY. I would call around and ask surgeons specifically what their CASH price is and if any fills are included. My docs CASH price and a year of fills is 16.5K, but the insurance price is around 23K. I love my band!