stateofzen

I think every couple has to negotiate what works for them and that sometimes, we lapbanders can be excessively demanding of our spouses and loved ones I do not forbid my husband from bringing foods I shouldn't eat into the house just because I will be tempted-- but to be fair, he really doesn't bring much home-- maybe we'll have a bag of tortilla chips, donuts or some snicker's bars (breakfast of champions-lol) that he keeps around. I think there has to be a healthy balance, particularly after you're through the first couple of months and are more mentally and physically controlled. I disagree that it is always "sabotage" when spouses bring sweets in the door-- sometimes, it's simply that they like the food and want to eat it.

Yay Monica, for hitting 50! I'm sorry you're still struggling with portions, MissJoany. Would it be possible for you to go talk to a counselor about food issues? It might be helpful for you if you find yourself thinking about food all of the time as a food addict. It's worth a try if it might help you succeed! I got a little fast and loose with what I was eating for a bit-- going out a lot and eating whatever sounded good, though not eating much. of it portion-wise I've forced myself to go low-carb again for the past couple of days and whew, what a difference it makes! I'm hoping to see a new number on the scale this week. I hit 210.2 after my fill and then tipped back up to 213 after I started eating solids again. The last two days have helped me lose the extra I'm hoping to see 209 or lower by the end of the week. I'm just hoping I can hit onederland by April 15th!

it seems like everyone is searching for the magic land of "restriction", but I'm beginning to realize that we may have very different ideas of what that means. I'm curious about what restriction or sweet spot, as terms, mean to you and how you use your band. For me, my band is working when it makes me feel full after small amounts of food and then stay full for several hours. When I say full, I mean "not hungry for another bite, even if my mental hunger tells me I still want to eat because it tastes good". For me, my band does not in any way restrict WHAT I can eat, just how much. I don't get stuck, I've never PB'ed or slimed, and I absolutely never want to. If I want a piece of pizza, I eat a piece of pizza (A Piece, at less than 200 calories for the meal) and the beauty is that I feel completely full after that one single piece. I don't usually eat bread or Pasta, but that is a choice, not a band-forced restriction. For me, I like it that way. I don't want pain and discomfort for the rest of my life to keep me thin-- I just want to eat like a normal person in normal amounts. What about you? I don't think everyone's bands work for them in the same way and I think new bandsters who are searching for the spot might be helped by understanding the different ways the band could work for an individual.

Spartan, I think your post is generally great, but the fact is, these statistics come from a number of meta-analytic studies that have been published in the top medical research journals like JAMA, and they most certainly ARE NOT made up of a sample of people who are eating two Snickers a day vs four. I've read them, so I'm not just spouting off what I've heard through the grapevine, either. I'm a psychologist who has worked in a number of medical settings, and has participated in a number of medical school lectures on obesity-- where the physicians are teaching these statistics because they are supported in study after study after study, no matter the diet program (medically supervised, behavioral changes, medication, etc.). Some people are able to change their ideas of food, fitness and health permanently and the OP may be one of them. I hope she is. But the numbers people quote in terms of those who successfully diet and maintain the weight loss 5 years out are sadly true given the preponderance of well-controlled scientific evidence.

I can take most pills just fine. Sometimes the large ones scare me so I cut them in half, but I'd probably be fine swallowing them whole. Other people can't. This will probably have to be a trial and error situation for you, but if you can get your meds in crushable, cutable, or liquid form for right after surgery I would highly recommend it.

Hi Mattie! Just to be clear, what I'm describing does involve a choice to put the fork down when I feel full but maybe would like to keep eating because dang, it tastes good!. But, the band makes that a pretty darn easy choice the majority of the time so it is a lot different experience for me than the old "diet" feeling of deprivation. I can honestly say that I don't feel deprived at all, even when I'm eating "band perfect".

If you drastically reduce your carbs for 2 weeks, I bet the cravings greatly diminish. I used to have to have something sweet every night. Then I did a very strict low carb diet for two weeks. For the first three days, I swear I was a raving lunatic. But then it was magic! I suddenly lost all cravings for sweets, starches like potatoes and corn, bread, Pasta, etc. It's worth a shot, and since its such a high Protein diet (with vegetables, but not fruit if you really want to wean yourself for two weeks), it fits wells with the band. Eventually I added fruit back in but left out all sugar and white flour. Actually, I'm thinking of doing another crash course after my holiday carb relapse

You're doing great! I lose in spurts, too, which can be frustrating. I will go a couple weeks bouncing up and down around the same pound, and then suddenly I'll see a drop all at once. Then I stick there for another couple weeks. Your body may be similar-- give it some more time and I bet you'll see a pattern emerge!

For me, it was a combination. I approached my surgery "in the zone". I put myself on a strict diet pre-surgery (for about a month and a half), and not only did that give me a heads up on behavior change but I was off of carbs/not craving starches and sugar and my stomach "shrunk" the way a good diet will temporarily do. I didn't do a last meal, I didn't try to live it up before, etc. I cannot overstate how important I perceive that mental commitment was in the days and weeks after surgery. If you can, make a commitment before surgery and don't think the band will do all the work. However, I can't ignore the fact that I am really really lucky in that I did get help with hunger right away, just from the band, without a fill. I have 2.5cc's in a 10 cc band and I am at the perfect spot to make me get full on very little food. This is not at all the norm as far as I can tell. My perception is that for many banded folks, the first weeks and months after surgery still feel like a diet. This is normal, but for most people it gets better as they learn what hunger is, what satiation is, and what "full" is. You don't want to feel full anymore! You want to feel not-hungry. That is a BIG learning curve for most obese folks like me, who used to eat so much for lunch/dinner that I would want to take a nap afterward. Every meal should not feel like Thanksgiving Now I eat enough to give my body energy, but never too much that my energy saps away like a hibernating bear.

I plan on a tummy tuck, because I'll most likely have an "apron" of excess skin and I don't think I can live with that. My boobs will be very saggy as well, but with a good bra, they look fine and I don't really think my husband will care so it wouldn't be worth the money to us.

I lost almost 30 lbs pre-surgery (I put myself on a strict Atkins-like low carb presurgical diet for a month and a half). I have lost 50 since surgery, which was 4 months ago, so that's a total of 80+ lost. No one really noticed I was losing weight until I was down 60 from my high, but I noticed as soon as my clothes started fitting differently at about 20 down. Keep in mind that I am a "lucky" one and I know a lot of people who had surgery the same time I did, who have had more fills, and have not lost anywhere close to what I have. One of the biggest depressing downers is when you compare your weight loss to the one or two people who do phenomenal, assume that is the norm, and then are completed crushed that you're not losing at the same rate. Resist doing that-- as long as you are following doctor's orders, the chances that you will lose weight eventually are very very good. 1-2 lbs a week is healthy and normal, but I've seen lots of people who are losing 1 lb week upset because they are losing slow-- they aren't, they are losing at the expected rate (that's 4-5 lbs a month). It's the super-losers who are doing something strange and unusual but because we all want to be the super fast losers, we set them up in our minds as the norm when they are not at all.

I drink red wine at least 2x a week. My loss is going just fine.

Shopping has replaced food, unfortunately It is so reinforcing to have new clothes in new sizes fit. Oh, and shoes! I had horrible foot and back pain before surgery and was only wearing Crocs-- now I've got so many new pairs of heels and boots it's not even funny. I find myself more willing to experience life outside my house or a restaurant. I have tickets in the next three months for an opera, a ballet, and at least one concert and have additional plans to have a girl's weekend in Las Vegas in April (can't wait to enjoy my window seats without worrying about infringing on the middle seat). I also still enjoy food-- but we make it count. My husband and I save lots of money by not eating fast food every day, so it's not a big deal to go to a very fancy restaurant once a month or so. The food is well-portioned for bandsters, it is delicious, and it feels pretty decadent to spend $100-$200 dollars on a long drawn out meal-- it's an occasion. We are childless, so it's easier for me to indulge in these types of things than it would be for others. But everyone finds something-- and it's very rewarding.

Cheese is my fave-- mostly because it really does curb my hunger with just a couple of cubes. I will sometimes do almonds. I also sometimes do a tablespoon of hummus (just hummus, nothing dipped in it) as a snack.

I've never traveled after a fill, but I know people who have to get on a plane just to *get* a fill and then fly home. These people sometimes have problems with the flight causing extra tightness/problems, but we're talking flying day of/day after a fill. Here is a link to a pdf document that I got from the blogger Lap Band Gal for ER docs. I'd take this with me when I travel, just in case you had to get an emergency unfill and couldn't find a bariatric surgeon to do it. PDF for ER Docs. Ultimately, you have to be able to do your job-- talk frankly with your doc about the impossibility of the 2 week thing and see if he can make a more conservative recommendation that you could live with.

I totally get where you're coming from here, but I think this is where the mental battle/mental changes come in. At least for me, coming to realize that food does NOT control me and I can, have, and will make better choices has been a significant part of the losing equation-- in fact, the most significant. The fact is, there are lots of ways to "get around" the band if we play mind tricks with ourselves. At least for me, as long as I tell myself I'm not in control. . . I won't be in control. I *can* eat Pasta, bread, cake, etc. I *can* eat a plate full of food (not that I feel great after, that's for sure). But I don't *have* to and the band didn't make me realize that-- that was a mental battle we all have to work through ourselves. It's clearly the hardest part- my best wishes to everyone.

Lisa, keep us updated on your fill. I went in today and got 1 cc-- for a total of 2.5. That's plenty for me I think-- it's weird how different people are with the amount of fill that feels good! I'm glad you had a good experience. Sucks about the girl's night-- my surgeon has a 3-day liquids after-fill diet, so if I were in your shoes I'd be sipping on tea! Doc thought my weight loss was good, so I guess I'm being too hard on myself. Big surprise, right? ")

Surprisingly, you can find jeans at Macy's and Belk's for the same price as Old Navy. But I get my jeans from Ross. JC Penney and Kohl's are great recs. Do you have a thrift store? I'm thinking about going in the next time I drop off my bigger clothes to check out the jeans section.

It's good to see you all still active! I am in a weird place where I know I'm "fine" but I also know I can do so much better! I have been eating horribly for almost a month now-- eating whatever (Pasta, some bread, lots of french fries and chips), and way too much of it. Sometimes I get full quickly and stop, most of the time I keep right on going. Sure, I'm eating less than I used to and I'm still losing (very very slowly now, for obvious reasons), but this is ridiculous. I don't want to complain because I've done very well, but when I think about how well I could be doing if I just followed the dang rules, I get frustrated with myself. I go for a fill tomorrow and though I'm scared about messing up the "easiness" I've got going now (no getting stuck or any other band-related negative, ever), I could use a little kick in the butt to get me back on track. If nothing else, my post-fill liquid diet should get me realigned Good to see you folks-- glad we're all around still getting the support we need.

I have had one fill, but at my last appt my doc decided not to give me another because I was losing well without more. i too can eat "anything" and have never had a bad band experience with getting stuck, etc. I look at this as a positive at the moment. Then again, I'm not crazy hungry either-- I'm a little hungry and I do eat more in volume than I'm supposed to (much much less than before surgery though) but I'm steadily losing so for now that's ok with me. If you are super hungry and surviving on will power alone, then make sure your doc knows that and gives you a fill. But if you're just thinking that the band should be stopping you from making certain food choices or giving you unpleasant experiences if it's working correctly and it's not, that doesn't mean it isn't working-- it's more about hunger than anything else.

That sounds neurological (brain based) and I don't think it could be related to the lap band. I'd go have it checked out since it is worsening.

Ok, I have to admit-- I bought some new cute panties and I hated them! I love my big old over-the-belly granny panties! They are so comfortable. Plus you can tuck your shirt into them I'm only sort of kidding about that last part.

Banded 9-17-2010. I'm down 69 lbs since pre-op (33 of which is post-surgery).

As a psychologist, I just have to comment that referring a person to counseling is not a negative thing and it does not mean that the evaluator thinks you're a lost cause or a failure. The fact is, we ALL know that our heads are as important in this as our stomachs, and for some people who are in a lot of additional stress (beyond the stress of the surgery itself), counseling could help you make sure that you succeed. That's what we all want, right? To succeed at this? Some people do get sent to a psych eval with someone who doesn't believe in WLS and that's horrible-- without a doubt. But a general referral that some therapy could help you with your weight loss journey is not a strike against you as a person, or a greedy attempt to make more money, or a statement that you're a horrible failure at life. It's a recommendation for an additional TOOL, just like the band is a tool. I go to all of the support groups I can get my hands on, and I have considered making an appt for some work on the "head" stuff that goes with drastically changing the way that I eat. That's a good thing, not a bad thing. Just something else to consider. . .