Desperate1

Hi everybody - I am so in love with all of you. Hearing the updates is so helpful and the comradery on here gets me amped up to start over again. First off - Analynn, so sorry for your trials and tribulations going thru the divorce - but congrats are in order! TamTam - Scarry Stuff but so glad you guys are OK and Reg - I don't think I recall hearing about your near death experience so I need to get caught up! love you girl! MY UPDATE: I suck! I have said from day 1 I'm a slacker and I am - I am back up to 190lbs - my lowest weight was 182.00. I still only have 5cc in my band as I lost my insurance right after my first fill. The good news is that this thing does keep me from gaining too much weight. Like right now, I can't eat much or i PB all day but when I'm down in the 180's I can eat everything. I'm gonna shoot for 180 and then the Fill Center Tina told us about! I have zero energy - I just want to sleep all the time so I started back on pure proteins again two days ago and it is HARD. I PB on everything and when I open my mouth it just comes back up on its own - not to mention that bending over is an absolute NO-NO. I have literally bent over to pet my cat and food came out my mouth and nose so fast it was crazy - husband not happy at all LOL.. Chocolate, however, is a completely different story - slides right on down but I believe it is one of the things that zaps me of all my energy (and keeps me fat) so it's history for as long as I can take it Oh, FYI: BRIDEZILLA IS HISTORY! I told her I needed some space because I was out of happy pills (welbutrin) and she's too depressing to deal with sober - she wasn't happy bout that! It was a long, negative process with the emails and her showing up at the house but finally I have peace in my life. Been about two weeks since I've heard anything from her. Yipee! So back to my update.... With no more wellbutrin I'm getting headaches every day again. I saw on Dr. Oz that cyanne pepper nasal spray takes away headaches - Im such a sucker - The pain in my nostrils was so harsh that it just distracted me from the pain in my head - didn't actually take it away so don't spend $19.00 on that crap. I have learned that if you get up and go outside into the fresh air and sunlight and move around you feel 80% better. I thank God for bringing on the sun! I'm a slow learner and my 40 years of bad habbits are proving harder to break than I anticipated! Im rambling so much I dont even know what I've said - time for a nap and I promise no more depressing posts after this update! See you all on May 14th!

I have a good feeling about this people! Pat you look Awsome in your picture! I will need to diet big time before I see you guys because Im so ashamed at how horrible I've been doing LOL. I did get a call from Richmond saying they have new programs for those of us who lost our insurance and was so excited but then she called back and said she was "mistaken" there are no fills available for us April - what's new sister?? Miss you so update me on the newest gossip! Riley Jane - so glad the not so new anymore relationship is going so well! shoot, you guys know I love to post forever but I'm running out the door so I will get back to you! Kisses & hugs!!

Howdy Ladies & John if you're still around It's been so long since I've been on here but suddently I'm getting emails that you girls are back! woo hoo!!! I miss my LBT group. I NEED my LBT group cuz I'm suckin at this band crud. Love/Hate relationship with this band. Im in any time!! Love you guys

DID I MENTION THAT MY LEGS HURT? I am way to out of shape to work out LOL Anybody catch Dr. Oz with the interventionist. They both indicated that food addiction is the hardest becaue we can't just stop eating all together! Easier to stop smoking, drinking or drugs. The lady said she finds ways to distract herself now like reading a book - yea, right! not working! TINA - So happy for you now!!!! I will need to call the center - I put in a request for a sacramento fill center for you - if you go online, there's a survey box and you should do it to see if they will actually open a new one there. I will call the center - or can I just call direct? TAMTAM - I have ZERO willpower - if you go back to the beginning of my posts you will see where I have admitted to being a slacker for real. Right now I just logged on because I was sitting here reading a book but couldn't keep my mind off chocolate covered peanuts. Just want them real bad right now. Bossom Buddy - thanks for the compliments but you're too kind :w00t: All that flab is killing me - I will try to get it up in one of my albums on here to show my tummy DISCLAIMER: Im in my bra so it is an R rated photo! JOHN - you are on! thongs it is - right after my tummy tuck, lower body lift, tan & pedicure - I'm all over it LOL. I was reading on this site where this one B**tch is always on talking about how great the sleeve is and how much the band sucks - she is not nice to people on the "support" group - go figure - anyway, she said they remove the stretchy part of the tummy & the hungry gland with the sleeve that is why it is a miracle surgury - you can never stretch your pouch and the signal is never sent to the brain to eat.... What's your take on that?? Lee - I pose the same to you? Very interested to know what you think. I personally would have done the sleeve if that were true - and if it was an option when I was going thru the process - I will say that I do love my band - when I have restriction it is the best. I am not hungry now so that is a plus but... I can eat anthing when I don't have the restriction - I love the restriction because it actually stops me in my tracks - won't allow me to eat even if I wanted to! Even my protein goes right down right now so to avoid over eating these days with no insurance I have been having portion controlled protein shakes for bfast & dinner -but eating a decent lunch - not losing any weight but have started going to the gym so I hope to do so soon Coco - good for you! Happy you got so full so fast today - hope it continues for you and works to your full advantage! April - what's up with you girlfriend?

Ash - you got this! go girl Can't wait to hear how it goes tomorrow John - Can we come to miami to visit if we promise not to wear speedo's?? BTW - I will be looking for those pics of you in your speedo next summer LOL. Does it feel like your pouch is bigger now already? I could fill it with lots a fiber... can we band the sleeve?? Chrissy - my bossom buddy - Did you get my pic in my new bra? Ebay! I got lucky to find it on there. For those of you with the larger cup sizes... I have found them in the US at Nordstroms - just be prepared to pay $75 buckaroos. Yes, they do have them at lane bryant for alot less but they start in a size 38 - a couple sizes too big for me :biggrin: Whatever you do, try it on at nordstroms, write down the brand, name & size then check ebay - I just got a "fantasy" brand bra - model is Karla and it fits so very well! Think I'll get a check for advertising??? Oh, Tina - I was online with fillcentersusa but I can't really find any info on the doc - did you HAVE to sign up thru them or did you go to her directly? They have a 1 year plan but no prices listed. I don't think I want to do that because I hope to have Kaiser back soon enough but for now, i need a fill. I don't think you need a sponsor at FA but that is the way its suppose to work - if its like OA. so if I'm gonna do it Im gonna go all out - no half assing this time LOL. That is, if I can wrap my mind around turning myself over to a higher power - don't think I can though....! I didn't get an email about the sac group. What happened to Angel? I so enjoy her humor! Donna - did you get the email - you don't want to do it on a regular basis? We could kinda lead ourselves under your supervision. We can pic a topic each month and we could all share.. like show & tell. hahaha - where are you miss lady? coco - no babies! not yet anyway... You should get a new email address by the way and slowly refer people over to it without forwarding it or announcing the new address - then flat cancel your current one LOL. I will look at your new pics in a sec - gotta finish my 5 page post Ali - did you say 50lbs? Would you be offended if I called you names - jealousy rears it's ugly head! Oh, well, I'll get over it! Pammie - where for art thou, Pammie?

Hey there good people... Well, yesterday was day 2 at the gym! My shoulders are sore. Today, my friend, Dawn, couldn't go and wouldn't you know it, I didn't go even though I could. Im I really so pathetic that I need a babysitter LOL Riley - I'm glad to hear that Chris' mom is so successful. I heard they are really strict but I think I need some help. I tried OA about 15 years ago but had such a hard time with it. I had a sponsor who was very harsh and, as much as I hate to admit this, I can't get into the "Higher Power" thing. I can't turn my life over - I tried. that said, I'm wondering if I can manage this time. Tina - It's scary how much we're alike and we're not even related... or are we? Do you know who your daddy is? LOL. I use to belong to Alateen but we never had to do any of the steps - it basically just let us know that we weren't the only ones with F*'d up parents. I have no idea who or how I've hurt others behind my food addiction let alone how to make ammends for it.... decisions, decisions... Decisions!! Pammie - I'm so happy for you. You deserve all the success that you can handle! I wish I could afford that class you're taking. sounds like It's really helping. Nicole - Good luck with the fill center. Keep me posted. I think once you get a fill you'll be in love with your band again. Coco - well, I can't say anything or else I will spill your news - I thought you said you were going to log on & post - hurry up!! Ali - this whole thing, band or sleeve is such a learning process. You'll get it down soon - although, I haven't yet. hahaha Heather - I'm so very happy for you, your fella - the new new house and Conan (he's too cute) Now, post some pics of your house - can't wait to see it - When we first bought our little house it seemed so overwhelming to be a grown up - before that, I felt like a kid still with a job and a place to rent - but now I have a mortgage and a career - woo hoo! It should be said that I was 34 before I became an adult LOL. Still don't really feel like one though. Oh, yeah - speaking of salad - i had no problems eating anything I wanted for the last few months but last night I had a salad and it all came back up - it was so weird! I was able to finish it an hour later with no problems - went down smooth. so here's what I'm thinking..... when I walk or work out my hands swell. Is it possible that my esophagus swells too cuz it was when I got home from the gym that I couldn't eat? Sound stupid?? JES - what's up with you girlfriend? Have a good friday all

I AM A FOOD ADDICT! Seriously, has anybody tried the "food addicts" group? I think I'm going to look into it for real. I THINK about food 24/7 and I can't seem to get a grip on it. I'm ok if I don't eat at all but once I start I'm a mess - can't stop! UGH!!! Had to get that off my chest. Ok, where were we... Tina & Nicole - I am so flippin happy to see you guys back up & running on here! Twin T - Thank Goodness for the fill. After my first/last fill I lost like 8lbs quickly, kept it off for about a month but couldn't lose anymore - not down to the 10 Doc Who said I needed to be at and, well, now I've gained that 8 back. GRR. In March we paid 1000.00 to cobra to get it up and running (had to pay some back pay for some rason) just got a letter stating my cobra ends at the end of May and we are done! I thought it was for 18 months but apparently, it's 18 months from when you stopped working - not 18 months from when you get off disability. My husband is off disability and our 18 months is up! I wish I could get a fill before it runs out but I know Doc Who won't give me one. I love him but he's a tough cookie! Nicole - I did not realize that you had ALL your fluid taken out. That just really sucks but it can't be worse than bandster hell when you have to restriction anyway so I'm here with ya! You have the exercise thing on your side. My friend joined 24hr in Vallejo so we started going together. Yesterday was our 1st day and boy did it suck. I truly hate exercising. I can't wait for the pool to be done with it's "maintenance" so I can get back in there. That is the only exercise that i don't hate. Don't love it but I don't completely hate it either - I think I need hypnontism for real! Back away from the crazy BFtoo!!!! Heather - think of it this way, look at all the "exercise" you're getting/have gotten without even trying LOL. Does your puppy wake you up 15 times a night? My cat has been doing that lately - just ramming his nose in my mouth with the loudest "Meow" possible - basically saying "wake up and pay me some attention, Damn it!" If I roll over, he walks over my neck to my face and starts all over again - WTF? mating season perhaps??? He is fixed though.... Ali - I so love tomato soup and I just had to tell you that because it has way way way too many carbs for me to eat it :smile2: I miss it :smile: so please try to enjoy it LOL. Congrats on your 9lb loss - I found it - boo hoo. Pammie - you are so flippin right about the behavior thing. I never thought of food as much as I have since I've been banded. I'm not hungry so don't get me wrong - by all means, I am never really hungry - it's all in my mouth. My taste buds send up these signals to my brain like "hey, im bored, give me something tasty" On mothers day I went to an all you can eat buffet - BIG MISTAKE! BTW: Chrissy is a tad crazy. Coco - Turn off the email! LOL. You & Robbie have fun last night gambling all your hard earned money away ???? John, Yes, come home! Cali misses you too!! I can't wait to see pics of the "New Body" So much I wanted to say but once again, queen of the long posts, forgot!

Thanks all for the b-day wishes! Riley: I believe i mentioned this before but, statistics show, that falling in love is the #1 cause of weight gain. (#2 is winning the lottery LOL) I hear you about stress, money, bill collectors, bridezillas throwing around expensive commands, lack of work, blah, blah, blah! It all adds up and the next thing you know... Hang in there honey pie you'll find your mojo soon enough! Pat - have you picked out a name yet? I love Poison Ivy but that is way too sexy a name for this beast - might wanna stick to Cruella. Elvira is good! G.I. Jane or Bionic woman, ooh, Isis - remember isis - not the egyption goddess but the superhero! There's Medusa or Tanya (harding LOL) Buffy and Xena the warrior princess - the list is endless hahahaha Sometimes rambo feels like medusa - turning my food to stone in my throat! John - glad you'r enjoying yourself with your old friends. Can't wait to see new pictures - I, on the other hand, haven 't lost any wieght. Crazy cuz i don't really eat much anymore but I've fallen back into my old habbits - eating nothing all day long then snackin in bed at night - just messin up my metabolism. I'm so friggin lazy LOL. I have been trying to have protein shakes for b-fast just to get the ball rolling. I really don't want to eat but my mouth wants to snack. Love to Nikki! Coco - so glad you called tonight - wuv u Chrissy - so glad my hubby & I got to hang with you and Dave today - even more glad that you aren't psychotic - now i can relax around you my "bosom" buddy LMFAO. Jes - Thanks for dinner wednesday. greatly enjoyed myself & my jello shot (shhh). See you soon. Tina - haven't heard from you girlie - keep me up to date on what's what~ Pammie - how are you? I can't get my emails thru to you guys - UGH! Donna - It was good to hear from you this week - sorry i had to cut it so short - my hubby, who spends way more time in the mirror then I do, gets so impatient LOL. TamTam - how is school going ? Ali - how are you doing thus far? I just want you all to know that my cat didn't come home last night! She NEVER leaves the front porch let alone stays out for more than 10 minutes a day so i was freakin out - I was up every hour checking for her. I got no sleep so I'm delerious - time for bed!

Good info Pat! That is exactly the type of book my husband would love - conspiracy theory - LOL the food industry is out to get us - probelm is, it's so true. I'm gonna check that book out. Hey Lee - you are a prius like me! we burn fuel too efficiently - instead of 18 miles to the gallon we get 50! So sorry :smile:

Imma kick ur AZZZZZZZ

PS Pat - are you finding David Kessler's book helpful. I've never heard of it but the title sounds so perfect!