CoCoBandster

Thanks mary and everyone else....your words are what i needed!

http://www.youtube.com/CoCoBandster

http://www.youtube.com/CoCoBandster

I need to be a little lighter on myself. But as usual I am beating myself up for what's wrong with my life. So, no referral faxing yet....and even though is shouldve happened last week. Maybe this week it will happen. So, Ive been thinking about how being overweight has held me back in so many ways.... No husband at 35 and I cant help but think now that because I never felt worthy..(being fat) that I never opened myself up to expecting or expecting someone to fall for me. I'm tired of sharing my bed with someone who doesnt desire more from me, and hold me up to sociey's standards of beauty and not being fat. Tired of being judges downward because I ate and what the eating has caused. Feeling less than because society says that I am. I held myself back socially because I didnt want to be compared to women of a lesser size. People think that I am really outgoing but that is all a front. I have a great smile and that is what I have hid behind all of my dating or lack of dating life. I have found myself going after men who were either not available or not "ready" to commit even a courtship with me. I hate myself for dragging out those relatonships that were doomed from the start. Being told all of your life that you have a beautiful face and being sufficed by that alone. It is getting old hearing that. And because I diabetic and high BP, I feel that I have unintentionally sabotaged myself, as I turned to food and overeating every time. As I lay alone in my bed at night, I wonder what if anything I would do differently if I had a real chance at life, I would not hold myself back and try new things. Poeple who have lost the weight that held them back , not only look differently but tell tales of a new lease on a bad life.... I pray that I get this surgery because I feel that its my turn...before I get too old for babies, love and a healthy life.:glare: I want so much to be in love with myself, and yet, I cant because I know that I havent given myself a real chance at happiness. Sorry, If I am depressing anyone reading this...just venting... So tired are my tears...:smile:

So, Ive started a VLOG on YouTube! CHeck me out and comment and subscribe to it... my name is : CoCoBandster So, Ive started a VLOG on YouTube! CHeck me out and comment and subscribe to it... my name is : CoCoBandster

So, Ive started a VLOG on YouTube! CHeck me out and comment and subscribe to it... my name is : CoCoBandster So, Ive started a VLOG on YouTube! CHeck me out and comment and subscribe to it... my name is : CoCoBandster

So, tomorrow my doctors is going to sign the referral and fax to the people who decide....sooooo, pray for me anyone who is Reading this..........:ohmy:

So, tomorrow my doctors is going to sign the referral and fax to the people who decide....sooooo, pray for me anyone who is Reading this..........

So, I met with my new doc last Thurs. and he is a dream. :tt1: He asked me the typical "What can I do for you today?" and I told him about pursuing lapband surgery and the nightmare doctors group that I just left for him. :w00t: He said..after looking through my records, my progress, my weight, diabetic history and high bp and said..."I see no reason why you shouldn't get the surgery,YOU need this surgery! :eek2: SO I told him how I have been talking to a Bariatric advocate (Tina) and he told me to find out what he needs to write or do to help me get there. He wrote the referral to the lap band surgeon...:crying: Soooo I am so excited that the ball is finally rolling! I am waiting for this referral to go through!:cool2: Thank you Lord! :biggrin:

So, I met with my new doc last Thurs. and he is a dream. :glare: He asked me the typical "What can I do for you today?" and I told him about pursuing lapband surgery and the nightmare doctors group that I just left for him. :cursing: He said..after looking through my records, my progress, my weight, diabetic history and high bp and said..."I see no reason why you shouldn't get the surgery,YOU need this surgery! :glare: SO I told him how I have been talking to a Bariatric advocate (Tina) and he told me to find out what he needs to write or do to help me get there. He wrote the referral to the lap band surgeon...:thumbdown: Soooo I am so excited that the ball is finally rolling! I am waiting for this referral to go through!:cursing: Thank you Lord!

My Bariatric Advocate...Tina, says that ikt couldnt hurt to send a letter in with my paperwork..so I am pasting it here. Please comment on what you think: May 6, 2009 I am writing this letter to beg that you consider allowing me to have the Lap- Band surgery for morbid obese members. I have always been a little overweight since a child. I was overweight as a teen, college student and now at thirty-five, I find myself combating every disease and condition that will most likely end my life. I have high cholesterol and I am diabetic, type 2. In October of 2008, I was admitted into the hospital for high blood pressure at. My weight is 250 @ 5’5”, with a BMI over 40. I have tried to fight this disease for over 4 years, with high sugar levels and I fear that I may be losing. Even on medication, my blood pressure can still hit dangerous spikes from any emotion that I have. I am afraid and I know that I have tried everything to get this weight off of me. I have lost weight and gained it back, feeling like a failure every time. I didn’t know what, whatever is in my will, that I could possibly do to improve my condition and control my appetite. I am ready to make a real change in my life and my overall health. I am asking, along with my years of documented seeking of help, that I be considered for the lap-band surgery. I asked my doctors years ago to work with me so that I would meet all of the requirements that Blue Cross Blue Shield would require. I have met almost every appointment that was scheduled except for those times when I just didn’t have the co-pay. I am very serious about improving my health and adding years to my life. I am 35 and I need the added support that the lap band surgery can offer to my commitment of losing weight. Thank you for your care and consideration in health. NiaNikole...

My Bariatric Advocate...Tina, says that ikt couldnt hurt to send a letter in with my paperwork..so I am pasting it here. Please comment on what you think: May 6, 2009 I am writing this letter to beg that you consider allowing me to have the Lap- Band surgery for morbid obese members. I have always been a little overweight since a child. I was overweight as a teen, college student and now at thirty-five, I find myself combating every disease and condition that will most likely end my life. I have high cholesterol and I am diabetic, type 2. In October of 2008, I was admitted into the hospital for high blood pressure at. My weight is 250 @ 5’5”, with a BMI over 40. I have tried to fight this disease for over 4 years, with high sugar levels and I fear that I may be losing. Even on medication, my blood pressure can still hit dangerous spikes from any emotion that I have. I am afraid and I know that I have tried everything to get this weight off of me. I have lost weight and gained it back, feeling like a failure every time. I didn’t know what, whatever is in my will, that I could possibly do to improve my condition and control my appetite. I am ready to make a real change in my life and my overall health. I am asking, along with my years of documented seeking of help, that I be considered for the lap-band surgery. I asked my doctors years ago to work with me so that I would meet all of the requirements that Blue Cross Blue Shield would require. I have met almost every appointment that was scheduled except for those times when I just didn’t have the co-pay. I am very serious about improving my health and adding years to my life. I am 35 and I need the added support that the lap band surgery can offer to my commitment of losing weight. Thank you for your care and consideration in health. NiaNikole...