milwif

Ok...I really shouldn't use the word "disdain" it's much too harsh. Don't get me wrong, I do love my body and I am so thankful for how far I have come. I just still have those days where I feel fat or I wish I were skinnier.

I have been banded for about a year and a half now. With the band there are many things you come to expect and rejoice in such as losing weight and getting healthy. One thing I did not expect to still be struggling with was my body image. While it has improved beyond measure, I still find myself comparing my body to other people's bodies, and looking in the mirror with disdain. Why do I do this to myself? I am so much happier and healthier, I have lost 85 lbs, my relationship with my friends, family, and husband has improved, I do things I never thought possible, and all around my life is significantly better. I suppose that to some degree I will always be just a little too hard on myself, I just hope that with time I learn to truly love my body and appreciate the progress I have made. One thing that I have also noticed is that before when I was bigger, I had no idea what I would look like at a certain weight. I could only guess that at 160 lbs I would be __ size or at 150 I would look like __. So now that I am actually hitting these numbers it's odd to compare how I look in reality, to how I imagined I would look. Can anyone else who is a ways out from surgery relate to these feelings?

Man how time flies! I was talking with my mother in law tonight about my surgery because she is interested in getting it and had a few questions. I was telling her how much weight I have lost and how long it took and it occured, exactly one year ago today I had surgery and changed my life! Here is what I have gained in my life: A positive outlook confidence and self assurance a gym membership smaller clothes happiness being social again the experience of doing a half marathon a husband that chases me around the house:wink2: a healthy, happy body! Here is what I have lost: 70 lbs. depression health problems trouble breathing doing simple tasks size 24 pants and 2x tops being embarrassed to go out or run into people I know I would do it all over again in a hearbeat. I heading nowhere fast as far as weight loss went and this band was really a blessing. I know that I still have weight to lose (30 lbs or so) but I have come very far and I'm so proud of that. Oh, I can also paint my toenails again:smile2:

I did the Pacific Crest Half Marathon in Sunriver, OR.

Thank you everyone! Shanny-I won't lie to you, there was a lot of pain and exhaustion. I hit a serious wall around mile 9 and really contemplated giving up. But I knew I would be so mad at myself for quitting with just 4 miles left to go. Plus, how was I suppose to go back home and tell everyone I couldn't finish? My advice to you is to really, really, really pace yourself from the get go. 13.1 miles is a very long distance to travel, and if you feel yourself getting too tired take it easy. Walk if you have to. Stop and get Water and electrolytes at every station. You have to do what's best for you and even if there are people flying past you, just do what you need to do to get to that finish line.

I just wanted to share, because I am so proud of myself. I would have never been able to do something like this before I was banded, and it was a huge milestone for me. Words can't express how amazing it felt to cross that finish line. It actually brought tears to my eyes. Even before I became obese, I wouldn't have had the guts to do a half marathon. My band really has changed my life. :ohmy: Anyone out there have a proud moment lately that you want to share?

I feel your pain with the constant pb'ing. I have the same problem, and my band is also not too tight. The reason I pb so much is because the muscle between my esophagus and my stomach does not function properly. It's suppose to work like a valve that opens to let food through then shut so the food goes down to the stomach (At least thats how it was explained to me) and my "valve" just stays open all the time. I've always had this problem it's just gotten worse with banding, especially at night when I lay down for bed. It's not acid reflux, it's literally just regurgitated food (gross, I know) Perhaps you should check with your Dr. to see if this could be what's wrong with you. There are treatments for it including supplements and surgery.

I've started running in the last few months, and I've noticed lately that when I run I get to a certain point and my port-or the muscle surrounding my port- hurts very badly. It's a sharp shooting pain similar to a muscle cramp, but quite a bit worse. It usually sets in after the one mile mark, and I have to stop and walk and take deep breaths to make it go away. Has anyone had this happen to them before? I think I may call my Dr. on Monday, because I'm suppose to do a half marathon next month but my port pain has been so unpredictable I'm not sure I'll be able to.