I'm feeling a lot of the same things, and I'm just beginning to get my "ducks in a row" to plan for surgery. I actually first considered surgery in 2003 and when I had my initial appointment and heard that you could no longer eat "normally" again (no diet coke, soft foods, etc.), I decided it was crazy to have surgery - I should be able to do this on my own! Well, here I am 5 years later, heavier than ever, and realizing - I can't do it on my own! It's really hard to come to the realization that I am an addict! Food is my drug of choice! I'm also feeling like after the surgery I'll be a "freak" - never able to just sit down at the table at eat like everyone else. Everyone around me thinks I'm such a strong person. I feel like I'm living a lie, and I'm about to be found out!!! I'm weak, weak, weak when it comes to controlling how much I eat. (Oh yeah, like they can't tell that we they look at my overweight body . . . ) Thanks so much for your posts - they really help me to see I'm not he only one feeling this way.
I'm afraid my emotions will get worse before they get better. Like I said, I don't even have a surgery date yet . . . . my husband is going to have a hard time understanding all of my emotions - any advice on helping him along ? ? ? :thumbup: