deedee

Lots of ramblings... It has been so long and I actually forgot that today was my surgiversary. This morning I received an email from another site congratulating me on being 3 years out so I thought I'd come here and check things out. Life really has changed over the past years, but that was inevitable with or without the sleeve The ugly... I am up 20 pounds from my goal weight and 30 pounds from my happy weight. About 25 of those pounds have been put on since the birth of my beautiful daughter who is now almost 16 months. I am not happy about this, but wow, being a mom really cut into my exercise and sleep time;-) I have now begun a consistent exercise routine again (after an inconsistent year), am trying to get the food choices under control (it's hard to make healthy choices on 5 hours of sleep) and hope by my birthday in October to be down at least 10 pounds. Ugly (pt. 2)-my body!!!!! I'm sitting at a size 10 and get so many compliments about how much better (healthier) I look compared to my size 4 body, and I'd have to agree to an extent, but boy do I miss my muscle-toned body:-( The bad... A big reason for having the vsg was to help our chances of getting pregnant. Unfortunately after a year out and steady for months below my goal weight, I went back to my RE and attempted to have some tests run. Long story short, it turned out that my only chance at pregnancy was to have my tubes removed, due to severe scarring, and go through IVF. I was VERY depressed for about a week. I'd figured out how we could afford (mentally and financially) IUI, but IVF??? And then I realized I could either be sad and upset or I could make a new plan, either way life was going to move forward. It's reflecting on times like this that I'm reminded how little is truly in our control, but fortunately God is at the helm and, at least in my experiences, has a more awesome plan for my life than even I could imagine. The good, great, fantastic... About a week after getting the devastating news and posting to this wonderful board about it, I read a reply from someone who opened my eyes. She probably doesn't even realize it, but after reading through all my posts she made a comment that changed my life. She said "I know that you would like to have a biological child but there are sooooo many many many children that need a loving home..." At first I was really offended, but then I reread all of my posts and realized that of course she and everyone else would assume that getting pregnant was very important to me, I mean look back at everything I'd posted about the drastic steps I was taking, BUT it wasn't about being pregnant to me, it was about being a mom and my husband being a dad. So... At that point, we half-heartedly discussed adoption, but that post really made me examine what we wanted. Shortly after that I we began the home study process and before our report was written we were matched with a wonderful young lady due in April. And the rest is history...although life wouldn't be life without a few issues, but it all worked out. Lastly... A big part of the struggle for me with food, exercise, and sleep this past year or so was the fact that I still was working outside my state about 40 miles each way. If you know anything about the Washington DC area, you know a commute like that can be horrendous AND it usually was. Well, in October 2011, I made the decision I wouldn't be coming back to this current job another school year and let my principal know. It was kind of scary with this economy and teaching jobs near my home very competitive, but I had to make a decision that was good for my health and family. In December I happened on a job fair and was offered a contract. In March I was offered a job in my own district for the remainder of the school year, but my current principal would not budge on the 30 days notice thing and they needed the position filled immediately, so I had to turn it down. That was a hard pill to swallow, but in the end, like most things, it worked out for the best. I ended up with a lot of possibilities and took one at an independent school near my house that begins at age three and goes through high school, which will be great as my baby grows up. I'm now laying in bed with a little girl curled up at my side because she thought 4 AM would be a good wake up time this morning and I was afraid she'd hurt herself jumping in her crib if I didn't get her out. So there's the good, bad, and ugly. Getting sleeved three years ago was an excellent decision for me and I know it's helped me get to where I am now. It sort of reminds me of the Robert Frost poem...and I took the road less traveled down and that has made all the difference. Who knows where the other fork (non-sleeve) would have led me, maybe somewhere just as great, but I'm happy to be where I am today!

A little history...My husband and I tried to get pregnant for a little over a year on our own with no luck. We then went to Shady Grove Fertility Center and I had lots of testing done and it was decided that I needed to have a myomectomy to remove a whole bunch of fibroids...I also wasn't ovulating at the time (cycles ranges from 45-90 days if I remember correctly??). Finally in January 09, I had my myomectomy and planned to returned to RE in May 09. In April, my husband sat me down and talked to me about his concerns regarding me getting pregnant at such a high weight. I agreed, although was very upset at first, and started a search which ultimately led to the VSG. As soon as I hit goal (Jan '10), and after talking to my surgeon, we started trying again and in June '10 I made the decision to go back to the RE. I went in yesterday for 3 day blood work (to see if I was ovulating and stuff) and an ultrasound. I asked the tech if she could share if there were any fibroids and she pointed out just one and pretty small at that (she said like the size of a pea). I got a call then yesterday afternoon and was told all my blood work looked good, but they wanted to schedule me for a hysterosonogram to check out my fibroids and polyps. I was a little concerned, but made the appointment. Well today I had a follow up with the doctor and he let me know that he saw a lot of Fluid that he thinks might indicate that my tubes are blocked and it was decided that I'd get an HSG test to see if they are. The last one (Dec 08) showed open tubes, but that was before the myomectomy. He said that sometimes during the healing process of removing the fibroids, scar tissue can develop that blocks the tubes. I go in next Tuesday for both the sonogram and HSG test and then will meet again with the RE to decide where to go from there. I am just so disappointed. The driving force behind me having the VSG was to get healthy in order to achieve and carry a healthy pregnancy. I know that there is still hope, but also know that after self-paying for the VSG, we really cannot afford IVF out of pocket (and my insurance has an exclusion policy). I know that I'm blessed in so many areas of my life and AM grateful, but goodness, why does this have to be so hard? I know I need to get over my pity party, but I'm just so sad. If you made it this far, thank you for reading. I'll be sure to post updates. Good luck to everyone on their motherhood journey!

It's been so long since I've posted, but I just realized that I had the vsg 2 years ago on August 4, and wanted to give a little update. I still feel this was one of the best decisions I ever made. My start weight was 238 pounds and my goal was 148 pounds. I originally lost to 134 pounds and fluctuated from 134 to 142 for a year and a half. I am now weighing in between 152-156 pounds and have been since May of this year. I'd like to lose between 6 and 10 pounds, but am okay with where I am right now (I really don't like how I look under 138 pounds). The best thing that has happened to me in the last two years, which I feel the vsg helped me get to, was the birth of my daughter! Originally I hoped the weight loss would help me conceive, but that was not meant to be and instead my husband and I had the wonderful opportunity to adopt a beautiful baby girl, who we named Lucy, born in mid April. And now with the weight off, I am so looking forward to being a very active mom and keeping up with her as she begins to move and groove:-) Here is a picture of us from a couple of weeks ago. For those starting out, good luck!

I was all set to go the IVF route as well, but it just wasn't meant to be. Four years ago I began with a fertility clinic and it was determined that I would need a myomectomy to remove fibroids, which I had done. Last summer (at almost a year out) I went back to the clinic thinking I was ready to try IUI and after some initial testing was told IVF was my only answer. I went in for a basic HSG and then a sonogram/mock transfer for IVF and found out (after very painful and bloody prodding) that neither could be done due to scarring...oh and they discovered new fibroids and cysts. It was determined, I think, that I needed to have something done with my tubes because of the scarring. I was heart broken, BUT my husband and I talked it over and decided that wasn't the right path for us at the time. We began looking into adoption and I'm VERY happy to say that it was the right path to parenthood for us! Almost 9 months later, from that RE appointment in July of 2010, we became parents to a beautiful and wonderful baby girl I just wanted to share my story because the biggest reason for me having the VSG was to become a mom some day. Although I didn't do it the way I thought would happen, I still feel that the procedure helped lead me to parenthood and I'm so grateful that I am a very healthy mother who has energy and can live a very active lifestyle with my little girl. Good luck on your journey and discovering the path that leads you to motherhood! P.S. here are some pictures of my little beauty!!!

I don't mind at all. My husband and I came to the decision last July after it looked like I'd need another surgery to conceive. We began the homestudy process in late August (I was ready to begin sooner, but our agency's social worker could not fit us in until then). The homestudy was finished the end of October and we were matched with an expectant mother around the same time. I had the opportunity to visit with her in late December (she lives a few states away) and then went down to stay a week before Lucy was born. We have a very open adoption, which might not be for everyone, and I was in the delivery room and the first person (after the nurse) to hold our daughter. I stayed in the hospital and we all went back to the condo we were renting after two nights. We cleared ICPC in about 3 weeks (a little long and I was really ready to get home). If you have any specific questions, feel free to email me at deedeeswann@me.com. Good luck!!!! It is so worth it:-)

Thank you all for the kind words! I'm truly happier than I ever imagined:-) I wish you all luck on your journeys!!!!! And here's another picture of our baby girl (I just cannot help it...I'm so in love)

Thank you for all the wonderful words!!!!!! I am just so in love and overjoyed that I'm a mom. Tiff, I'm beyond ecstatic for you! CONGRATULATIONS

It's been so long, but wanted to share that I am now a mommy through adoption. Lucy Elizabeth was born April 13, 2011. I was able to be in the delivery room and the first to hold her after the nurse. It has now been over a month and I am so glad that I had VSG in order to keep up with this little one. I managed to maintain my weight until my month long stay in Louisiana while adopting Lucy where I managed to put on 9 pounds I'm now back to teaching Jazzercise, so hopefully in the next month or two will be back down. Here is a picture of Lucy and I from her first baseball game today... And just a cute picture of Lucy...

Congratulations!!!!!!!!!! I rarely get on here anymore, but I am crying for you! You look super cute with that bump:-)

Just an update. It's been a very busy few months. We made it through the homestudy process (the process you go through to be approved to adopt) and we have been matched with a lovely woman who is due with a baby girl in April. She and I have hit it off so well, I'm actually going to go meet her in a couple of weeks (she lives in a different state). I am so excited...already filled up the baby's room and closet, but also realize that sometimes these things do not always work out as we plann, but we decided to just enjoy the minute:-) I want to wish everyone luck on both their weight loss and baby journey! Happy holidays, Dee Dee

A big hug for you Ange!!! I haven't been on in forever either, but I just read your post and had to reply. You are such a SUCCESS! 130 pounds gone is AMAZING. You should feel so proud. Yes, I think those old fat demons are still with me too. I felt I got too skinny (was not happy with how I looked) and allowed too many of my old bad food habits to creep back in and easily gained the 5 pounds I wanted to...unfortunately another 5 creeped back on right after the first 5:-( Something that has helped me get back on track (sort of) is joining an in person wls support group and attending pretty regularly (until the last month or so). I'm sure it's difficult with a baby, but maybe there is one in your area. Okay, this turned a bit longer than I planned:-) I just wanted you to know that you are a success! Happy Holidays! Dee Dee

I'd have to say the exercise. I know I've read articles on here and other places that say exercise doesn't help weight loss, but I feel it really helped me. I stopped worrying about counting carbs pretty early, about 3.5 months out, and I think that because I burned so many carbs with my exercise allowed me to continue to lose weight, but obviously I am not a medical professional, so maybe it was just luck??