Retta1983

Well I started with lapband surgery back in 2009 and had it emptied for a few years while going through IVF and then the pregnancy. When it came time to start adding fill again I had a lot of trouble because of scar tissue that had built up under the band so it was replaced, then that one was replaced because of a slip. As a result I had gastric bypass surgery last year but barely lost weight in recovery and have gone up and down ever since. The surgeon wants me to have an overstitch procedure to reduce the size of the pouch but unexpectedly I am pregnant again so everything is on hold for the moment. I'm very down and miserable about my weight as after getting down to 70kg with the band I have crept back up to 110kg and even at this point in my pregnancy (just shy of 20 weeks) I am having tailbone, hip and back pain, am constantly exhausted and pretty hormonal. Just frustrated and seem to be eating uncontrollably. As I think about it I realise that although on the surface the issue is that I have the capacity to eat so much more than I should since the surgery, which my surgeon advised is because I was one of his early surgeries and at the time he used a particular type of suture which has resulted in the same problem for several patients - but since he changed this technique others have had success. This is technically the problem. The deeper issue though is that there is something in me driving me to eat and eat and eat all the time and I don't know what to do. With the band the restriction I had resolved this issue because I physically couldn't eat more than I should but perhaps this is a problem because I never learned how to change my emotions and thinking around food. But how do you do that after a lifetime? I feel a failure because I am battling anxiety and depression all the time despite treatment and feel like I will be in this cycle forever.

Well I started with lapband surgery back in 2009 and had it emptied for a few years while going through IVF and then the pregnancy. When it came time to start adding fill again I had a lot of trouble because of scar tissue that had built up under the band so it was replaced, then that one was replaced because of a slip. As a result I had gastric bypass surgery last year but barely lost weight in recovery and have gone up and down ever since. The surgeon wants me to have an overstitch procedure to reduce the size of the pouch but unexpectedly I am pregnant again so everything is on hold for the moment. I'm very down and miserable about my weight as after getting down to 70kg with the band I have crept back up to 110kg and even at this point in my pregnancy (just shy of 20 weeks) I am having tailbone, hip and back pain, am constantly exhausted and pretty hormonal. Just frustrated and seem to be eating uncontrollably. As I think about it I realise that although on the surface the issue is that I have the capacity to eat so much more than I should since the surgery, which my surgeon advised is because I was one of his early surgeries and at the time he used a particular type of suture which has resulted in the same problem for several patients - but since he changed this technique others have had success. This is technically the problem. The deeper issue though is that there is something in me driving me to eat and eat and eat all the time and I don't know what to do. With the band the restriction I had resolved this issue because I physically couldn't eat more than I should but perhaps this is a problem because I never learned how to change my emotions and thinking around food. But how do you do that after a lifetime? I feel a failure because I am battling anxiety and depression all the time despite treatment and feel like I will be in this cycle forever.

Thank you so much Holly Dolly, Sandybraman and Bellaloco - I think it is a good thing to think about not just having chocolate about and trying to deal wiht the craving by having something small, lower fat and even a more expensive chocolate so that it is actually a treat rather than just getting cheap chocolate to keep those horrible feelings at bay. I was quite intrigued by the chocolate better oats, but had a look and it isn't available here in Australia unfortunately I will definitely keep an eye out for something similar though and in the meantime just trying to manage the cravings bit by bit and be a bit forgiving of myself. I think you're right Hollydolly - life is too short to be miserable as long as you live in a fairly healthy way and look after yourself it will be ok. Ooh, also was wondering, what sort of a calorie limit you stick to? I am quite lost with finding an appropriate limit for myself at the moment.

I hadn't even thought of strenuous exercise, but that actually sounds like a very good idea. In the afternoon after work each day I walk from my work to my husband's (about 4km) and on the days I do that I feel wonderful afterwards and the evenings are great. Perhaps a walk in the morning would be good too - and that would start me off on a better footing? I will certainly try that and see how I feel if I have done that. Perhaps if I ask him to drop me off further from work and I walk part of the way or if we do a walk with our dog before leaving in the morning that will make a difference? I think that I do have a problem with sugar as well as caffeine so it is going to be a double whammy to cut them both out but hopefully the endorphins from the exercise and having something alternative there to eat/drink will help me to get through it. I'm so grateful for all of your help xx

Oh I really need help. I crave chocolate all the time, it is worst in the morning though. Before I eat chocolate I am full of anxiety - physically my legs shake and jiggle, I feel stressed and unable to focus at work, but after I eat some start to feel better. Of course it isn't long before I feel sick though as I have such limited capacity in the mornings. What can I do? I want to cut chocolate out but can't cope with the anxiety and shakes - what is wrong with me???? Why am I so weak and pathetic?

Well that is an idea - I will try that tomorrow. I used to drink a lot of tea each day but after seeing that I was shaking, etc and sleep was difficult so I switched to drinking de-caf tea instead so perhaps having one caffeinated one in the morning would make the difference? Not sure . . . Although maybe I just need to find some way of coping with the anxiety and physical symptoms each morning and get through it without having to rely on another 'quick fix'? Just quite confused about this.

Oh I really need help. I crave chocolate all the time, it is worst in the morning though. Before I eat chocolate I am full of anxiety - physically my legs shake and jiggle, I feel stressed and unable to focus at work, but after I eat some start to feel better. Of course it isn't long before I feel sick though as I have such limited capacity in the mornings. What can I do? I want to cut chocolate out but can't cope with the anxiety and shakes - what is wrong with me???? Why am I so weak and pathetic?

I have felt so alone about all of this, but my hubby and I started trying to conceive back in February and since then have had two early miscarriages . . and then last month I got an ovulation test and my last cycle we pinpointed a good time to try to conceive and . . 'tried'. I am now a week late so was excited that maybe we were finally pregnant but have just started spotting this afternoon and I'm devastated. I want to cry and scream and . . . oh I don't know. I'm just very tired and emotional I suppose and I'm so exhausted after this year. I want to try and stay positive but am finding it really hard at the moment

Hello lovely ladies, I stumbled upon this thread and was happy to read that others are obviously going through some of the things that I have. I have felt so alone about all of this, but my hubby and I started trying to conceive back in February and since then have had two early miscarriages . . and then last month I got an ovulation test and my last cycle we pinpointed a good time to try to conceive and . . 'tried'. I am now a week late so was excited that maybe we were finally pregnant but have just started spotting this afternoon and I'm devastated. I want to cry and scream and . . . oh I don't know. I'm just very tired and emotional I suppose and I'm so exhausted after this year. I want to try and stay positive but am finding it really hard at the moment

well . . I'm a week late now. My nipples are changed, my breasts feel really big, seem to always be tired, quite nauseous and I can keep barely any food down so am back on Soup. I was going to the doctor today for a blood test to see if I'm pregnant but just got a call from the practice to say that the doctor is sick so I have to wait until Monday to go in now instead. Hmph. Hate the waiting.

Thank you for your message Tracey. I have always been good at looking on the bright side but it has been pretty hard lately. Hopefully all of these bad feelings and difficulty will be made worthwhile when I do have a baby some day though I hope all is going well with you

Goodness me these have been some bumpy months. The second pregnancy I had ended at 9 weeks - another early miscarriage. We just stopped trying for a month and I just had massages, did exercise and tried to make my body well again. Now I'm waiting for my next period, which is due tomorrow. I have had pains in the last week and every day have been so tired - even being a bit dizzy some days, so have wondered if we have conceived yet again. I don't want to get too excited in case I'm not . . or in case I am and we lose it again. This is so much harder than I was ever prepared for.

Thank you so much everyone, I really appreciate your feedback. I've actually found it hard to eat lately . . at least to eat consistently, and have been wanting nothing more than to be in bed the moment I get home from work. I spoke to my mum who has had a miscarriage before as well and she said that my body is recovering and that understandably my hormones are all over the place - that in time it will get easier, not to lose hope too much but just look after myself and think about the future a bit more and not to dwell on the past too much. I'm just going to have an early night and hope that tomorrow is a bit easier :biggrin:

I feel like such a huge failure. This may not be exactly the right forum for this but I really wanted to let it out. I started out by getting my lapband in June last year, a few months after my wedding day - when I weight 122kg's. I now weight 91kg's having lost 31kg's (that's around 68lbs) I haven't actually lost weight for the last few months though. I'm so sick of myself, bouncing between confident and depressed and having so much trouble keeping myself on track. This year after the 30kg's my husband and I decided to try for our first baby and now I have to say that we have had two early miscarriages and I'm thoroughly frustrated and lost. My husband wants us to stop trying for a month or so for me to recover a bit but all I can think is that we need to keep trying. I don't know, guess I'm just frustrated and upset overall - feel like I should have done much better and need to work harder at everything.