AngieB2009

Sounds like you had a great day! I love those days! Keep up the hard work!

I believe it is all about working with the band and your body. If you can afford it, I think having a .1 cc fill would be great. You were to tight, now your feeling a bit to open. When working on the "sweet spot" a small amount is often what it takes. One good thing is you are dialed into what amount you will need. Only other thing to do is be more dissaplined in what you are eating.

Awesome! What great news to share!

Awesome! Glad the fill was a goodie! Looking forward to reading more of your success!

I wish I could watch your video! Congrats on your success! I am happy for you and reading your blog gets me feeling pumped! My success has not been like yours but I to feel like I have been blessed and given a life saving gift!

Changes, oh how I love to see the changes. Posted by AngieB, Today, 08:20 AM Admin/Owner Options Make This Entry A Draft

Lowest number yet! 242.5 Yay Baby! Posted by AngieB, Today, 05:32 PM Admin/Owner Options Make This Entry A Draft

Idswim - no you are not out of line one bite. I appreciate your comments. I was in therapy but had to stop my sessions. Money is tight, so I blog what I feel think and do some other stuff on the side. I really appreciate you taking the time to share your story with me. It sounds like you have come along way.

This is a subject of a more serious nature. It has to do with my emotions, or lack of emotion on a subject. My mother’s best friend Edna has stage 4 lung cancer, and is going to be passing on. I feel numb, with out emotion at all toward this subject. Growing up, our family was very close to theirs. She was like a second mom to me. Having little or no emotion causes me to feel bad and closed off from her. My dear mom is very upset, and is having difficulty dealing with the change in life. I am doing my best to be supportive, and say things that will make her feel better, however I find myself feeling numb. I realize why I am feeling the way I do. I am hoping a bit of writing will help me process and share what is going on. I’ll have to share a bit of a back story. So, please bear with me as I fill in some details. I am not entirely sure how old I was, but I will say young. Around kindergarten, first grade time frame of my life. My mom would have her best friend Edna’s boys’ watch us when they would go out. The boys’ names are Kenny and Alan. At any rate, I remember when they watched us we would play hide and go seek. We were paired up, and Kenny was always my partner. He and I hid in my parents’ closet. While we were waiting to be found, he pulled out his penis and made me stroke it. I remember my cheeks burning with embarrassment and I felt scared and forced to do something I didn’t want to do. When I told my parents about it, I remember getting in trouble for telling stories. I have always been an emotional person, and my mother thought I was not telling the truth and being dramatic. (I would cry when I told her about what was happening, why a kid would make something like that up is beyond me.) I continued speaking out, and they continued punishing me. Telling me what I was saying was not true. Oh denial is not bliss! It was not until my brother stepped in to advert a spanking for my tails, to defend me, and say my story was true, that I stopped getting into trouble. I was to young to know what went on, but I knew the boys’ didn’t watch us anymore from that time on. My folks handled the situation in the poorest of ways, they did nothing. Well, that is not exactly true, the boys never baby sat again, and my mother gave Kenny a tongue lashing, and told him she was keeping her eye on him. There are several issues that stemmed from this. My protectors did little to keep me safe. Our families where very close, we spent large amounts of time together, and that did not change. Mom and dad decided to not say anything. Our families where so close and by bring up what happened it would surely change the relationships between the two. My father thought I wouldn’t remember, as I was a young girl when this happened. Little did they know, it broke something inside of me and changed me for my life to come. Okay, so this really has little to do with Edna, and she has been a great friend to my mother and has always shown us love. When I talk to my mom and she brings up the subject, I don’t have any feelings. When my mother cries and struggles for words, I set there blankly not feeling anything. Right now my mother has been traveling back in forth from her house to Edna’s caring for her. Helping her do what needs to be done. She is a dying woman with little strength or stamina left. The only time I feel anything is when she brings up Kenny’s name. Then I feel anger and I want to say so much. Mostly I want to say don’t utter his name to me. I realize my parents are wrong, and we do not see eye to eye on what happened when I was a child or how they choose to deal with the fall out. I can not change them, or even get them to see my point of view. That fact I have accepted, and feel at peace about. What is hard for me is to listen to her talk about “him” to me. Have some tact and respect. She has a totally different perspective of what happened. I get that, but she knows how I feel about the subject. The only reason I am cutting her slack and not saying how I feel is to let her feel sadness and grief with out shutting the door to her. I know I will not be attending Edna’s funeral. I can’t trust myself to be respectful and honor her life. You know the saying …. “There is a time and place for everything.” I truly feel like if I would see Kenny, I would go up to him and speak my mind. Right there at the funeral. Oh wouldn’t that be nice. Me in all my grownupness and Kenny, talking about how he use to abuse me. What a shock to his wife and kids. My mother would be so happy! I have thought about finding him over the years, just to say what I wanted to say, but I had chosen to remain silent. Now I know where he lives, I suppose I will have to decide if I want to write him a letter or call him. At any rate, talking to my mom about this has let me know although I have come a long way from where out of the woods emotionally on this subject. I realize it is not Edna’s fault, why am I blocked emotionally when it comes to grief? I do know this, while I have been typing this out, the foodie in me has emerged. I went and bought a scrambled egg. Food is still my solace……at least I am choosing better even if I have chosen to eat my emotions. Baby steps, and progress not perfection. Right?! A scrambled egg is better than a pumpkin pie….a whole pumpkin pie.

How very sad.....that is very good of you to be there for your friend. Sometimes being there for ourselves is equally hard. I struggle with emotional eating as well. Did it make you feel any better....it never does for me. I actually feel worse afterwards....

I was a self pay too, however I left the country and saved a ton of money. I paid 8 for my surgery, travel and have paid another 1200 for fills. My surgeon was Dr. Ortiz. He is on youtube as well. Great surgeon and is very well known. He runs the Obestity Control Center! Love that place and his staff. I also love being banded, it was tough until I reached a good level of restriction, but now I am very pleased! Congrats on your choice, and over coming your fear!

Keep up the great weight loss, and attitude. I love the lack of planning. I think going with the flo is cool!

This is great! 241.8 Posted by AngieB, Today, 09:51 AM Admin/Owner Options Make This Entry A Draft

This is great! 241.8 Posted by AngieB, Today, 09:51 AM Admin/Owner Options Make This Entry A Draft

Thanks! It really is. Sometimes I feel so blessed to be banded it is not even funny.

The only thing I pay attention to is getting my protein in. Otherwise I do what I want....bad I know. Oh, and I make sure to drink 60 oz of zero calorie vitamin water. Sounds like a fill is in order, but chew chew chew....

Seems we are speaking the same language. Emotional EATING! Ugh! Hang in there this week will be a better week! Looking forward to Friday to see how much better we will do this week! Let's pull it togther so we don't have to feel bad for the scale.....

Lowest number yet! 242.5 Yay Baby! Posted by AngieB, Today, 05:32 PM Admin/Owner Options Make This Entry A Draft

Hey Jerseygirl518 - be sure to let us know how your fill goes. I'e had my fourth fill already! Amazing how each of us varies. That is pretty awesome you are doing good with less fills! Yay you!!! Boykie - Congrats on the 4 lbs!! That must feel great! Woo hoo! I am reporting my weight as 244.6 this morning. I've been struggling with some emotional issues. Found it hard not to over eat to sooth my emotional state. I've been blogging a little about what is going on as a place to get it off my chest. Going to see my therapist for some process time. Ugh! Happy Friday to you and keep on keeping on!!!

Emotional health and wellness. Posted by AngieB, Today, 08:59 AM Admin/Owner Options Make This Entry A Draft

Emotional health and wellness. Posted by AngieB, Today, 08:59 AM Admin/Owner Options Make This Entry A Draft

The number on the scale was 243.6 this morning! Posted by AngieB, Today, 08:09 AM Admin/Owner Options Make This Entry A Draft

Great info, thanks for the website tip!

I had surgery on a Friday and was back to work the following Wednesday. I took Monday and Tues off because my hubby was having knee surgery, otherwise I would have been good to go back to work on Monday. That being said....I was one of "those" bansters who had NO GAS PAINS. I was like the bounce back kid! It was great! Everyone is different.

Tricia - sounds like you are on your way! Your surgeon sounds great! I went to a good Dr too and it makes all the difference. Keep on diving in the information! Before long you will know what is right for you!