UpperWestSide

Hi Everyone: it has been many years since I was active on this Board but I wanted to share some exciting news, especially for New York City area people. I had lapband surgery almost 8 years ago and I have written a show about both my life before as an Opera Singer, my surgery and my life since. It had its debut performance on May 15th to a sold out house so we have added a second performance on July 11th at Dixon Place in New York on the Lower East Side. I wanted to share the information in case of any interest here. This board was so important to me when I had my surgery that I wanted to come back and let you know. http://dixonplace.org/performances/bandwidth-the-ups-downs-of-a-lesbian-diva/

Hi Everyone: it has been many years since I was active on this Board but I wanted to share some exciting news, especially for New York City area people. I had lapband surgery almost 8 years ago and I have written a show about both my life before as an Opera Singer, my surgery and my life since. It had its debut performance on May 15th to a sold out house so we have added a second performance on July 11th at Dixon Place in New York on the Lower East Side. I wanted to share the information in case of any interest here. This board was so important to me when I had my surgery that I wanted to come back and let you know. http://dixonplace.org/performances/bandwidth-the-ups-downs-of-a-lesbian-diva/

Hi Everyone: it has been many years since I was active on this Board but I wanted to share some exciting news, especially for New York City area people. I had lapband surgery almost 8 years ago and I have written a show about both my life before as an Opera Singer, my surgery and my life since. It had its debut performance on May 15th to a sold out house so we have added a second performance on July 11th at Dixon Place in New York on the Lower East Side. I wanted to share the information in case of any interest here. This board was so important to me when I had my surgery that I wanted to come back and let you know. http://dixonplace.org/performances/bandwidth-the-ups-downs-of-a-lesbian-diva/

Many of us have heard the incredibly high numbers of divorces among WLS patients. I am one of those women. I left a 15 year marriage exactly a year after surgery when I had lost 80 pounds and had a whole new life opening up in front of me. My partner just could not go on that journey with me. Well, now I am happily seeing someone new who wants to really be supportive during this journey with me. But what is the best way to do that? I wish there was a Board or support group for family members and spouses of Lap Band patients so they can understand what helps, what is not helpful and how to understand the journey we are on. My new partner says that living with someone who has the lapband is sort of like living with someone with diabetes. It can be managed and you can have a wonderful life but you have to understand what you are dealing with. I really do agree. I love my band but knowing how foods affect it and my weight loss is half the battle. I am happy to be with someone now who actively wants to participate in my success. But where are the tools for this? Are there any resources out there for our husbands, wives and partners?

I used to sign in to a page that would show the most recent posts. Does that not exist anymore? I found it the best way to keep on top of trending topics. Thanks

Well, two years later and I feel pretty great. I am down nearly 90 pounds and have been able to maintain it. I exercise regularly and just completed a hiking and biking trip of Alaska. 12 days of really hard stuff and loved every minute. Some things have been really hard. I divorced my partner of 15 years but am now in a really satisfying relationship. I want to get to my next level this year and feel in a good place to do that. Best of luck to all of you.

Has anyone had any experience with eating steamed mussels with a band? I would love to try them but I fear that they are too rubbery. I have a similar fear with clams. I recently had an oyster and everything was fine but that was raw. Any thoughts here? Thanks.

I am thinking of having an unfill when I go on a trip in June. This is not so I can pig out on vacation. I am now healthy enough to do a hiking and biking trip of Alaska! I never thought I would be able to do that when I was over 300 pounds but now I am really looking forward to it. But I have a concern. I am thinking about asking for an unfill for 2 reasons. One is that I will be exercising very hard during this trip with long bike rides each day and we will even be climbing a mountain. I am worried that I won't be able to eat enough to keep up my energy although I guess I could eat those energy supplements. But my real reason for thinking about an unfill is that I am concerned what would happen if I had a band problem while in a fairly remote region. What if something got seriously stuck or I had a stomach virus. I can't imagine that a local small hospital would have any idea what to do. Anyone had this kind of experience or any thoughts about it.

Actually, I think this is very interesting. At the pre-surgucal seminar, the Dr. I heard actually said that he does get a lot of requests for unfils from his Jewish patients for Pesach. He did indicate that he loosens the band before the holiday and fills it again after. I was not quite sure if it was because people wanted to eat more or because they could not eat the matzah easily although I thought he meant the latter. But he said it was a very common request, especially from the orthodox community. No one else has heard this?

OK. Did I get your attention? I really just wanted to share with you that after a conversation with the powers that be here at Lapbandtalk, a forum for those who love and care for us little ol' lapbandersters to have a place of their own to talk about their concerns and questions has been set up. No where on the whole internet is there a place for people involved in the lives of banded people just to talk about their concerns and figure out what changes they need to make or expect as the significant person in their life makes this huge change. The divorce rate for WLS patients is quite high. Well maybe if there was a place that was comfortable for those we are involved with to talk it might be lower. Feel free to share this space with those in your life who are on this journey with you (even if the problem may be that they don't go on the journey). It might make a difference. http://www.lapbandta...ends-new-forum/ It is new and there is not much there yet but I bet it can become quite active.

OK. Did I get your attention? I really just wanted to share with you that after a conversation with the powers that be here at Lapbandtalk, a forum for those who love and care for us little ol' lapbandersters to have a place of their own to talk about their concerns and questions has been set up. No where on the whole internet is there a place for people involved in the lives of banded people just to talk about their concerns and figure out what changes they need to make or expect as the significant person in their life makes this huge change. The divorce rate for WLS patients is quite high. Well maybe if there was a place that was comfortable for those we are involved with to talk it might be lower. Feel free to share this space with those in your life who are on this journey with you (even if the problem may be that they don't go on the journey). It might make a difference. http://www.lapbandta...ends-new-forum/ It is new and there is not much there yet but I bet it can become quite active.

I was wondering how a new section gets added to lapband talk. There are at least 3 current threads either started by or about providing support for husbands, wives , partners and friends. The divorce rate is so high amoung bandsters and there really is no place on the net for this kind of support for our loved ones. If you could create a section where they could talk or ask questions i bet it would get active quite quickly. While some do participate in the general forums, having a specific space for them to create community might begin to address the high stress levels in our relationships. Thanks

Great, Alex. So how does it get added as a new section?

Thanks for responding to this thread. I totally get what you are experiencing and how hard that can be. It may be your job to make the changes for yourself but I can't believe that your husband is putting chocolate bars in front of you. That is just sabotage, plain and simple. I'm glad to hear you have a therapist during this because that can really help get you through all of things associated with making this change. Believe me, not only will people notice and begin to express their interest, but you will not be willing to put up with the old way of living all that long. I can't really believe that I have so much confidence and belief that I am actually beautiful. But I am and I do. I have a new love in my life who appreciate me and cheers me on in this process. I deserve that and so do you.

My answer i a total "YES". I was banded about 5 months ago and I can't remember a time a felt better. I have lost 85 pounds on my way to 130 pound lost. I have almost never felt defeated. Were there times that were hard? Sure, like when I went 3 months with almost no weight loss. But that was a long time ago and I have never felt so in control of my weight and my body. You know, change is never easy. I went through a divorce in the middle of this because, in part, my partner could just not be with my on this journey and continued to be as unhealthy as I had been. That was a hard relationship to lose. But I am now in a new relationship and it and I are both thriving. I remember, early on, when someone on this board said that just wait until the highs of the early weight loss wear off. You will find the band hard to sustain. Well, I waited for that time and understand what she meant in terms of this being a tool you have to work with. And yes, I loved the early months when I would lose 10 pounds in a month. But the sustainability of eating this way was never something I could do on a regular diet and I feel great. So go for it and know that you too can get control of your life and weight.

It may be that you are having a bit of reflux which is important to be aware of. If this is a feeling of fullness in your throat, it may be a sign that some acid is causing the area to swell a bit. I have had this before (although not from being banded). Call your Dr. and let them know. Ii don't know how they treat it if it is caused by the band so early on. Later, it is a sign that you may be too tight and here it may just be a sign that you have significant swelling from the surgery. This sight is a great source of help but you should always check things like this out with your Dr. Best of luck to you.

I have been through a few types of vitamins and kept not taking them because of the taste or consistancy. The liquid was terrible. I have now found powdered vitamins from the Vitamin Shoppe. Since i drink a shake every day for breakfast I just slip them in there. They don't have a big effect on the taste although they do make the shake feel a bit thicker. But I know I am no getting these important vitamins and minerals.

Herraven: First of all, call your Dr. You should be able to drink. That is crucial to a good recovery. Second, did your Dr. tell you what kind of scars you should expect? If he did and they are larger than you expected you need to know why. It could be that there is a very good reason why they are the way they are. If you never discussed it with him you still have the right to ask for an explanation of what they are. Third, You should try to put behind the whole Bride of Frankenstein thinking. Just imagine how you will feel when you begin to lose a significant amount of weight. You will begin to feel beautiful in ways you can't imagine right now and a few scars on your tummy will not take away from that feeling. But you need to feel better about what you are going through right now and so call your Dr. Keep us posted.

Thanks to everyone who made their commnets. I feel very sad but strong in my feelings that this is the right move for me. Hopefully, my partner will find the strength to find more satisfaction in her life and move forward with some attempt to be healthier in both her weight and outlook. I really wish nothing less for her.

Good Morning: I am now facing the biggest change in my life. After 15 years of being together, my partner and I are now separating. It is heartbreaking but it is a direction of my own choosing. We have grown fat together and I started down this road of weight loss nearly 2 years ago and had the band a year ago. She could not change with me and that has been very painful. I knew that the band would change so many things but this was not one i saw coming. With all of the research I did I never googled divorce and WLS but now I see that th divorce rate is as high as 80 percent according to some studies. I guess I am not surprised. I spent the past year looking at the change in my in terms of how I fit into new clothes or how I looked in the mirror. I never really looked inside to see how I was changing there. But clearly it is has been as least as big a change on the inside as the outside, if not more. I am beginning to like my body. I see myself as more confident and more in charge of my own life. I want to give myself the opportunity to experience new things and while that is scary, it is thrilling at the same time. My partner can't do the physical things i can and is not looking to explore new ways of being. For these reasons and for so many more I feel I need to move to the next stage of my life. The mix of emotions is so high but I am ready to be a 51 year old woman with a long time ahead of me to build a new life. Is this a mid life crisis? Perhaps. But it is a crisis of my own making and she can't be with me as I go through it. I am both very sad at this turn of events and nearly giddy with excitment that I have found the strength to accept that I have given myself new length of days to live my life. 2 years ago I was sure I would have a short life. My body was breaking down and I could barely move. Now I have strength of body and of mind to move forward alone. I wish it could have been with her but change is hard to share. We could have both gone through this kind of transformation and still ended in this place. People don't change in the same ways. While I am scared I am also so hopeful that life will bring me what I really believe I deserve now. Time to enjoy life and find whatever I was meant to be in my next 50 years.

Thats a hard one. I have found the various shrinks I have seen over the years 9well I am a typical new yorker) from other contact s like friends or other Drs. If you like the one you used for the evaluation then use them. Or may ask them for a private recommendations. Good luck to you.

I am back just to say one thing about why you think you eat. I thought I was an emotional eater. I thought I soothed myself with food when I got stressed. But I actually discovered that this was not the case after the surgery. I learned that I was soothing myself with the AMOUNT of food and not the food itself. For me this was a huge piece of new information. Once the band was in place I was not able to eat the big portions I had once enjoyed and began to learn to feel satisfied with the small amount the band allowed. I was a clean your plate girl and it took a while for me to plate up only what the band would let me eat. Now I am feeling good and happy to know that I never really needed food to soothe myself. What I am trying to say is that don't go into this with a great deal of suppositions about yourself and your eating. You can learn it as you go forward. I would encourage you to have a shrink during this proccess. I have found mine to be so helpful as an addition to the band.

Hey there: What you are feeling is totally normal. In fact, i bet it is felt by most people who choose to go down this road. I am also from NYC and had surgery with the same practice. In fact, I totally freaked out the night before the surgery and thought about cancelling. But it was the best thing I ever did for my life. I was pre-diabetic, bad knees, low self body image and feeling like I would never make it, in life, for very long. One year later I have lost nearly 80 pounds, my bloods, my knees, my everything is better. I am feeling beautiful, in fact. I want to buy new clothes and have people comment on how I look. But most importantly, I love how I look/feel. And the really amazing part is that I am only part way. I am still more than 50 pounds to my goal but it feels like I will reach it and then who knows how I will feel. Has it been a lot of work? Sure. This is a tool to help you and not a miracle cure. But it worked for me and really, I worked for it. Go for it and follow what the office says to do (and there is some pretty good advice here too). You can be and feel different from today. Best of luck.

You should certainly call your Dr in the morning. I don't know how much water you drank or if you did it too fast but being sick to your stomach should not happen with just water. PB'ing is a result, often, of food just not moving or eating it too quickly. If all you had was water and you didn't drink too much of it or too quickly it might be a bug. It is always ok to check with your dr if you are concerned about something.

I agree that the Magic Bullet is the way to go. I have one at home and at my office and it saves so much work at cleaning time. A quick rinse and you are done. Plus it does a fine job of making the shakes and making mushies for those times.