Randi L

food is what got me here. How much I ate. How often I ate. The reasons I ate. Food shouldn't be the enemy. But it is for me. Food should sustain us, give us energy, give us strength. I ate whatever it is I will want - 10,000 times, and it never made me healthy. I ate whatever I wanted, all I wanted, 100,000 times, and it never made me happy. I guess living alone will make this easier - as I won't have to deal with other people's food, however, other people's food wasn't killing me. I was letting my food do that to myself. I know the band is a tool, I know the food is my coping tool, I'm hoping the band is a "power" tool. and will be stronger than the first bite. To go thru all of this, and to think I wouldn't still want all the food I love, would be silly. I'm always going to love food. I just want to learn to "like it".... and, to love me ...

I guess I just haven't figured out the threads thing - but, I'm banded!

Banded June 20th. Never got nervous, felt like it was the "calm before the storm" Hasn't rained a drop yet. I just walked my dog a little. Drinking everything. Going to rest, shower, and drink my Protein, drink my Water, and be an appreciative girl. Good luck to all the other June Banders, Pre and Post op..... randi l

Gosh I wish I had understood more about the pre-op diet. I don't think I was given clear enough information from my doctor. I'm a diabetic, and he didn't tell me all liquids. Will my liver let me be banded? With 2 days to go, the fear is mounting. Oh how I wish I had found this forum months ago. I'm doing all liquids tomorrow, however his instructions were to have a small Breakfast, small lunch, liquids for dinner, and nothing after midnite. They still haven't given me a time yet. ::my knees are shakin and my brain is weak:: (( keep saying "I'll be fine" )) It could be 5:30 am or 1:30 pm, without a sip of Water until. My family surprised me with a "farewell" dinner tonite. I walked in and they had ordered a ton of Sushi. My favorite. and everyone says "you can't eat ........ for how long" "I couldn't do it" "are you sure you want to go thru with this" "you're brave" "can't you just diet?" How sad not to be able to express how much I wish I could just "diet" and why don't they remember all the diet's I've been on? I'm getting a manicure/pedicure tomorrow. Taking it easy. Drinking as much water as I can. Meditating. Wishing. Hoping. Thinkin and Praying randi kinda askeered now.

I have Health Net too, and they approved me within a month! Your list of to do proves you can do this. I wish I had been more determined in the pre-op phase and lost more weight. Gee, what else is new. With all those issues, you are an obvious high achiever, with the ability to organize all your thoughts and express yourself beautifully! Congrats to you - and I hope this brings you JOY. randi to be: 06-20-06

Tricia, OMG - where the heck did you get the icons for that!!!!!!!!! How thoughtful you gals are on this subject ~ LOL

While the entire process sounds like "the cure"... are we ever truly ready for this? Ready to give up the beloved friend that food has been? Ready to leave the safety of the known, for all the unknown? Ready to do what we should have been doing all along? You know, I do understand that this is a "tool" - what we do with it is how we will shrink, and grow as human beings. I wish I was that person that figured out why I have this obsession, why it controls my thoughts, and allows me to feel so bad about myself, even tho I have many accomplishments to be proud of. I'm looking back at 30+ years of being "plump", "fat", "obese" and now "morbidly obese" - and it's been a long and terribly frustrating ride for me. I'm looking forward to the next, 20 ? years, of becoming healthy, not having to shoot insulin, not having high cholesterol, not being able to just sleep well, and having the opportunity of not embarrasing my grandchildren, as I'm sure I did my boys. I'm scared. I'm emotional. I'm thinking about the gas, and the pain, and all the things I'm going to HAVE to do, that I can't do by myself. )but I'm gonna do it!!!( ARGGGGGGGGGG - another Saturday Night. Happy Father's Day to all the Dads!! randi 06-20-06 I guess I really should figure out my signature, and add the icons, but for now, it's a lot that I'm typing! not allowing myself to feel lousier than I do at this moment.

SunnyDee - I know how you are feeling. My date is next Tuesday, and I've had the worst week, emotionally. While many of the days I am able to do liquids, a few of them included food. When I went for my pre-op I'd only lost 3 pounds. I was thinking like this "Dr told me to only do liquids, and I had 19 days to make a difference, and once again I failed, I always fail when it comes to food. Food is more important than most things, and it wins once again. I coulda, shoulda, woulda, but the food is screaming out .... EAT ME QUICK BEFORE YOUR BAND" I'm also having some teeth problems, and praying I come out of this without broken teeth. Oh you smart people, wise enough to do this is your 20's, 30's.... I can't remember anymore what I looked like at a normal weight, so I have no idea what to expect when the date is is June 20, 2007. My other fear is, I'll be alone after the procedure... I live alone. While I can ask family to come and help, they all have busy lives. Will I need help? I'm so thankful I will be able to work thru this, knowing you're all out there going thru it.

today is the first day of the rest of your life, That always seemed to be on a Friday for me. Monday was too common a day to use. It always seems like it's Friday for me. I want to look forward to Friday's - as a day of fun, a day of looking forward to a weekend. Congratulations to YOU!!! What a wonderful new day! randi *gettin banded on Tuesday ::knees shakin::

I hate my name. I've always hated my name. When someone says "Randi" they are still surprised I'm a she. The other question I always get is "what's it short for" .... it's just randi. I do agree tho, men have an easier time losing weight. I'm the mother of twins sons, 36 - was divorced when they were 2, raised them alone. They both now live in Texas - one is an architect with a 3 year old boy ... and the other is a computer network guy with a 1 year old daughter and a son due in September. I'm an antique dealer in Carlsbad, Ca. I've also been an event producer for 20+ years. Had my pre-surgery consult today. Am I afraid? Missing the thought of food? Wondering about how the surgery will go? If this is my answer? Of course I am. After all these years of wanting an answer, do I hope this is it? Yes, I really do. I'm also so thankful I found this Forum. I've learned more here than in all the other reading and research I've done..... I'll try to figure out the signature, etc - this weekend. ::Deep sigh:: My last weekend unbanded.

1)" if I overeat, I throw it up - pb or whatever - but its not a big deal, its like a productive burp - the last bite comes out. " SOMEONE - PLEASE tell me what a PB is, what SLIMING is. I have no idea! randi being banded on the 20th

"I then noticed it in the way people acted towards me, people seemed more patient and then I noticed it at work, I am a lawyer and now I see that the "skinny" lawyers get more clients. I am not sure if its because clients have more confidence in thinner people or because I am more confident in myself. " In my 20's, I was working at NBC, trying to be a producer. I remember having a meeting with this one top guy - and he said to another person, "NO ONE takes you seriously when you're fat". I cringed at the time for that other person, and it's stayed with me for 30 years. In the work I do, I'm in front of people all the time, speaking, and I've always remembered what he said - and always felt that no one could possibly be taking me seriously - evern tho, I know they did. Thanks for that thread, and for the encouragement! Randi I get my band of the 20th.

BOY - do I hear all that!!!! That is EXACTLY how I feel! <surgery is still on tuesday, the 20th>

Ok, I've read the term PB many times, what is it? and for Heavens sake - what is sliming? I doubt anyone is really ready, unafraid, this isn't like starting WW, or Jenny Craig. This is more serious, and "the last try". <for me anyway>

THANK YOU SO MUCH for the website info!!!!!! What a great informative way to learn about adjustments. It makes me realize how much I DON"T know about all this.... this site is so appreciated. There are just so many things coming at me - it's scary! With 8 days to go, I'm just now learning what I need to know. I wish I had known about LBT months ago.

I sure understand how you feel. How do you know who to trust? So few people I've been in support group with have had the band compared to gastric - how do you get the right help? There is a place in Richardson Texas - that I found while looking on the internet. My sons live in Frisco, and Prosper so I thought I could recoup with them - but my insurance accepted it <finally> , so I'm having it done in Orange County, Ca - an hour away from where I live in Ocean Hills. I found this site last night, and I can't read enough fast enough to find out answers to things I've been wondering about for months! Good luck with your search! I was in Dallas a few weeks ago, it's sure hot...

I recently took my 18 year old niece to ride the Ferry from Newport to Balboa. What memories I have of it in the 50's when I was "small" and the family would go there to sail. The ferris wheel si still there - but it looks so small now, the bumper cars, etc but my most important memory? The chocolate dipped banana's with chocolate sprinkles. Of course I had to have one, and she loved hers too as we walked around. Most of my memories are tied to a food. (sad) Anyway, with regard to any eulogy, it's best to have a few notes, and then speak from the heart. I've been a public speaker for many years, and always felt the preparation was important, but the heart says it all. Living an unusual life is way easier to remember than one of being alone, with no one to remember. Rest in Peace. It was a gift - to ask you to do it.

What a GREAT LIST! My banding is on the 20th of this month. I'm afraid and excited and so thankful that I found the Lap Band Talk Forum.

Hello Friend! I'm getting my done on the 20th. Thank God I found this site - as I hadn't heard enough or read enough about the "after" parts of this process. Some of the posts scare me, and some of the things about the procedure itself scare me... but I'm more afraid to live this way for the rest of this life. Mr Doctor is Milt Owens in San Pedro, Ca. Because of this site, I purchased a medical alert bracelet - a very great suggestion. I've also been reading all the posts for most of last night and much of today - and it's GREAT to know there are so many other people - in my situation, and about to be banded, like me. I'd welcome the email - and I wish you the greatest recovery and JOY in this life!!!

I'm new, won't be banded until the 20th of this month. I've learned so much from this site - appreciate all the comments. However, I seem to read more about problems, and no weight loss so much of the time, that makes me afraid. ACK! I love the interaction - done with love and respect, and will keep reading as much as I can.

Here I am, a week before my procedure, and I feel like I don't know anything about what happens after I leave the hospital. I wish I had found this site earlier, and plan to read as much as I can for the next week. I'm not sure of my starting weight - 270 or so. I've been this weight for so long, my closet is full of this size. (24-26) While I can't wait to experience the scale moving down, it scares me as well. I am praying I will find out more information about after care - after reading some of your posts, I find myself ignorant about fills, and fluids, and feelings. The reason I'm doing this is simple - I don't want to spend another day, week, month, year like this. Feeling this way. Yet, I am afraid of missing food - of the comfort it does bring. It controls me, and has for too many years, and I've grown too close to it, instead of developing relationships, working on me, feeling good about me. As an Event Producer, with a lot of time spent on Weddings, I always see what that whole "beautiful bride" thing is, and never felt I deserved to be one. My procedure is booked, I've gone to the nutritionist, the psychologist, and the surgeon. This week I'll be going to the hospital to review other things. I hope I will have a lot of questions to ask, and be able to dull my fears about all this. I want to feel Joy. I pray for some Joy. I expect some pain, some frustration, some concern, some problems. What I hope for - is Joy.

Here I am, a week before my procedure, and I feel like I don't know anything about what happens after I leave the hospital. I wish I had found this site earlier, and plan to read as much as I can for the next week. I'm not sure of my starting weight - 270 or so. I've been this weight for so long, my closet is full of this size. (24-26) While I can't wait to experience the scale moving down, it scares me as well. I am praying I will find out more information about after care - after reading some of your posts, I find myself ignorant about fills, and fluids, and feelings. The reason I'm doing this is simple - I don't want to spend another day, week, month, year like this. Feeling this way. Yet, I am afraid of missing food - of the comfort it does bring. It controls me, and has for too many years, and I've grown too close to it, instead of developing relationships, working on me, feeling good about me. As an Event Producer, with a lot of time spent on Weddings, I always see what that whole "beautiful bride" thing is, and never felt I deserved to be one. My procedure is booked, I've gone to the nutritionist, the psychologist, and the surgeon. This week I'll be going to the hospital to review other things. I hope I will have a lot of questions to ask, and be able to dull my fears about all this. I want to feel Joy. I pray for some Joy. I expect some pain, some frustration, some concern, some problems. What I hope for - is Joy.

I've been avoiding my reality. I will have the band done on June 20th, and this is my first time reading the comments. I don't know why I decided to click on your history - but I'm glad I did. When I go to group, most of them have had gastric, no bands, so I haven't been able to get any real comments on it. Yours scare me... When I read how happy you were, I was so happy for you - then your world caved in. Scary. I'm not a terribly lucky person, and while I pray for no complications, I'm not sure how to avoid them. It makes me realize I'm not ready for this. I know it's a tool, but I don't feel like I know yet, how to use it. Thank you for your journal. I think it turned a lightbulb on for me.