Leila

warmmorningsun - yay! Triumph over the M&M's!!!!!! way to go!

I'll go for both please :huggie: As for the challenge, the area I have the hardest time in is exercise. I bought a pedometer, so I could try to count steps, but haven't been using it.. grrr. Because of the heat and stuff, I'm mostly swimming, but not regularly, I wanted to do 30 minutes of kicking in the pool (Since I'm camping at campsites with little pools packed full of kiddies laps are out, I just hang on to the side and kick like mad) every day, but its more like every 3rd day. So exercise might be a good one for me, I have no idea if it will help motivate me or not.

Depends what said challenge entails.. probably! :tea:

My Dr.'s guidelines say to stay under 1cup - which is 8 fluid ounces, per meal. What the Inamed booklet says: "...pouch that can hold only about half a cup (3 to 4 ounces) if food. If you routinely eat too much, the small stomach pouch may stretch. That will cancel the effect of the operation... You need to learn how much your stomach pouch can hold comfortably and then not exceed this amount...Once your stomach is full, your body receives a signal that you have eaten enough. It takes time, though, for you to become aware of this signal. If you rush through your meal, you may eat more than you need. This can lead to nausea and vomiting. Take time to eat your meal. Try to recognize the feeling of fulness - then stop eating at once." So if you have restriction, and you over-fill your pouch, you may stretch it, if you eat too much too quickly. The key is to eat very slowly, so you have a chance to feel that signal - and stop as soon as you feel full. My Dr. recommends you take half an hour to eat your meal, that's a long time for under a cup! However, if you do not have restriction, and food is just moving from the pouch to the lower part of the stomach, you can eat a lot more without stretching your pouch. Also keep in mind that only solid food will stay in the pouch, the softer, the mushier, the more liquid the food is, the faster it will empty out meaning you can eat more. Also if you drink with food it will wash it through too. Some Dr.'s, believe carbonated beverages should be avoided, some believe it is because the carbonation causes excess gas, which bandsters are prone to anyways, and some believe it may stretch the pouch. Bottom line, eat as solid foods as you can handle, measure out less than a cup for each meal on your plate, no fluids with meals, eat super slowly chewing really well, When it's done, make sure that from the time you've started eating that you wait at least half an hour before having a second helping and only if you still feel hungry. If you follow those guidelines you shouldn't be able to stretch your pouch.

Well, I'm not a long time bandster, just banded in June, but my understanding is that the chemical receptors in the stomach that send the message to your brain that you are full, are most plentiful at the top of your stomach. When you have restriction, food sitting in the pouch triggers those receptors that sends out that message that you are full. Since it takes a while for the pouch to empty with proper restriction, it keeps sending out that message. There may be more to it than that, and I'm sure it's a simplified view, so if someone has more info, I'm eager to hear it too! As far as how long it lasts, I believe it lasts for as long as you have proper restriction. I know that you can lose restriction over time as you lose weight because you lose fat tissue that is between the band and the stomach, so as you slim down, you can loosen, so once you start feeling hunger again, and eating too much, and not losing weight, you need to get another fill/adjustment to bring you back up to that level where you are satisfied. That being said, even though that's the theory, it seems some people have very varied experiences. Then there is the whole issue of 'head hunger' as well. Which can always be present, or can come and go. XO Leila

Check out these forums for loads of info - Lap-Band FAQs and References It's the last forum listed in the main section of forums. There is a thread that explains lots of abbreviations and terms, as well as other great stuff. and welcome! XO Leila

It sounds to me like you need a fill too. I would fill to the point where you have normal restriction for the second half of the day. A lot of people are tight in the morning and end up having to do liquids for Breakfast. I think as long as you can get liquids down the first part of the day, and then eat normal small meals and Snacks in the second half of the day and feel full and satisfied, it should be good. As far as the golf-ball with the first few bites, the first bite syndrome thing, all I can suggest is trying to slow down even more with really tiny bites, and lots and lots of chewing. In the meantime do your best to eat like a bandster, and don't be too hard on yourself. You may not have lost as much as some, but you're losing more than others, some people are gaining! It's still really new to all of us, and it's going to take time and patience to work it out individually. Some days I wish it were a miracle cure, but I know it's not. XO Leila

C 263.5 (-31.5, -2.5 this week) :lost2.5lbs:Happy Dance! :bowl::tea:

FunnyDuddies - I agree this is definitely not a controlled enough environment. And our poll is likely inaccurate. One just wonders in which ways it's innaccurate, and what people are more likely to represent in a forum such as this. I think it very unlikely that people would not answer the poll anonymously, but then post that they have cheated, or both have cheated. I do think in general people are more likely to present a positive relationship scenario in a post, with pride, in this environment than they are to present a cheating one. I think the people who have come out in the posts and talked about cheating in their lives have shown an unusual level of courage and open-ness. So in general, I think I'm somewhat inclined to think that our poll under-represents the actual level of cheating going on. But that, is just a guess and gut feeling at best. No way to know for sure. Stuff like this fascinates the heck out of me! LOL!

So this poll shows so far that around 44% of people have either cheated or been cheated on. Things I wonder about / food for thought. If statistics say 80% of men cheat, 60% of women cheat. Would our statistics be different if we had an options in the poll for - - Both me and my spouse have cheated. - No cheating in my current marriage but I have been cheated on in past relationships. - No cheating in my current marriage but I have cheated in past relationships. - No cheating in my current marriage but in previous relationships I have been cheated on, and I have cheated. - I don't know that I've been cheated on, but I highly suspect that I may have in my current marriage. -I don't know that I've been cheated on, but highly suspect I have been cheated on in the past. The other thing I find interesting in is the study I heard, they say the people who know/suspect they've been cheated on is only 30% of women and 10% of men. In our poll 25% of people say they know they have been cheated on. (Not just suspected but know) - which would actually be a higher representation than the study numbers. In this area of the study. Things that make you go hmmmmmm. Again, I have no idea how accurate that info is. Though it seems a lot of people here have heard the 80% of men cheat thing as well.

My favorite snack foods lately have been berries. 1 full cup of blueberries - 80 cals. 1 full cup of raspberries - 60 cals! 1 full cup of strawberries - 45 cals!!! Hell eat all three for 185 cals! Loads of fibre, and some people argue they are actually 'negative' calorie foods meaning they take more body energy through digestion than the calories they contain! It's fresh berry season - Indulge!

Well some statistics from anonymous polls have indicated that 80% of men have cheated on a common law or married spouse, and 60% of women have. Also that only about 30% of women know or suspect they've been cheated on, and 10% of men. Who knows how accurate it is or not. It's something I heard about 5 years ago, and can't for the life of me even remember the reference - so couldn't say how reliable the source was, though the numbers have stuck with me.

NancyRN There is such a thread indeed - http://lapbandtalk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=73 - it's the 4th sticky down in this helpful area.

I found it helpful and insightful. Thankyou.

I find it unlikely that it would be a deal breaker. I have severe major depression which is only partly managed with medication, I am on disability, unable to work, and am limited by my depression. I was told by my surgeon that it is common for people with depression to be obese, and for obese people to have depression. Since being a part of these forums, I've discovered many lap-banders with depression, many with bi-polar depression. Best of luck in your journey. XO Leila

Mommy0105 - My lap band doctor does band surgery as day surgery, no overnight, and no flouro evaluation, it's quite common.

I totally agree with you, I think it's about what the adults involved agree on in their relationship, if the understanding is that pornography use is not acceptable behavior by the couple, then that should be honoured. The hard part is when the individuals in the marriage hold different beliefs on what is okay and what isn't. That's when people get into trouble.

The fill went well, he put another .5cc's in there, and the water at the office went down sooooo easy, I asked for a second cup! (might as well get it in when I can!!!) I'll be eating super soft food for dinner tonight to take it easy on the band. My Dr. recommends soft foods rather than liquids for the day of the fill. So it's refried beans with some salsa and fat free sour cream for me. Hope it goes down okay. Cindy - sorry to hear you had a hard time with the tomato, was there a lot of skin? I tried to eat some cherry tomatoes and then decided to spit the skin out because I couldn't chew it enough to break it down well and was worried it might get stuck. Pinkylee - thank you, the water is easy for me, it's hot and I'm drinking loads. I even take a bottle of water to bed with me and drink in the night! Dancing queen - I've been in the same boat, have been losing just under 2 lbs a week, I think it's like 1.8 or something, I've been able to eat everything no problem, no restriction. but limit myself to 1200 calories a day, and I swim for half an hour a day. I had a first fill a week ago, and had some restriction for the first two days, then totally unrestricted again, just got my second one today. I'm hoping for restriction. Even though I've been losing weight without it, I want it! I know my willpower can only hold out so long, and I don't want to be dieting. Do you think you're going to go for a fill, or hold out until you stop losing on your own? PAB - 2 fills now, haven't noticed the port popping out thing at all, but then my port is really deep, the Dr. can't feel where it is with palpitating the area, even after he arches my back with a pillow, when he went in with the needle though he says it's just where it should be directly under a little round scar he has where one of the port stitches gets anchored. I haven't been able to feel it all either. warmmorningsun - I think it's great that your Dr. wants to wait till he's around in case you need follow up care. Carefull with those M&M's and remember even with restriction, chocolate and ice cream go down! If it melts in your mouth, it's liquid through band, and if you can drink water, you can probably eat chocolate and ice cream. I've just stopped buying it. Hard to do. Moderation is the key, a few won't hurt, problem is I can't do moderation! LOL. XO Leila

It means different things to different people. I'll give a fair bit of detail, since I've been asked many questions in the past, I'll answer some of the questions I'm most commonly asked in my description. In our case, we've been together since 1992, married in 95. When we met we were open with one another about our sexuality, we're both bisexual, and we knew monogamy was not for us. That being said neither of us is very promiscuous either. I'm the type of person that falls in love easily, loves being in love, and enjoys intimacy. For a lot of people an open marriage is the swinging lifestyle, and that's great for them, I respect peoples lifestyle choices whatever they are, but in our case swinging doesn't work, as neither of us is interested sexually in people we don't have love and deep intimacy with. I can't get into casual sex, I need to deeply care about someone for it to be enjoyable for me. My husband feels the same, I guess it's lucky we met one another, as our lifestyle needs are compatible. Having an open marriage for us is less about sex, and more about relationships. Over the last 14 years while we've been together, we've dated a couple of couples, together, where both members of the couple were bisexual. We've dated a single bisexual male. We've dated a bisexual female. Those are relationships we had together. Seperately, I've dated a gay female, and a straight male, and he's had two relationships with straight women. So I guess during the last 14 years with my husband we've each had relationships with 6 other people, 4 we shared in common, 2 each seperately. The shortest lasted a couple of months, The longest a few years. In all these relationships whether we were both intimate with the people involved or only one of us. We've all been very close friends, shared love, and been like extended family. Most of these people are still close friends to this day. I think I'm closest to my husbands last x-girlfriend who was straight, even though I did not have a sexual relationship with her, we were best of friends, more like sisters than anything. Travelling for the last 3 months, I chat with her online almost every day. Hubby is still friends with her two, but since they're intimate relationship ended I think I'm probably closer with her that he is. I'm not a jealous person at all, never have been. I know my husband will never cheat or lie to me, because he has no reason to. Everything is out in the open, I know the day he is first attracted to someone, because he'll tell me, and wants to know if I find him/her interesting too. Neither of us feels that we 'need' to have other relationships or lovers, or that we're lacking something in our relationship that makes us want something outside of it. We could both be happy with just one another for the rest of our lives. It's a preference, a choice. If anything, sometimes we feel we have too much love in our relationship for just the two of us, why not make it a bigger circle of love. I know it's a hard concept to wrap your head around, not conventional at all, but it works for us. Just like a parent can have platonic love for more than one child. An adult can have non-platonic love for more than one adult. Just because you love more than one child in your family does not mean you love any of them less. Sharing love between adults works the same for us, I don't love my husband less because I also love someone else. Actually, I find just like in big families, in multiple relationships, it just amplifies the love already there. Though yes, it can be complicated at times! Also a lot of people think maybe it has something to do with being bisexual, that you need to have both genders as partners. It's not that way either. I don't care what kind of plumbing a person comes with, I fall in love with the person, not their physical parts. It could have ended up I've only ever fallen in love with just men, or just women, happens I fall in love and am attracted to both. Also I've always respected other peoples lifestyle choices, even when they haven't. I once developed feelings for a man that was married, he didn't tell me he was married until after we grew close, emotionally, there had been no intimacy or physical contact, just flirting and friendship. He told me he was in an unsatisfactory marriage and wanted to see someone, and thought I would understand because I was married. I refused him flat, I believe in the sanctity of whatever arrangment people have with their spouses. He was in a monogamous relationship wanting to cheat, I am not in a monogamous relationship. I wasn't willing to do that to his wife, or to him for that matter. I believe in honesty, and respecting your commitments, whatever they may be. Happy to answer questions.. LOL! XO Leila

barb - congratulations on the water! I just called my surgeon, and they can get me in this afternoon for another fill. I'm so glad. I'll keep you posted on how it goes. XO Leila

My opinion, being a Dr. doesn't necessarily mean that they are going to have the best information for you anyways. It may make it more likely, but regardless, even between Dr.'s there are differing opinions on things. They may have expert experience and education in a certain area, but it doesn't make them infaliable. That's why second opinions even between Dr.'s are often valuable. I trust my surgeon, and value his opinion, and based on the research I've done, and what other Dr.'s say, I feel he's right on the money in terms of being in alignment with my own perspectives and choices around the band - it's why I chose him as a surgeon over someone else. Another surgeon may give totally contrasting advice than his. Whose do I follow? Well, I usually research and research some more, and make a decision as to what I think is best for my own health care, most of the time it's in alignment with my surgeons preferences. I have an MA in counselling psychology, with certification in addiction and drug and alcohol. I did my practicum and focus on women and violence, amoung other specialty areas that have interested me. Does that mean I expect people to feel my advice on these areas is the best to follow? Hell no! I have opinions, and they are based on my own studies and experience, but there are professionals in the same field as me that will have very different opinions than me on the same issues. When topics come up in forums that are related to my education and experience, I usually get involved with them because obviously it's an area I'm interested in and passionate about, that said, I wouldn't expect that people would use it as professional/medical advice. I can't do that over a forum, I don't expect my opinions or ideas to carry more or less weight than anyone elses. I have met not so wise Dr.'s whose opinions I haven't respected, and I've met some very intelligent very wise people who didn't graduate high school whose opinions I respect deeply. Take credentials with a grain of salt, and rather than take the advice of one educated individual, educate yourself - the research and information is out there and accessable to anyone willing to look for it. It's no longer just in medical libraries, the internet is a great tool if you use it well. Just my 2 cents. XO Leila

Dody I definitely think less weight on your knee joints should help in the future. Extra weight is a big stress on the joints. Hopefully it will get better for you from here on out

BeacheeGirl, I am so glad that you found the courage to make an appointment with a therapist! Things don't happen instantly, it's a step in a journey. It's going to take some time to get things sorted out with you. Just keep doing the best you can. I think you're doing awesome. Just keep taking it a day at a time, an hour at a time, a minute at a time, whatever you need to do. Try to ride your mood shifts as best you can. When you're in a good space, try to plan what you can do when you start to cycle up or down. Keeping busy sounds like a good plan for one. If you do something you regret, it's done, you can't undo it, just carry on trying to do the best you can in the present moment. I really do think you are on the right track. Community is good, feeling you have a place in the world you belong is so precious. I don't know about white men being more boring than black men. I've dated both, and I've dated a couple of asian women as well Lets just say I don't discriminate in a few different ways. But one place I do think white is boring and black is not, is church! Now that may seem weird since I mentioned earlier I don't believe in God and I'm not religious. So I'll explain. Even though I'm Canadian, when I was a little girl, our family travelled for a few years. We drove down to Mexico and lived there for a couple of years, and on our way back to Canada, we stopped in North Carolina, and ended up living there for a year. Well, my mother got a job in a chocolate factory, and what they used to do back them on the factory line was alternate workers black white black white - because they felt that if they had people of the same color together they would chat more and work less. Well, my mother chatted with her black coworkers, since they were the women next to her and befriended them. At lunch breaks she sat with the people she knew, the women that worked on either side of her on the line. In the cafeteria it was pretty much divided down color lines, so she stood out hanging out with her black coworkers, but she didn't mind, they were the people she knew and liked. She's French, and my dad is Danish, in origin, and they've always had friends from all different ethnic backgrounds. Anyways, they convinced her that she should come to church and bring the family, my mother explained she wasn't religious and wasn't Christian, and they said to come anyways, that our family was welcome and we'd enjoy it. Well she brought us, and we went, and we kept going, none of us got religion, but we loved the music/singing, and the passion and the warmth! So I have to say, since I've gone to predominantly white church with friends before too, that there is a world of difference there. The black church was definitely -not- borning. My experiences with black culture are limited, the area of Canada I come from, on the West Coast doesn't have a large black community. As an adult when I vacationed in Chicago just a few years ago with my husband, we were told by the hostel we were staying in to avoid an area of town that was predominantly black. Well, we had seen online that there were a couple of blues bars, and a comedy club that were in that area. It was just a few blocks from where we were staying. We love blues, and wanted to go. Other than one or two other people, we were the only white people in the clubs, we were totally made welcome. I'm glad we didn't listen to the caution of the hostel not to go. My husband doesn't like to dance, but I was upfront and center in front of the band dancing on my own the whole night long, we went back almost every night, and stayed till closing. The comedy club, we checked out also, we were the -only- white people in there, and it was a BIG club, again we were made totally welcome. The MC turned and looked at us at the beginning of the show, and said - "Let me guess, you're not from around here?" we laughed with everyone else, the next thing out of his mouth was "Canadian?" we all laughed some more. We never felt people were laughing at us, just with us, he welcomed us warmly, and the people at the table next to us reached out and patted our backs. Some how I wonder if a predominantly white club in a predominantly white area would be as warm and welcoming to a black couple? I don't know, all I know is when I meet good people, I know it. XO Leila

Pinkylee - I'm so glad you mentioned the b complex sublingual from walmart. I take b-12 sublingual strips, but they are a little pricey and I'm almost out. I'll be heading to walmart today to see if my local one carries the liquid that you bought. I've found supplementing has definitely been helping my energy level. Especially the b vitamins.

My fill has dissapeared, gone, blammo, nada restriction, nothing. I guess I'm scheduling a second fill. How do I know I don't have restriction.. ask the bag of cherries that just dissapeared, you can't eat 30 cherries after a cup of Tabouli salad if you have restriction. pthhh Calling tommorow to make the appointment. and get poked again. Oh well, waters going good anyways. I'm still managing to keep the calories under control, but it's still mostly all willpower, and by eating large volumes of really low cal foods and lots of water to fill me up, and I know from experience, that my willpower will run out! I want restriction before I lose control. Randi - it's a bit frustrating isn't it! I read your post and I think, hmmm, beans went down fine with you yesterday, but not today, what if I wake up the day after I schedule my fill with restriction again? socalgal3 - It sounds like you are overfilled, maybe call and talk to your surgeon and see what he thinks? You need to be able to eat solids. I hope it resolves itself! What to do, what to do!? XO Leila