lisah25

Woo-hoo, that is cool! I lost about 10 in two weeks, and started thinking maybe I could do it without the band. Then I hit 3 day stall and began to doubt that I could even with the band. Gee, mood swings anyone!? :tea:

I thought a bit about going to Mexico, and chose not to. For me, it was a combination of living in the Northern US, near Seattle. So it was a bit of a trip there and back, but more important I didn't like the idea of being that far from my surgeon. I wanted to be close to the practice for follow-up care and support, and the one I chose for a lot of reasons is about a 15 min drive from my house. I can go to the monthly support groups, my fills for a year are covered with the inital fee, and I can call or stop in with questions. Yes, I probably could have arranged that even if I got the surgery in Mexico, but this just feels better to me.

I'm jealous - I have a few more then 9 days! So, yes, I am getting VERY impatient. I'm doing a low-carb diet, eating lean protein. My goal is to lose enough by two weeks before that I won't have to do the full-in liquid diet after that. Mixed results.

LOL-I didn't, but only because he banded my DH and I knew him. But I can understand, it's something we all want, and the surgeon has the power to grant it or not.

It would have been more accurate for me. I did cheat on a long-term relationship when I was in my early twenties. I got caught red-handed so to speak, and the pain I say on his face was terrible. So, I would be in that stat, but I also have never cheated on my husband(different guy) and I've never even been tempted to.

My surgeon and his partner between them have done around 1600 band procedures, and they do it as outpatient for most of their patients. Home the same day.

Wow - that is deep, in a very good way.

I don't think it's a bad example at all! I think it shows that we are all different, and that the key is knowing ourselves and our partners. The friends I mentioned a post or so back are a good example of this. He's told us that he thinks love/marriage is seperate from sex. That his sleeping around has nothing to do with how he feels about his family. But his wife doesn't agree, and he's never told her that is how he feels. Of course, I don't buy it anyway. I think he's making excuses...

I've had a lot of the same feelings. There are people starving and I'm paying $17,000 of our money because I can't loose weight on my own. I don't really have much advice to offer, just wanted to let you know you're not the only one feeling this way.

Hi Lizziegrace, yep I think it comes down to knowing what we do and don't accept, and talking to our partners about it. I like sharing a sexy movie with DH, but if he were in a room alone all the time with one, or the computer, and ignoring me that would be a problem. I do have a friend who gets Playboy for her husband, but he has a history of cheating and she's trying to create an open environment so he "doesn't have to". She's missing the point, IMHO, because for him, part of the thrill is doing something behind her back.

First off, even though I was one with an opinion about what you posted, I don't hold anything against you at all. I also think we all need to know what works for us, and do it. So if what you are doing is working, good. Of course, I have one more comment! :confused: I have to say I don't think porn in and of itself is the problem. I think when it's done in shame and secrecy by someone who believes it's wrong, then yes, it's a problem. But when used by a couple to spice things up, I don't see anything wrong with that.

Check out this thread, it helped me! http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=16218&highlight=ticker

I personally don't believe that a spouse can "drive" another to cheat. Don't buy it. If there are problems in the marriage, work on it. If it can't be worked out, figure that out, end it and THEN move on. I HATE when the guilty party tries to make the other one feel like they caused it!:angry I'm sorry he did that to you.

You hit on a feeling that was in the back of my mind. That being how it would feel to be the spouse being so checked up on. I think I would resent it and it would erode the relationship. As for living a life were I am constantly checking up on my spouse, that doesn't sound much better.

I too don't mean to minimize the pain. But I think sometimes ya just have to laugh, and I loved your post.

It doesn't sound like she's oblivious, it sounds like she is either a)deeply in denial or b)fully aware and dealing with it or not in her own way.

I saw the same report. I'd be very interested in know about complications and all more then 30 days out.

OMG! That is horrible. We had a friend whose hubby left her roses for Valentines day one year, along with a note telling her he was leaving her for another woman. I agree, the women I've talked to about their spouses cheating all knew on some level.

The woman is a skank! It's hard to be nice to the woman he was cheating with, isn't it? I tried.

Well, admitting you have a problem is the first step. Take this quiz: -do you ever sneak clothes into the closet and later, if he asks if something is new, you say "no, I've had it for a while". -do you know more about your UPS man then any of your neighbors? -do you have purchases sent to work or a friends house? -do you shop alone, in a darkened room? -do you tell yourself you can quit anytime, well after the Denim and Co. special this weekend? Never mind how I know what questions to ask....:guess

I knew water was good for your skin, wasn't sure why. I've always drunk a lot of water, and I've pretty much always had good skin.

From what I've read, heard and lived, one partner making changes like getting banded and losing weight can have a dramatic effect on the dynamics of the marriage. So it seems appropriate. Since it's gotten a lot of responses, I have to think it was interesting to a lot of us.

That's very cool - good for you guys. I think it all comes down to what works for a given couple. I can't help getting turned on by a good looking guy, and I do flirt a little. But never much, and DH is usually around when I do. It goes no further, and we all know it.

I agree with you - both points. I think fantasies are one thing, I don't consider that cheating. I also agree about the emotional vs. physical. I too have told my spouse that a very involved emotional/romantic relationship on his part with someone else, even with no sex involved, would hurt more then a drunken one-night stand. Not that it would be OK, but just not as much a betrayal somehow. We define cheating as something we would hide from each other, or lie about doing.

I have some issues around this, because my dad cheated on my mom, and my 1/2 brother and 1/2 sister are living proof of it. So, how do I know for sure? I don't really. What I base my statement that he hasn't cheated on me on is that he's never given me any reason at all to doubt him. He's never been missing time, that is I've never had times where I didn't know where he was or what he was doing, and I've never caught him lying about such things. We talk about everything under the sun. I feel like I know him and trust him totally. Someday, I may be proven wrong, but until then I'm continueing with that.