Tired_Old_Man

In most cases men have no ability to decide who turns them on. When you feel something growing between you legs, you know. Women that I am close to have told me about a tingling sensation when they see “Mr. (physically) Right”. Of course as thinking animals we should be able to overlook the sensations and deal with the personality rather than the looks, but many times we never get to talk to the one we are not attracted to. I always tell the story of my first meeting with my wife (over 42 years ago). It was love at first sight. I walked into a friends party and my wife was dancing next to a her best friend. I took one look at my wife's best friend and I was enamored. I started renting an apartment from my wife's parents and broke my angle the first day after I moved in so for the next few weeks, I kept giving my wife messages to give to her friend who I had gotten to know at the party. After a while, my wife and I became friends, then a couple. The other girl? Haven't seen her in 40 years, though her sister is my son's Godmother. The funny part about it was my wife was being chased by dozens of guys, she was even a model for a while. I could see she was beautiful, but then other girl made my head spin. The exception to the rule seems to be Black men. I have a lot of Black friends and I went to a wedding recently between a mid-40's, 5'9”, 150 pound man and a late 30's 5'6”, 400 pound women. All sizes are guesstimates. I know the man for many years and he has previously dated women in the same weight class. When I was working and we had union picnics, a lot of the white guys were meeting in clusters the next day at work to discuss the sizes of the dates and wives of many of our Black coworkers. “Did you see the size of the elephant that Jones brought to the picnic?” Or, “did the see the whale that Barny is married to?” The Black guys if they were ashamed could have skipped the picnic, but they were not. Many of these Black men were young and the women were fat when they were married. Many of the Black men I worked with would bring in family pictures to show the other guys. They habitually contained photos of normal to slim men with huge women. Even if the coworker's wife was slim, his brother or friends in the pictures would invariably be with huge women. White guys would never bring in pictures like that.

I think you missed my point. I was everything they wanted, except for looks, so they never gave me a chance. They would constantly pick guys who mistreated them and gave them heartache, but were "so cute". One girl who I hung out with for quite a while (at least 6 or 7 boyfriends) would tell me, "Oh TOM, I met this wonderful guy last night" and then go on to tell me, blow by blow what they said and did. After she was finished talking I would say, "I don't like him because..." and give her good reasons. She would say, "You are wrong this time...". But 6 weeks or 3 months later, I would be wiping the tears from her eyes. I would hear, "why can't I find a guy like you...?" Each guy she would meet was a model for this fashion magazine or had done TV commercials, some were personal trainers, all were fine physical specimens, looking to put another notch on their bedpost. We live in a society where looks are paramount. People (both male and female) brag about how good their dating or mating partners look. I see no difference. My female friends always said they knew which guy they wanted as soon as they walked into the room. The major difference IMHO, between men and women is that men allow their hormones to point them at the choice woman in the room, but only to mate (though not with conception on their conscience mind). After sex, they want the next fine looking one. Men needn't care what stupid things come out of a women's mouth, they just want to put something in. No matter how stupid a women might be, if she is great looking, she will have a hard time chasing the man away with stupid conversation. Women do the same thing except they want a long term relationship with "Prince Charming". Women, therefor will not allow too much stupidity from an air-headed "dream-boat". She will make excuses for awhile and rationalize his dumb moves, but after a few weeks, she will move on to someone who can think. But the result was the same in both cases. Wasn't it? :faint: I better stop now. Too much honesty is hard on you women.

Just because I am Paranoid doesn't mean that they are not out to get me. I have not seen this topic broached previously, so I thought I would bring it up. As a favor for all those who have me on their ignore list, I hope that the rest of the members will please feel free to quote me in your replies. :girl_hug: The Topic is Shredding. Everyday I get mail. Most of it is either bills, statements (credit card, bank accounts, etc.), renewals for insurance (car, life, medical, etc.) or sometimes magazines. A lot of the other mail is catalogs, offers, and junk. Many of us own shredders. Many of us shred statements and renewals. I shred everything with my name, address, phone number or account number on it. Many times the envelope is the kind with the glassine window where the address shows through, but sometimes the post office puts a bar-code under the window. It the envelope has a bar-code, it goes through the shredder. If there is a label on the magazine, the page or at least the part of the page with the address label goes through the shredder. Many people own shredders that cut the paper into long diagonal strips. For less than $10 more, I bought a shredder that cuts diagonally twice, so that the result is confetti. Am I paranoid? Maybe! But it is a precaution worth taking IMHO. Oh!! I forgot to mention my favorite shredding material. Convenience Checks drawn against my credit card account.

I am married for 39 years and when I met my wife she was 18 years old, 5'4" & 118 pounds and if she hadn't been a 38DD, she might have been 112 pounds. We dated, broke up got back together, broke up (I could copy and paste ad nausea, but I won't) and got married. Things were tough at the beginning and for the first 15 years, we were on the verge, but we grew, both inwardly and outwardly. Me to 327 and her to 180. I am now in the 250 bracket and she is in the 150 bracket. I never loved her any less at 180, not more at 118. She is my women and I would like to say, "no one could tempt me" but I will be honest and say, "I think I could resist Ms. Roberts, Angelina Jolie or a host of other movie stars". You are 100% wrong. Men lie to women about sex and their desires. Women lie to men, women and most importantly themselves. Women have to get themselves drunk so they have have an excuse for their failings (or conquests in a man's eyes). I hung out with women for many years because I never got along well with men. The women would always ask my advice about their prospective boyfriends and current boyfriends. I was like the gay guy that a lot of women hang out with, except... They would always say, “Oh, I wish I could meet a guy like you, who I can talk to, share secrets with, who can dance, take me for motorcycle rides, knows how to treat a women, etc., etc...” But there I was, but I was not the “Prince Charming” with movie star looks or Schwarzenegger abs. No, women are just as shallow as men, maybe more so. When I was freshman in college, I fell in love over the phone. I had a radio show on the campus radio station. I took phone requests and dedications. I started getting calls from this girl who would not tell me who she was. After 7 weeks, I tracked her down and we finally went out. She wore clothes to hide her fantastic shape, but it didn't matter to me what she looked like. She was a junior, 3 years older than me. We dated my freshman year and half my sophomore at which point I left school. I came back after a year and she had graduated. We lived in different states and went our own way, but about 5 years ago, we started corresponding again. She is now a 64 year old grandmother and my wife would have more to worry about in her than about Julia or Angelina, that is if she had to worry at all. We now are all friends. Her new husband, her, my wife and myself all got together at their home recently when my wife and I went to Disney World (for a visit, not what you people are thinking). No, I don't get turned on my overweight women. My biological sexual reflexes respond to the movie star, no not fashion model, types. That is ingrained in my genes and can't be helped, but I don't come on to anyone. TOM PS: Oh, a few weeks ago, I seduced a young chick at the mall and when we got to here house and got on the bed, she stopped me at the last moment (when I was nude). She was afraid that at my age, I might have a heart attack on top of her and die, and at my weight she might not be able to push me off and would die herself from suffocation. :faint:

And I don't tell off the dentist before he drills my teeth.

I am also old enough to remember that the "Good Old Days" are a figment of the (wishful) Imagination. We never had it so good.

Another example of prejudice among people who hate prejudice.

What came first, the eggplant or the chickenplant? :faint:

We can all debate when customer service went wrong, but it was way before they shipped the customer service phone jobs over to India and Pakistan. When I had my first job at 17, my boss taught me how to give out change. If someone bought 47 cents worth of goods (a common purchase back in 1962) and gave me a $20.00 bill, I was to give back 3 pennies, a dime, two quarters, then 4 singles, a five and finally a $10 bill, whilst saying: "this makes 40, 50, one dollar, 5 plus 5 is 10 and 10 makes 20." Today they take all the bills out, fold them long-ways with a little dip in the middle and balance the change on top and then hand it to you. I was once at a drive-through window on a windy, rainy day and the baby-faced cashier did that and all the coins went flying. I told him to give me more coins to complete my change. He pointed to the ground and said "it's down there". I told him to either come out and pick it up or give me more change. (Note: I would have had to move my car to get my door open and to find part of the money underneath my car I would have had to crawl on the ground. I probably would have been run over my the people in line behind my car.) He said, “I gave you the change, it's your fault.” I refused to move while the cars behind me starting blowing their horns (this was Brooklyn, NY). The manager came to the window and asked what the problem was. I explained, “if the cashier had put the change in my palm and then gave me the bills, the bills would not have slipped off of the paper money, but coins do slide on bills.” The manager said he never heard something so absurd. He also had never been taught how to give change. I didn't expect (this is the twenty-first century you know) to have the money counted out verbally, but the simple act of change first is beyond these people. They finally relented and gave me the change. It was not much, but it was the principle, not the principal that mattered. Trying to explain to rude people in the service industry is a good idea, but their managers and parents many times are no more knowledgeable than them. When the manager says, “I'll take care of it”, many times it is only to soothe the customer, but nothing is really done. By the way, in that one out of 20 times, when a cashier gives me my change correctly, I always thank them and compliment them. Most say “That's the only way” or “Of course”. I had a person on line behind me say “it doesn't matter how they give out the change”. When I gave out change the line moved faster, because people did not have to recount the change. In order to avoid confrontations, I try to have exact change whenever possible or I just say, “let me have the coins first”. Many times they look at me like a deer in the headlights and still give it to me, receipt on the bottom, then bills, with the coins on top. I also use credit cards for all my purchased over a few dollars. I get back about $500 a year in cash rebates that way. I complain to the service people, but I also try to explain first. When I have to go to a manager, I try to make sure that any reprimand will not involve firing. I don't want to be the one that drives someone over the top or off the deep end. I try to have compassion. I do not live in a glass house. If I did, my neighbors would have me arrested.

Welcome to LBT. Hope we can help, but don't need to.

I don't think that given a different point of view is either bashing or attacking. I don't think that getting a young person fired is the best option available, but some do. Are the people who do feel that the firing of the sales-girl rights any more valid than mine? I once had an elder relative tell me, “if you can't say something good, don't say anything”. That is nonsense. That is not support. That is catering. Maybe that is why the sales-girl and many young people today are so screwed up. Nobody ever told them anything was wrong. People learn by listening to all sides of a story. Maybe the girl in this case was insensitive. Maybe she has two children and no husband. Maybe her kids will go hungry because she is young and insensitive, when she is fired. I tell an insensitive sales-person when they are rude. I don't tried to get people fired because as bad as my pain was, getting even may cause so much more pain. My grand-daughter is the type girl who was discussed in the opening post. She has the body of a twenty something year-old, the educational brains of a college student, is 18 years old, but has the emotional stability of a 14 year-old air-head. She would make a remark like that without having an inkling that she might be offending someone. I admit my grand-daughter is screwed up and I hope she will outgrow it. I used to try to talk to her, but I have only known her for a few years (she is the daughter of my son's wife from a previous marriage and though I know her since the very late 90's, she has spent more time with her father in a different city than where I live), so I can not tell if my advice and guidance will sink in. Her mother and grand-mother are not that way, so I assume that she will grow out of it. Of course, none of our children or grand-children are rude or insensitive, just mine and the people in the opening posts. But more important than that is the idea that not saying what the thread starter wants to hear is not fulfilling our obligations as LBT'ers. If someone is over-eating, I will only say, "Don't worry, things will get better" or "keep trying" in the future, lest I me told that I am unsupportive or hear “if you can't say something good, don't say anything”. I will not give them real advice, like find a support group or seek professional advice. I promise to be a good LBT'er from now on and just shut-up.

Polls and studies prove that people are basically liars when they discuss sexual exploits and fantasies. My premarital experience was that the "goodie two shoes" was more likely to be easily seduced than the cheer-leader type with the bad reputation. And yes, like all adolescent boys, I tried to seduce girls. The world has changed a lot since I first discovered sex and since I was single, but human nature hasn't.

Leila & Sunta: I admire your honesty. :clap2: The Truth Shall Set you Free, Though You May Have to Pay Dearly To Speak It.

That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me in quite a while. Thank You. :clap2:

I thought there was a one pound rule about letters to stop bombs being sent through the mail. :faint:

Many marriages have become stronger after one spouse was caught cheating. Steel can not be tempered until it is put through searing heat and the same can sometimes be said of relationships. NO!! I am not recommending cheating as a way of building a marriage, but I have seen many marriages where things were just wonderful until the first tribulation and then the marriage fell apart. And that first tribulation was not necessarily cheating. We all wish for that fairy-tale marriage, but sometimes the couple who airs it out, lasts the longest. Many a marriage has taken place with the people in attendance silently snickering to themselves (and making mental bets on "how long will this one last?") only to fool the experts and outlast all the safe and sane pairings. No one here knows what he or she will do if they find out that their spouse has cheated. No one knows if there relationship will die or prosper if and when it happens.

But aren't the complications from doing nothing greater? :help:

Dear People who make Tide: I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it since the beginning of my married life, when my Mom told me it was the best. Now that I am older and going through menopause, I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My unfeeling and uncaring husband TOM, started to berate me about how clumsy I was and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. Well, one thing led to another and I ended up with a lot of TOM's blood on my white blouse. I tried to get the stain out using a bargain detergent, but it just wouldn't come out. After a quick trip to the supermarket, I purchased a bottle of liquid Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well, that when the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative. Later, my attorney called and said that I would no longer be considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband. What a relief. I thank you, once again, for having such a great product. Well, gotta go now, I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people. Signed, Mrs. TOM, A very relieved menopausal wife

One more point to consider that no one yet has mentioned. There is much research being done into the "Why" and "How" of obesity. Suppose you have your guts all rearranged and parts removed and the next month they come up with a drug/pill or technique that allows you to eat normally and/or control your hunger? Then what? You can't go back to your doctor and say, "Put everything back together the way it used to be".:faint:

People Killing Stingrays to get Even From the Article: Backlash Against Stingrays Since Irwin's Death By MERAIAH FOLEY, AP SYDNEY, Australia (Sept. 12) - At least 10 stingrays have been killed since "Crocodile Hunter" Steve Irwin was fatally injured by one of the fish, an official said Tuesday, prompting a spokesman for the late TV star's animal charity to urge people not take revenge on the animals.

There is another impending tragedy in the offing. Two of my friends, x-coworkers that I have each known for over 30 years are sick. They both were involved with the cleanup for our airline. One worked at the WTC site looking and sifting the debris for aircraft parts and the other was at the landfall doing the same as the trucks and/or barges deposited the remains of the WTC in Staten Island. Besides aircraft debris, they also had to look for the minutest of body parts for possible identification which were then handed over to the medical examiner. Of course the fireman, police and other rescue workers who gave their lives on 911 were the truest of heros, but these people who are now sick after the government lied about the air quality deserve our compassion, prayers and medical care. If we can spend billions in Iraq, we should be able to spend whatever it takes to help these people who were there when we needed them. I am fearful that one of my friends may not make it much longer and I worry about how his wife and children will make it without him, both emotionally and financially. There were heros on 911, but these are the forgotten heros of 911.

This Lap-Band is a "Piece of Cake". Seriously, your concern shows that you have been thinking and that is a big plus. I started at 5'9" - 327#. 4 years later, I am still dealing with problems, but dealing with problems means I am still alive at 10 years your senior. Many people thought that I would not make 61 with my array of health problems. Yes, I miss feeding my face when I am angry at my wife, my dog, the president, the mayor, the Steelers or Mets or Jets or Nets, but at least I can feel the anger, which proves my heart is still pumping. Missing food or missing living? Your choice. I made mine and I am glad I did.

The theory about doubling your bet in BlackJack is similar to the one that says buy $10,000 worth of stock, if it goes down 10%, buy double or $20,000 more, if it goes down 10%, buy double again or $40,000 more, etc. These theories all work as long as you have unlimited money. BUT...If you had unlimited money, you wouldn't need these strategies. Using the system above, by the time the stock dropped to 25% of its original value, you would have invested over $120,000,000 (120 Million). If you started with a $5 bet in blackjack and double each time you lose, by the 5th game you will have $120 invested. By the 10th game you will have almost $4,000 invested, but after 15 loses, your next bet will have your invested at a quarter of a million dollars.

A longer life, hopefully being able to be around for our 50th wedding anniversary and to be able to see my grand-daughter graduate from high school to get married.

I wish you the best of luck. However, I was able to lose weight with many different techniques, including the liquid diet method, but none allowed me to keep it off. Maybe that should be rephrased. I never kept the weight off by any diet method and the reason for that is a diet, by its connotative definition is a aberration of eating until we get to a goal, but then what? We go back to eating "NORMAL" (or normally for the English majors out there) and we gain the weight back. It is like trying to be a recovering alcoholic who after being in recovery for 2 years, says, "I will have a drink just once in a while". The Lap-Band is a tool not just to lose weight, but to keep it off. The "keep it off" part is the more important part and the harder part. Good luck, no matter what you decide.