NewBeginnings2018

Ooooh good luck PigsRFlying!!!!!!!! How exciting!! I think I started exercising three or four weeks afterwards, but a lot of people bounce right back and start walking a few days afterwards. I was a wimp though, and the lack of eating many calories made me exhausted. I think Denise said she was back to normal in a couple days though. She's a superstar. And yes, things are still going well for me. Keep those fingers crossed!

Hi April! I didn't "stop" dating so to speak before the band, but I did decide to take a break the first few months into it. It takes some time to recover from surgery, and you have to learn a new way to eat. I wanted to just be able to focus on myself and that's it. I was banded in October, and think I went back to online dating sites in January. I would say just do what feels right for you and things will all work out.

Haha Leona, that's because I'm a serial dater. Plenty of dates, a whole mess of relationships, but alas no true love yet. lol. Things are going well with Mike though. Every time I see him I realize more and more how cute he is, how nice he is, and how much I'm attracted to him. I could really fall for this one. That makes me a little nervous, so I'm just taking it day by day. Mike was out with some friends last night and called me. He was a little tipsy and started saying some interesting things. First he said something about me being his girlfriend, and then a friend of his asked if he had to answer to me and his reply was "I'm 32 and if I don't start having to answer to someone soon I'm going to be single forever." I'm laughing hysterically about this and all I could say was, I don't expect you to answer to me, and then he told me it was a good thing and he wanted to. So I don't know - maybe we need to have the talk too Leona. lol

Leona I would maybe suggest having the 'since we're sleeping together' talk, whereas since we're sleeping together I need to feel comfortable knowing that you're not sleeping with anyone else. This will usually bring up some sort of conversation. It will either be the "ok, I can do that" conversation or the "of course not, silly" conversation. Two very different reactions and two very different relationships. The first is we're "dating" and the second is we're "boyfriend-girlfriend". My married friends laugh and say it's splitting hairs but I've been in both relationships before and they are very different with different expectations. So use that as a way to bring up the conversation, then just be honest. If you want him to be your boyfriend, tell him. Guys like affirmation just as much as us girlies do. That's my two cents. JC hon, take care of yourself. You're getting me worried over here.

Happy Happy Birthday Derbygirl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well Leona I'm glad you gave it a little more thought before you just decided to walk away from Matt. I don't care what age you are, it's hard to meet a true "good" guy. A key thing, in my opinion, to look for is whether or not being with him makes you a better person. The other person in your relationship should lift you up, not bring you down if that makes any sense. But I'm excited that you have some real potential there.

Heeyyyy Darcy!! Glad to hear things are good with you and that things are so exciting for you right now! We've missed your smiling face.

How you keep going is beyond me JC. I am a b*tch on liquids, so you wouldn't want me hanging around if I were in your shoes. lol. I love shark week too though. Well Leona, I'm glad you told Matt, and I'm gald it went well. I've been seeing Mike a ton too, and understand what you mean about wondering sometimes if it's too much. But I also think part of that is me being afraid to really fall for someone again. Does that make any sense? Not sure if you're finding some of that too. You crack me up with the shower routine, and I guess my age shows becuase I could care less what someone does in the shower as long as they get clean. lol. BUT I also do understand that there needs to be that spark and a physical connection, but dare I say that sometimes it takes a little time to get in sinc with each other before you know for certain if you can rock each other's worlds. That being said I also believe we have relationships for different reasons, and maybe this relationship was to help you realize just how wonderful you are. My suggestion would be to just go with the flow and enjoy the next month before you leave for school. You're young - have a good time for now and you can re-evaluate things with Matt before you leave. That's my take.

Welcome smilinapple and dibaby! Pigsrflying, so exciting surgery is coming up for you. :eek: My best advice is to drink a ton of water the couple days before surgery. I was a little dehydrated on the day of surgery and it took them 10 tries to get my IV. Ouch. It's not always easy, and there will be struggles, but I am thrilled with my decision. Welcome standgal! :woot: I understand your friend's worries. I often wonder about that myself. If the guys I will date at my goal weight would be cool with my once being a fat girl. But I guess finding "real" love means finding someone who accepts you for who you are as well as who you were, and who you are yet to be. Sounds like you found a good one with your hubby. :woot:

CONGRATS Kat!!! 100 lbs down is so amazing! What an amazing accomplishment. Way to go!!! :clap2: Mandy, good luck with your upcoming surgery! I liked the last Harry Potter book, but mostly I think because it wrapped up the series, which I have enjoyed reading so much. I read through the book so fast though, just to finish, so I'll probably re-read when I get the chance. Not much new here with me, except for the new guy I'm dating. Things are going really well so far, so keep your fingers crossed. I told him about the band last night at dinner and it didn't phase him at all. He was concerned when I told him I had another 50 lbs to lose that I would get too skinny. How funny is that? Me...too skinny...never gonna happen. lol. Hi to Cindy, Eileen, Betty, Patty, Sherry and everyone else. Hope you're all enjoying your summer.

Ok folks, I dropped the bomb tonight at dinner with Mike. lol. He said he was surprised because he didn't think I looked like I needed WLS, and he had never noticed the scars on my tummy (not too observant there. lol). He was shocked when I told him I wanted to lose another 50 lbs, and was worried I'd become too skinny. lol. Gotta love this man. He told me he didn't think it was a big deal, and that it didn't matter to him at all. I told him I didn't think it would be an issue with him, but I didn't want to hide anything from him either. So it was good. Now it's Leona's turn to tell. lol

Oh Deb I'm so sorry to hear you may be slipped! I hope that's not the case, and how scary to think that you may have been that way for that long. Let us know how the test goes. I'll be thinking of you. I say let's just pick a date and then go from there. I am open in August except for Sundays. Those are tough days for me. I would love to see everyone again. It's great to talk to people who understand the same struggles.

Oh yeah, if he asks what the scar is for I'm going to tell him. I'll probably find some way to tell him soon I suppose. I'm not looking to hide it, I just didn't want to make it a big deal if that makes any sense. I'm not worried about him accepting it or not - I'm sure he will. And if he doesn't, there's the door buddy. lol. JC, you are a rock star! I love it!

Oh JC I am SO SORRY to hear about what happened! What an ordeal! How are you doing? Both physically and emotionally. A scare like that has got to rattle you a bit. Thank goodness you had friends and family who were able to help. I am praying that everything is ok with your band, but am also happy that they are taking this seriously and you just do whatever you need to do to get it fixed. Your health is #1 priority. And I take back whatever I said about not wanting you to get below my weight. Have at it. :confused: I wish I was nearer to you so I could give you a big hug! xoxoxo Leona congrats on your new man. I don't wear the girdly type things either, so not much advice here. I'm with derbygirl though - I say just work what your momma gave ya. He obviously likes you and once you do get intimate, he'll be seeing it all anyway. So things are progressing great for me and Mike. We went out last night and had a great time, and have plans to go out tomorrow night as well. He actually just called a few minutes ago and said he was going to swing by in a little bit so we can go for ice cream. Very sweet, especially when you consider he was supposed to be going to a bachelor party tonight and instead he wants to come see me. Good sign, huh? lol But I haven't told Mike about the band yet either. It's not that I don't want to tell him, I just haven't wanted to artificially bring it up. He, ahem, saw my scars last night but never said anything about them. lol. I'm assuming he'll bring it up sooner or later. If not, I'll probably find a way to tell him since TOM is coming next week and I get super-restricted that week. Kind of hard to hide that. lol Well off to get ready for ice cream. JC feel better soon!!!

Awwww....congrats Leona! That sounds like a GREAT date!!! I think sparks are in the air. :car:

Awww Cindy, happy bandiversary girlfriend!!!!

I have a date today alright - with Harry Potter. lol. I just LOVE those books. lol. So last night was date #3 with Mike, and again it went really well. No beach date this weekend, since the weather is not really cooperating. He is actually looking to put together a day trip next Saturday to Martha's Vineyard with a group of his friends. I hope we end up going, it would be a lot of fun I think. But I took myself off match. Not so much because of Mike, but because I really felt like I needed a break from it all. It just kind of works out that I've started dating someone around the same time. If things don't work out for Mike and I, I'll probably still take a break from dating and just focus on myself some. I'm 16 lbs away from onderland and nothing would make me happier than if I were able to get there by my one year anniversary. I'll have to bust my butt to get there though, but I'm going to try! Derby - I'm sorry your friends don't seem to quite understand why you did this and just how much of a part of our lives it now is. My friends and family are super supportive - I am very lucky. Although I know sometimes they probably wish I'd stop talking about it. lol. I can see how dating another bandster would make things easier, but I don't know of any bandster dating sites. lol. But hang in there girly. :car:

bostonchic I struggle with the same thing. I told someone on our second date once, because I got a little tipsy and it was the first guy I really dated afterwards. lol. He didn't really think it was a big deal, but he was a bigger guy. I still get worried what a think, fit guy would think but then I say to myself that this is part of me now, and a big part of my life. The guy will either accept me as I am, or he can hit the road. Plain and simple. So I had date #2 with Mike last night, and no - I didn't tell him about the band. lol. It was GREAT! He is sooooo cute I have to tell you. And we shared a nice little kiss at the end of the night and there were definitely butterflies. I'm leaving tonight for camping with my family, and then he invited me to the beach with him and his friends next Sunday. I actually think I'm going to go. Can you imagine that?? Me, in a bathing suit on a 3rd date - in front of friends nonetheless. OMG! lol. Oh well, again it is what it is and I can't spend my life hiding. Granted I will not be taking off my sarong to save my life but I think I should just go for it. I'm crazy, huh? lol

Karla, so sorry to hear about your friend! It takes so much strength and courage to fight cancer. I will keep your friend in my prayers. Neveragain, it took me a long time to get to the point where I am, after years of feeling like you do. The only advice I can give you is to look for happiness within yourself first. And sometimes happiness is a choice. Do I have all I'd hope to out of life at this point? No. But I choose to be happy. We are only given so many days on this earth and I'd rather spend them focusing on the things I do have, rather than focusing on what I don't. And I've also decided to only focus my attention on the guys who are just as into me as I am into them. I spent too many years giving my love away to people who never returned it. So my advice on Jayne is to just let her be and focus on finding someone who can see how great you are. You deserve someone who is going to love you back 100%. For those who asked, my next date with Mike is tonight. I'm going to hop in the shower right now. I'll let you know how it goes.

Neveragain, I completely understand what you mean about feeling like something is missing. That's a very powerful feeling and I felt that way for a long, long time. For years I felt empty and thought having someone to love me would fix that. I wanted a boyfriend so badly, even just to have a boyfriend sometimes. I thought that would fill that void, and I'm sure I also filled that void with food. Over the years I've come to realize that it's up to me to feel fullfilled on my own. It was a long road to get there, but after spending a lot of time with myself and working through some of my issues, I am there and it is a wonderful place to be. I have a great life and I know if I spend the rest of it being single I will still have a wonderful and fullfilling life. I did not feel like that when I was in my early 20's. Maybe it's part of getting older, I'm not sure. And don't get me wrong, I still want to find my life partner very much so, and to start a family. But this time around I don't need him to complete me, just enhance me. I think there is a big difference there. I'm not saying how I feel is "right" or "better", I'm just sharing how my journey has gone and wanted to let you know that I too had felt that way.

Thanks everyone for your condolences. Today was her birthday, and we literally had a party for her at the cemetary. Tables, chairs, hats, balloons, cake - the whole 9 yards. lol. There were about 30 of us. We got some funny looks, but I think they could see all the flowers so they knew it was a recent burial. It was beautiful though - we even sang her happy birthday. Other than that, hopefully I'm heading off this week camping with my family. They are already down there, and I'll probably head off in a couple of days. Oh, and I just started dating someone too. Just when I said I wanted to take a "break" from dating - two days later this guy shows up and he is so nice. So we went out last night and we're going out again tonight. We'll see. Anyway, I'm sorry I really haven't been around to do personals. There has been a lot going on with you all - happy and sad. Even if I haven't posted I've been thinking about y'all.

CONGRATS Derby! That is great news! JC, I'm only 2 lbs from your goal weight, so as long as you don't fly by that in the next couple of weeks i'll be ok. lol Soooo.....I had my date last night! It went well. We met up for a few drinks and he is MUCH cuter than his pictures. We met around 9, and closed down the place around 1ish. I think we would have stayed later if the place wasn't closing. lol. He is nice, and funny, and I think he's cute. I'm actually a little excited. So time will tell I suppose. Wish me luck!

Denise, yes I love BigMedicine! I tivo it every week. I think they are finally having someone with the band on it soon too. It's a great show to watch - always reminds me of why I had weight loss surgery. JC that is awesome! Way to go. But, uh, tone it down a bit. You can't weigh less than I do! haha Just kidding. I've heard great things about the couch to 5k program. So what a week it's been for me. I lost my friend to Ovarian Cancer on Tuesday morning after a long, tough battle. I think I've been home all of an hour since Monday. It was so hard to see her suffering, so I'm happy she's at peace now. During all this I met a guy, while I was on my dating "break", and we've been trying to meet up all week, but I have to keep canceling on him. lol. He's been so understanding and seems soooooo nice. We talk on the phone every day for at least an hour, and I think his pics on the computer are cute, so I'm actually getting hope up for this one. That's dangerous though. I try not to spend too much time getting to know someone on the phone before I meet them because it can just build things up too much. But hey, what's meant to be is meant to be so we'll see how it goes. I'm going on vacation next week but we're planning on meeting up before I leave, so I'll let you know how it goes. Man, a week without computer access. I'm not sure I'll make it! lol

Hey everyone, sorry I haven't checked in lately. My friend passed away on Tuesday morning, after a long battle with Ovarian Cancer. I think this the is the first time I've really been home since Monday morning. So just wanted to let you all know that I'm still alive, and that I do read along even if I don't always have time to post.

Welcome Marcar, glad you posted!

Derick it is tough to date, no question about it. And people can be very shallow. Dating is hard, and it's a lot of work most of the time. But sometimes you just have to dust yourself off and get back out there. I used to take things so personally in dating, and would blame everything on my weight. I changed my attitude a bit and feel that I can't make anyone like me, and I'm not just going to settle for those who do if I don't like them back. Dating is a game of numbers, so the more I can get out there and date, the more of a chance I have to meet someone I really connect with. And if I don't connect with someone, that's ok. There are plenty of people I thought were wonderful, nice, attractive people but I didn't feel that "spark". I can only assume there will be times when the same thing happens in reverse. All that being said, I also see nothing wrong with taking a break and focusing on yourself, kind of like PigsRFlying is saying. I think it's so important to become comfortable with yourself and to build your confidence. That comes through when you're dating. So I guess Derick it's really up to you if you want to take yourself "off" the market. Either way just keep your chin up and know that you WILL meet the right girl for you! Dating is a complete pain in the ass, but it's a necessary evil.