ajaxx909

Ok so today marks 1 full week! I started back to work two days ago. I felt okay considering. I started wearing constrictive tops ie girdle's. Normally I loathe girdles but its actually making me more comfortable, how it holds me together and covers my scars so that its not brushing against my shirt when I move especially when I am sleeping.

I had posted previously that I went out to dinner with friends and I did but I should state that I ate two asian chicken dumplings over a 2 hour period. WHICH I WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO DO!:glare: I was supposed to be consuming liquids and for some reason that just did not register in my head. I am really embarrassed that I just started this journey and I'm already unable to stick to the plan given to me but I'll get back up and try again.

I was in the chat room today and people were talkin about people like me who start eating regular food before they are supposed to. I got offended because just because someone has made a poor decision with regard to eating they should be encouraged not condemned.

As embarassing as it is, we all (the obsese) have an issue with gauging portions and healthy food choices. So since I did not have brain surgery to change my thinking it is going to take time to change my behavior of eating because I'm happy or sad or its sunny or its raining or just because food is within my grasp. Try as I mught to feign perfection, my lackof control in this area of my life proves otherwise. I'll try to stay the course from this point forward. Good Luck to those who may wander on to this entry!:devil:

Ajaxx

So today is my fourth day post surgery.

Just some insight to the surgery itself, I went alone.:glare: It initially was the one of the most frightning things that I have ever done, as I am super cautious of hospitals but I MADE IT! I was in alot of pain, much more than I ever expected and the medication I was given did not help much. But unbeknownst to my doctor I did drive myself home so I guess it couldnt have been that bad!

The next morning I was in pain, it hurt to move, sneeze, cough, sit, or stand. Once I got into position laying down was not painful. Each day it got better. I have been lathering my incision with neosporin ointment. I figure that if I have to have the scars or the gaining weight I'll take the scar but if there is even a chance I can have my cake and eat just a lil too, why not! I have had alot of gas. The nurses explained that my stomach was filled with air during the surgery so I guess what goes in must come out! Its not out of control or painful just everynow and again I burp or have a "toot"!

Last night I went out with friends to dinner. I was kinda uncomfortable but all in all it was cool. My doctor has not placed me on any protein diet but I just am not really all that hungry.I am beginning to really feel this band inside me. It is a peculiar feeling, not painful just mildly uncomfortable, but I know something is in there. I can also feel it when I eat. I have heard that some folks go back to work in like 2-3 days but I would suggest no less than a week. Actually I will be returning 6 days after my surgery and I wish I has another week to adjust. But I gotta get Ms. Realize paid for so its back to work I go! I go in for my fill next week. I am excited about that and I'll keep you posted.:wub:

Just for some additional encouragement my family has been verbally supportive but not so much with actions. I have experienced some gossiping, and side comments regarding my decision which they cloak as "concern". For anyone who may be experiencing a similar issue I challenge you to forge ahead. this is your life. Folks may not be ready for the new and happier you but your life is not about what makes those around you happy or comfortable. Do your homework make an informed decsion that you ALONE are happy with and if you have to walk alone, walk with gratitude that even though it maybe alone YOU CAN WALK!!!:devil:

So I completed all of my prerequsites to have my lapband. I am so elated that I have finally placed all of the expectations that everyone else has had for me aside and I am doing this for AJAXX :wink:. My surgery date is officially May 19, two and a half weeks away! My goal is to lose a minimum of 75 lbs. but I'd really like to drop 100lbs. Keep me in your prayers.