I was banded 2/9/09 my journey So far has been very depressing ever since I got my surgery I have had nothing but bad news in my life 2 deaths & now I got laid off my job last week. they gave me a exit date of 6/19/09 thinking they are doing me a favor but I know they just need me here to clean up. I've been very depressed I gained 5pd that week eating, yes I do eat less but I eat a lot all day, everytime I could which make me feel terrible getting me deeper into depression I know it's all a mental thing but it keep my mind off things, the fullness & the getting sick if I do over eat just stops me from thinking of what's going on and about what the hell I'm going to do. I'm actually in tears right now. I get to the point when I just want to give up.My life has been nothing but hell since the age of 26 I had a brain tumor in my pituitary gland that is what caused the weight gain,that cause my diabetes and so much more there was so many complications do to that. blindness for over 6 months but with surgery I got some sight back but I'm still legally blind out of one eye. Any way it took me 2yrs to recover & still trying to get my life right but it just ain't happening I think I'm done trying. I have one more doc appt on the 17th to get my third fill I will go to the appt but may not get the fill because what if it's to tight & need to get some let out my insurance will be termed by then and i could never afford to pay for it myself so i'm at a loss of what to do and the more i feel bad the more I want to just throw my hands in the air and say f_ck it I guess I will just feel miserable with myself and live this life as it is. Damn I just want something good to happen in my life one thing to make me smile & laugh not just fake it in front of family so they don't worry about me.they've done enough of that.. I thought this was a start but ended up making things worse at least for me. I don't know my next step. Sorry I may not have made any sense. that's nothing new. well I guess i vented enough. As you can see on my wieght chart I haven't lost much weight then people I see on thuis site. I haven't even updated the chart to the 5pds I gained it make my sad to have to do that.