OH Juli

Gwen, What I love about you is your willingness to try new approaches. You rock. I need to work on my food portion of this routine. I can exercise to my heart's content but if I don't get the calories lower than what I burn I'm just going to continue to maintain. The problem is I've continued to be an emotional eater and I'm running pretty highly emotionally lately. I need to find a way to throw the switch on that and get a control on my intake again. Maybe I need to take a page from you, Gwen, and do something pretty strict which elliminates all kinds of things. I don't know, seems like a smart idea. Otherwise, I'm getting stronger because I'm working hard at strength training. And I'm running again, so I'm proud of that, but the food, the food, the food.... Hope everyone is doing well. Oh and there's no new news on the PS to report. I should however have a date next week. I let you know when I know. J

What I heard which may not be helpful, is, When it feels better than hurts it's time to have sex again. Each person is different. But slow and easy is the best approach. Only you know what will feel okay, and in the moment. I'm sure your mate will happily go at the pace you deam neccessary.

I've got to say my poo got all messed up. If you're going every other day or every third day, you're probably average. If it hurts to poo there's reason to be concerned. If you're feeling full up, maybe you're just used to going more often? That's not going to happen. You have far less to get rid of than you did before. But as Jachut said, add more high Fiber things to your diet. They act as scrubbers and move the whole mess down the tract well. Things to consider, pears, prunes, raisins, almonds, oats, barley, bulgar wheat. If you can chew the prune instead of drink it you'll get more fiber. Sorry....being full of shit (hahaha) stinks.

I wonder if I should get a trainer...do you think spinning is equal to?

Well there are a couple of things I see happening. 1. How do you council people who probably already know what you have to say? 2. What can you take away from the encounters? Maybe there's more. Oh, yeah, beating yourself up for some "shoulds". But 1. Every person who ate a donut/buckeye, bad for you food, made the choice to do that. There's not a thing you could have said or should have said that would have made a bit of difference. Maybe at that moment but they would have eaten the food later when you weren't looking. You would forever be labeled "holier than thou" and nobody likes to hang out with that person. You can't be on a one person mission to convert the people who aren't ready. Or maybe you can, but that's a tricky role to play. 2. What can you take away from the encounter? Well there's nothing like a negative role model to make you want to keep your nose (plate) clean. Know that there is only one person that you can control and it's you. It's kind of limiting, but it's also liberating because you stop worrying about all those other people. What’s even more cool is if you muster some sympathy for them, like maybe they have an unknown situation which is causing them to behave like and idiot. (I use this for bad drivers in traffic, maybe the idiot is rushing to the hospital.) Which then brings me to the shoulds. You can live a life of good examples. When folks ask how you're doing it, and they do, don't they? you can boast of your good choices. Now if you are asking if you should eat poorly like these other people because they are eating badly and you are looking permission (which I don't think so, but it's funny to play that one out) don't give in to peer pressure. You are too old for that silliness.

Gwen, I'll tell you what, I'm not entering into plastic surgery easily. I wish I was, I'm processing all kinds of things, like the what ifs and am I being vain? But the reality of it is is that I can fit a second body under this skin. I literally hangs off the front of my body and movement is hindered by it. So it is what it is. I don't want to sound unexcited by the prospect either. It's kind of a multi sided something or another that I'm dealing with. The money, the potential for death, the scars, the checking out of life for a month while I recover...all of it kind of weighs on me. The pros though are being better able to move and run and to look on the outside as fit as I actually am. You should see my biceps! Also, I don't want to look like a former fat person. I don't run from my past as a fat person but I want to tell people about it, I don't want someone to take one look and go, wow she's dropped massive wieght. You know the look, we spot our peers every where. Sorry to go on about it here. This seems like a safe place on LBT, I don't have a plastics thread started well because I don't want THAT much feedback. Just a little from my people I trust, you guys. Have a glorious week.

hello my Marchie peeps. Where is Jeni??? I miss you! Gwen, my surgery should be the first week of April. I'm mostly self pay, my insurance will only cover the panniculetomy, not the complete lower body lift and certainly not the arms. I have to pay first then be reimbursed by insurance. The big giant bill is $20,000. I should get a few grand back. And yeah, who has that kind of money, but I figure I'd spend near to that on a car, and this is my body for the rest of my life. I'll pay for it. Mrs H. Sorry to hear about your son and your mouth. ick ick ick. But you seem to be seeing the bright side, your son wasn't hurt and your mouth is getting better. I don't want this to come out wrong, but your son probably learned a good lesson at an expense which didn't get anyone hurt. You know the lesson to pay attention and cars can actually kill people so take that responsibility seriously. It took me well into my 20s to know that one. School is back on and the count down has begun. 11 more weeks until I'm finished with my MBA. It's been a long four years. (I had complete my undergraduate degree first...) Also, I'm working out more diligently than I have been. I continue to be excited for the new year. Peace.

Pure-Essence.Net Traci, this is for you!

My friend's mother is looking to have surgery, probably gastric bypass, considering her co-morbidities and age, but feels like she's just shooting in the dark when it comes to selecting a surgeon. I know this is LBT, not general weight loss surgery site, but this is where I hang out so I thought I'd ask. Can you respond if you've had a positive experience with your surgeon? Actually tell me to run screaming from the horrible ones too. Any feedback would be appreciated. Thanks in advance!

BG didn't mention that our respective mates have found other buddies too and they are competing against us. Oh, for shame. There will be some serious butt kicking happening in August, in Chicagoland.

Linda The mall is at the Polaris exit on I-71, one exit north of 270. Where are you coming from? I'm going to try to make it, however I'm not sure just yet.

I'm back to working out during my lunch hour. Also, just trying to create some new food patterns and not let some of the old ones get me down too badly. My goal is to lose 10 pounds by April when I have plastic surgery. Nice to move into 2009 with you all.

Oh my you in no way said it was a good method. I was just making a general statement. I pulled the statement from the thin air, because I don't want people to assume I advocate pbing. And dude, bring on a new and better word for the activitiy. However, I have been known to say I had surgery to learn to be bulemic, but of course only to those twisted people who get the whole going from SMO to regular thing and there aren't many of us. And thanks for the compliment on the loss. It's something else. You're doing a bang up job yourself.

I don't call it vomiting because to me that means the contents of the stomach with the acid etc, coming up and out. It's different. I vomited before the band. What I do now is different. It requires a different word to describe it. BTW, I've been known to give a full blown stomach virus vomit since being banded too. And that's entirely different from chucking up food which will not pass the band. If by chance you think by calling it something other than vomiting one is trying to "sugar coat" what is actually happening, making bad choices, behaving in bad ways than say that. I don't see hacking up what you ate as a good weight control method and see PBing as embarassing or even vile, but it's not vomiting. At least not to me.

Amy Amy Amy If you the touchy feely type: let me give you a hug. If you are a cynical girl: shut the hell up. Pick which one works for you and then let's begin. What happened in 08 is in the past. You ate Cookies. You will not rot in bad lapbander hell. You need to leave that in 2008. This is a new year and if you don't let your past actions go and let go of the gulit you will carry that burden into this year and it will bog down your success. Try to give yourself permission to let it go. Then sit with your self and figure out what you can do to get back on the the losing train. Is it a fill? Is it cleaning out your fridge? Is it committing to journaling your food? Well then here's the harder part than even forgiving yourself and letting go of the guilt. Ready? This is tough...do those things you determined will you need to do. Call for the fill, journal, clean. You don't need to explain your actions to anyone but yourself. And you don't even need to explain them to yourself but you do need to forgive yourself for them. Make some peace with your actions. You can.

It's not like vomiting. No. You have a pile of food sitting on top of your band which will not go down, so it has to come up. Depending on how pressurized it is, say you at ate a lot before you noticed because you were eating quickly, it's going to come up more urgently. If you swallowed something that's not been chewed properly and there's not a whole lot sitting on top of it, it may be a little hack and slime. You may work at bringing it up too, because it's not comfortable and the stuff may just not move through. It was months before I PBed but nearly everyone will do it. Some people more than others. If it's happening too often it's a sign you need to adjust your behavior or your band. Good luck. Or eventually it does and you sit miserably while you

Blaze, Ask at your college if there are any phys ed students/sport med/occupational therapy student/athletic trainer types interested in training you. There might be a program already set up. And this is the biggest surprise of my exercising weight loss journey so far....the fit people out there are often times more supportive and encouraging of you getting into the game than anyone else. So asking them for help, while intimidating because they look so hot, is usually met with better results then expected. You may be surprised at what you find.

Trainers are cool. Or they can be cool. Interview yours before you decide to hire them. Make sure you like their personality. Do you want a drill sargent, a coach, a cheer leader, a friend? Make sure you respect them. Do you think they are smart? Do they know thier stuff? Ask what kind of training they have. Make sure they know you have a band or boundaries you want them to respect. If you ever feel like the relationship isn't meeting your needs break it off and hire a new person. HTH The ones at my gym cost $20 for 30 minutes.

Productive Burp or Belch. You bring up what will not go down. Rather like a cat with a hair ball. It's no fun. It's to be avoided and it's certainly not pretty. Most people feel them coming on and run for the potty. There are stories of them happening in odd places and at very bad times. HTH.

Dumping happens because the piece of intestines that processes sugar is removed in GB. The body doesn't know what to do with the matter and treats it like poison. Essentially someone poops and pukes like they have food poisoning. If you've ever had it, you know what I mean. You probably have a bug. You have all the sugar processing parts in your body still. Get some fluids and feel better. Also, tisk, tisk, about the sugar. Perhaps it's better to believe they will make you sick forever so you stay away from them, no?

I'm a strength training junky. I run a bit too. w00t I'm starting yoga. I was drastically over weight for easily 15 years. I am nearly half the weight I used to be. There's not jack that would make that skin fit this body. I can't wear a size 32 pair of pants and pretend they fit. I'd have to take them apart at the seams, recut the pieces and stitch them back together again. That's what plastic surgery means to me. Just making the outters fit the inners.

This is all very different for many... I was told you should be losing less than a pound a month. Most your losses should be done. But there are all kinds of reasons to have surgery when you deem it necessary. If I wait a year my insurance and time off wont be covered due to changing jobs, so I'm jumping the gun a little. Is there a trade off? Probably, but those are decisions one makes individually with the consult of a doctor and your own personal needs.

Tyanna, Yeah for your SIL. I look forward to meeting him and seeing you again in a few weeks (I saw that on the other thread). Sometimes we struggle so hard for it to be just like it was when it was new...you know once you are married a few years behaving like newly weds just doesn't happen. Well because you're not newly weds. But that doesn't mean you're not in love. Same with the band. Even when the newness has faded there are great ways to relate to your band that supports positive results. Sometimes getting out of our own way to let those new ways develop is the hardest thing, don't you think? Happy New Year to everyone!

I get the manic part of wanting to over eat. Nothing more thrilling than getting the plate clean. LOL. I say that in a twisted way, but I do remember those days. When I went in for my inital consult and it was determined that I was a volume eater the nutritionist said to me, you will do very very well with the band. It's the snackers who tend to keep putting food down continually that struggle. Who knew? You'll be amazed at how differently you feel about food. It really does stop becoming all consuming, sorry for the pun. But honestly, it has made all the difference in the world for how I react to food. Don't get me wrong, I still love food. I'm a cook by trade, so it's a huge piece of my world but I've transferred much of how I inneract with it to other behaviors. Come to my house and I'll feed you! it's sick, but it's the truth. Also, Monkey, I ascribe by the not extreme rules too. I actually have thought of my band as bumpers on the bowling alley. I try to shoot down the middle but if I get off track it keeps me from rolling into the gutter.

I didn't mean to imply you didn't have a strong will. You are right, anyone who has battled their weight has discipline. What I should have said it's different for different people; how strong the tool is for keeping food at bay. Different people "wear" it differently too. Some keep it super tight, some not so much. But you probably already know that since you've been on these boards for some time. What I was trying to say it's been my experience that if you look at the extremes of personality types with the band, you have on one side of the continum, the "I'm going to beat the hell out of my fat. I'm going to take this opportunity and do everything I can to get this weight off of me. This is my most extreme attempt, I'm having surgery and this tool is the going to be the difference between now and all my other attempts. I will be at goal!" Then on the other side you have people who say, "Oh I'm so sick of being fat. I want to have surgery to get the weight off. If the band is the difference between before and after, sign me up..." then months into it they are the ones who haven't met their goals because IMO, they are pretty passive about the whole experience. They will give you ample examples of how it's everything but personal choices that got in the way too... Then there's most everyone else who sits between the two. Or perhaps this is a better reply which is accurate for me: I used to be a volume eater. I could consume piles of food before. I simply can not now. I still eat some crap food but the band allows me to eat 2 oreo Cookies not a sleeve of them. If I make 2 eggs and toast for Breakfast I typically throw away half. The band makes it easier. Indeed. I would have never been successful without, and I don't wear it super duper tight. When my weight stands still which it does it's because I make less than optimal choices, but I don't or haven't yet gained weight and that's pretty freakin' sweet.