Jane_J

Hi Ali, Do a ticker and post here every few days for help to keep you focussed. Personally i would go more atkins to lose 20lbs quickly as I always found I felt far more satisfied on that diet when I had my huge and stretchy stomach. Drink plenty of water between meals as sometimes we confuse thirst with hunger. Focus on the things you will be able to do when you are not carrying all that weight and be aware of the restrictions you currently experience. Look at skimpy pretty underwear and imagine yourself wearing it with a slim and lithe body. Look at it all as a project, the You Project, finally after all those years its time for You. You can do it. Jane x

Thank you Dr Jossart. Thats really helpful and very good news. Jane x

I have recently cut my sister adrift, more because I hated the way she treated our Dad in his final years, he died recently, although she has been pretty crappy and unsupportive of me throughout too. She never heped out dealing with our aging and ill Dad, and in fact then tried to blame me after he died!! I love some of my friends far more than I do my sister and I know I am better off without her in my life. I want to spend what time I have left on this planet caring for and being cared for and enjoying the company of the people who I really like and love. Now I am older I think I can treat myself a bit! Jane x

Well, I accept not being perfect and enjoy a little vanity these day, it's been a long time without caring about how I look. Still am 52 though so can't get too vain!! Jane x

Hi thinoneday, see how you go, and never say never!! I would not like to see you pass a lonely old lady but you have your family I hope. Life can be very sh*tty sometimes I know but sometimes it isn't too. Jane x

God gave us brains and self determination so using this to make yourself healthier so you can play an active and supportive role in your family should not make you feel guilty. I really don't think Jesus would judge you badly either. These self punishing modes of thinking are part of the cause and effect of our obesity and now the physical aspects are being cured the head ones have to be addressed. Be kinder to yourself, like you are kind to others. Jane x

Hi Tamboo, I agree with mlkpas 100%. eBay and charity shops are brilliant resources. I use a service called Bidnapper to place my bids in the last seconds and it allows me to put a max price I will go to for an item and then forget about it, so you don't end up being drawn into bidding wars etc. I have dressed myself exclusively this way for the past year and a bit, even my underwear (not 2nd hand obviously that would be yucky!) and my footwear have been via eBay. When I grow out of the stuff I take it to the local Hospice shop or teh Cancer research shop, so I know I am helping otehrs too. I have got some really fab clothes this way, and I can't see myself ever going back to buying mostly from normal shops again! Jane x

I don't think I agree with you ThinOneDay, friends do exist, but they are few and far between and like a marriage both parties have to work at the friendship. I think when we are overweight we are more likely to settle for 2nd best in all departments, including friends. Now we are sorting that out we need to re-evaluate everything else in our lives. I am lucky in that I have had a couple of therapy courses of treatment in my life and that has given me some degree of insight into my own behaviour here. I over-react badly to perceived bullying of myself and others though even now. I have learnt never to allow myself to be walked over the hard way like many of us here. I hate the types of people who are cruel and nasty for no good reason and I can't understand how this behaviour gives them pleasure. But there are many, many good, kind, nice people in this world who would be great friends if you gave them a chance. Our family get a tremendous amount of fun and pleasure, plus support which works both ways, from our friendship group. It's finding them in the first place that can be hard, but I would counsel continuing to be open to friendship. Jane x

Yup, I must admit I eyeball and guess the weight of the meat etc I eat and then log it on ThePlate and it automatically tots up the calories and the protein for me. And it has worked for me so I keep on truckin with it! It's not totally exact but good enough. Jane x

Think of it as decluttering to make space for all the new and wonderful things that are coming your way :biggrin0::thumbup: Jane x

Good riddance. If we cannot post without some semi-literate misogynist cruel guy leaping in and being snide and bitchy then people will not open up and get the benefits of communing with the rest of us. I hate the idea of banning people though, but sometimes it is the best thing to do. I looked through his posts and the only time he was remotely supportive was to men, he obviously had a major problem with women. Jane x

Good luck and get back to as soon as you can. Jane x

God I pity the poor woman with you as a bf.

Early? It's after lunch!!

Nice one Tiffy, hehehehe! Jane x

Haha, but just to confuse it all a bit more I think the protein weight we are recommended to get in at 60-70g is 'dry' weight! Thats why if I log 4 oz of chicken breast of the DailyPlate it only shows up 35ish g of protein. If it was pure dehydrated protein it would be 4 x 28g = 112g. So thats why I use the Plate. Jane x

Ditch the bitch, find some better friends. Jane x

Why do you constantly feel the need to be critical? This is a support forum. :001_smile:

Can you please elaborate on the hard work, your age, your weight loss etc??

Ellisa, Thank you for that. I had some hair loss initially but it grew back. Its a worry but I don't think its a showstopper worry. Jane x

Maybe this would be true if being very overweight did not have health implications and carrying all that weight didn't make you tired and achy. Also other people prejudice can harm your social life and career. Jane x

I would have loved to have had this available in my 20s. Now I am 52 I feel that I have lost 20 years to obesity which is sad. I did have my twins in that time so it wasn't a complete dead loss! Jane x

You are all lovely. Jane x It's hard when we have such a great op but we are so old to reap the benefits!