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Pink, I am so sorry that their words cut you so deep. I totally understand - as I am sure all of us bandsters do. Before writing this post I was compelled to go to yahoo and leave a message for my "skinny-all-her-life" sister. I thanked her for being my biggest supporter and that I love her very much. Because, you see, while we often focus on the negative things that are said to us, we sometimes don't give the good stuff the same attention. Your experience reminded me of that, so thank you. Our struggle with weight loss is one of those "walk a mile in my shoes" things that some people will never understand if they don't experience it. I once (years ago) had a woman I worked with tell me that she would kill herself if she ever got as fat as I was. WOW! That was some statement. But, I knew her and she had A LOT of issues, and was a very unhappy person. She was the one to be pitied. People love to give opinions about things they know nothing about. That's just human nature (although I have no idea why . I like to think that I don't care what others think of me, but who wouldn't be moved after hearing that your "lazy" for using surgery to improve your health. It is a good decision to speak to their manager, not just for the other patients/family members, but also for you to feel empowered. To feel that you don't have to cry in your car and be the victim of their insensitive statements. I hope you can erase them from your mind and concentrate on the positive people in your life, and the support you can receive here on this forum. You are about to take a journey that can change your life! You are young and will enjoy it even more than I do at 55! Lapband is the best thing I ever did for myself, I wish I had done it sooner! I have never worked harder to lose weight and I have never enjoyed working this hard to do it either! Keep your head up! ~Fran

Yesterday I went to a surprise birthday brunch for a close friend. Her husband generously paid for everyone. It was held at i. Cugini in Santa Monica, we sat on the patio where we could see the sun glistening on the ocean. It was beautiful! I had only had my Breakfast Protein shake so by the time most of the people had arrived (12:30 p.m.) I was ...hmmm... ready to EAT! I checked the menu online on Saturday so I could decide what I would eat in advance. It's a buffet so there's a ton of things to choose from. I decided that I would take one spoonful of whatever I liked and, if it took all afternoon, I would eat it. So, that's what I did. I sat down and started eating; everything tasted soooo good. I took my time, but still I was getting full REALLY fast. I excused myself to the ladies room. On my way back I ran into some people I knew so I stopped to chat. When I got back to my seat MY PLATE WAS GONE!!!! The look on my place was so classic that someone took a picture. While I was gone, the waiter came by and asked if I was done with my plate, my best friend (she was sitting next to me) told the waiter "yes", she thought I was done. So, he took my plate. I was like WTHECK!!?? My friend apologized profusely; I told her not to worry. I could, of course, have gone back to the buffet line and refilled my plate, but the truth is -- and I knew it -- I wasn't hungry and was in fact, full. I told my friend that she had done me a favor because I would have eaten till I was sick if I had finished the food I had left on my plate. I laugh everytime I think about the feeling of ... I don't know ... dismay, sadness, surprise ... I really don't know how to describe it because it was like an old habit coming back. My food/friend/comforter was GONE, and for a minute I forgot that I don't "need" food like that anymore. I laugh because it felt soooo good NOT to return to the buffet line and to be perfectly SATISFIED with what I had already eaten (which wasn't much -- but it was ENOUGH). I may have to post the pic that was taken of me when it is sent to me ... maybe. On a side note, there were many people at the brunch that I hadn't seen in a while. Before I left home I looked in the mirror and saw myself as "short and dumpy" (which is hard to do when you're 5'8" ... but the mind plays tricks sometimes). Anyway, I was showered with compliments by friends and loved ones about how great I was looking these days. This was a really great bonus since I was feeling "fat". The mind, the mind plays such tricks ... my pants were loose fitting because they are getting too big, but my head couldn't accept that. I am so thankful for my lap band because no matter what my "head" says, my band just keeps doing its thing and I keep doing mine. LOL Thanks for reading! ~Fran

My insurance required a psych eval for surgery approval. But, before I contacted my insurance or surgeon, I found an obesity specialist therapist and made an appointment. I did this because I knew that WLS was more than just “physical” (i.e., eating less, exercising more). I wanted to feel sure that I was making a decision that I could live with. I personally am an emotional eater, so it was important for me to incorporate the mind and body in my weight loss journey. I started seeing my therapist in October 2008 and had my surgery in June 2009. I continue to see her even now. My problem is not, and never was about being “physically” hungry. Taming the “head” hungry monster has been more than a notion for me. Today I can honestly say that I am thrilled to have my band AND my therapist. My weight loss has been slow compared to many; but the changes in my life with regard to how I feel about food have been tremendous. Everyone’s journey is different, WLS is a very personal thing – each journey is unique for the most part, with a common thread between us all (i.e., having this little band inside of us). You may have it all together, know exactly what you want, and be a person of great discipline, and unless your insurance or your surgeon require it, you may not need a psych eval. Either way, I wish you success on your lapband journey.

You are one brave soul! You posted on facebook that you are having this surgery? WOW! I would never put it someplace that public. Why? Because I would wind up in jail for mutilating someone that said something stupid to me (like your friend from elem school). How on earth would he know how "easy" weight loss surgery is???? People, gotta love them ... cuz if we don't ... we'd KILL THEM! LOLLLL I don't regret for one minute getting my band and to all who think it's the easy route or that I'm crazy for putting something foreign in my body (my SIL said something like that), I say "talk to the hand, cuz I ain't listening". My body, my life ... I'm going to live it MY way. And I promise not to try to live anyone else's life ... well as much as I can, I have kids 20 and 22 ... yeah I still try to tell them what to do ... to no avail ... LOL But what can you do. Sorry, I digress. All the best to you on your journey. It's your life ... LIVE IT! ~F

Jacqui, You continue to amaze me. From your weight loss, to your courage in the face of cancer, to your sense of humor about your ileostomy -- and I'm sure that took some doing. You are an inspiration to me, and others as well. I am always glad to see you here on the forum. I (along with numerous others, I'm sure) am sending you good thoughts, positive energy and heartfelt prayers for a speedy and permanent recovery. ~Fran

Sad, but true. LOL

Yes, my initial reaction definitely would have been the toddler! LOL It's nice that food is losing some of its importance to me now. Looooonnnngg time coming. I am so sorry to hear you have (had? is it over yet?) the flu. And sorry to add to your pain. LOL Feel better soon. @vlp: thanks. ~Fran

Be sure to speak with someone at the doc's office TODAY. If this is not the flu, then I would have to agree with PaminLA, sounds like an infection. How are your incisions looking? ~Fran

I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that after losing about 50 lbs I stopped using my cpap. I thought I was fine. But after accidentally taking my night meds one morning before work (allergy meds, singulair and Exced p.m.), I found myself stuttering (which is a side effect of sleep apnea when you don't get enough oxygen to the brain). So I had another sleep study in January and I am back on my cpap. The good news is that more and more I don't think that sleep apnea is the cause of my bouts with stuttering. I say this because even with my cpap and the special "pep" pills my doc gave me I am still tired. I have just about decided to see the neurologist again. I think most people no longer need their cpap after losing weight, and hopefully you won't need one at all! Good luck! ~fran

Same here. I just posted about how yesterday I was feeling short and fat -- I'm 5'8"! I started this journey in a size 26 pants and I am now a size 14. I was going to wear a dress to work this morning but when I looked in the mirror all I could see was this "short, fat" person. So I am wearing pants today -- all black -- I still feel short and fat. Oh well, tomorrow is another day. Some days are better than others, and I know it is all in my mind so .... ~fran

While it's true, you may be too tight, I know how you feel about not wanting to get an unfill. But you can't continue to get stuck everytime you eat the right foods because sooner or later sliders will start talking to you and they can get pretty loud. LOL So I ask, are you properly hydrated? I thought I was too tight as well, but when I paid attention, I noticed that I was only having problems getting the "right" foods down when I had not been drinking enough Water. If you ARE hydrated and you are still getting stuck every time you eat ... you may need a slight unfill. Hope it gets better soon. ~fran

There's lots of good news here, Sdart. Good news: You have the lap band! YAY! Surgery and recovery are behind you. Good news: Even if you are not ready to use your "tool' (yes, I know everyone, "tool" is a 4 letter word) right now, when your head is in the right place ... it is waiting for you to fill it and do what it takes to lose weight. Good news: You do NOT have to live the rest of your life worrying about everything you eat and you are also NOT a prisoner to your body. Ask any successful bandster and they will tell you that they (myself included) do not "worry about everything 'we' eat". Once we decided that we truly wanted to change our lives, that's what we did. And if that meant changing the way we eat ... it wasn't a "worry", it was a "choice". That's what life is all about, making choices. Sometimes that means choosing the hard right over the easy wrong. Saying that is easy, but I know that doing it ... when you are not ready ... is NOT easy. Good news: You are NOT a prisoner to your body, but if you decide to believe that to be true you make it your reality. Think about it, how does eating something sweet and then beating yourself up afterward serve you? How does it help you achieve your goal of losing the weight? It doesn't. So, stop beating yourself up and take control. THIS IS NOT A RACE, IT IS A MARATHON. Take baby steps. Do what you can and if you slip, just pick yourself up, brush yourself off and start again. Don't let this overwhelm you. Stop doing to yourself what society has done to overweight people like us all our lives ... make us feel like there is something "wrong" with us because we are not thin. It is not a crime to enjoy food, but it is unhealthy if we eat our way to being obesity. We are not stupid, or lazy, or ugly, or weak, etc. We are good people, and we should be good to ourselves. I'll tell you something Sdart, I have been struggling with trying to get my carbs down low -- to no avail. But, I don't beat myself up about it. I step up my exercise (which is merely walking and extra 2-3 miles a day). BELIEVE ME, 2 years ago I NEVER would have believed someone if they told me that I would look forward to getting up at 5 a.m. M-F to walk 2 1/2 miles before going to work. And I REALLY would not believe them if they said that I would take clothes to work so I could add another 2 miles to that on my lunch AND that I would stop on my way home from work to walk another 1+ miles. I PROMISE you, this was UNHEARD of before my band. After doing some reading I decided to only walk M-F, but the past few weeks I have been getting up on Saturday mornings to walk 3 miles at the Marina (it's so beautiful there). But it took TIME for me to change. I was banded June 15, 2009. I didn't start walking CONSISTENTLY until November 2010. You will change your life (and your mind) when you understand that YOU have the power to make this happen. You really do. Read this forum. Write about how you are feeling. Listen to our body to know when you are physically hungry and when you are head hungry. There's a lot of help on this site, use it! Elfiepoo is right, if you can give up sugar you will see BIG changes in your weight loss. If you cannot do it right away, that's okay too, but at least you will know that is an option when you are ready to go that route. We are here to support you. YOU CAN DO THIS!! ~Fran

Been there, done that ... HATED IT! Seems like only yesterday .... why yes, it WAS yesterday. It happens to the BEST of us ... and I mean that! We are the BEST. Why? Because we get back on track and move forward. YAY Bandsters! Here's to a better food day tomorrow. ~Fran

About the Protein Shakes ... just remember, there are a ZILLION of them on the market today, so you will have plenty to try. You might consider trying them BEFORE surgery so you will be all set when it's "Protein shake time" after surgery. My personal preference is chocolate Muscle Milk (powder form) mixed with soy milk (I am lactose intolerant) ... but it's not for everyone. Check various websites, some will send you free (or really, really cheap) samples. Even though you are a picky eater, you should be able to find something to get you through the mushie stage. And remember, the clear liquid stage and mushie stage are ONLY TEMPORARY. You'll be on to reg foods before you know it! All the best to you on your journey. ~fran

With therapist like that, it's no wonder people don't want to seek help when they are troubled! Glad you got a good report and will have your surgery. Continue to read this forum and you will learn a lot from people that have actual experience with the lap band. I can't stop shaking my head when I think about what this "therapist" told you about lap band. tsk, tsk, tsk ... shame on her! All the best to you! ~fran

Happy Birthday Z!!!! Have a great one!

Well said, Stateofzen! I don't feel the "easy" part yet, but I know it's there because before the band I just couldn't keep the weight off. I have never worked harder in my life to lose weight -- or been happier to do it. Thanks for your uplifting post! Hooray for all of us that took the "easy way". LOL! ~fran

I don't think you're any sicker than the rest of us. LOL I know exactly how you feel. If it's in the house resisting it is not easy ... though I have to say it has gotten better. I see an obesity specialist therapist and that helps a lot. But I agree with you, there's no easy fix and we may battle with this for the rest of our lives. I will say that buying new clothes in smaller sizes is quite the motivator, but when emotions kick in .... well, let's just say no amount of shopping money beats that chocolate chip cookie. LOL I keep trying though. I am finding that I am becoming a little obsessed with power walking. I walk in the mornings before work. Today I brought my walking clothes so that I can walk right after work too ... but ... I am feeling compelled to get changed and walk during my lunch break - NOW. It's a strange feeling ... but I like it! Hang in there folks. We are on a journey that is one step at a time. Patience was never one of my virtues ... but I decided I'd better get with the program or I'd be fat forever! LOL All the best to you all on your journey. ~Fran

You're right, once in a while won't kill you. I had one last night. This is how it went: I made a burger patty using ground turkey. Seasoned it with a little sea salt (only takes a pinch), lemon pepper and garlic (using my garlic press). I put the patty in the oven and baked it. When it was done I looked at it and immediately knew it was more than I could eat so I cut a quarter off and put it on the bottom hamburger bun (a little mustard, a drop of mayo and ketchup) and voila! I had my burger. And, you know, it was enough to fill me up! Tasty too. I had to take my time because ... well ... you know bread. I have enough patty left for 3 more burgers but, because the bread can be such a hassle I will eat the remainder of the patty without bread. Oh well, you know bread and the band ... it is what it is. Good luck! ~Fran

I am not sure why losing insurance coverage after having lapband and subsequent complications is any worse than losing insurance coverage and having complications from any other WLS; but I guess they were trying to steer you in a direction other than lap band. I also don't understand why they would focus on someone no longer having insurance. Seems weird that they would go there, but maybe I'm just not looking at it the way the seminar instructor was, who knows? I have not heard of "a lot" of people experiencing erosion from the lap band. The couple of times I read about it on this forum it was considered "rare". That said, there is a forum here called "Lap Band Complications", you might want to do a search on that forum for "erosion" to read about it from people that have experienced it first hand. It might be helpful to you. Just a suggestion. I am heading toward the 2 year mark with my band and I am quite satisfied. I realize that not everyone can say that, but isn't that true of almost anything? I wish you the best on your journey to find the surgery that is right for you. ~Fran

For me head hunger has to do with me thinking I'm hungry when in reality I am stressed or angry or sad or some other emotion. My mind wants to eat to soothe the emotion because (as another poster mentioned) it is a habit -- to use food to solve every problem. And no, the band won't change the way I think, but due to restriction I am unable to binge as I have in the past. Just my .02 cents. ~Fran

Ok, so I have been under a great deal of stress lately. My mom was in the hospital (I posted about it last week), she had a few little strokes. She is better, but not great. She is 90 and has a benign tumor in her head, it became inflamed and coupled with some calcification in her brain (idk, I don't understand everything the doc said), she had some little strokes that effected her speech and other functions. Anyway, she is out of the hospital, her speech is better ... but she is still having trouble staying awake. Intellectually I realize that my mom is 90 and I am lucky to still have her around, but emotionally ... it is hard to deal with. But I have been coping. Well, Monday night I find out that a close family friend (my mother was going to marry his father several years ago) had a stroke and died -- he was younger than me! It took me 2 days to call his wife. They were married almost 30 years. I was with him the night they met. He was ready to marry her that night. So, I dreaded calling her ... so much sadness. I finally called, got her answering machine. That was good, I left a message. I will see her on Saturday when I pick up her sis-in-law from the airport. He was a really good guy. I will miss him. I have been trying every which way but loose, not to eat over everything that is going on. I have prayed, meditated, walked, everything I can think of to keep my mind off the fact that he is gone and how painful this is for his family. Of late I have focused on drinking more Water. I did really good yesterday and today. Then, about 10:45 a.m. I got hungry; and as time passed I felt hungrier and hungrier. As noon approached I thought I was going to chew my arm off. The thing is, I don't really get physically hungry. When I stopped to listen to my body - my stomach wasn't grumbling, I wasn't weak, I didn't have hunger pangs - but I was STARVING. And it was all in my head. I went downstairs and bought lunch -- food that I haven't eaten in more than a year -- and rarely ate before that (mainly because I don't really like it). I bought 6 chicken mcnuggets and a small fry. I started with the fries, they didn't taste anything like I expected them to and stopped after eating about 6 of them. My stomach was full and my band was tight (from stress) but I was determined to eat my nuggets. Well, they wouldn't stay down. But I didn't stop until I threw up so hard that it hurt. Now I am in PAIN. My left side just below my rib hurts sooooo much. I thought I had injured my band, but I don't think so because I can drink water and keep it down. I probably have some swelling and will have to live on liquids for the next few days -- which is just as well. Previous to the past few weeks, I had been handling my emotional eating fairly (not perfectly) well. But, then again, life hadn't thrown me any "loops" in a good while either. Suffice it to say, I have learned my lesson (only time will tell). I have a call in to my therapist. I am sure she will call soon. I have a lot to think about regarding my food addiction and my band. I don't want to spend the rest of my life struggling with emotional eating. And I certainly don't want to damage my band. I have to admit that it has been better, but with the band it is just not possible to soothe myself with food. I will continue to work through it. The good news is that I won't be able to eat tonight. I am sure there is swelling around my band, so it's Protein shakes for tonight and tomorrow at the very least. Thanks for letting me vent. This forum is a life saver. ~Fran

Many thanks to all. Today has been a better day. Didn't want to get out of bed this morning, but got up anyway and did my 2 1/2 miles. It really helps ... and so do all of you. Have a wonderful weekend. Be blessed. ~Fran

Thanks Melody, I haven't been a wreck like this in a very long time. I know that I will get through this, I just don't want to damage my band - or my weight loss - in the process. Thanks for your prayers and thoughts, they are much appreciated. ~Fran